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Not Feeling The Valentine's Day Love? Here's How To Cope.
I'm a lover girl and a single girl, and two truths can exist simultaneously. Valentine's Day and seeing declarations of love across social media can be triggering, but the world isn't as coupled up as we think. Single women are everywhere, desiring the same love you desire. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 46% of 228 million Americans over the age of 18 are single. So why does this day make us feel like we're the only one in the world without someone? Because commercialism and consumerism were designed to make you feel that way.
The first Valentine's Day after my last relationship was filled with comfort. One of my best friends, who was also newly single, took me to my favorite restaurant and even bought me a necklace from the jewelry company she worked for. We'd been with our exes for the same amount of time, so she knew how difficult the day would be for me; she heard my heart, saw my tears, and made it a point to show up. Years later, that level of care and gentleness that she showed me affirmed to me how loved I truly am.
That evening was filled with laughter, filet mignon, and lobster tail, and still - I can't deny still feeling waves of sadness over every sip of champagne I took. I drank a lot that night, too much, if I'm honest, because I was in so much pain. I was so sad. I had given years to this relationship, and now this man that I loved was a stranger living his life without a care for my broken heart. In hindsight, as an adult, I wondered why I was so emotional because the relationship wasn't all that great. He was emotionally and mentally abusive, and I was young, naive, and had a father in prison, so he filled a space I had no business allowing him to occupy.
When we're young, we can often romanticize our experiences with people and miss what we thought the relationship was - and not what occurred. But in that moment, none of that mattered; what mattered was that I felt alone and unloved, and I wondered when I'd find the man that God made for me. I won't lie to you and tell you that I've found the man who made those tears and wasted time worth it just yet because I haven't. Despite the prayers, manifestation journals, and making space for what I say I want, I'm still single.
What I can tell you, though, is that I found the best thing to ever happen to me, myself. And that isn't some answer wrapped up in a cliche; it's the truth.
Youth can be tricked into thinking that we don't have what we need already, and that's love. When I reminded myself on the following Valentine's Day that I had been loved my entire life, it changed how I felt about Valentine's Day. I allowed myself to reflect on the years that my parents would take me to dinner, shower me with presents, and how my father would buy me roses even as a teenager so that I could be reminded of what I deserved as a woman and as a little girl.
So why would I allow one bad relationship to make me feel that I wasn't deserving of something I'd been experiencing my entire life?
If You’re Feeling Sad This Valentine’s Day, Here’s How To Cope
Remember, you were loved before your last relationship.
What helped me most was to remember not only who I am, but whose I am. I have been loved by God, my family, and the people who have chosen to love me my entire life. Remind yourself of the people who have loved you and will always love you in those moments when sadness tries to find its way to your home and heart.
I told y'all I'm a lover girly, and as a lover girly, I have no problem celebrating myself on this day. Whatever your favorite thing you like to experience on Valentine's Day - do it. This year, I'm switching things up, and I booked a massage, planned a visit to my favorite florist to pick up a bouquet of roses, and I'll end the evening at dinner with one of my girls.
Know that the love you deserve is on its way.
Never let anyone take away your desire to love and receive love. I know that painful breakups can make you doubt if love will find you again, but it will. Even as a single woman, there is not a moment where I truly believe that because love is finding me every day. Every friendship, every opportunity I receive, and every blessing is a form of love that I deserve that is getting me one step closer to the love of my life.
Don't let this day or holiday season make you question what you deserve because around here, we affirm that Black women deserve the world, and that includes the love we've been waiting our entire lives for.
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- Being Strung Along In A Situationship Inspired Me To Create Wellness Retreats For Women ›
- xoMan Candy Sammie Talks Heartbreak & Monogamy ›
- A Love Letter To Women Who Are Single This Valentine's Day ›
Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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