As we’ve entered a new year, it’s time to shed the burdens of the past and prepare for a new chapter in our lives. For me, this season of my life is about allowing - letting go of the baggage of the past and all anxiety about the future. We often hear about “detachment” in the context of “not caring” and being cold and unfeeling, but the art of detachment is about something much deeper and much more liberating than becoming immune to our emotions.
The true beauty in detachment is finding agency in our response to external events, circumstances, and people and allowing the things we truly desire to easily come into our lives.
We’re only here to experience other people - not control them.
It can be hard to let go of that friendship or relationship we wanted so badly, but the truth is, we can’t control other people. Whether they leave us or do us wrong is up to them. We only have control over our responses to those experiences. We’re only here to experience each other and enjoy things while they’re fun or good for us. Mastering how to move on once that experience is over makes difficult situations much easier to navigate. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, but this shift in mindset will save you some heartache.
What you hold onto too tightly, you will lose.
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Have you ever noticed how when you stop waiting for that text or checking for that email and move on with your day, that’s when you receive it? Have you ever had a fleeting thought about someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, and they reach out soon after? My favorite example is one I’m sure we’ve all experienced - the minute you get over your ex that’s when they come crawling back. These are all examples of the art of detachment or “allowing.”
When we detach from, or let go of, the outcome, it speeds up our manifestations. Law of Attraction Coach, Abraham Hicks, calls it “flowing downstream” or “allowing.” Imagine the effort it would take to swim upstream vs. downstream or trying to hold a cork underwater vs. allowing it to float on top of the water.
Focus on what you can control.
As the perfectly flawed beings that we are, we feel like we need to control everything in our lives. The idea of letting go can be frightening, but I challenge you to change your perspective on this and see it as liberating instead. Think about how heavy a burden it is to try to orchestrate our every experience. Wouldn’t it be far easier to focus only on the things you can control? This doesn’t mean pretending not to care when you’re hurt, rejected, or betrayed. It means focusing on how you respond to those situations and taking charge of the good-feeling things you can do for yourself.
You can work on your self-confidence by taking on challenging new hobbies or going to the gym. You can work on finding new love by going to events or participating in activities you enjoy with new people. You can find a better job by updating your resume, expanding your network, and refining your skills. By focusing on the things you can control, you open yourself up for more joy to come into your life.
There is only the present.
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You’ve probably heard the saying “all we have is now.” We only ever have the present moment and staying present releases us from the ties of the past and the pull of the future. When we let go of our past hurt and future anxieties and choose to focus on what we can control - the here and now - we allow ourselves to truly romanticize our lives and take each moment as it comes. And, after all, that’s the point, right? As Abraham Hicks teaches, the purpose of life is joy and the result is growth.
What are you trying to let go of? Let me know in the comments.
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Fall is upon us, and just as the trees shed their old leaves and prepare for a new season of growth, it’s a good time to let go of our old ways of thinking and embrace new perspectives. So, we’ve all been there - the job that chose another candidate, the partner who decided it’s time to see other people, the business you couldn’t quite get off the ground, the application that got denied. Sound familiar?
Life often unfolds in mysterious ways, filled with twists, turns, and unexpected detours. As women, we navigate a world that can sometimes feel like it's working against us. But what if I told you that everything that happens to us, every "no" and every roadblock, is simply a part of our divine path?
What's Meant For You Can't Miss You
Have you ever been told, "What's meant for you, can't miss you?" It's a powerful mantra to hold onto when life takes an unexpected turn. In the midst of redirection, it’s hard to believe it - trust me, I know. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes. But if we get to choose our thoughts and our feelings - and we do - why not choose to believe that things are unfolding for us in the best possible way?
When One Door Closes…
One of the most profound shifts in mindset I’ve made in recent years is to see rejection as divine redirection. Instead of viewing a "no" as a door slamming shut, consider it the Universe guiding you toward a different, more aligned path. “Another door opens”.
Think about the times when you were denied something, only to later realize that what you thought you wanted wasn't what you truly needed or perhaps even wanted. The job you didn’t get but led to you getting a better one, the ex who broke your heart, but then you met someone who loved you better than they ever did. Those moments of redirection often lead us to more fulfilling opportunities, healthier relationships, and a deeper understanding of ourselves.
The “Slippery Fish” Concept
One of my favorite podcasts, “Big Conversations” by Hayley Hoffman-Smith, helped change my perspective on rejection. She told the story about a “slippery fish.” It was the story of a fisherman who couldn’t catch any of the big fish around his boat; it was like they were slipping through his fingers. He became frustrated and discouraged, but what he couldn’t see was that the fish were poisonous. What if all our redirections are just “slippery fish?” Doesn’t that feel good to consider?
Trust That Things Are Unfolding For Your Highest Good
Picture this: every experience, every encounter, and every rejection is a thread weaving the intricate tapestry of your life. Your destiny is not a linear path but a beautifully complex mosaic that comes together over time. Instead of viewing rejection as a failure or the result of a personal flaw, see it as a redirection toward something better suited for your unique journey. When you shift your perspective in this way, you release the emotional weight that rejection often carries.
Consider your redirection as a filter, allowing only the most aligned opportunities and relationships to enter your life. It's the Universe's way of saying, "Not this, love. Something greater awaits you." Reframe the way you view every redirection and consider them a stepping stone, leading you closer to your destiny.
I’ll leave you with my favorite affirmation/mantra: “This or something better.” When you don’t get something you want, remind yourself that if you don’t get “this,” you’ll get “something better” because things are always unfolding for your highest good.
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