One of the first questions I always ask myself is, "How are you receiving?"
In other words, what I am doing to attract bigger and better things into my life.
In my opinion, abundance doesn't always equate to material possessions. I like to make sure my soul is balanced enough to receive the right people and opportunities. I want to be sure that my mind is clear enough to be receptive to the right channels that are going to help bring an abundance of creativity and ideas to propel me forward career-wise.
I am a feisty one, so I often have to check myself and ask if my attitude is blocking doors or opening up new ones? I think of life being controllable by our actions and our very own thoughts. The Law of Attraction is really real. In fact, it can be a little too real at times. I have so much I wish to achieve, but realized that without certain shifts and changes in my everyday life, I'll have a hard time receiving the blessings I so desperately desire.
The negativity in our lives creates clutter. Eventually, that clutter begins to crowd space, the space you need and no longer have to receive all that you desire. Here's what to focus on to ensure you are creating space in your life for abundance and prosperity in every aspect.
Acknowledge Your Current Blessings
The easiest way to stunt the chances of attracting new blessings is living in expectancy to receiving something new and not being grateful for what you presently have. Living without gratitude is a way to live forever unhappy. If I am always living for the next thing, I am never completely satisfied when it does arrive. Instead, I choose to enjoy being grateful and blessed with what I do have. That is how I attract an abundance of more blessings.
Shift Your Perspective
I live by the motto "Change your mindset, change your life." Your thoughts are really powerful. Often what we think become words that are later regretfully spoken. There is power in the tongue and often our words become reality. I have had terrible habits in the past thinking myself deeper and deeper into a depressive state. I hear all of the time that thoughts are so hard to control when, in reality, if you're centered on positive things 24/7, you'll be fine. How I keep positive thoughts flowing is I pray and talk to God often. I listen to good, upbeat music. I am constantly reading motivational books, articles, quotes, and so much more.
You are what you're influenced by so I am always making sure to surround myself with positive influences.
Change How You Treat Others
There was once a time when I treated everyone how I felt. Not because I am an evil-spirited person, but because it was easier that way. When you're down and out, it almost kills you to see others happy. What we fail to realize is we attract how we react.
Karma is real and what you're putting out into the world is sure to come back to you tenfold. Reevaluating how I conduct myself in the presence of others really changed my life. I focus on how I am treating people daily. What's also important is how we receive news of other people's blessings. When we aren't happy for others, we are leaving room for doors to remain shut on us. Often what you're jealous or envious of is what you want. Does it make sense to hate what you want? If God is blessing them, trust that He's in the neighborhood and blessings are coming your way.
Evaluate How You View/Treat Yourself
If you don't treat and regard yourself as royalty, then how can you expect the same treatment from others?
I once lacked so much love and respect for myself, it was sickening. My terrible treatment towards myself was also the gateway for others to treat me just the same. When you're used to something, it's hard to know when enough is enough of the same harmful mistreatment. We tend to subject ourselves to what we think we deserve, not understanding that we have the power to change it so effortlessly. When I changed how I treated me, I attracted others who valued and respected me just as much as I respected myself.
You are the mirror of the world. There's no way to receive the blessings of quality people who value you if you aren't mirroring the same. Just food for thought.
*Originally published on Amber Janae
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
