

We all know that abusing a child is wrong. Dead wrong. But I wonder how many parents consider not properly preparing their children to be financially stable and responsible adults as its own form of abuse; especially if you take into account a Dr. Phil definition of the word that I really like — "Abuse is 'abnormally using' something."
I know that growing up, this wasn't the biggest priority in my home and boy did I have to learn some lessons the hard way once I was out on my own. Don't bounce checks. Don't get a credit card without a job (heads up on that, college freshmen). SAVE MONEY. If you're going to be a freelancer, hire an accountant. The list goes on and on.
Hmph. Apparently, I'm not alone because according to "This Is How Much Debt the Average American Has Now—at Every Age", people my age (I'll be 45 this year) are, on average, $133,100 in debt. Folks who are under 35? At least $67,000.
You don't want to wait until you're my age (or your parents' age) to start caring about how to handle your coins because when you're financially ill-prepared, life has a way of beating you up (and down) like nothing else can. That's why, even if you're in your 20s, trust me, you want to be vigilant about setting a few money goals so that you can be proactive rather than reactive with your money.
In my opinion, here are 10 to put on your priority list:
1. You Need a Weekly, Monthly, and Annual Budget
I have a friend whose accountant told him that he's been wasting thousands of dollars annually on eating out. It's so out of control that he's been placed on a dining-out budget. Although that might sound crazy to you at first, dig this. It's been reported that if you spend even $100 per month on takeout, that's $1,175 a year!
This is what happens when you spend without a budget. If you want to keep your bills paid (on time) and have a leg up on not accruing debt, it's important to have a weekly, monthly and annual budget. Your weekly one should consist of things like gas and food. Your monthly one should focus mainly on your bills. Your annual one should be all about big purchases and vacations.
If you need a little help putting a budget in place, there are some cool budgeting apps here.
2. Open an Account with a Credit Union
I'm not sure why more of us (me included) don't have accounts with credit unions. They certainly come with some perks that make it well worth our while. For starters, they typically have lower fees and interest rates than most banks. Plus, if you have bad credit and you're trying to change that or qualify for a loan, they tend to want to work with you more than other financial institutions do. According to my friends that use them, another bonus is they provide top-notch customer service.
Every coin has its flip side and credit unions are no different. The two biggies are most have "qualifiers" (like living in a certain region or needing to be in school) to join. Also, since they are smaller than banks, their locations and hours may not be the most convenient. But when you think of the advantages that come with them (especially if you want to buy a house in the near future), they're at least worth looking into.
3. You Should Have a Savings Account (with at least $1,500 in it)
Some people think that the purpose of a savings account is so you have money for emergencies. No, that is what you need an emergency fund for (which we'll get to in just a sec). A savings account is for long-term goals or simply money that you can have set aside that can accrue interest.
If you know you are pretty frivolous with your spending, that's another reason to get one because most banking institutions will limit the number of transfers and withdrawals you can make (it's typically around six a month).
How much should be in your savings account? A lot of financial experts recommend no less than $500 but you can really pat yourself on the back if it's $1,500 or more.
If you want to start a savings account online, check out "Best High-Yield Online Savings Accounts of 2019".
4. You Should Also Have an Emergency Fund
Here's a reality check like a mug: Did you know that 80 percent of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck? This means if they lose their job, they probably can't even cover the following month's expenses.
This is why having an emergency fund is so crucial. Although we hope you won't get a pink slip or your car won't break down any time soon, you don't want to feel like you're up a creek without a paddle if either thing happens.
How much should be in this fund? At least one month's worth of expenses. But even once you reach that goal, it's a good idea to put $50-100 each month into this particular account if you can.
5. Hire a Tax Accountant
Last year, NPR did a special entitled "Freelanced: The Rise of The Contract Workforce". It revealed that approximately 1 in 5 workers are freelance workers. I happen to be one of them.
While nothing beats the sheer pleasure of working in my PJs from the comfort of my crib, let me tell you who I am consistent rivals with — the IRS. I've owed money to them, in some form, for almost 20 years now. A part of the reason is due to filling out 1099s instead of W-2s (which means I'm responsible for my own taxes). But real talk, another part of it is because I didn't invest in a tax accountant the moment I decided to freelance full-time.
Another great read is "Female Entrepreneurs Are the Next Wave of Business Success". If you don't plan on working for someone else, or you'd prefer to be a freelancer, spending money on a tax accountant is money well spent.
6. Download a Money-Making App
I can't tell you how many times I've made some last-minute money to cover an unexpected expense by knowing some ways to make a little cash on the side. One way to do that is by downloading a money-making app.
Ibotta gives you cash back, just for shopping. Field Agent pays you for completing small tasks around the house, etc. iPoll gives you gift cards and airline points in exchange for your opinion. There's a whole world of these kinds of apps at your disposal. And every little bit counts.
7. Reduce Your Amount of Credit Cards (and Credit Card Debt)
Personally, I don't have a credit card. Not one, and my needs have been met and my life hasn't fallen apart. One reason why is due to the fact that I recently read that while the average American household has around $8,000 of revolving debt, about 80 percent of it is due to credit cards. I'm not interested in being a part of that statistic.
Listen, credit cards are not giving you free money. They are high-interest loans that come in the form of little pieces of plastic. Convenience-wise, a debit card can do the same thing a credit card can (hold or book a reservation, etc.). If you're using them for big expenses, saving up and paying cash is the much smarter route. You'll own whatever it is you purchased and you won't have to worry about receiving a bill in the mail later.
But if you absolutely must have at least one in your possession, look for a low-interest card and pay your card off monthly. Otherwise, the interest alone may have you constantly playing catch-up.
8. Tithe to Yourself
All Christians reading this, I am well aware of Malachi 3. Yes, tithing is important. What's also important is self-care.
Oftentimes, what used to get me into financial trouble is, I'd randomly go on a shopping binge or treat myself to a spa appointment without taking my other financial obligations into consideration. This isn't a problem since I now set money aside each month for myself.
A lot of folks who live by this principle, set aside 10 percent of each paycheck for themselves. It goes to things like pampering, entertainment, or even travel. But even if that's too steep for you, do try and set aside between 3-5 percent. If you make $2,000 a month, 3 percent of that is $60. That's a mani/pedi each month or, if you save up for six months (and you look for deals), $360 can earn you an entire spa day (and then some) — all without pulling away from your cell phone bill or rent money in order to make it happen.
9. Make (at Least) One Investment
Investments are something else that pays off. Word on the street is, smart ones for people in their 30s include buying property and investing in stock-based index funds (which can help to set you up for retirement), like bonds and cryptocurrencies.
Even if you already own or, for whatever the reason, don't want to purchase a house to live in; I have a friend who's turning 29 this year who owns three Airbnbs in downtown Nashville. And chile, he's clearing $6,000-9,000 each month on those alone. No joke.
10. Get a Side Hustle
If someone were to ask me what I do for a living, I'd say I am a marriage life coach, a writer, and a doula. I'm pretty passionate about all three, so I wouldn't necessarily call any of them "side hustles". But the point I'm making here is I don't have all of my eggs in one basket.
Neither should you. Another friend of mine runs his own business. He's in his late 30s and cleared over $250,000 last year. But he's constantly talking to me about how it could all end in a blink (he's in the music industry; that's why he says that) and so he needs to come up with other sources of making income.
Being in your 20s and having a regular gig and a side hustle?! Just knowing the importance of having multiple streams of income will make riding this financial roller coaster ride we're all on so much easier to handle. Believe that.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Getty Images.
Originally published on February 8, 2019
- Top Money Making Apps, Best Money Making - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Best Money Lessons I Learned From My Father - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 5 Financial Goals You Should Accomplish Before Turning 30 ›
- 10 Simple Steps to Financial Security Before 30 ›
- 25 Goals All Millennials Should Achieve Before Turning 30 - The ... ›
- The 10 Best Money Goals to Reach Before Age 30 | Career Contessa ›
- Financial Goals to Reach Before You Turn 30 ›
- 30 Financial Milestones You Need To Hit By Age 30 ›
- 10 Financial Goals You Should Reach Before 30 ›
- Things to accomplish with your money before 30 - Business Insider ›
- 10 Money Goals to Cross Off Your List Before 30 ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by AFF-USA/Shutterstock