Both my acrylics and my bundles are long gone. My mustache is growing back with a vengeance, and it's safe to say that the quarantine has humbled me.
For the first time in a long time, I've been forced to take a good, hard look at my natural self and the woman I see looking back at me is upsetting me and my homegirls.
The ability to book a pedicure, wax, or silk press pretty much put my beauty routine on cruise control and now that I've lost it—your good sis is struggling. I am your good sis. Although I'm able to paint my own toes and put my wrist to work with a razor, the task of taming my tresses has been another story entirely. Now that my third sew-in in a row has reached its expiration date, I've come to find that my twist-outs never quite twist out and my wash-and-go makes me happy to stay at home.
Heat damage and bleach have pretty much fried, dyed, and laid my curls to the side, but just when I was about to give up hope, I received a package from Mielle that got my tresses together expeditiously. Before playing around with the products, I tapped my stylist, owner of Denver hair salon, Booji Beauty for a virtual consult where she gave me five must-have tips when it comes to perfecting my twist-out:
- Make sure to deep condition and rinse thoroughly before any protective style.
- Detangle from roots to end.
- Make sure it's completely dry before untwisting.
- Separate coils with oil on your fingertips (avoid over-separating).
- Be patient.
After my virtual consult with Jasmine, I tried Mielle's Rosemary Mint Collection for a Flexi-rod twist out on my fussy, chemically damaged hair.
Here's what happened:
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Step One: Activate Hydration
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After shampooing my hair thoroughly with Mielle's Rosemary Mint Strengthening Shampoo (Target, $10), I dove right into the deep conditioning process. I sectioned my hair into parts and applied Mielle's Rosemary Mint Strengthening Hair Masque (Target, $10) from root-to-end and began detangling. Then, I put on a shower cap and allowed this to sit for about three hours. I'd probably even sleep in this mask if I'm having a really bad hair week (which is pretty frequent for me).
Step Two: Rinse & Detangle
Next, I make sure I this masque is rinsed out completely (per Jasmine's instructions) and sectioned my hair to make sure it was completely detangled. Since where I live in Denver is EXTRA dry—and so is my hair––I applied Mielle's Rosemary Mint Scalp & Hair Strengthening Oil (Target, $10) on my scalp and mildly split ends during this process.
Step Three: Get Twisted
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My least and favorite part of this process is getting twisted, which took me about two hours to get right. While my two-strand struggle was real, Mielle's Multivitamin Rosemary Mint Styling Cream (Target, $10) had enough slip for my grip to snap even the most unruly curls into shape. I then applied Flexi rods at the ends of my twists and went TF to bed. I allowed my twists to stay in for about two days, and no mom, I didn't go anywhere with these rollers in my head.
And then, it was judgment time.
The Final Results
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As a naturalista-in-training, I wasn't sure what results to expect from this experiment, but if all else failed, I could rest assured that my hair smelled good as f*ck.
After applying a generous amount of Mielle's Rosemary Mint Scalp & Hair Strengthening Oil (Target, $10) to my finger tips, I unraveled my twists and discovered a curl pattern that I forgot existed. While I would suggest adding a leave-in conditioner to this routine to help curls stay fresh longer, and I still need some practice before perfecting my twist-out, this collection gave me the hydration and definition that I needed to say goodbye to my bundles for a while and finally embrace my natural hair.
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Featured image courtesy of Pretty Honore/xoNecole.com.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Driving 45 minutes to meet Owens for their first date, Simone saw something she couldn’t resist. “I know what I like and I know what I want,” she stated confidently about their relationship in the past. When asked how an unknown football player managed to bag a woman as accomplished as Simone Biles, Owens stated on the podcast, “I always say the man is the catch.”
If that wasn’t enough to agitate women around the world, he continued to reminisce on how love found him unexpectedly. “I was fighting it. At the time, I was afraid to commit.”
Simone Biles' Husband Jonathan Owens Says He's the 'Catch' Over HerSimone Biles and her husband, Green Bay Packers safety Jonathan Owens, stopped by 'The Pivot' podcast and opened up about ...
Owens, being in his third year as a professional athlete, was apprehensive, to say the least, but says the connection was instant. “If she didn’t message me, chances are my mind would have gone somewhere else,” he continued. “She messaged me, and she wasn’t scared.”
Unsurprisingly, the interview quickly went viral, with women sharing the same sentiments across cultures. How could an unknown athlete feel as though he’s the catch in comparison to his superstar wife?
What Makes Someone a "Catch"?
A "catch" is typically an ideal partner, however, this term isn’t gender specific. One who is kind, intelligent, financially secure, attractive, and on a mission to live a wholesome and happy life. On the contrary, women with valued traits are often referred to as "a prize." According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of a prize is "something offered or striven for in competition or in contests of chance," "something exceptionally desirable," or "a contest for a reward." Synonyms of the word "prize" include "treasure," "gem," "jewel," "gold," and even "catch."
In today’s society, men and women seem to have conflicting opinions on what is and who is indeed the catch within a relationship, especially one as high profile as Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens. Recognizing how tiring it can be to constantly analyze relationship dynamics on the internet, especially in the Black community, it’s still a hot topic that's important and worthy of a healthy conversation.
The modern feminine mentally has been shaped to be independent, self-sustaining, smart, and hard-working whilst maintaining her beauty and physique. Single women who are perceived to balance those attributes are typically looking for a valuable man to settle down with who can offer similar traits if not more, also known as “a good catch.”
Whether we believe this to be true or false about Jonathan Owens in regards to him being “the catch” in comparison to his gold medalist wife, Simone saw an opportunity and seized it.
Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens pose on the field prior to Game One of the 2022 World Series.
Carmen Mandato/Getty Images
The interview shattered the internet and sparked a larger debate about modern dating, relationships, and labels. Like many, something about the conversation initially made me feel uneasy. Regardless of my personal bias towards whether a woman should pursue a man, it was how Owens arrogantly referred to himself as “a catch” and admitted to seemingly having no interest in having a relationship with his now wife and that there was no attraction from his end.
To get a better understanding of his perspective, I spoke with five single men in their 30s on their definition of a good catch and why they believe women from across cultural spectrums are upset at Owens for labeling himself as such.
A man can definitely be the catch. Women are often upset on the internet about this because they think it’s impossible for a man to be a catch. If a man is a provider, if he makes a certain amount of money with a certain amount of status, he can be the catch. In [Jonathan Owens'] situation as Simone Biles' husband, he may not be the catch because his wife is more accomplished and decorated than him.
"If he was an NFL player dating a regular girl, he would be the catch because he has a certain level of financial and social status, but since he’s dating a decorated gymnast, I think he’s not the catch. Being a good catch could be a multitude of things like who’s the better-looking one, who’s the most financially stable, who has the better job. It could be a combination of things.” - Brandon, 31
“I think people were overreacting. I don’t think it’s a problem for a man to feel like the catch or sometimes even being the prize. You’re one of the top athletes in the world and a multi-millionaire. As a Black man, you’re in a very small percentage. If you also have amazing qualities as a man, you’re definitely a catch (laughs). I think I’m a catch. I make great money, a family man, an amazing father, a gentleman, a model. I don’t think it’s many like me walking around, and I say that humbly. I think that makes me a catch. I shouldn’t have to feel less than in the dating game because I’m not a woman.” - Corey, 31
“Most of these discussions are aimed at fanning the flames of this internet 'gender war' keeping us on opposing sides rather than coming together. Especially in the Black community. What I appreciate about the Jonathan Owens interview is the genuine honesty he displayed. What I loved about what Simone did is that she saw what she wanted and went after it! She jumped in his DMs, she took the initiative and drove to the city to come see him while he was in training camp, and saw for herself if this was a man she could see herself with long term, and if this was a man that could lead her and their potential family. She determined all of that with confidence and grace. She did it without ego and other societal pressures.
"I believe women will have much better outcomes in dating if they focus more on the men they actually want versus only dealing with the men that speak to them or are in close proximity. Men are more focused on achieving and building a foundation for themselves and their future family. Women should focus on aligning themselves with a strong man who is being led by a higher power in pursuit of their goals and purpose. A man that is seeing success or showing signs of success and discipline in his life. Because as we all know every male isn’t a husband, and a female isn’t a wife!
"A woman who finds herself a husband, he is her prize. She shows him off, she takes on his name, she beats out all the other women, and she was 'the one' that got him to settle down. A man who finds a wife has found himself a treasure. He protects and cherishes her because that is the most precious, beautiful, and important thing to him. She shines bright, and he will always handle her with care and keep her shielded so other men won’t try to take her.” - Brandon, 36
"A man being a catch is certainly a flip of what we are usually used to (the woman being the catch). It actually shines a small light on the fact that there is and isn’t a lot of men that women can choose from these days. Part of that reasoning is how the system is set up to stop the growth of Black families, the prison system, social media, etc. I think a man being a catch is a good concept. It shows that we are needed in this world. It puts good pressure on us to be the best version of ourselves. Being a catch is important.
"To me, it means becoming the best version of yourself. Becoming suitable and mature enough to lead a woman and a family. To lead the next generation of you. Being spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially fit to take on all that life can throw at us. Not too many good quality men around for women to choose from, so, yes I support men aiming and carrying themselves as the catch. The woman is the catch just as much. It can literally apply to both sexes." - Vik, 31
“There are more women than men. You can find beautiful women just about anywhere. A grocery store, laundry mat, walking down the street, sporting events, etc. It’s harder to find a good looking respectable, respectful, financially stable man.” - Kamron, 34
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Over the years, there’s been a clear shift in dating and gender roles. Men, who seemingly have more options, have grown accustomed to women putting in more work for a chance at a committed relationship. In this case, Owens feels he’s the prize because Simone Biles led him to believe so by pursuing him from the start, regardless of her all-star status. While he may be a good catch, there was no mention of him seeing his wife as such when asked how he landed the seven-time Olympic champion.
While successful men should be acknowledged for what they’ve worked hard for, it’s important to recognize an amazing woman when they see one. Women who have it all: success, money, and fame can seek a good catch while allowing a man to take the lead in his pursuits of a wife, a lover, and a best friend, which is the ultimate prize.
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Featured image by gruizza/Getty Images
