The Black girls are tired of the monthly expenses costing more than our car payments. In one month, I easily find myself spending hundreds if not thousands between ordering groceries, hair appointments, lashes, nail salon appointments, etc. I'll be honest and say at first, I didn't notice because while I'm not rich, I'm also not exactly struggling.
Still, last year, I began to look closer at my finances and discovered feeling like "that girl" was costing me way too much. And while I love looking and feeling put together, is spending all my money on maintenance the most financially responsible thing to do?
There's been an outpour of Black women on social media declaring that the monthly expenses we rack up in the name of maintenance are not only unnecessary but unsustainable. 2023 was my year of ease, and while I will continue to prioritize myself and my needs, I want to be intentional about what I spend my money on and become the DIY girlie that my future self will thank me for.
I be at my appointments with a straight face ain’t shit funny 😭😭 https://t.co/jBgrkgEkYX
— ⭐️ (@Foreign_Star_) November 4, 2023
1. Eyelash Extensions
Last week, I attended a banquet for my grandfather's 80th birthday, and my 13-year-old cousin walked in with the most beautiful lashes. I asked her who she went to, and she told me she learned on YouTube! We have no excuse if the children are learning how to apply their lashes. She's coming over next week to teach me, and I will have some sparkling cider and pizza waiting for her so we can catch up on everything going on in her world.
2. Unnecessary Hair Appointments
Hair care is essential to me, and every week, after a swim, you'll find me in the sauna deep conditioning and loving on my tresses. But I went through this phase where I was changing my hair up every month, sometimes twice a month, because I found myself in a funk. I can't deny that changing my hair brings me joy, but it doesn't need to break the bank. Daily, I scroll through social media and see Black girls do the same hairstyles at home that I pay for, so aside from necessary hair appointments - the hair salons are now on a needed-visit basis.
3. Nail Appointments
This one might upset the girls, and I get that, but hear me out - I work from home, and one day, I had to ask myself, "Girl, who is seeing your nails that cost $120 per appointment on Zoom?!" The answer was absolutely no one. In tandem with that, I've found myself loving the press-ons that I come across, and I have been putting them into my rotation. Am I breaking up with my nail artist? Absolutely not. That's my girl, but she won't see me as much this year.
4. Make-up Appointments
I've been promising myself that I'd learn how to do my own makeup for years, and I'm now in my thirties, calling my makeup artist for every event, whether it's a girl's night or a concert. While I love a beat face, if our girl Jackie Aina, the queen of soft living, still does her makeup, what's my excuse not to start learning?
5. Ordering Groceries
There is a time and a place for this one. Now, if I'm in meeting after meeting, my food is running low, and time isn't on my side, I'll 100% order groceries to save myself additional stress. But I cannot tell you how many times this year I've driven past the grocery store, went home, and ordered groceries only to have to go the next day because items are missing. This year, I'm intentionally scheduling my grocery shopping around my errands and using that money I save on delivery and mindless shopping for my next girls' night out.
6. A New Outfit For Every Event
Raise your hand if you have a closet full of clothes but still feel like you need a new outfit for every event; now that your hand is raised...ask yourself why you are like this. I say this with love because I've had these same discussions with myself, and we are shopping our closet first all year long and then shopping responsibly.
7. Ordering In
I enjoy cooking, and I always have, but I found myself ordering out more than ever once I moved out on my own, and it not only impacted my pockets but also my waistline. Recently, I've found myself experiencing so much joy in cooking and deciding to order out less and instead become more intentional about cooking more of what I enjoy, and when I desire take out, driving to go get it, and if I don't want to drive to pick the food up, then I clearly don't want it as much as I thought I did.
8. Luxury Massages
I went through this phase of needing to go to the most aesthetically pleasing places, only to discover that you're paying not just for the service, you're paying for the vibes. Growing up watching Girlfriends, I thought every massage I'd experience would be with my girls at a luxury spa with champagne, and then I realized it wasn't sustainable. That's not to say that I don't indulge in the $250 massage, but monthly, I can afford the $50 massage at the local spa with ease, and trust me when I say the experience is just as satisfying, if not more because I know I can go back.
Does cutting these expenses mean I no longer allow myself to experience ease and rest? No, because every month, I still have my house cleaned and enjoy dinners out, massages, weekly swims, time in the sauna, and other activities because my budget is now more flexible because my monthly maintenance isn't draining my bank account.
This year, ask yourself what you really need every month. Your future self will thank you for it.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Serena Williams Hits Back At Skin-Bleaching Accusations: 'I’m A Dark, Black Woman, And I Love Who I Am'
Serena Williams is clapping back at skin-bleaching accusations. During a makeup tutorial for her beauty brand, Wyn Beauty, the tennis legend took the opportunity to address the "haters."
“And then I put just that neutral color, that is actually my skin color, and no, for you haters out there, I do not bleach my skin,” she said. “There is a thing called sunlight, and in that sunlight, you get different colors.”
The rumors started after the mom of two posted a video of herself and her husband, Alexis Ohanian, at their daughter's school play. In the video, she appeared to look a few shades lighter. During her response, she revealed that she was volunteering at the play and wore stage makeup.
“Yes, I’m calling you out on this because it is ridiculous that everyone’s like, ‘Oh, she bleached her skin,’" she said. "I’m a dark, Black woman, and I love who I am, and I love how I look and that's just not my thing.”
The 23-time Grand Slam champion also said that she doesn't judge anyone who bleaches their skin as she "stays in my lane."
Serena has always had style on and off the court, and even collaborated with Nike with her own collection Serena Williams Design Crew. However, the tennis champ has now pivoted into beauty.
Wyn Beauty was launched in April 2024 with at 10-piece collection of lip, eye, and complexion products. The brand was inspired by Serena's time on the court and the packaging is reminiscent of a tennis ball due to its chartreuse color.
“Throughout my career, I was always searching for makeup that looked good after hours on the court, mixing products myself and creating my own formulas while traveling the world,” she said in a statement. As she continues to make a name for herself in the beauty industry, I'm sure we will see a lot more looks from the tennis star.
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Feature image by Marc Piasecki/WireImage