
The Rules This Social Media Coach Is Living By In Order To Retire By 40

Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Born Sara Hood in a Sudan refugee camp after her parents escaped a civil war, this Seattle-bred influencer does not show any signs that she has been through any of the hardships she has ever endured. As a mother of two— including a first-born diagnosed with autism— Sara Lovestyle uses the many hats she wears as a mother, wife, advocate, and entrepreneur to demonstrate the true definition of living a "lovestyle", a pseudonym that was born out of her desire to live a life of happiness, wholeness and health.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the 33-year-old social media coach and lifestyle influencer about the importance of investing, generational wealth being the greatest form of wealth, and her worst money mistake of not trusting her gut instinct.
On how much she saves and if it’s in a high-yield savings account:
"When it comes to being an influencer, it took me two years before I started making money and four years before it was significant. I've also discovered it's not so much about what you make (revenue) but what you keep (profit), so I do projections for my business revenue and personal income for a year, along with the budget. I also prioritize what needs to be done to retain a certain level of profit margin, normally at 30 percent, and I believe in saving/investing 20 percent."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"The greatest form of wealth is generational wealth in the form of financial prosperity you can pass down from one generation to the next. Wealth at its core is also the financial freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it—creating a prosperity engine where my kids are able to do the same, too…in perpetuity, as T.I. would say (laughs). Success to me is more than just financial freedom. It's the impact I can create and the legacy I can leave.
"Success is evolving to a level of impact where you can empower others. It's being able to start a VC fund for black, brown, and female entrepreneurs because we are so underrepresented and underfunded. Success is all about the tables I can build and fill for others. Whose lives did I touch with my success? Who did I encourage, uplift, impact with my success? Success for oneself leads to a lonely life, and I want so much more than that. Success is not a self-centered pathway to acquiring more clout and material possessions. It's empowering more leaders of excellence and creating the bold audacious change the world needs."
Courtesy of Sara Lovestyle
"Success is all about the tables I can build and fill for others. Success for oneself leads to a lonely life, and I want so much more than that. Success is not a self-centered pathway to acquiring more clout and material possessions. It's empowering more leaders of excellence and creating the bold audacious change the world needs."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances, and how she overcame it:
"In college, I was working at the gas station and at the mall making below minimum wage. I was literally working 16 hours every day while taking a full load of college credit hours. It was rough because I was in sheer survival mode, working whatever hours were necessary to pay rent and stay in school. The interesting thing about the low points when dealing with finances is that they made me scrappy and stronger. It's where my hustle and drive come from. I hustle the same at my lowest and at my highest because to level up from any spot always requires everything you got."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"My biggest splurge is my house. It's where I spend the most time. It's where I raise my children. But the biggest splurge inside my house is the chandelier in my office (laughs). I budgeted for everything, but my chandelier I had to have…because it was a symbol that made me feel like a boss. I love looking up at it because it reminds me to grind and continue to level up…every single day. Success is leased not owned, and rent is due every day."
Courtesy of Sara Lovestyle
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I am a little bit of both. Majority of my splurges are for my business, and I don't consider them splurges; they are investments into my business. If I want to splurge on a purse or shoe I will, but it's planned and calculated if I earned it. If it's a reward, I will. Also, the rule I have is similar to what Jay-Z said. If I can't afford something three times, I don't buy it. If I can buy it once, I consider it a negative, if I can afford it twice, I break even, and if I can afford it three times, then I'm still in the positive.
"Another thing that I do is I plan my finances, my goals, and budgets for my entire year. I break it down to the month, and I have a specific budget each month. I'm blessed as well because my parents made sure to teach me financial literacy starting really young."
"The rule I have is similar to what Jay-Z said. If I can't afford something three times, I don't buy it. If I can buy it once, I consider it a negative, if I can afford it twice, I break even, and if I can afford it three times, then I'm still in the positive."
On the importance of investing:
"It's interesting I went from having never invested to several in a matter of months. Investing has expanded my mind to many experiences and knowledge I would've never gotten in different sectors of business. I invest in financial investments (stocks), and normally put 10 percent of my income toward it. In addition, I make business investments as an angel investor, which I'm most proud of. I invested into Moon UltraLight, an innovative new touch-controlled mobile lighting device designed to clip onto any smartphone or tablet. Its founder is a genius black entrepreneur named Ed Madongorere.
"The number one tip I would give before investing in a business is, you're investing in the person not the business. There could be an exceptional business idea, but if the founder doesn't have a plan of execution or isn't focused, then it won't matter. A recommendation I would also give is to truly study the industry that you're passionate about. Binge on as much information as you can, and then connect with others in the same industry."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"My savings goal is to have three years of emergency savings in reserves. I am intentionally building cash flow systems so that I can be in position to retire in seven years by 40. At that point, my goal is to have built enough cash reserves and investments where I could live off the interest if I wanted to for the rest of my life. At this stage, I imagine [in my] retirement [that I am] still being impactful, so it would be filled with philanthropy, travel, and my family."
Courtesy of Sara Lovestyle
"My savings goal is to have three years of emergency savings in reserves. I am intentionally building cash flow systems so that I can be in position to retire in seven years by 40. At that point my goal is to have built enough cash reserves and investments where I could live off the interest if I wanted to for the rest of my life."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"Before you even make a substantial amount of money, you should always have a budget. It's the foundation to managing your finances. The basics of a budget is you must understand. To the penny. What's coming in or out. What is a necessity (i.e. rent/mortgage) and what's a want? Something I've noticed with even some of my own friends is [people] not paying attention to any subscriptions they have. Sure an app might only be $1.99 or something is $29.99, and something else is only $49.99, but all of that adds up. You have to stay on top of it all with a budget. The same discipline it takes to manage $1,000 is the same it takes to manage $1 million."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"When I created my lifestyle influencer platform, I was initially a make-up stylist and beauty influencer, and make-up styling services became a primary income stream. As I began to pivot and expand, I created income streams for even more influencer passions I have coined a 'Lovestyle' which includes fitness, cooking, and social media influencer coaching. The streams of revenue created for these areas of influence include sponsored social media posts and affiliate marketing, cookbooks, cooking classes, fine dining pop-up events, Belay & Bell Spices — and influencer coaching with my new business partnership with AgencyLuxCo and business partner Taylor Winbush.
"Having only one source as an influencer and entrepreneur isn't smart for me. Social media is a billion-dollar industry. To not have several streams would be doing myself and my audience a disservice, especially because all of my services are tangible, measurable, and scalable resources for others and their businesses."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"I would say an unhealthy habit is operating with a scarcity mindset. The thought of 'Is it enough?' can be stressful. It can consume you as well as take up precious mental space and energy with worry. I had to understand that to travel far in business and to truly be successful I needed to spend on my team, resources, software, and the things required to make me successful in my businesses. Once I changed my mindset, my businesses began to grow exponentially."
On her money mantra:
"What gets measured gets done."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"I'm structured in my personal life, in my business, and I'm certainly structured with my finances. It's rare I'll make random purchases. If it doesn't make sense or if I can do without it, I just won't. The other thing is I rarely buy on trend. That goes for shoes, clothes, furniture—whatever. Even the items in my closet for the most part aren't [trends]. The problem with following trends is that trends change, and trends aren't budget-friendly because you always have to keep up."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"The worst money mistakes I've made all happened because I did not follow my instincts. I was presented with a business deal that I didn't feel good about, but I did it to please others I cared about. The structure was wrong, there was no long-term plan, and I didn't trust the business owner completely. Within 90 days, the business collapsed, and I lost all the money I had invested. It makes me sick to my stomach to this day because I didn't trust my instincts that were 100 percent right. Discernment is real, and every mistake I've made is because I didn't listen to my spirit and it always backfired."
On her budget breakdown:
"My budget breakdown for my business is one-third goes back into the business, one-third toward business expenses, and one-third is for me. Keep in mind for a long time I did not take a salary. It was more important to keep my team and put it back into my business. When I teach financial budgeting for influencers, I normally use this breakdown for personal expenses:
Housing: 40%
Auto: 15%
Expenses: 20%
Savings/Investments: 15%
Wants: 10%"For more Sara Lovestyle, follow her on Instagram or visit her official website.
Featured Image Courtesy of Sara Lovestyle
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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Feature image by Earl Gibson III/Shutterstock