Your King Charming Could Be Stuck In The Friend Zone
The curve is real. We are millennial women that know what we want, why we want it, and how we want it done. So when a guys tries to holla we can decide within a matter of seconds to give him a chance to or leave him on "read."
Iman Shumpert revealed recently that he had shot his shot four times before Teyana Taylor let him score, and now she couldn't imagine a life without him. The stylish couple has a new reality show on VH1 Teyana & Iman, chronicling their budding professional lives meanwhile enduring the trials of parenthood while raising their 2-year-old baby girl Junie.
Teyana said that their happily ever after came when she was healing from a very public break-up and was helping long time friend, Iman heal from a recent work-related injury. She told Wendy Williams:
"I played very, very hard to get. I did not like him at first. Because when I first met him, he had just got drafted, he was young, he was doing a lot. I was at a party and he was drunk and he had his shirt off. It was just too much going on baby!"
Later, the couple became friends, which led to a romantic relationship in 2014. In an interview with VH1, Teyana talks about the first time she felt sparks fly between them.
"When you catch butterflies, do you run away from it and get scared and miss out on love? Or do you just follow your gut? What does your gut tell you? And at that moment, I caught butterflies no matter what my feelings were on him five minutes prior, I was in love."
Later, the two found out they were pregnant with a baby girl, Iman proposed, and shortly after, the couple was married in the same bathroom where Teyana gave birth to baby Junie. That is one hell of a love story, and it made me wonder, have I been curving my own 'King Charming'?
Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Roger Dubuis
For me, it takes approximately 10 seconds within meeting a guy to know whether I find him attractive or whether I'm going to blow him off. He literally doesn't even have to open his mouth, I just know. I'm sure it has something to do with pheromones and astrology.
I'm slowly but surely beginning to wake up to the idea that love at first sight just isn't common. Everything that feels good ain't good for me.
We all know a few men in our lives that we refuse to let out of the friend zone, and rightfully so. The ones who are really cool people, but there's just no romantic chemistry. When it ain't there, it just ain't there. Iman Shumpert is proof to all men that if you are steadfast in your pursuit, the fates just might eventually align in your favor.
Keep your curve game strong, but Teyana reminds us to listen to our gut when it comes to matters of the heart.
Make sure you take a look around you and make sure that the man of your dreams isn't trapped in the friend zone, waiting for a text back.
Teyana & Iman premieres on VH1 Monday, March 26 at 9pm ET/PT.
Featured image by Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Roger Dubuis
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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