When it comes to keeping up with the growth and health of your hair, finding the right ingredients to support your goals is key. From retaining length to preventing breakage, sometimes the cost of maintenance can be an investment within itself. But there’s nothing wrong with getting a little crafty with our hair care concoctions, especially when you have the right ingredients to whip up a miracle hair mask of your own.
Hair masks have always been a go-to solution for repairing damaged hair strands, deep conditioning our hair, or simply being a mode of relaxation within our self-care ritual. While many brands offer hefty-priced jars of creams and treatments that can restore and strengthen our hair, DIY masks can be a cost-efficient alternative that offers the same conditioning, soothing, and corrective benefits as many store-bought products.
10 DIY Hair Masks for Hair Growth and Scalp Care
If you’re ready to start whipping up your own DIY hair care cocktails, we’ve got the best mixtures and combinations to try out.
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DIY Aloe Vera Hair Mask To Promote Hair Growth
Aloe vera is known for its numerous benefits for hair, including promoting hair growth, reducing dandruff, and adding shine and moisture. It contains enzymes that can help stimulate hair follicles while adding moisture and hydration to your hair, making it soft and manageable. Aloe vera's antibacterial and antifungal properties can help alleviate dandruff and an itchy scalp and contains vitamins and amino acids that can repair damaged hair and reduce breakage.
In order to make an aloe vera hair mask at home, take aloe vera gel and combine it with two tablespoons of olive oil or castor oil and an egg. Mix it until smooth. Once smooth, apply the paste mixture to your scalp for 20-25 minutes.
Coconut Oil And Cinnamon Hair Mask
A coconut oil and cinnamon hair mask may sound like the start of your favorite baked good, but the mixture can help promote hair health by providing nourishment and stimulating the scalp. With coconut oil fatty acids that penetrate the hair shaft, paired with cinnamon’s stimulating properties that promote blood circulation to the scalp and hair growth, this all-natural conditioner will leave your hair soft and smooth.
In order to make it, combine warmed coconut oil with a tablespoon of honey and two tablespoons of cinnamon. Mix until it becomes a thick paste. Apply it to your scalp and leave the mixture there for at least 20 minutes.
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DIY Deep Conditioning Moringa and Fenugreek Hair Growth Mask
Both fenugreek seeds and moringa have been the center of many recent hair growth trends, and for good reason. Together, this mask can be a natural remedy to improve growth and scalp health by reducing issues like itchiness and dryness. Fenugreek seeds contain compounds that may stimulate hair follicles, while moringa is rich in vitamins and minerals that support hair growth. Whip them together with a yogurt-based mask, and over time, your hair will be giving inches.
Brands like kCurlsys offer a deep conditioning smoothie featuring those nourishing ingredients as a part of their product line. If you want to make your own at home, YouTuber CRYSTAL MADUKA provided an in-depth tutorial on how to make your own moringa and fenugreek hair growth mask. You can find that tutorial here.
Deep Conditioning Rice and Avocado Hair Mask For Low Porosity Hair
When it comes to this hair mask, you can shop your refrigerator for all the ingredients you’ll need. A rice and avocado hair mask is a nourishing and moisturizing treatment that can help improve hair health and manageability due to avocado’s rich, healthy fats and vitamins that moisturize and condition the hair, leaving it soft and silky. Rice comes into play since it contains amino acids that can help strengthen the hair, reducing breakage.
To learn how to make this, YouTuber Chrissy Got The Coils has the perfect rice and avocado hair mask recipe that you can DIY here.
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DIY Apple Cider Vinegar Deep Conditioning Hair Mask Recipe
We may not love the smell of apple cider vinegar, but we absolutely adore what it can do to make our hair flourish. An ACV mask can help balance the pH of your scalp and remove product buildup and excess oil, all while promoting healthier, shinier hair.
The apple cider vinegar hair mask recipe calls for 1 ½ tablespoons of ACV, 1 teaspoon of olive oil, and two tablespoons of honey. Mix the ACV with the olive oil and honey and gently apply it to your hair for 10 minutes. Rinse with warm water, and your hair will thank you.
Avocado And Banana DIY Hair Mask Recipe
If your hair is in need of some hydration and moisture, this DIY hair mask may be for you. Made up of avocado for its healthy fats and vitamins, along with bananas, which contain natural oils and vitamins, this duo will provide intense moisture to dry and damaged hair, leaving it soft and supple.
To make it, mix half of an avocado, half of a ripe banana, 1 tablespoon of olive oil, and an egg to create a thick mixture. If needed, add some water to the paste. Apply the paste-like mixture to your hair and leave the mask on for at least 30 minutes, preferably with heat.
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Egg Yolk Nourishing Hair Mask Recipe
We know, we know. The thought of putting egg yolks into your hair may give you the ick, but if you knew some of the benefits, you might reconsider. An egg yolk hair mask is a natural and cost-effective way to improve the health and appearance of your hair. They are rich in proteins, particularly keratin, which is the primary structural component of hair and can help restore hair strands and reduce breakage.
According to Byrdie, a simple way to make a DIY egg yolk hair mask is by mixing two egg yolks and a tablespoon of mayonnaise together. Apply the mix to your hair and allow it to sit on your hair and scalp for 20 minutes.
DIY Castor Oil Deep Conditioning Hair Mask
For textured hair, in particular, castor oil is going to be your hair’s best friend. With castor oil’s ricinoleic acid, which has been shown to promote hair growth, added to your scalp, it’ll help stimulate dormant hair follicles, leading to thicker and longer hair over time.
Probably one of the simpler hair masks featured on this list; in order to make this one, just apply castor oil to the scalp and hair directly, from roots to ends. Leave the oil in your hair as a mask for two hours with heat before washing it out.
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DIY Olive Oil And Coconut Oil Hair Mask
For a deep conditioning and nourishing hair mask, we recommend one with olive oil and coconut oil. Coconut oil has become a bit controversial in the natural hair space, but as a mask, it still holds its weight. These oils contain essential nutrients that can strengthen hair strands, reducing breakage and split ends. Coconut oil has also been shown to reduce protein loss from hair, helping to maintain its structural integrity. So, if you want a more healthy scalp, this could be worth a try.
In order to make this DIY hair mask, combine one cup of warmed coconut oil and a 1/2 cup of olive oil. After mixing it together, apply the mixture to your hair as a mask. Leave it there for 45 minutes, or even overnight, if you want to wear it as an overnight deep conditioning hair mask.
Yogurt Hair Mask
One thing our hair loves is moisture, so trust us when we say that if your hair has been in need of it, a yogurt hair mask could be the answer you're looking for. Yogurt is rich in lactic acid, which helps moisturize and hydrate your hair, making it ideal for dry or damaged hair. It also contains protein, which helps repair and restore damaged hair. On the other side, yogurt is packed with natural probiotics that can serve as the perfect scalp treatment for reducing flakiness and dandruff.
Make your own yogurt hair mask at home by following YouTuber Yasser K's five-minute tutorial for making a yogurt hair mask here.
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2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphyWhereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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