How Each Of The Zodiac Signs Get Over A Break-Up
Have you ever wondered how some people tend to get over breakups easily, and others have more of a difficult time? The zodiac signs are always telling a story, and the story of love is written in the stars. Some signs naturally follow their emotions more and live by the heart. Other signs focus on balancing their head with their heart and can rationalize this type of change in their life, such as a breakup. People get over breakups in their own way and in their own time, but wouldn’t it be nice to understand more about how you process this experience yourself, or how someone you know or have been involved with gets over a breakup?
The Zodiac Signs After a Breakup
Mutable signs such as Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces are the type of people to go with the flow and adapt to change more than most. Even if they are emotionally still tied to someone or feel that energy within, the overall change of pace and environment will not be that difficult for them to move through and they will change their life pretty quickly post-breakup. A fixed sign, however, such as Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius prefer stability over change and will take some time readjusting their world and their focus. This can often lead them to spend too much time in relationships that they should let go of, but they eventually figure it out as well.
Looking at your sun sign and Venus sign can give you more clarity as to how you get over a breakup and move on.
How an Aries Gets Over a Breakup
Aries gets over a breakup by moving on immediately. It takes a long time for Aries to finally call it quits but once they are emotionally not in it anymore, they will move on no questions asked. They will do things like changing their entire daily routine just to avoid even thinking about a break-up or the person that is no longer in their life anymore. An Aries bounce-back game is strong and they are always looking for the next challenge, making them people who can more easily have a better life all around after a breakup. Aries is also the friend you want to call if you have just gone through a breakup as they will be that friend that reminds you who you are and that you deserve better.
How a Taurus Gets Over a Breakup
Taurus takes their time getting into relationships and also takes their time getting out of them. Taurus values commitment, loyalty, and stability over anything else, and going through a breakup is usually very life-changing for them. A Taurus needs time to process their emotional world and they might not let anyone in emotionally for a while. Indulgence is part of their post-breakup strategy and you can typically find them either on the couch watching romcoms, having a spa day and treating themselves, or spending time with friends and close loved ones. They may not indulge in anything too serious for a while, but they will be hitting up a crush or two.
How a Gemini Gets Over a Breakup
A Gemini can move on faster from a break-up than most of the zodiac. Their attention span isn’t long enough to dwell in misery and they would rather be in a new experience than sulking about an old one. Gemini is the type to be more likely to do something physically dramatic after a break up like dye their hair, change their career, or move cities, than spend a day sad over a breakup. You could find a Gemini circling around again, however, as Gemini is the type to text an ex if they feel like it because they quite literally don’t care about appearances. If they think it, they feel it, and they often are more impulsive in love. Overall, Gemini gets over a breakup by letting their freak flag fly.
How a Cancer Gets Over a Breakup
Cancers are emotional souls and will feel every step and level of a breakup. They will go through the motions looking to explore the depths of their heart and what the relationship has taught them. Cancer has a little bit of a harder time letting go than most of the zodiac. They tend to hold onto people, situations, and experiences more tightly and they are the type to believe in forever. When their vision of a relationship doesn’t turn out to be what they thought it would, it feels like more of a shake-up to their world and their plans, and they move on by rest, letting it out, and by taking things day by day. They often channel their energy into something else and look for new areas to give their love and energy.
How a Leo Gets Over a Breakup
With Leo being a fixed sign, they tend to hold onto their relationships until something major or dramatic happens. When they are in love they see the best in their partner and their relationship and have more ego adjustments going through a breakup. They tend to self-identify closely to their relationships so there is a lot of pride they feel they are losing going through a breakup. A Leo will make it their mission to have as much fun as possible post-breakup, however, and you can find them out and about, enjoying their life nonetheless. A Leo going through a breakup can be very up and down, but overall, they move through life confidently, knowing they deserve the best in love and will make sure they have just that.
How a Virgo Gets Over a Breakup
A Virgo going through a breakup is an overthinker, but this is also where their power in healing and emotional regulation comes in handy. A Virgo will go over everything after a breakup, analyzing what went wrong and what they can do better next time. A Virgo mentally processes events more so than emotionally and they will want to lay down the facts first and foremost. A Virgo moves through a breakup with the perspective that it will get better from here, although they can be a little hard on themselves in the process as they often expect perfection from themselves. Looking at a breakup as a personal failure should be watched out for, but at the end of the day, a Virgo will move on knowing what they are bringing to the table is valuable.
How a Libra Gets Over a Breakup
When a Libra is going through a breakup- they are going to talk about it. They are going to call every friend, family member, or co-worker that will listen, and will want the advice and perspective from others to move on. A Libra after a breakup spills the tea, and they will want everyone to know what went down. This is their way of getting over things, and once there is nothing left to discuss they will be ready for their next experience in love. They mentally need a release to emotionally resolve what occurred. With Venus being a sign all about love and relationships, however, you don’t find Libras going through a breakup often, but they will not give up on love after it.
How a Scorpio Gets Over a Breakup
Scorpios go through a rebirth when they go through a breakup. Scorpios take their commitments seriously, and if they have gotten to a point where they were able to be vulnerable with someone and they showed them a part of themselves they don’t show many people, then they will take their time in letting go. Even if they 100% don’t want to get back with the person, they will still take their time with their emotions and will not rush the “getting over it” process. Scorpios give a part of themselves when they are in relationships, and will spend time healing, renewing the heart, and standing in their self-empowerment. A Scorpio going through any type of change is an awakening experience for them, but they always evolve and move into better experiences regardless.
How a Sagittarius Gets Over a Breakup
A Sagittarius is hard to pin down and they aren’t one to let a breakup change things too much for them. They try to keep an open perspective and will find new truths and purpose through their experience. A breakup for a Sagittarius is more about what they’ve learned, their new philosophies in love, and what they don’t want to go through again. With Sagittarius being a mutable sign, emotions tend to fluctuate, and they are flexible not only with themselves after a breakup, but with others as well. They are more the type to remain friends with exes or mutual, as they don’t carry feelings of negativity with them towards that person. They can move on pretty quickly and a vacation or trip away definitely doesn’t hurt.
How a Capricorn Gets Over a Breakup
Capricorns are in it for the long haul when they get into relationships, and would usually rather work things out than go through a breakup. If you find a Capricorn in a breakup then something serious has happened, and they may not want to even talk about it. A Capricorn internalizes a lot of their emotions and people around them may not even know they were having challenges in their relationship, to begin with, or the breakup as a whole will be surprising to others. Capricorns love a solid foundation and they will spend their time rebuilding after a breakup and not letting their emotions get the best of them. Finding ways to emotionally release, talk about what’s going on within, and allow yourself to feel is key to moving on for Capricorns.
How an Aquarius Gets Over a Breakup
Aquarius gets over a breakup by mentally processing and coming to the conclusion of why it is smarter to move on than to stay. An Aquarius does what makes sense to them, regardless of if it is understood by others as well. Aquarius isn’t the most emotional sign of the zodiac and so they tend to have less of this energy tied up in their relationships, making the moving on process a little bit easier for them. The biggest thing they tend to miss from a relationship is friendship, and depending on how the relationship ended, will typically have exes that still see them fondly or as a friend. An Aquarius going through a breakup is going to hang out with friends, come up with new dreams and schemes, and analyze.
How a Pisces Gets Over a Breakup
A Pisces going through a breakup can go back and forth and is quite an emotional experience for them. Pisces is all about compassion and unconditional love which is a positive thing, however, it can also tend to keep them in situations that do not serve them and relationships where they are giving more than they are receiving. They will still see the other person in the best light after a breakup and will take some time to recognize some of the patterns and behaviors that didn’t serve them. A Pisces loves with rose-colored glasses on and taking off those glasses isn’t easy. Pisces can love a person for years whether they are with them or not, and overall should use this energy to channel their emotions into creating art, and their spirituality.
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Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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