Are You A "Bad Forgiver"? Read This And See.
Yeah. I'll be the first to raise my hand in this class and say that forgiveness is a process. What I mean by that is, whether you choose to forgive someone while looking them dead in the eye, while journaling at home or while standing at the foot of an altar, rarely do you say the words, "I forgive you" and, immediately following, everything is fully resolved. Or healed. When you decide to forgive someone via your words, it is basically like making a public declaration that you are going to put yourself on the path to, as the dictionary definitions of the word state— "to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.)"; "to cease to feel resentment against and absolve (to cancel an indebtedness or liability of", or "to set free or release, as from some duty, obligation, or responsibility)".
Pardon. Not resent. Release. Hmph. No wonder so many mental health professionals say that when we choose to forgive a person, it's far more for our benefit than it is for theirs; that to choose (because it is always a choice) to hold onto the fallout of our experiences is holding us back, stressing us out and, according to many reports, even making us sick. No joke. There are studies that reveal unforgivingness can keep you in a state of anger and raise your blood pressure. Unforgivingness can also increase levels of depression and PTSD. Shoot, unforgivingness can even cut your lifespan short. And really, y'all, is holding a grudge really worth all of that?
That's why I wanted to take out a few minutes of your time to first say, if you know there is someone you need to forgive, for your own health and well-being, please consider doing so. And second, if you're reading this and you someone who hurt you, offended you and/or totally pissed you off immediately comes to mind, just to make sure that you're as free from the situation as you may believe that you are. You can do this by going down this checklist of signs that a person isn't as good at forgiving as they might think that they are.
Why Is Forgiving So Hard to Do?
Since most of us know that bestowing forgiveness is essential in life (because none of us is perfect, right?), why is it that so many of us seem to struggle so much with forgiving others? In a good article that I read on the topic, the author brought up three good points. A lot of us don't forgive others because 1) we don't want the "offender" to think that what they did was OK; 2) we don't think that the person who hurt us deserves forgiveness, and/or 3) we don't trust them. Thanks to my own forgiveness journey, what I have learned is, far too often we are hesitant or even afraid to forgive someone because we think that forgiveness and reconciliation are one in the same, when that is not even remotely the case.
You forgive as a way to heal from the hurt or harm that was done to you. You also forgive in order to release yourself from the temptation to keep the cycle of pain going by hurting or harming the other person (or someone else because you are still holding onto unforgivingness).
Reconciliation is another matter entirely. If it is even on the table for discussion, the offender has some work to do in order to restore what has been lost (and if they are truly sorry, they are all for putting the sweat equity in with their words and actions—no question about that). So no, never feel that just because you have forgiven someone that you are invalidating your feelings about the offense or that you have to have the same kind of relationship with them moving forward. Forgiveness isn't designed to make you more vulnerable; it's actually meant to empower you by helping you to let the pain, fear and frustration go.
Now, with all of this out of the way, here are some pretty telling signs that you're not as good at forgiving as you probably need to be.
1. You Don’t Really Ever Let Things Go
Something that I deal with a lot in marriage counseling are people who forgive with their mouths but not necessarily via their actions. What I mean by that is, although one spouse will claim that they've forgiven their partner for something that they've done, the moment they do something else that they don't like, the past issue comes up. It's almost like they hold onto it like a trump card to use in an argument in order to "win" it. Nothing healthy comes out of it because really, who wants to constantly hear about their past missteps and mishaps all of the time?
Say that you are married, your husband misspends some money and it caused a check to bounce. You talk it through and then tell yourself and him that you are willing to let it go. But then he forgets to pay a different bill five months later and you bring his misspending from before up, even though these are the only times in recent history that it has happened. This is a good example of not being able to let things go.
If your man really isn't the best with money, perhaps it's time for you to handle the finances or for you guys to get a financial consultant. But to berate him every time he does something, even though you claim you've forgiven him, means that you actually didn't. Not only that, but the more that you "stockpile" his mistakes, the harder it will be to get past a challenge or problem the next time one comes up.
Interestingly enough, this is one of the reasons why a lot of couples end up divorcing after 20 years of marriage; they never really forgave each other for much of…anything really. And you know what they say—eventually a collection of snowflakes end up turning into a huge avalanche.
2. You Take “Forgive but Don’t Forget” Totally Out of Context
One time, I heard a guy named Cedric Dent say something about forgiveness that I think is pretty good. He used the hypothetical example of him telling someone something in confidence, them turning around and telling other people, and then them ultimately asking for forgiveness for the betrayal. According to Cedric, the best way to handle an instance like that is to forgive the person, but to also not tell them any more secrets for a while. It's not because you are holding things over them; it's actually their actions have shown that they have a weakness when it comes to respecting someone else's privacy.
I think this is the healthy way of applying the old adage "forgive but don't forget". You're not "not forgetting the offense" in order to weaponize the offender with it later up the road. You're using it as a teachable moment so that you can do all that you can to prevent being in a similar situation again. It's not about holding something over a person; it's about making sure that you apply wisdom in the future. No more, no less.
That said, forgiving while not forgetting shouldn't be about not being open to giving someone another chance. It's simply about asking yourself, "What did I learn from this experience?" and then applying it across the board. For instance, if someone revealed one of your secrets, what's the lesson? Perhaps it's something as simple as learning how to vet people better in the future. "Not forgetting" should be more about how the situation can make you better rather than how to make someone feel like they cannot be redeemed for what they have done. If you've truly forgiven them, sometimes they can be—once trust has been restored. It's close to impossible for that to happen if you're holding onto the out of context take of "forgive but don't forget".
3. You Lack Empathy in the Forgiving Process
I remember when I got my first abortion and a "friend" that I went to school with, who was a virgin at the time, told me that I was going to go to hell for it. Fast forward to her having a late period two years later and—surprise, surprise—she was asking me what clinic I went to for my procedure.
Yeah, it can be really easy to think that someone is not worthy of your forgiveness—or forgiveness, in general—when you haven't done anything similar to what they did to you (or you have selective memory when it comes to some of the past things that you have done). But we've all done something that some human, somewhere, would deem "unforgivable". Not only that but, if a lot of us were truly honest with ourselves, the reason why we don't extend the forgiveness is because, on some cryptic level, we want to have some sort of power over the person who offended us.
I can speak from very up close and personal experience that the sooner you bring empathy—" the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings"—into play, the sooner your heart will soften to a situation; any situation, really. Try it.
4. You’re Stuck in the Past
An author by the name of Criss Jami once said, "Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on." Now put a pin in that as we touch on the main points from the article, "8 Signs You Have NOT Forgiven Someone", the author shares some of the following points.
Here's how to tell if you still need to do more forgiveness work. When you:
- Use what the person said or did as a topic of conversation.
- Daydream about getting revenge or some kind of justice. A good example of this is attending your high school reunion and showing them.
- Preoccupy your mind day in and day out either reliving or dwelling on the situation or the person's behaviors.
- Get annoyed if someone even mentions the person.
- Have a tendency to avoid the person.
- Are secretly delighted to hear about the person's current difficulties and losses.
- Strongly believe you have been unfairly treated and are an innocent victim.
- Have friends and family that are tired of talking about the person and the latest drama.
In another article on forgiveness, the author said this:
"…forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life."
Something that a lot of us refuse to acknowledge or accept about forgiveness is that it can keep us mentally, emotionally and relationally stagnant. Here's an example. Back when I was dating my late fiancé, it took for-e-ver to let him fully into my heart and life because my first love had done so much emotional damage. Looking back, I stand amazed by how much my fiancé was able to tolerate me bringing up my ex or sometimes even comparing the two of them. By the time I finally did let my guard down, Damien (my fiancé) died just a few months later.
That's the thing about unforgivingness. In order to remain in that head and heart space, you have to keep thinking and looking backwards. And that is what can prevent you from truly moving forward. Hmph. The real "ouch" about that is while you're still stuck in your past, there's a pretty good chance that your offender…isn't. They are moving right along.
5. You Think That Karma Is YOUR Job
If you hop on Google, put "karma quotes" in the search field and then click on the "images" tab, you'll see a slew of karma references. Two that cracked me up were "Karma's just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She'll be with you shortly" and "In the end, karma will be a bigger bitch than I'll ever need to be". Two that had me like "hmm" were "Karma isn't a bitch, it's a mirror" and "You will never understand the damage you did to someone until it's done to you; that's why I'm here. Signed, Karma." But the quote that all of us should keep in mind as it relates to forgiveness is the one by Dr. Wayne Dyer—"How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours." (Louder for the seats in the back, please.)
Although most of us consider karma to be "what goes around comes around", did you know that another definition of the word is "destiny" or "fate"? I can personally attest to the fact that karma has a way of handling what someone has done (ourselves included) in a way that we couldn't even begin to come up with on our own. Plus, when we let karma do its thing without trying to help it along, we avoid reaping seeds of bitterness, resentment and revenge.
Along these same lines, the Bible tells us that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:6-10). What's really a trip about that Scripture is it doesn't put an expiration date on when that reaping will happen. The warning here is that you only waste time and bring unnecessary drama into your own life if you think it's better to be the "karma bestower" rather than forgiving someone. What's really crazy is, by trying to do karma's job, you keep the vicious cycle going—and usually end up doing further harm to yourself. (Something that unforgiveness knows will happen, by the way.)
Bonus: If You’re a Christian, You Don’t Factor in Just How Much You Need to Forgive
If you're a Christian (or you're simply someone who tries to apply biblical Scripture to your life as much as possible), I think it's imperative that I end this article on forgiveness on a particular note. Matthew 6:14-15(NKJV) tells us, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
What this basically means that in order to be forgiven by God, we need to forgive those around us. It's a Scripture that actually keeps me pretty humble because it reminds me that just like I need to forgive others for what they've done, there is stuff that I do that I need to be forgiven by the Most High for; that nothing should keep me from wanting to live a free and forgiven life so that, at the very least, I can spiritually thrive as an individual.
True forgiveness ain't easy. Not by a long shot. But if you really want to evolve and heal as an individual, it's important that you do it. Not the "bad way" (you know, saying that you do even if you don't really mean it); the right way. Hopefully this article helped to point you in the direction of just that.
Forgive. So that your karma will bring forgiveness unto you. Amen. So be it, sis.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How I Learned To Forgive People In My Life That Weren't Sorry
Jada Pinkett Smith Reminds Us Forgiveness Isn't About The Other Person
Why I Don't "Cut People Off" Anymore, I Release Them Instead
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- Why You Don't Always Have to Forgive | Psychology Today ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
For years, studying
zodiac sign compatibility has been a fascinating journey for those who want to understand the dynamics of their relationships better. Between the first date debates of Cheesecake Factory vs. coffee shops, we truly understand that sometimes looking to a higher power to guide you on who to date sounds like a good idea. So, it is no surprise that people often turn to Astrology to gain insights into their compatibility with others.
Since no one covers dating, love and relationships, and sex as we do at xoNecole, this guide will delve into the intriguing world of zodiac sign compatibility. Here is everything you want to know about how each sign interacts with others, how the planets impact compatibility and what are the most and least compatible zodiac signs.
Zodiac Compatibility Chart
(March 21-April 19) | (April 20-May 20) | (May 21-June 20) |
(June 21-July 22) | (July 23-August 22) | (August 23-September 22) |
(September 23-October 22) | (October 23-November 21) | (November 22-December 21) |
(December 22-January 19) | (January 20-February 18) | (February 19-March 20) |
Table of Contents
- The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
- Cusp Signs and Compatibility
- What Makes Someone's Zodiac Sign Compatible
- Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
- The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Love Matches by Sun Sign
- Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Opposite Signs and Compatibility
- Conclusion
The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
But there is more to zodiac compatibility than just your sign. Even if you are slightly into Astrology, you’ve heard of the sun, moon, and rising signs. This is also called the "Big Three" referring to the three essential components of an individual's birth chart.
These components provide insights into their personality, emotions, and outward demeanor. Together, they offer a comprehensive view of a person's astrological profile, shedding light on various aspects of their life and character.
Evheniia Vasylenko
The Sun Sign
Key Characteristics:
- Represents the core of one's identity
- Governs one's ego, basic personality, and life purpose
- Determines one's zodiac sign (e.g., Aries, Taurus, Gemini, etc.)
- Reflects the conscious self and how one expresses themselves
Your sun sign is the most well-known aspect of your Astrology chart. It represents the essence of your being, your fundamental motivations, and your core personality traits. When people ask, "What's your sign?" they usually refer to your sun sign.
- Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
- Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
- Leo (July 23 - August 22)
- Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
- Libra (September 23 - October 22)
- Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
- Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
- Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
- Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
- Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
For example, if your sun sign is Leo, you will likely exhibit traits associated with Leo, such as confidence, creativity, and a natural flair for leadership. Your sun sign is like the spotlight that shines on your outer self, revealing who you are to the world.
Astro expert Avalldar Astrology says, "For many people, the Sun will not necessarily be the most influential placement when it comes to romantic compatibility, precisely because we have entire charts that we need to look at in order to see all the dynamics at play between all the planets."
The Moon Sign
Key Characteristics:
- Represents one's emotional nature, instincts, and subconscious mind
- Governs emotional reactions, feelings, and inner desires
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the Moon's position at birth
- Reflects the inner, emotional self and how one processes emotions
While the sun sign represents your conscious self, the moon sign delves into your emotional world. It provides insights into your innermost feelings, reactions, and instincts. Your moon sign influences how you respond emotionally to various situations and process your inner world.
For example, if your moon sign is Cancer, you may be deeply sensitive, nurturing, and strongly connected to your family. Your moon sign can reveal why you react emotionally in specific ways and what brings you emotional fulfillment.
The Rising Sign (Ascendant)
Key Characteristics:
- Represents the mask or persona you present to the world
- Governs your outward behavior, first impressions, and physical appearance
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the position of the Ascendant at birth
- Reflects the way you interact with the world and your immediate environment
The rising sign, also known as the Ascendant, is the sign that was on the horizon at the exact time of your birth. It represents the image or facade you project to others, your first impression, and your approach to the world. It's often described as the "mask" you wear in public.
For instance, if your rising sign is Virgo, you may come across as organized, detail-oriented, and practical when you meet new people. Your rising sign influences your appearance and how you present yourself.
Cusp Signs and Compatibility
Now let’s explore more about cusp signs and what that means for your compatibility. Cusp signs occur when an individual's sun sign is near the beginning or end of a zodiac sign, resulting in a blend of characteristics from both signs. Think Cancer (June 21 - July 22) sign born right at the end of the zodiac date of July 22.
For example, if someone is born on March 21, their sun sign would be Aries, but they are on the cusp of Pisces and Aries because the zodiac sign changes from Pisces to Aries on or around March 20. As a result, cusp individuals often exhibit traits from both adjacent signs.
When it comes to cusp signs, compatibility can be as intricate as the sun, moon, and rising signs. A few things to consider when thinking about dating someone who is on the cusp are shared traits, open communication, and individual variability. Effective communication is vital in any relationship. Cusp individuals may benefit from openly discussing their unique blend of traits with potential partners to foster understanding and avoid misunderstandings.
What Makes Someone’s Zodiac Sign Compatible?
First, know there are so many different types of Astrology, and different astrologers use different combinations, formulas, and theories to draw their conclusions for compatibility. In general, zodiac sign compatibility is the idea that particular signs are naturally more compatible due to their shared traits, while others may clash.
However, one way to get a better sense of compatibility, at least outside of the zodiac signs, is by examining the elements (fire, earth, air, water), modality ( cardinal, fixed, mutable), and extensively, aspects (conjunctions, trine, squares, and sextiles extensively).
Sounds confusing? We know, so let us explain.
The Elements of the Zodiac: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water
There are four elements in Astrology: fire, earth, air, and water. Signs of the same element often share common characteristics and are more likely to get along.
While signs within the same element tend to have good compatibility, there can also be strong connections between signs from complementary elements. For example, fire and air signs often get along well due to their shared enthusiasm and communication skills. Similarly, earth and water signs can form deep emotional bonds.
Zodiac Compatibility in Sex and Friendship
Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Characteristics and Qualities: Fire signs are known for their passion and energy while also being adventurous and impulsive.
Sex Compatibility: Due to that passion and energy, when two fire signs come together, their sexual connection can be intense and filled with excitement.
Friendship Compatibility: Their enthusiasm and energy will continue to drive the enjoyment of adventurous and dynamic friendships with fellow fire signs.
Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Characteristics and Qualities:Earth signs are typically grounded and practical and are characterized as patient and reliable.
Sex Compatibility: Earth signs are sensual and grounded. They appreciate physical touch and connection. Physical intimacy tends to be fulfilling and harmonious in relationships between earth signs. A Taurus is focused on pleasure, and a Virgo is focused on pleasing, so this is a good match for both of them.
Friendship Compatibility: Earth signs value stability and practicality. They tend to form grounded and dependable friendships with other earth signs.
Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.
Characteristics and Qualities: Often described as intellectual, communicative, social, and flexible.
Sex Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy mental stimulation. For them, communication is a key aspect of sexual compatibility. When two air signs connect, their mental rapport can enhance their sexual experiences.
Friendship Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy stimulating conversations. They often have intellectually engaging friendships with fellow air signs
Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.
Characteristics and Qualities: Water signs are emotional, intuitive, empathetic, and sensitive.
Sex Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They seek deep emotional connections in their relationships, which can translate into profoundly satisfying sexual experiences when two water signs come together.
Friendship Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They tend to form deep and empathetic connections in their friendships with other water signs.
Quality aka Modalities
To take it a step further, let’s explore quality. Also known as modality, this refers to the mode of operation or the primary style of a zodiac sign. Each sign is categorized into one of three modalities: cardinal, fixed, or mutable, which describe the sign's general approach to life and how it interacts with the world.
- Cardinal Signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn): If your sign is cardinal, you're likely seen as a natural leader or initiator. You're often the person who starts projects, comes up with new ideas, and leads others towards a goal. You're dynamic and proactive but might need help with following through as you're always looking toward the next big thing.
- Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): Being a fixed sign means you're seen as stable, reliable, and persistent. You're the person who sees things through to the end, displaying remarkable resilience and determination. You excel in maintaining and nurturing projects or relationships but may sometimes be perceived as stubborn or resistant to change.
- Mutable Signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces): If you're a mutable sign, adaptability is your forte. You're flexible and versatile, able to adjust to new situations with ease. You're the person who can go with the flow and make the best out of changing circumstances. However, this can also mean you might find it hard to stick to decisions or be seen as inconsistent.
Aspects
Aspects in Astrology are about the angles formed between planets in your birth chart, reflecting the interactions between different parts of your personality. These aspects can be harmonious or challenging, shaping your character and life experiences.
- Conjunctions (0 degrees): When two planets align closely, their energies merge and intensify, creating a focal point of power or tension in a birth chart. This can be harmonious or challenging, depending on the planets involved.
- Squares (90 degrees): Representing challenges and obstacles, squares force us out of our comfort zone, propelling us towards growth through struggle and resistance. This also indicates challenges or internal conflicts and learning through overcoming obstacles.
- Trines (120 degrees): The trine is a flow of energy that brings ease and harmony, highlighting natural talents and facilitating effortless success in the areas affected. This aspect often reflects your talents or areas where you succeed with little effort.
Examples include Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius ( fire signs), as we mentioned above, so it comes as no surprise these signs are compatible.
- Sextiles (60 degrees): The aspect is when the planets are about two planets apart. This harmonious angle can be opportunities presenting chances for growth and learning. They require some effort to utilize but generally support your progress.
For example just to name a few, Aries sextiles Gemini and Aquarius. Taurus sextiles Cancer and Pisces. Gemini sextiles Aries and Leo. And Cancer sextiles Taurus and Virgo.
- Oppositions (180 degrees): Have you ever heard of the phrase opposites attract? Here, planets sit across from each other, creating a tug-of-war effect that can lead to tension but can also lead to significant personal growth through understanding opposing viewpoints. This aspect shows tension or conflicting interests, bringing out the need for balance and compromise.
Overall, understanding these concepts can offer a more nuanced view of your zodiac sign, revealing strengths, weaknesses, and potential growth areas. It can help you understand why you might gravitate towards certain behaviors or patterns in life and how you can use this knowledge for personal development and better relationships with others.
Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
So, what do the planets have to do with compatibility among zodiac signs? As we mentioned, a harmonious aspect (like a trine or sextile) between these planets in two individuals' birth charts can indicate strong compatibility, while challenging aspects (like squares or oppositions) might point to areas of growth, tension, or conflict.
The Sun- the very essence of our being. In relationships, it reflects our basic personality, our ego, and our core identity. When sun signs are compatible, it often indicates a natural understanding and appreciation of each other's fundamental nature, a key ingredient for lasting connections.
Sign it governs: Leo
The Moon- the realm of emotions, instincts, and the subconscious. Moon sign compatibility delves deeper, beyond the surface level of interactions, touching the heart of our emotional needs and nurturing instincts. A harmonious moon sign connection can mean a deeply satisfying emotional rapport and understanding, a feeling of "coming home" when you're with your partner.
Sign it governs: Cancer
Mercury- the planet of communication. Mercury’s influence dictates how we think and communicate, which is essential in understanding and resolving conflicts in relationships. Compatible Mercury signs often find a natural flow in conversation, understanding each other's thought processes and perspectives with ease.
Sign it governs: Gemini and Virgo
Venus - the goddess of love and beauty, representing how we express love and what we seek in relationships. Venus sign compatibility is a key player in romantic attraction and shared values in love, dictating the harmony in how love is given and received.
Signs it governs: Taurus and Libra
Mars - the planet of action and desire. Mars influences our drive, our passions, and, yes, our sexual energy. Compatible Mars signs can lead to a fiery and dynamic connection, full of passion and vitality.
Sign it governs: Aries
Jupiter - the planet of luck and expansion. Jupiter's influence in a relationship can signify growth, optimism, and a sense of adventure, bringing a joyous and expanding quality to the bond.
Sign it governs: Sagittarius
Saturn - the teacher, representing discipline, responsibility, and long-term commitments. Saturn's role in compatibility is often about the durability and seriousness of the relationship, ensuring that the bond is not just fleeting passion but has the strength to endure challenges.
Sign it governs: Capricorn
The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
1. Leo and Libra
When Leo and Libra are together, they are almost always the center of attention! With Leo being ruled by the Sun, they know how to satisfy the Libra's desire to be appreciated and reassured. With Libra being ruled by Venus, they know how to shower Leo with the love and attention that they deserve. Both Leo and Libra know how to bring out each other's true star power and help each other grow into their best selves.
2. Scorpio and Pisces
The watery pair of Scorpio and Pisces just instantly understand each other. Although not many others can match Scorpio's intense and passionate energy, Pisces is almost always up for the task! These two are able to be truly vulnerable with each other and appreciate the depth of their connection. Pisces' intuitive side always knows how to break through Scorpio's barriers and immediately knows how to comfort them. Scorpio challenges Pisces to take a walk on the wild side; Pisces encourages Scorpio to be themselves.
3. Aquarius and Sagittarius
Aquarius and Sagittarius never have a dull moment with each other! Sagittarians are always in pursuit of knowledge and live for adventure. Aquarians love to discover the most unique subjects and are always down for a good debate. This pair knows how to mentally stimulate each other. Although they both value their independence, they know how to effectively divide and conquer. They both enjoy learning from each other and helping each other explore new territories.
4. Taurus and Cancer
With Cancer's protective nature and Taurus' romantic tendencies, these two are one of the most loving couples ever! Tauruses help Cancers to ground themselves and provide them with the comfort and stability that they crave. Cancers help Tauruses get comfortable with expressing their emotional sides and make them feel appreciated. This couple is the epitome of the phrase, "Home is where the heart is." They truly understand how to make the other feel at peace and how to cater to each other's love languages.
5. Virgo and Capricorn
Virgo and Capricorn are the power couple of the zodiac! These two earth signs know how to get things done when they are together and can truly motivate each other. They both want to see each other win and will supply each other with the encouragement that they need. Virgo and Capricorn almost instantly bond over their witty sense of humor and their intellect. Virgo shows Capricorn how to appreciate the small things in life; Capricorn shows Virgo how to see the bigger picture from a new perspective.
6. Aries and Gemini
When Aries and Gemini are together, the conversation almost never stops! These two know how to keep things going and will always be the life of the party. The passion between these two signs is almost unmatched! Aries knows how to perfectly capture Gemini's attention and keep the relationship fresh. The Gemini values all of the Aries' complexities and knows exactly how to keep their fire alive. Gemini teaches Aries that life does not have to always be so serious. Even as a couple, these two are genuinely the best of friends!
Love Matches by Each Sun Sign
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Best Matches: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Aquarius, Libra
Read More: Aries Woman And Aquarius Man Love Compatibility
Read More: The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Best Matches: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Pisces, Scorpio
Read More: Pisces Woman And Taurus Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Watch This Taurus & Capricorn Love Match Put Their Relationship To The Compatibility Test
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Best Matches: Libra, Aquarius, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Read More: Gemini Woman And Leo Man Love Compatibility
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Best Matches: Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Read More: Cancer Woman And Virgo Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Cancer Man And Libra Woman Love Compatibility
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Best Matches: Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Read More: Leo Woman And Capricorn Man Love Compatibility
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Best Matches: Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Read More: The Love Compatibility Of A Virgo Woman And Scorpio Man
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Best Matches: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo
Good Matches: Aries, Sagittarius
Read More: Pisces Woman And Libra Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Libra Man And Cancer Woman Love Compatibility
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Best Matches: Cancer, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Read More: Scorpio Woman And Aries Man Love Compatibility
Read More: The Love Compatibility Between A Scorpio Woman And A Cancer Man
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Best Matches: Aries, Leo, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Read More: The Love Compatibility Between A Sagittarius Woman And Leo Man
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Best Matches: Gemini, Libra, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Best Matches: Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
So you’ve read all about how you should analyze which zodiac sign is the most compatible for you. But what about signs you should avoid? For these, not only do the zodiacs come into play, but also the elements and modalities of each. Here are the least compatible zodiac signs.
1. Sagittarius and Taurus
Sagittarius and Taurus incompatibility is more obvious than most matches on this list. Sagittarius wants to be on a plane, and Taurus wants to be at home. Taurus wants tangible results, and Sagittarius finds happiness in exploring the mind and different ideals. This pairing isn’t the most compatible because they both want very different things in life, not to mention they are always at a different pace.
2. Scorpio and Gemini
Scorpio and Gemini together create chaos. Although they have a lot of fun together, this pairing is better off seen in a working environment, rather than a romantic one. The thing about Scorpio and Gemini is that they don’t get each other. It’s hard to understand where the other person is coming from, which often leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings between them.
3. Aquarius and Cancer
Aquarius and Cancer rarely get involved romantically together, as this pairing does better in a friendship than a relationship. Cancer can seem like too much for aloof Aquarius, and Aquarius can be too in their head for Cancer’s heart-centered, emotional energy. Cancer tends to be intrigued by Aquarius. However, the relationship is usually one-sided. Cancer will often feel like they are giving their all, but that is never enough for Aquarius, who may acknowledge Cancer’s efforts, but at the end of the day, it’s not what Aquarius needs to feel fulfilled romantically.
4. Capricorn and Leo
Capricorn and Leo have too many power struggles and ego conflicts in order to make the relationship peaceful and positive. Disagreements often arise within this partnership, and they have to work especially hard for the relationship to progress and grow. The thing about this couple is that Leo wants to be adored and cherished, and Capricorn isn’t about the theatrics.
Capricorn likes to take things slow and gradually evolve as a couple, whereas if Leo isn’t getting everything they need right away, they will feel let down and unloved. In order for this partnership to work, there needs to be compromise and honesty about what is expected within the relationship.
5. Libra and Virgo
Now, this pairing is on the list of least compatible because they are constantly questioning where each other stands and are rarely on the same page. This isn’t a complete disaster for a relationship, but it’s definitely not the top recommended either. The thing about Libra is that they don’t really get Virgo and Virgo’s meticulous thought process. Virgo feels the same way about Libra and thinks they spend too much time on things that aren’t as important to Virgo.
Communication can be good here as they are both more mentally active signs. However, Libra tends to be someone that Virgo never seems to fully grasp. They are both nurturing individuals, but in a relationship, they tend to feel like they aren’t getting what they need.
Opposite Signs and Compatibility aka Sister Signs
Ever wondered why you are attracted to someone completely opposite then you? This can be explained by the term sister signs. A sister sign is the zodiac sign located in the exact opposite position of your sign on the zodiac wheel. The relationship between opposite signs can be either soulmate energy or very challenging if both parties aren’t willing to look at their reflection and learn from each other.
Evheniia Vasylenko
The sister signs in Astrology are:
- Aries and Libra
- Taurus and Scorpio
- Gemini and Sagittarius
- Cancer and Capricorn
- Leo and Aquarius
- Virgo and Pisces
For example, with a Gemini, this pairing is all about having fun and expressing themselves. Gemini and Sagittarius, in many other pairings, often feel misunderstood, but these two match energy. Being both explorers of life, Gemini’s inner curiosity and Sagittarius’ need to know more make for not only good conversation but exciting experiences together as well.
Is An “Incompatible” Relationship Based on Zodiac Signs Doomed?
It's a myth that certain zodiac signs are destined to be incompatible. While your natal chart might reveal challenging dynamics, it doesn't dictate the success or failure of a relationship. Instead, it provides insights into areas where you might need to exert more effort or make adaptations. Understanding this can help you navigate relationships more effectively, regardless of astrological compatibility.
Rather than viewing your chart solely for compatibility, use it as a tool for deeper self-understanding. Focusing on planets like Venus, Jupiter, or the Moon can reveal key aspects of how you seek emotional comfort and express love.
For instance, the Moon's placement can indicate your emotional needs and comforts, while Venus may reveal how you prefer to give and receive love. Jupiter, on the other hand, sheds light on the ways you feel most comfortable in providing for your partner. Recognizing these aspects can help couples understand their values and find common ground.
Conclusion
While astrology can provide valuable insights into potential compatibility, it's essential to remember that real relationships are complex and multifaceted. Finding your cosmic match is not solely determined by your zodiac sign but by shared values, communication, and understanding. Embrace the uniqueness of your relationships, and let the stars be a guiding light rather than a strict rule.
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- What You Really Need To Know About Compatibility Based On Zodiac Signs ›
Paula Patton Debuts Her New Love & Shares The Book That Helped Her "Call In" The One
Paula Patton has found love again.
The 48-year-old actress broke the news of her newfound love this past Valentine's Day on Instagram through an Instagram Reel of photos of the couple. The lucky man is former tennis player Prakash Amritraj, and in her caption honoring the day of love by debuting her beau in such a public way, Paula got real about her journey to "calling in" love after divorce.
In her caption, she shared that it was a year ago, on February 14, 2023, when she received a book that turned out to be divine alignment. The book titled Calling in 'The One': How to Attract the Love of Your Life in 7 Weeks arrived on Valentine's Day, and she recalled seeing it as a "sign" that it arrived in the mail on that day of all days.
After her high-profile relationship with Robin Thicke that ended in divorce after 21 years together, Paula shared that she had experienced years of being single. Opening the book might have been inspired by her desire for romantic love at the time, but what she found through reading it ended up being so much more.
"I had been single for a very long time and couldn’t remember the last time I had a Valentine, so I decided to begin reading it that day and do all the work the book suggested," she wrote in her caption. "It was an incredible journey of self-discovery where I called in myself and changed the wiring in my brain and the genetic patterns blocking me."
The book Paula read came with the promise of attracting the love of your life in 7 weeks, and while the Just Wright star said that wasn't her story, she did share that reading the book helped her call in to her life "better relationships with friends, work partnerships, and myself."
"And then it happened: I met Prakash, and today, a year later, I am celebrating Valentine’s Day with my love!" she wrote. "Prakash, you are a magnificent man with tremendous integrity. Life is full of laughter and joy with you! You are one of my greatest blessings! You take me on adventures and make me feel safe. You have my back, and I have yours. I love you."
Paula's new lease on life and love unfolded at a rich time during Paula's self-discovery journey to wholeness. After spending much of her life with her ex-husband, starting when the pair were just teenagers, the two formally split in 2014, with Paula alleging that there was infidelity and abuse, which led to an intense custody battle over the son the former couple share.
In a 2016 interview with Essence Live!, Paula spoke about her mixed emotions around being newly single but also how "freeing" it felt to be alone post-divorce. "It’s really nice, honestly, getting used to being alone. It’s freeing, it’s scary at the beginning. It’s really scary. But it’s something I’m coming to embrace and knowing that that’s really what it is now: learning to love yourself, enjoying your time with your friends, your family, and then it will sort itself out.”
Heartbreak isn't easy to navigate, and neither is starting over. Shout out to Paula for putting herself first and, in the end, being able to call into her life a love that is worthy of her love.
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