
Can you believe we've made it to the last month of the year already?! Well, December has a few gifts in store for us before we start the new year.
On the 2nd, Jupiter begins its transit through Capricorn, teaching us the value of hard work and discipline. Mercury moves into optimistic Sagittarius on the 9th, getting us in the holiday spirit with a chatty Full Moon in Gemini following shortly behind on the 12th. Luck favors the bold around the 15th as Jupiter trines Uranus. The planet of love moves into Aquarius on the 20th, placing an emphasis on connecting with like-minded folks that strive to make an impact on the world. The Sun moves into Capricorn on the 21st, followed by the onset of eclipse season with a New Moon on the 26th. It's out with the old and in with the new just in time for the new year.
Check out what's in store for your zodiac sign below:
Aries

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with expansive Jupiter moving into Capricorn where it will be transiting through your career sector for the next year. This time frame requires you to match your big faith with practical efforts that will ultimately have you reaping some major benefits around this time next year. On the 9th, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, putting you in a position to inspire others with the wisdom you have to share. This transit encourages you to go back to school or attend those seminars to flex your brainpower. Now that we're out of the retrograde, this is a perfect time to plan that international getaway as well.
The Full Moon on the 12th is supportive for finalizing and releasing any projects you've been working on behind the scenes. Use this time to also reassess your personal narrative. Around the 15th, good luck may be knocking on your door with a raise or career move that will put you on the map. On the 20th, Venus moves into Aquarius to help you attract the right people to meet your goals. The month winds down with a New Moon solar eclipse on the 26th, inviting you to release your fears about stepping into your personal power. You're a born leader, babe. It's time to show it to the world.
Taurus

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After transiting through Sagittarius for the past year, Jupiter moves into your sister sign on the 2nd, requiring you to get more serious when it comes to your spiritual development. Going back to school, attending seminars, or doing some in-depth research will benefit your quest for greater spiritual awareness. Opportunities to share your wisdom as a teacher will likely present themselves along the way. On the 9th, Mercury moves into truth-seeking (and telling) Sagittarius, making this a good time to book that therapy session or call up that person you consider as your soft place to land.
The Full Moon on the 12th encourages you to take a look at your finances which will require you to reassess your money mindset. Be mindful of the ways you sabotage your earning potential due to scarcity complex. Around the middle of the month, you're invited to embrace your inner genius and act upon the brilliant ideas that are flooding your beautiful mind. On the 20th, Venus moves into Aquarius, helping you attract the right people to help you advance professionally. If the seasonal depression is taking a toll on you, plan that getaway to somewhere warm and sunny. The month ends with a New Moon Solar eclipse on the 26th, inviting you to check in with your higher self to make sure you're still walking your path of purpose.
Gemini

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with Jupiter moving into Capricorn where it will be for the next year, inviting you to take the hero's journey through your psyche. It may not be the easiest energy to deal with but it will teach you the value of showing up to face some of your deepest fears pertaining to matters of intimacy and sexuality. On the 9th, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, stimulating your relationships with more passion, making it a great time to share that vibrant energy of yours with your loved ones. Your Full Moon takes place on the 12th and you're the center of attention (and the drama if you're more worried about being right than simply sharing your thoughts at the holiday gathering).
Around the 15th, a sudden revelation is the catalyst you need to transform your money mindset. Your dreams, along with guidance from your ancestors, are granting you with some amazing ideas to increase your abundance. You may even receive some financial support from an unexpected source. On the 20th, Venus moves into your sister sign and you could be meeting someone in an educational setting or while traveling. An opportunity to share your work could provide some extra holiday cash so don't be afraid to share your unconventional ideas. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 26th encourages you to celebrate the transformation you're in the midst of—regardless of how tough it is. Remember, dahling, it takes pressure to make diamonds.
Cancer

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Over the next year, your close relationships will help you experience the most growth with Jupiter moving into Capricorn on the 2nd. During this transit, you and bae may be tying the knot (or you'll meet that special someone you can do life with). Favorable business connections are also likely under this influence. When Mercury moves into Sagittarius on the 9th, be mindful of what you discuss amongst your coworkers. Err on the side of caution when it comes to expressing your political or religious views. On the 12th, the Full Moon in Gemini helps you get clear on what (and who) needs to be let go before stepping into 2020.
Around the middle of the month, luck favors you thanks to all of your networking efforts. As the saying goes, "It's not what you know. It's who you know." On the 20th, Venus moves into Aquarius, making you a magnet for financial support; thus it's the perfect time to apply for that loan or line of credit. Towards the end of the month, most of the action takes place in Capricorn—your relationship house. They don't call this time of year engagement season for no reason. If romance isn't your top priority, expect for your clientele to expand or to start that new job just in time for the new year. On the 26th, the New Moon Solar eclipse encourages you to seek more balance within new and existing partnerships that will be a part of the legacy you're building together.
Leo

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
After Jupiter spent the last year expanding your creativity, its transit through Capricorn requires you to get more disciplined regarding your daily routines. Practice makes perfect, whether your aim is to transform your physical body, improve your health, or to simply tap into a better rhythm in your day-to-day activities. On the 9th, Mercury moves into Sagittarius to boost your confidence even more while also bringing opportunities for romance into your life. The Full Moon on the 12th makes you the center of attention amongst your friends but what's new to the most popular sign of the zodiac? If you're big into social media, you could go viral around this time.
Around the middle of the month, luck is on your side professionally. The long hours and hard work haven't gone unnoticed. Your inner genius will be activated at this time so make sure to jot down your ideas. On the 20th, Venus moves into Aquarius and partnerships (romantic and business) prosper when there's a like-minded vision that can be accomplished in unison. The Sun moves into Capricorn on the 21st, shortly followed by the New Moon eclipse on the 26th. It's time to examine any bad habits that affect your mental and physical health. Make sure to compartmentalize your inner critic, which has a sneaky way of distracting you from your purpose.
Virgo

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
December begins with Jupiter moving into Capricorn where it'll transit through for the next year, inspiring you to reach new heights in your creativity and self-expression. If you're open to romance, this can also be a good time to start dating again. On the 9th, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, getting you in the spirit to spend time with your family. The Full Moon on the 12th calls for celebration of a long-awaited professional goal. On the same day, Chiron goes direct and you're feeling more empowered to march to the beat of your own drum. There are followers and there are leaders. Trust your abilities, and the temporary discomfort, that comes with paving a new lane.
Around the 15th, a sudden opportunity to share your creation or expertise may present itself. On the 20th, Venus moves into Aquarius and a fellow co-worker could finally shoot their shot (or vice versa). During this transit, you'll be more attracted to people that can keep up with your Mercurial mind. Volunteering at a local organization can also be a great way to meet someone. On the 21st, Capricorn season begins with a New Moon Solar eclipse following behind on the 26th. It's time to wrap up one project to make room for the new creations you're incubating this winter. Make sure to let your inner child out to play these last few days of the year before it's back to business in 2020!
Libra

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month kicks off with Jupiter moving into Capricorn, bringing your focus to family and home over the next year. You may be adding a new addition to your family, buying a home, or investing in real estate during this transit. On the 9th, Mercury spices up your communication, making you a joy to be around given the extra enthusiasm you're experiencing. Be a voice of encouragement to those around you! The Full Moon on the 12th helps you straighten out any immigration or travel affairs. If you're in school, it's finally time to wrap up the semester for a much-needed break (and vacation). A much-needed "aha" moment occurs around the 15th, regarding intimacy blocks that were developed in your childhood.
On the 20th, Venus invites you to do more of what you love whether that's getting back to that creative hobby or allowing yourself to indulge in your fav rom-coms. Capricorn season officially begins on the 21st, encouraging you to connect with your roots. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 26th helps you break free from generational patterns that strip you of your personal autonomy. Once Mercury moves into Capricorn on the 28th, you're ready to move past the mental barriers that inhibit you from living life by your design.
Scorpio

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Over the next year, Jupiter is helping you expand through learning and communication. Some of you may be going back to school or embracing the power of your voice through writing or vlogging. On the 9th, Mercury has you focused on your hustle, making this a good time to profit off of your area of expertise. The Full Moon on the 12th invites you to see some of your most traumatic experiences through a clearer lens. You have the power to transform your pain into something beautiful. Around the 15th, good news from a significant other or business partner has you feeling motivated to keep striving towards your goals.
On the 20th, Venus moves into Aquarius which has you in homebody mode, preferring to spend time with your loved ones in the comfort of your own space discussing the latest trending topics. The Sun officially moves into Capricorn on the 21st with a New Moon Solar eclipse taking place on the 26th. You're encouraged to be mindful of the voice you're projecting out into the world. Your words have more power than you know. Mercury moving into this same part of your chart on the 28th emphasizes the importance of how you communicate which has the potential to place you in a position of greater influence.
Sagittarius

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
After spending the past year in your sign, Jupiter moves into Capricorn to expand your finances and enhance your self-esteem. On the 9th, Mercury moves into your sign, making this a busy time for you. Stay on top of your text messages, emails, and DMs so you don't miss out on those important invitations. The Full Moon on the 12th finalizes a chapter within a key relationship or business agreement so you can make space for something better. Around the 15th, unexpected money may be gifted to you from some work you completed a while ago.
Venus moves into Aquarius on the 20th, making you a magnet for attention on your social media platforms. Online dating is also favorable during this transit as well. If you're not interested in romance, this could be a great time to feel a sense of community amongst your followers or subscribers. Towards the end of the month, most of the action takes place in Capricorn with a New Moon Solar eclipse on the 26th encouraging you to sift through your scarcity complex so you can finally reap the abundance that has your name on it. On the 28th, Mercury helps you get focused on building more long-term security for yourself and your loved ones.
Capricorn

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with Jupiter moving into your sign for the next year, which should be a bit of a reprieve with the pressure of Saturn in your sign. You'll still be required to bust your ass but the rewards will be that much sweeter over the months to come as this transit stretches you in ways your favorite lover could never. On the 9th, Mercury intensifies your dreams while also helping you burn through karmic baggage that needs to be laid to rest before 2020. The Full Moon on the 12th may reveal a hidden enemy in the workspace. Don't fret though. Clearly, you've got something worth hating on.
A sweet, romantic surprise may await you around the 15th. Either that or your creative genius will inspire the next R&B sensation within yourself. On the 20th, Venus helps you attract financial opportunities and connections that are in alignment with your purpose. During this time, a mental connection is top priority for you when it comes to love. The month winds down with the Sun entering your sign (happy birthday!) and a New Moon Solar eclipse inviting you to shed the layers of the old you to embrace the new form that is to come in the new year.
Aquarius

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
December kicks off with Jupiter moving into Capricorn, helping you to expand spiritually over the next year through a more disciplined approach than you may be used to. On the 9th, Mercury has you excited to connect with new and old friends alike during the holiday season. There could even be discussions about how you all can collaborate towards a joint effort or cause. The Full Moon on the 12th invites your inner child out to play. It's time to reveal that creative project or indulge in some wining and dining. Embrace pleasure and allow yourself to get whisked away in adventure, whether it's a short vacay or trying out that wine bar that's been on your list for a while.
Your ancestors may be trying to get through to you around the 15th. Pay attention to your dreams and any synchronicities that remind you of their presence. On the 20th, Venus moves into your sign and all eyes are on you. This is one of the most favorable times of the year for you to receive all of the blessings and abundance you so rightfully deserve. The Sun moves into Capricorn on the 21st and is shortly followed by the New Moon Solar eclipse on the 26th. What are you being called to release? What lessons have you mastered at this point? Karmic closure is available to you as long as you're willing to surrender to the process and embrace the void that will soon be filled with new life.
Pisces

Laci Jordan/xoNecole
After spending the last year in Sagittarius, Jupiter moves into Capricorn on the 2nd, helping you expand your social network and online presence. This transit won't be easy but it will provide you with long-lasting results as long as you stay committed to the vision. On the 9th, Mercury lights the fire beneath your ass, motivating you to boss up professionally. Your superiors are loving your optimistic, go-getter attitude, which makes you a prime candidate for a raise or promotion. The Full Moon on the 12th brings some family drama to the surface for resolution. This could also indicate a time in which you change residence as well.
Around the 15th, you could receive some good news that allows you to share your work on a larger scale. Venus, planet of love and money, draws in some assistance from an unexpected source. Pay close attention to your dreams as they provide insight into beliefs that are blocking your flow of abundance. On the 21st, the Sun moves into Capricorn followed by a New Moon Solar eclipse on the 26th. It's time to ditch the self-sabotaging agenda that keeps you stuck in unfulfilling friendships. Moving into 2020, you'll be connecting with your real tribe that's down to support you and your dreams 100%.
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Someone's Trying To Hook You Up? Ask These 6 Questions First
As we all know, it’s cuffing season. We’re also on the cusp of the holiday season, and that happens to be the time of year when a lot of people get engaged. And that’s why the fall and winter seasons are the times of the year when folks wanna play matchmaker.
And so, sis, if at least one person in your life is currently trying to set you up with someone they know right now — charge it to it being “tis the season” more than anything else. Because let’s be real — folks tend to be more lovey-dovey than ever right about now, and that is usually what inspires them to try to get as many people boo/bae’d up as possible. Chile…CHILE.
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock









