

The season of love begins with a 1st quarter moon in Taurus inviting us to indulge in our creature comforts. On the 3rd, Mercury transitions into Pisces whisking us off into La La Land. Matters of romance get hot and spicy when Venus moves into Aries on the 7th. Watch out for a clash of egos leading up to the dramatic Full Moon in Leo on the 9th. Mars moving into Capricorn on the 16th reminds you to let your work speak for itself. On the same day, Mercury begins its first retrograde of 2020 which takes place in ethereal Pisces. Once the Sun moves into this mutable zodiac sign on the 18th, it'll be difficult to stay focused on the practical matters. However, the New Moon on the 23rd invites us to find the magic in the mundane.
Check out your cosmic blueprint for the month ahead below:
Aries
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This time of the year begins to slow down for you as much of the inner planets move into Pisces. Your dream world is getting pretty weird when Mercury moves into this part of your sky on the 3rd. However, communication with the spirit world is all the more easy for you during this transit. On the 7th, Venus moves into your sign making you THE hot commodity.
Fortune and favor follows the bold and we all know you have no qualms about shooting your shot.
Around the Full Moon on the 9th, you may finally let your crush know you're interested or debut that creative project you've been working on behind the scenes. Your ruling planet, Mars, moves into Capricorn on the 16th, helping you get ahead in career matters. Just make sure you're not bulldozing your boss over on your way to the top of the ladder. On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde, helping you get clear about whether you're truly ready to part ways with something (or someone) for good. February comes to a close with the Sun and Moon snuggled up in Pisces on the 23rd, inviting you to choose the path of the peaceful warrior. Sometimes surrendering is our wisest course of action. *Cues the "Serenity Prayer"*
Taurus
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The month begins with a cozy quarter moon in your sign on the 1st, making it a good day to do your favorite thing—absolutely nothing (unless you're making time to stuff your face with pizza and wings). On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces, helping you heal any rifts among your social circle. Bring on the good vibes! Your ruling planet, Venus, moves into wild ass Aries on the 7th. You could be attracting a fiery individual into your life or embodying the flame yourself. The Full Moon on the 9th is bringing the family drama to a head, giving you the clear to leave the nest or take some space to yourself. By the 3rd quarter moon on the 15th, the heat cools down, helping you make amends where necessary.
On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn getting you motivated toward your educational goals. What do you need to learn to develop yourself for your long-term goals? Now is the time to create your plan of action. The first Mercury Retrograde of the year begins on the same day, bringing back some old friends, and issues with them, from the past. It's up to you to decide if it's worth reconciling or leaving behind. This is also a good time to breathe some new life into an old vision of yours that is fading away. The month winds down with both the Sun and Moon in Pisces, restoring your hope in your connection to others and the purpose you're meant to serve in this life.
Gemini
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February kicks off with Mercury moving into Pisces on the 3rd, helping you make magic in your chosen career path. On the 7th, the planet of love and money moves into passionate Aries which could have you attracting someone within your social circle. If you've been thinking about promoting someone from the friend zone, now would be a good time to do so. The Full Moon on the 9th helps you clear the air in a dramatic, I mean…a grand, way that really catches someone's attention. Make the best use of social media to take your brand to the next level around this time.
Energetic Mars moves into disciplined Capricorn on the 16th which has you hyper-focused on getting in good standing with financial institutions. It's time to get the credit card spending in check, ma'am. During this transit, you could also be faced with some pent-up aggression, needing a healthy outlet for release. Spending time in nature is beneficial but if it's too cold outside, surround yourself with plenty of plants and crystals. On the same day, Mercury goes retro, giving you a chance to revisit an important conversation about your career progression. The month comes to a sweet close with both the Sun and the Moon coupled up on the 23rd extending a new opportunity to you that feels like a major achievement.
Cancer
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Wanderlust is likely getting the best of you around the 3rd when Mercury moves into mutable Pisces. It's time to plan for that Spring Break trip—preferably before Mercury goes retro on the 18th. No worries if you can't book that flight to Cabo before then! Check out these tips for navigating Mercury Retrograde. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and you could find yourself attracting someone in a position of authority. The Full Moon on the 9th coaxes you out of your shell to shine that beautiful light of yours.
As you reveal your most authentic self, you'll align with the eternal source of wealth.
On the 16th, Mars moves into hardworking Capricorn and you're getting serious about your #relationshipgoals. During this transit, the insufferable "let's just go with the flow" types will likely get blocked. Mercury begins its first retrograde of the year on the same day, giving you a chance to triple-check your travel plans, study for exams, or to just spend some time reconnecting with your Higher Self. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces, marking the last month of the astrological year. February comes to a close with a New Moon on the 23rd inviting you to take a journey inward to find the treasures that lie within the wisdom of your experiences. Just make sure you come back out to share those gems with the rest of us!
Leo
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The month begins with a 1st quarter moon in Taurus. Use this energy to make that last final push towards that thing you need to check off your to-do list. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces which will have convos running deep as you prioritize your more intimate connections during this time. You'll need a soft space to land during this time, so make sure your support system is ready and available. The planet of love moves into fiesty Aries on the 7th and you could meet someone special at school, a seminar, or during your travels. When it comes to money-making ventures, think of ways that you can capitalize on selling information that you're an expert on. Your Full Moon takes place on the 9th and all eyes are on you! This is a good time to celebrate your growth of the seeds you planted six months ago at your New Moon.
Around the 15th, the energy gets chill with the 3rd quarter moon in Scorpio, inviting you to relax and reflect on the journey. On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn, getting your life all the way together. Discipline and routine are your best friends during this transit! This is also a supportive time to work towards those fitness goals. On the same day, Mercury begins its first retrograde of the year, making this a good time to call up your credit lender to work out a payment plan. During this transit, you may also be revisited by some old painful, emotional experiences. Trust that the feels will pass and you're a lot further along in your growth than your memories make it seem. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces and the New Moon follows shortly behind on the 23rd, reminding you of just how powerful you are for the wisdom you gained from some of your most challenging experiences.
Virgo
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Relationships take front and center at the beginning of the month when Mercury moves into Pisces, helping you smooth out any friction within your closest one-on-one connections. Once Venus moves into Aries on the 7th, you could feel like you're playing tug-of-war when it comes to matters of romance. Remember, it's not about being right. It's about being willing to learn and grow with someone (which does involve being wrong sometimes). On the 9th, the Full Moon illuminates a part of your subconscious that's been stifling the vibrancy of your expression.
What wounds do you need to resolve around your inner child to feel more safe in expressing this aspect of yourself?
On the 16th, driven Mars moves into Capricorn, helping you get more serious about your creative interests. It's time to turn those hobbies into new streams of income. When it comes to romance, you're desiring something more solid during this transit. Mercury begins its first retrograde of the year on the same day, making this a great time to revisit any business contracts and agreements that need some fine-tuning. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces heralding in the last season of the astrological year. The month winds down with a New Moon on the 23rd inviting you into a new professional or romantic partnership that is bound to bring more magic into your world.
Libra
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The month begins with you focused on improving your health and well-being. Although structure is usually the way to go about this, Piscean energy makes it a little more difficult to stay focused so opting for more free-flowing activities like dancing or taking a walk can be just what you need to clear your mind and get your blood flow circulating. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries, heating up your love life and helping you attract more of the Type A personalities (if that's your thing). When it comes to money moves, don't be afraid to take the lead! The Full Moon on the 9th invites you to celebrate life with your friends. This is also great energy for a big social media reveal of that project or new merchandise you're dropping.
On the 16th, Mars moves into goal-oriented Capricorn and during this transit you'll be running a tight ship on the home front. This is a good time to work on any long overdue organizational projects. If you've been thinking about long-term investments, it's time to get out there and start hunting for properties. Also, be mindful of pent-up aggression toward your family members, particularly a masculine figure, during this time. On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde, making it a good time to check in with your doctor for your annual exam with your gynecologist. On the 18th, Pisces season officially begins and the month comes to a close with a magical New Moon on the 23rd inviting you to prioritize more emotional healing and balance in your life.
Scorpio
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February begins with a first quarter moon in Taurus on the 1st, creating a little tension between your growing need for space and the demands of others. Opt for a quiet night in and tell everyone else they can wait. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces, granting you the Midas touch when it comes to your creative projects. You've also got the gift of gab when it comes to wooing anyone that you're romantically interested in. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and a sexy workplace romance could be developing. If you want to avoid that drama, opt for the gym or some kind of fitness environment if you're open to meeting someone.
On the 9th, the Full Moon calls for a celebration of a long-awaited career achievement. Mars, the warrior, moves into bossy Capricorn on the 16th and you may be anxious to make a move. A short, weekend getaway would be perfect during this transit. Just make sure to run through your Mercury Retrograde checklist before you hit the road! On the same day, Mercury dips backwards through Pisces to help you make some edits to that creative project you've been toiling away at. On the 18th, the Sun officially enters Pisces and a New Moon follows shortly behind on the 23rd inviting you to embrace more pleasure, adventure, and magic.
Sagittarius
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Home and family matters are your top priorities at the beginning of the month once Mercury moves into Pisces on the 3rd. Conversations about renovating, renting, or buying property are likely. If you're in an established connection, you and your partner could be talking about adding a new addition to your household. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and dating gets fun for you again. You'll be attracting the more adventurous, take-charge types but just be mindful of a clash of the egos especially as we build up to the Full Moon in Leo on the 9th. We all know how much you love a friendly debate but certain conversations just shouldn't be had on the first date, okay, Saggie? Instead of being overly opinionated with your romantic interest, how about blogging about it instead?
On the 16th, Mars moves into disciplined Capricorn, helping you take a slow and steady approach to building wealth for yourself. Now that the holiday season is behind us, it's time to get serious about your financial goals for the year ahead. On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde giving you a chance to revisit a conversation about that house you're interested in closing on or that contractor you want to hire to renovate your kitchen. Pay attention to the details if you're signing any contract during this time. Pisces season officially begins on the 18th when the Sun enters the mutable zodiac sign represented by the fish and the month comes to a close with a sweet New Moon inviting you to plant your roots in something new.
Capricorn
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The 1st quarter moon in your sister sign, Taurus, has you feeling pretty productive right out of the gate in February, especially when it comes to materializing all of those genius creative ideas of yours. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces which will bring an element of sensitivity to your thoughts and communication over the next month. This is a good time to smooth out tension with siblings and to also show your softer side to the world, especially if you're an artist! On the 7th, home and family takes center stage once Venus moves into Aries. Be mindful of short tempers and unnecessary battles with roommates or the landlord.
The Full Moon on the 9th hits you in a vulnerable spot but you'll bravely accept the wake-up call headed your way. On a more practical level, you could be paying off some debt that's been hanging around for a while now. On the 16th, Mars moves into your sign, getting you energized and ready to take charge of your goals. You can be the most productive during this transit so make the most of it. Bear in mind that Mercury does go retro on the same day but for you it's no biggie—get your car maintenanced, back up your hard drive, and maybe take a short social media hiatus if you need it. On the 18th, the Sun moves into Pisces for the next month and it will be meeting the New Moon in the sky on the 23rd, inviting you to set the intentions for a new way of expressing your deepest, most sentimental emotions.
Aquarius
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Family tension could be stirring around the 1st quarter moon in Taurus at the beginning of the month. Choose your battles wisely. On the 3rd, Mercury moves into Pisces bringing the convo to money (magick). You're super in tune with the cosmic flow of abundance, so light up your prosperity candle or send up a prayer to your ancestors for some financial assistance. Love matters get hot and spicy when Venus moves into Aries where she's not so comfortable being. And for you, this placement can result in a bunch of unnecessary arguments with bae. However, if you're single, there should be a few VERY competitive suitors trying to get your attention on dating apps and social media. The Full Moon on the 9th calls for a celebration with a significant person in your life.
On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn helping you work through some unresolved feelings about your personal power. You're a lot more in control than you have previously thought. What will it take for you to embrace a sense of authority and ownership over the trajectory of your life? On the same day, Mercury goes retro for the first time this year, giving you a chance to revisit your budget, or any of those prosperity manifestations, to see what the progress is looking like. This is also a sensitive time in which you may be reminded of some experiences in which your self-esteem wasn't at its best. Remember, self-love is the best love. On the 18th, the Sun enters Pisces and cozies up with the New Moon on the 23rd, inviting you to embark on a new path to establish wealth that is in alignment with purpose.
Pisces
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The month begins with Mercury moving into your sign, making your world all the more mystical and magical than it already is. While everyone else around you will feel like they're in the twilight zone, you'll be the anchor that shows us how to navigate the non-material plane. On the 7th, Venus moves into Aries and you'll attract more wealth by highlighting the qualities that make you a unique individual. It's OK to toot your horn from time to time, babe. The Full Moon on the 9th could reveal a hidden enemy that's jealous of all of the attention you're getting. But like they say, "If you don't have haters, you must not be doing something right."
This energy can also help you recognize how you're being own worst enemy by sabotaging the success (and maybe even the fame) you're meant to experience.
On the 16th, Mars moves into Capricorn, helping you get serious about those big hopes and dreams of yours. It's time to get backed up with right support from an army that has a similar mission as you. What legacy can you and your tribe create together? On the same day, Mercury goes retrograde and you'll likely be revisited by people from the past the most. Forgiveness is always your best bet but allowing someone access to you in the same way is up to your discretion. Your birthday season officially begins on the 18th with the month ending on a sweet note with a beautiful New Moon on the 23rd inviting you to make a wish about the magic you want to experience in your life in the year to come.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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It was the great Sade who once sang that it’s never as good as the first time (if ya know, ya know). And while, truly is a great notion in theory, the reality is, when it comes to having sex for the first time, sometimes we’re so anxious, so nervous, so not-sure-what-to-expect that we end up putting far too much pressure on ourselves and/or our partner and/or the experience overall that we can sabotage it — in some ways, before anything even happens.
Let’s try and prevent that from ever happening again, y’all. One way to do that is to check out 12 hacks that are centered around how to be calmer, feel sexier, and become more present during your (next) first-time copulation — so that you can look back on it with all smiles and not one regret.
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1. Put Some Essential Oil on the Bedding
Doing things, beforehand, that will create the desired mood can already help to calm your nerves; that’s because it reminds you that you are not doing something flippantly or without giving it all some real thought — that what is about to transpire is intentional because you are choosing for it to be and that can be empowering in its own way. That said, if you’ve ever wondered if aromatherapy is more of a myth than anything else, there is science to support that when you take in certain scents, the part of your brain that regulates emotion is alerted and that creates certain responses.
In this case, since you want to decrease stress, it’s a good idea to apply essential oils like lavender, rose, patchouli, jasmine, cedarwood, mandarin, or ylang-ylang to your bedding. They all have a reputation for providing a relaxing effect.
2. Light Some Scented Soy Candles
If you’re thinking, “You sure do shout-out soy candles a lot” — you would be absolutely correct. When they are scented, they smell amazing and, because they are soy, they burn cleaner and longer. Plus, candlelight is soothing and romantic. Definitely, a perfect way to cultivate ambiance is with the help of some candles. By the way, vanilla, cinnamon, sandalwood, pumpkin, and ginger-scented ones are considered to be aphrodisiac ones…and you already know what that means. #wink
3. Pour Some Pure Fruit Juice into Some Wine Glasses
If you were thinking about taking a couple of shots of Casamigos in order to take some of the “edge” off, while it might give you a temporary liquid courage fix and could temporarily increase your sex drive, quite a bit of research states that alcohol can also put you on a bit of a roller coaster ride when it comes to being able to maintain natural lubrication and even being able to orgasm. That’s why you might want to go with some fruit juice instead.
Chuckle if you want to but orange juice increases blood circulation (which can intensify your orgasms), pomegranate juice raises testosterone levels in both men and women and apple juice is a phytoestrogen drink that can help increase lubrication — and you know what they say: the wetter, the better!
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4. Try a Teaspoon of Honey (or Chocolate)
For the record, when it comes to this tip, I’m not talking about those honey packets that are all over social media (check out “Those (Sex) Honey Packets Have A Lot Of Hype. Here’s The Truth About ‘Em.”). I mean, the kind of honey that you get at the grocery store — like the one that is in teddy bear bottles by the jellies (the real ones know). And although I personally think that honey can — eh hem — make the night go better on a few different levels (check out “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), my recommendation for taking in a teaspoon before anything gets started has nothing to do with your libido. Well, not exactly.
You might be surprised to know that honey contains compounds that can help to calm your nervous system as it helps to reduce your anxiety levels. Come to think of it, the flavonoids in dark chocolate can have a similar effect. So, if you want a sweet way to reduce the butterflies, honey and dark chocolate are scientifically proven methods.
5. Watch a Comedy
Sex for the first time is a serious decision — yes. But does the entire evening need to be serious? Absolutely not. In fact, it might surprise you to know that laughter not only reduces anxiety levels, but research also reveals that people who are able to take a joke, can laugh at themselves and like to have fun during intimacy, they end up having far more satisfying sex lives than those who don’t.
So, if what you need is a bit of an icebreaker, watch a funny movie or television show. It can definitely help to take some of the edge off and make you both feel more comfortable with getting even more comfortable in each other’s space later on.
6. (Slow) Dance Together
Listen, any time that I can reference some '90s R&B, I’m gonna do it without any kind of hesitation or apology and, when it comes to this tip, the song that immediately came to mind was Tony! Toni! Toné!’s “Slow Wine.” Dancing close to someone who you’re attracted to while listening to songs that are your fave? That’s automatically a comforting thought (and action). And yes, there is scientific evidence to support that dancing can help to reduce stress while giving you a boost of the feel-good hormone dopamine. So…where’s your slow jam playlist?
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7. Do Some Reflexology or Give Each Other a Hand Massage
If dancing isn’t really your thing, another option is to get into some novice-level reflexology (foot therapy) or to give each other a hand massage. By touching certain parts of the feet, you can reduce anxiety and increase energy levels. One way that this works is reflexology helps to stimulate the production of endorphins so that you can feel less stressed. Same goes with hand massages.
If you’d like to give either of these a shot, warm up a mixture of the essential oil that you used for your bedding with a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) and then take turns rubbing each other’s feet and/or hands. For tips on how to give a good foot massage, go here. A hand massage? Look here.
8. Implement the ‘333 Rule’…with a Twist
If your mind only seems to race, no matter what you do, you can always try what is known as the “333 Rule.” All you need to do is look around and identify three objects, then three sounds, and then move three body parts. Although the method to the madness is still being figured out, it is believed that by taking the focus off of your feelings and briefly placing them onto other things, that can help you to feel less anxious. Hey…you never know until/unless you try. Right?
9. Talk It Out
I’m gonna be really real with you: if you’re too uncomfortable to tell your partner that you’re nervous about having sex with them — why are you planning to have sex with them in the first place? After all, no matter how vulnerable you may feel, nothing tops getting naked with someone and allowing them to enter into your body (just sayin’). That’s why, it’s more than pkay to be open, honest, and genuine about what’s going through your mind before anything ever happens (so long as you are also kind, tactful, and speaking to them in the way that you would like to be spoken to).
In fact, if you need some help “breaking the ice” in this way, consider asking — and answering — the following questions:
- What are you the most concerned or nervous about?
- Do you feel comfortable in this environment?
- What’s your favorite part about foreplay and sex?
- What are your erogenous zones?
- Do you have any particular expectations?
- What’s your biggest turn-on and sex-related pet peeve?
- Is there something new that you’d like to try?
- Should we come up with a safe word?
- Are you a cuddler or nah?
- Do you believe that we’re ready?
Remember, sex is a form of communication, so it’s encouraged to communicate about sex before it transpires. That’s because, the more you know about each other mentally, the easier it will be to enjoy each other…physically/sexually.
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10. Have No Agenda
If you’re going into the evening on some, “And I’m going to be the best that he ever had” or “I already know that this is going to be the best night ever” — no wonder you’re so stressed out. Putting high expectations onto anything, including sex, is a surefire way to end up thinking too hard, trying too hard, or ending up super disappointed. Hmph. Off-topic yet not, I still can’t believe that the people who played on-again-off-again lovebirds Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) and Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty) on the original Beverly Hills, 90210 are no longer with us.
Yet as I was thinking about this tip, something that Dylan said before their first time came to mind: “We’re not going to be judging each other up there. We’re going to be enjoying each other.” And y’all, that is exactly the mindset to have before having sex with someone, in real life, for the first time. If that is not the resolve that the two of you are able to come to? Red flag.
11. Kiss. A LOT.
When it comes to the topic of kissing, there are two things that I’m gonna be quick to say. One is, you can’t just be out here sharing your mouth with any and everybody (check out “Can You Actually Get An STI/STD From Kissing? Yes. And No.”). The second is a kiss? A really good, long, and passionate kiss? Chile, while doing that…bad nerves…where (check out “This Valentine's Day, Get Into Some Really Sexy 'Erotic Kissing'”)???
You can thank science for that too because kissing stimulates the bonding hormone oxytocin, it helps you to decide if you are sexually compatible with someone (no joke and also check out “What Exactly Does It Mean To Be Sexually Compatible?”) and it also produces endorphins that help you to relax and feel really good at the same time.
12. Stay in the Moment
Author Eckhart Tolle once said, “Wherever you are, be there totally.” When it comes to having sex with someone for the first time, if you’re overthinking, you can’t be totally with them. If you’re turning sex into a “performance” instead of an opportunity to simply enjoy the presence of the person you are with, you can’t be totally with them. If you’re worried about the ending before anything has even begun, you can’t be totally with them.
So yes, above all of the other hacks that I’ve mentioned here, determine in your mind to embrace the moment and stay there. If you and your partner go into the experience with this intention, each shared minute of time, taken as they come, can be special, calming, and memorable — just the way a first time should be.
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