We're all about securing the bag, but what do you do with it once you get it? While getting that bag is the goal, building wealth is the ultimate reward. Who wants to look up and wonder where all their money went? …Only to realize that Popeye's chicken sandwich and online shopping got way too many of our hard-earned coins.
From creating a habit of saving, no matter what your salary (or lack thereof) is, to planning for the future, our budget bae Pamela Capalad, founder of Brunch & Budget and more, offered up quite a few gems that will make building wealth easier than ever.
As told to Char J. Patterson.
Saving On A Budget:
Giphy"We're all told to have a savings goal of 3-6 months of living expenses, and we need to hit a certain number and have it in the bank. For a lot of people, it's really intimidating to hear that. You hear that and you think, 'Well that's never gonna happen, so I'm just never gonna save.' That's usually where our mind goes whether we know it or not. How are you thinking about saving? If you're thinking about it as this one goal that you're finally going to reach, and it just has to be the perfect time (you get a bonus, you get a tax refund, etc.), you need to adjust your mindset.
Make savings a habit, make it a part of your life.
Pay yourself first. Even though it sounds a little weird, think about your savings as a bill. Just like you pay your rent, just like you pay your credit card bill, pay yourself; integrate an amount in your budget that you won't miss. It's more important to get into the act of saving than to try to reach a certain number.
Have a savings account in a place that's totally different from where you bank for your checking account.
When you have your checking and your savings at the same bank, you tend to transfer one amount from your savings to your checking when you're running a little low. Also, most big banks aren't paying you much interest at all for parking your money there. An easy Google search of high-yielding savings accounts will lead you to banks that will help your money make money.
Have part of your direct deposit go directly into your savings.
This way, you never see it at all. You don't have to miss it, you don't have to wonder if it went into your savings. Whatever ends up in your checking account, that's what you have to spend."
Spend What’s Important To You:
Giphy"Budgeting is not this formula. We hear you have to X percentage toward food, X toward your necessities. Before you pull out the spreadsheet, figure out what you actually enjoy spending money on. The categories are your basics like rent, utilities, cell phone, internet, transportation, gas, groceries; all the things you need to physically live and survive. Figure out what this number is and set it aside, then you can see what you have leftover. This is where you get into what your values are. Remember, budgets are not restricting or denying yourself.
Psychologically, what ends up happening is you restrict yourself and then one day you spiral and splurge, and it doesn't end up working out.
After the basics, the other values are 'the details' and 'the nothings'. The details are those things that come to mind when someone asks you to create a budget. You think, 'Do I have to give up my coffee every day? Do I have to give up eating out? Do I have to give up shopping? Do I have to give up on getting my hair and my nails done?' When you have things you don't want to give up, those are your details. They get you through the day and feed you emotionally. It's important to spend money on these things because when we deny ourselves, we end up spending money anyway. You're not taking that $5 and putting it in your savings account. You still spend the money, just on the nothing's value. The nothing is where your money goes but you don't even realize it. The things that don't even come to mind when someone asks you where you spend money, because you don't remember spending money on it.
Before you come up with your budget, see where your money is going. Is it a detail or is it a nothing?
You'll find clear categories and realize that you can give yourself permission to spend money on the details and what's important to you. You'll feel good instead of guilty about it. Then, you can enjoy spending money and you'll be less likely to spend money on the 'nothings'."
Boost That Credit Score:
Giphy"The first thing is knowing what it is, knowing how to read a credit report, and knowing what impacts it. There are a lot of factors that go into your credit. But the ones that impact people the most is making sure you make your payments on time.
35% of your score is on-time payments.
One late payment can affect your credit score for seven years, which is ridiculous, but that's how it works. And that's just 30 days late. I would suggest enrolling in autopay for minimum payments on your credit card. No matter what, making your minimum payment on time, counts as making your payment on time. If you keep a very clean on-time payment record, that's 35% of your score your right there.
30% of your score is based on the balance of your card, compared to your credit limit.
A rule of thumb is you don't want to have more than 30% of the limit on your balance. For example, if you have a $1,000 limit, you don't want to put more than $300 on it at a time. So if you want to use your card, and you have a low limit, there are a couple of things you can do. You can call your credit card company and ask them to increase your limit. You can do this as often as every six months. Sometimes you're pre-approved and it doesn't affect your credit at all, but sometimes they do check your credit. It does affect your score negatively when they check your credit, but it will go back after a couple of months. I had a client who diligently called their credit card company every six months, and her limit is now more than her salary.
You can also pay your credit card bill more often than once a month. They only report your balance every 30 days, so as long as you keep your balance low within a certain timeframe, you can keep using it, getting points, and all that good stuff. If your goal is to get your score higher, I would start paying your cards down to 30% of those limits. If you get it below that, you'll see it go up in the next months or two. Either way, your credit usage affects your score pretty quickly, whether it's above or below the 30%."
Get An Estate Plan Together:
Giphy"No one wants to think about an estate plan. No one thinks they need one. When you hear the word "estate", you think, 'Oh that's for rich people.' But we all have access and things we want to pass on to people.
The easiest thing to do is to name a beneficiary.
You can do this on your retirement account, your 401k, your pension at work, whatever it is. You just need to know their birthday and social security number, and you're done. You don't have to think about it unless something changes. As long as you have a beneficiary who's still alive, the money automatically passes to that person, and it doesn't go through the court system at all. When it goes through the court system, you have to pay court fees, lawyer fees, etc.; and when that happens, that chips away at the money that actually goes to your beneficiaries.
If you just want to pass on money from your bank account, you can complete a transfer-on-death. The name is really morbid, but you just ask your bank for the form, and you can list beneficiaries for all of your bank accounts – checking, savings, and any investment accounts that isn't an investment account.
If you have tangible things you want to leave to people, you can set up a will and name beneficiaries through the will. Anything mentioned in the will goes through probate court, but it's a pretty cut and dry situation. Your family might not need to hire attorneys through the process, they can just go through it themselves. If you own your home, you 1000% need to set up a will. If you have children, you need to set up a will to name guardians for your children in case something happens to their mother and father.
Another important document is the health care property. It allows someone to speak on your behalf for medical decisions, in case you can't speak on your own. The default is your spouse, then your parents, then your siblings, then your next of kin and things like that. I've seen situations where people don't have their parents speaking for them, and they have a significant other who they're not married to. I advise them to fill out a health care property document that be found right on Google, and just give it to their doctor.
Also, a power of attorney is another document that allows someone to handle financial matters for you, in case you couldn't do it yourself. This would be someone to access your bank account, pay your bills, etc.
In the end, I think what tends to happen is, we think of personal finances as something we'll get to eventually. But in reality, when we don't get into these things, we get taken advantage of. When we can get in control of our finances, that's how you can really empower yourself and others."
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Hot Girl Moms: How These Black Celebrities Are Breaking Motherhood Stereotypes
Lately, I have really been in awe of Black moms — from my friends to celebrities. It's both beautifully surprising and thought-provoking to see your people navigating parenthood. Beyond this, it's truly inspiring to witness these Black women redefine motherhood, challenge societal norms, and pave the way for future generations.
One thing that has stood out is the way they choose to mother while also honoring themselves in every way. For one, motherhood doesn’t mean trading in your style, confidence, or ambition. There are powerhouse Black women who effortlessly balance being moms while keeping their hot-girl energy intact. From rocking stages to slaying red carpets, we decided to round up some celebs who redefine what it means to have it all.
These women are living proof that you don’t have to trade in your hot girl card when you become a mom. They’ve shown the world that you can be a caregiver and still exude the confidence, ambition, and style that makes you, you. Who says you can’t have it all?
Beyoncé
(L-R) Beyoncé and Blue Ivy Carter
Amy Sussman/WireImage
When you’re Queen Bey, there’s no dimming your light—ever. As a mom to Blue Ivy and twins Rumi and Sir, Beyoncé continues to dominate the music industry, embodying grace, power, and unmatched work ethic. From headlining Coachella to dropping jaw-dropping visuals for Renaissance, she proves motherhood only enhances the glow. In 2013, Beyonce told Vogue, that becoming a mother helped her to really understand the power of her body:
“I just feel my body means something completely different. I feel a lot more confident about it. Even being heavier, thinner, whatever. I feel a lot more like a woman. More feminine, more sensual. And no shame.”
Victoria Monét
Victoria Monét is the epitome of "cool mom energy." With her adorable daughter Hazel as her muse, she’s kept us grooving with tracks like "On My Mama." Balancing new motherhood and a skyrocketing career, she’s proof that you can have it all—and look flawless doing it.
During an interview with Self, Victoria shared, "After I had Hazel, I went into a full depression. I was very hard on myself, and just judging so much and worrying about what I used to look like and what I used to have. It’s just all living in the past, which is the setup [for feeling like a failure]," she says. "[But] you have to think forward. It’s been a battle to be okay with whatever size I am at the time. So if I go to Disneyland with Hazel, I’m not going to be worrying about the churro, because we’re only at Disney one day."
Jhené Aiko
Jhené Aiko keeps her ethereal energy strong as a mom to two kids, Namiko Love and Noah Hasani. From creating soulful, healing music to co-parenting like a pro, Jhené’s free-spirited essence shows you can nurture both your kids and your inner goddess.
This year, The Purple Agency honored a select group of prominent mothers for their inaugural Mom Honors and the "Stay Ready" singer was among the honorees. Aiko delivered a moving keynote address to conclude the event, sharing her lifelong aspiration of being a mom:
“I always knew I wanted to be a mom more than anything. That was my dream. This is great and I love to do this, but this is not my dream […] It’s fun, but nothing fulfills me more than being a mom."
Ciara
Ciara is serving hot girl mom with no signs of slowing down. From slaying the red carpet with Russell Wilson to inspiring moms everywhere with her fitness and dance routines, Ciara makes sure motherhood doesn’t put a pause on her glow-up. It’s clear that motherhood drives this Atlanta girly. CiCi told Yahoo Music:
“For me, I can speak for myself: Being a mom gave me a bit more of sexy confidence. And it's not about what I'm wearing, it's just more of an internal feeling. I feel there's something very cool about being able to deliver a child, and being able to work hard to get yourself back to that place before you had that child. It's a rewarding feeling… If anything, I think the sexy gets turned up even more!”
Serena Williams
Serena might have retired from professional tennis, but her "hot girl mom" era is still thriving. As a mom to Olympia and a new baby girl, Adira River, Serena continues to serve Black excellence, whether she’s owning the boardroom or slaying on social media. Speaking about how she became to be such a fearless woman toAllure, Serena said:
"I think my mom instilled in us to be confident women, to really believe in ourselves, be proud of our heritage, our hair, and our bodies. That was something that was really important for her to teach us. I’m definitely teaching it to my daughter.”
Rihanna
The billionaire beauty mogul, music icon, and now mother of two, Rihanna is redefining motherhood with unapologetic confidence. From rocking her baby bump at the Super Bowl to running her Fenty empire, Rih proves being a mom only amplifies the bad gal energy.
When asked about how motherhood initially felt for her, she told British Vogue, “Oh, my God, it’s legendary.” Rihanna also affirmed, "Women just need a little bit of validation," she said to The Associated Press. Adding, "You are beautiful. Your body's beautiful. Your body is sexy and you deserve to feel that way."
Cardi B
Cardi’s personality remains larger than life—even as a mom of two. Between her jaw-dropping fashion moments and hilarious, unfiltered parenting takes, she proves motherhood doesn’t stop you from being the life of the party. The Bronx native has had no problems sharing that she has so much compassion—and love and appreciation— for all mothers in the world.
“There is no excuse, we have to do it. I have compassion for good mothers who get up and hustle and work, or even not work—having kids is work. Raising a kid is work.”
And what a feat to work and werk at the same time!
Teyana Taylor
Teyana Taylor is the queen of doing it all. As a mom of two daughters, Iman Jr. and Rue, she balances a multifaceted career as a singer, director, and actress, all while keeping her edgy, hot-girl aesthetic on lock. Teyana Taylor's exceptionally toned physique, showcased in Kanye West's "Fade" music video just eight months after giving birth, ignited widespread admiration and inspired many women to prioritize their fitness goals.
“I love that I can inspire women to feel that way,” she told The FADER. “This video was to do just that. To inspire women and to let them know that we are super women, each and every one of us.”
Kelly Rowland
As a mom to Titan and Noah, Kelly Rowland stays killing the game with her elegance and star power. From her music to her dedication to fitness and fashion, she’s proof you can slay in both the boardroom and the playroom. When it comes to finding the balance of doing it all, she told Scary Mommy:
“I think [that’s] the hardest thing about being a mom. How can I be the best mom, wife, friend, and version of myself all at once? It can be overwhelming at times, but I’ve learned to become more patient with both others and myself, and remind myself it’s okay not to be everything for everyone all of the time.”
Flo Milli
Flo Milli
Taylor Hill/Getty Images
While the “Never Lose Me” singer just announced her pregnancy on Nov. 25, we just know she’s gonna give hot mom vibes. The rapper took to social media sharing, “Flo mommy s— i can’t even see my coochie nomore that’s crazy.” She proudly displayed her baby bump in a series of photos, wearing a white crop top and orange shorts, reminding us that Flo Milli will always remain true to herself.
In an interview with Elle, Flo Milli shared she was raised in a nurturing environment with strong female role models, and she was inspired by neo-soul artists who emphasized self-love and empowerment. These influences instilled in her a strong sense of self-worth, which she actively promotes, particularly for dark-skinned Black women who often face challenges in the music industry. Flo Milli believes that self-perception is paramount, regardless of external opinions.
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