You ever get that feeling you're supposed to do something or be somewhere? Some people call it their gut, I called it God.
My husband and I are proud planners and I like to think we're pretty responsible people. But we're relocating and this new journey had both of us trembling at one point. No consistent job lined up, no home of our own, and no idea what's next. Still, we both agree this is exactly where we should be.
It's a little difficult to explain but God spoke to us separately and showed us it was just time to go. We had reached our maximum potential in our current city, and as comfortable as we were, staying too much longer could put a ceiling on fulfilling our purpose dreams. We felt a combination of peace and urgency that we couldn't put aside for much longer.
Now, we're in the thick of it and have been in our new city for less than a week and while there are still things left uncertain, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything in the world.
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The Decision: Ain't Nothin To It But To Do It
Once we resolved within ourselves to embark on this major transition, we knew we had to go for it. Of course, those are the times when all of these inconveniences conveniently pop up. Your car breaks down, an unexpected bill comes in the mail, the list is literally endless. But nothing could get in the way of our decision. We just had to stick to our decision when the inconveniences came.
Like I said, my husband and I are planners, so deciding to move halfway across the country without a plan was shocking to a lot of people. We got the side eye a few times but thankfully we had even more reassurance and support. Either way, we knew this was happening, and there was no turning back as we realized the season in our previous city was simply over.
Once we sat down and made our plan, we broke our lease (which was a journey in itself considering we had just renewed a few months before) and had 60 days to move out and start the biggest faith journey of our lives so far. We started to save like crazy, resigned from our jobs, sold and gave away nearly everything before we packed up the rest, and made the big move.
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Thankfully, we already have a support system in our new city and made plans to move in with his parents. Keep in mind we're newlyweds, so this was a difficult decision to make too.
Be Prepared For The Excitement To Go Away…
Because trust me, ish gets real.
When we first decided to relocate, we were super enthusiastic. We literally could not get out of our previous city fast enough as we thought about the seemingly unlimited possibilities that awaited our arrival. At the same time, it was so easy to get discouraged when the excitement wore off. It seemed unrealistic to ignore the weight of our uncertain future. We went from dreaming big to pinching pennies as our moving date got closer and closer. Yes, we were doing what we felt we were supposed to and were both here for a new journey, but at times, there were agonizing feelings of fear and doubt of what life would be like on the other side. And I couldn't shake it.
…But Don't Let Fear Get The Best Of You
I have to admit, reality truly hit the day we packed up and moved to our new city. But there's something about the power of recognizing fear and being able to pursue your dreams in spite of it. I've always admired the phrase that being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid, it just means you don't let it stop you, so I confronted my fear head-on when I asked my husband one night if he was scared about our move.
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I waited weeks before I asked him because I didn't want to plant any seeds of fear that weren't already there. It took him a few seconds to answer before he said, "I'm shaking in my boots."
We then channeled our inner Beth and Randall of NBC's This Is Us and played Worst Case Scenario where we dished out our biggest fears. It came down to the concern of not being able to find jobs. (Keep in mind our plan was to start trying to have children later this year. And insurance is a mother, no pun intended.) Going from just being afraid to addressing and confronting our fears head-on made a monumental difference for both of us. We couldn't help but laugh and realize even if our worst fears happened, it still wouldn't be that bad.
Enjoy The Ride
Once you get over the fear and worry of your big move or transition, it makes the journey so much more fun. Sure, making a big change in life without knowing the result of it is undeniably terrifying. Whether it's going back to school, leaving your job to start a business, or embarking on or ending a new relationship, change is scary. But it can also be exciting.
Going through this major transition taught me so much about myself that I never even knew was there. I would have never had these experiences had I stayed in my comfort zone and been complacent but not really content. I had to realize I didn't want to miss out on the person I was becoming because I was so focused on and worried about everything that could go wrong. I learned that being able to literally take it one step at a time and watch God do his thing is nothing short of mindblowing.
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I'll be sure to update you all on how things go! I can't wait to share with you the greatness that is bound to happen and cheer you on as you go through transitions of your own.
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During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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xoMAN started as an Instagram Live series and is now a full-cast production, with Walker as the host. Initially, she was skeptical about joining as the new host of xoMan. Not because she doesn’t have the chops to thrive in the role, but because coming in on something that wasn’t her original idea initially seemed daunting for the media personality.
However, since she loves a challenge, the CockTales: Dirty Discussionspodcast host embraced the task with an open heart and mind.
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“I was like, this is a cool concept, so I’m so glad that they decided to turn it into a podcast,” Walker tells xoNecole. “It’s been interesting to take somebody else’s idea and try to turn it into a thing, put it together, and bring it to fruition. I am anxious, nervous, and all things, but above all, I’m excited.”
When xoNecole's managing editor Sheriden Garrett approached Walker to take on the position, it felt like fate. She had previously attempted to get Garrett on her CockTales platform about six or seven years ago due to her expertise in the love and relationship space.
“I was like, wait, y’all listen to the show? And you want me to host a show where I’m only talking to men? And I’m listening to them and not giving them a hard time? I say that because sometimes I feel like, on my show, I may come off like I don’t even like men," she says.
"I love men, but it can be frustrating sometimes on that platform, social media, and other places when they continue to regurgitate the same rhetoric about what I like to call Twitter topics, like constantly talking about who’s paying as a man, as a woman. You should do this. You should do that…It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
A Howard graduate, Walker almost didn’t enter the world of media after listening to advice from elders who said she would make a great lawyer because she loves to debate topics and sometimes argue (haha).
"It’s been cool hearing the stories with the men we’ve spoken to so far at xoMAN, hearing these stories, and hearing them let their guards down.”
After traveling to the nation’s capital to study political science, Walker soon discovered that her only motivation for becoming an attorney was the potential income and witnessing how boss women like Erika Alexander’s Maxine Shaw character on Living Single would look in their suits as career women.
“I realized that this was for real,” she says, studying law at Howard. “This is a lot of work, and when you think about what you do, I was like, this is not a performance, and I just wanted to talk. I wasn’t trying to defend anyone.”
A visit to a fair showcasing the different organizations on Howard’s campus, combined with her affinity for celebrity gossip and entertainment news, ultimately led Walker to explore a radio career. Soon, she auditioned for a show and landed the gig. By the spring semester, she was on the radio, ultimately leading her to switch her major to journalism with a concentration in broadcast news.
Soon after earning her degree in the field, Walker decided she didn’t want to do anything related to hard news. Instead, she became involved in lifestyle content. She used her friends' love of hearing her stories to motivate her to get into podcasting.
The rest is, as they say, history.
“Before podcasts became what they are, I was in a living room with a microphone before ultimately moving to a studio and refining the show. I loved it and knew people were listening because I monitored the analytics and everything," she explains.
"When we decided to do a live show, the show sold out in two weeks, and I was so nervous. I was like, 'Are we ready? Are we gonna be able to sell out this venue?' We didn’t have any sponsorship. We were still independent and had to front the money for everything.”
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“When they sold out in two weeks, not only did I price my tickets too low, but I thought, wow, we’ve got something. I was like, people spent money to hear me and my co-host talking about our shitty love lives. This is wild, all from an idea in my head. It made me feel like I was on the right path and encouraged me to stop doubting myself. I have imposter syndrome," she reveals.
"Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do. I love it. No matter how many sleepless nights I have, I will continue to have bags under my eyes until the end of time because I’m enjoying it.”
"I have imposter syndrome. Even to this day, I’m constantly biased. But it’s like, if not me, then who? And, like, why not me? If people can do it with way less and way more. I’ve been trying to encourage myself and other people to eliminate the doubt that we have in ourselves so we can do whatever it is we want to do."
In between garnering a strong social media presence for her work as a podcast host, lifestyle influencer, and beyond, Walker has managed to use her many gifts and talents, like cooking, and most importantly, giving a strong opinion about the things she does (or doesn’t) believe in to carve out a lane of her own.
As she embarks on this chapter as the host of xoMAN, where she has already spoken with actors Devale Ellis and Skyh Black and Dear Future Wifey podcast host Laterras R. Whitfield, Walker hopes that it encourages people, especially women, to look at their male counterparts from a different perspective.
“I hope that anyone listening can listen to the first few episodes, hear how different each man is, and learn to let down whatever preconceived notions you have about me or a specific man, whoever it is in your life," she says. "Just listen, talk to them, ask them how they feel, and listen with an open mind, without thinking that you already know what the answer is.”
“I just hope that people learn to, again, not put people in boxes and make the other person, whoever it is, men specifically for this show, but sit down and talk with an open mind and listen to understand, not to respond. Help someone feel safe.”
xoMAN officially launches on Tuesday, June. 17.
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