

Disclaimer: Contrary to the title of this article, there will be no bashing of God or prayer. Rather, this piece hopes to remind you that faith without actions is dead and that the definition of action is different for different people, which must be honored.
Technically, I don't have time to be sad.
I work a full-time job where I commute over 100 miles per day. I am a single mother of two, including an athlete. There are games, practices, appointments, parent teacher conferences. I'm likely going back to school at some point to finish my second Masters degree. I write in the spaces of time that I am able to make available to do so – mainly to empty my mind of the clutter and debris that the stress of everyday life leaves in its wake. I do yoga, meditate, and pray daily.
And even with all of that, sad can make time for me.
On the surface, people see someone unafraid to push through anything – pain, anguish, anger. But the sadness often creeps through. Inside, some days, I feel a palpable emptiness that eats away at me. I feel that I'm trapped in that emptiness, and that I'm falling inside myself. Nothing can go right. Nobody understands and even if they did, I don't want to put them on the emotional rollercoaster that I'm sitting in the front of. These are the things I tell myself because although I am attempting to backstroke through my misery, I'm drowning in it. Most of the time, nothing has even happened – I just wake up like this.
My struggle with mental illness is known to my family and friends, who I'm blessed to say show me a compassion and empathy that encourages my healing, including through counseling and medication. On the medication point, my friends have been divided. Some encourage me to do whatever I need to do so that I can get to definitively say I'm happy. Others are quick to doubt the medication, and either blame them for my troubles (present and potentially future), or tell me that I don't need it. That I just need to pray about my issues and give it to God. Which is not bad advice; however, I am at the point where I believe discounting all other methods of treatment is unrealistic and dangerous.
Does prayer work? Absolutely. But without work? No.
There's a story that talks about a man who climbs atop his roof during a storm with bad flooding. He is praying to God to save him. A rescue boat comes to him and he says, "No, I'm okay, God is going to save me." Next, a helicopter comes, and again he says, "No, I'm okay, God is going to save me." Inevitably the flood rises and he succumbs and drowns. When he gets to heaven, he finds Jesus and asked why He didn't save him. Jesus replied, "I sent you a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want?"
In the flood that depression, anxiety, and other mental illness diagnoses can make rise around a person, the lifeboats that come sometimes are tucked inside pill bottles and sit in chairs across from us with notebooks listening to us talk about our childhoods.
We have to stop allowing our pride to get in the way of healing. Superwoman does not exist.
Let me say that again – Superwoman does NOT exist. No matter what Alicia Keys says. Put the cape down and step away slowly.
In communities of color, the stigma around mental illness is an epidemic within itself. Everyday, depression and anxiety attacks are met with rolled eyes and a "Nothing is really wrong with him/her." Medication administration is met with disdain. "You don't need all those medications – you need to pray/go to church/etc." Nothing is wrong with spiritual advice or intervention. In fact, we can all use some Jesus in our lives. But the thing is…Sometimes, you just can't pray it away.
What is "it"? It can be a feeling of sadness so large that it becomes a boulder on your chest, preventing you from breathing only because you woke up this morning. It can be an inability to cope with rejection because your mind immediately links it with failure and you link that with your own sense of living. It can be voices in your head telling you to harm yourself or others. It can be a lot of things. What it isn't, is something that should be swept under the rug, shoved in a closet, or dismissed flippantly.
Remember the story from earlier? Sometimes God sends lifeboats in the forms of licensed medical professionals and helicopters in the forms of medication and therapy. We have to start recognizing that diagnosis and treatment are not signs of weakness, but of strength and self-care, which is essential to surviving everyday life. And make no doubt about it, there's more of us wanting to thrive, than actually thriving. The line between the two being thin, of course. But that line has to be drawn in the sand, and a stand, of course, has to be made for those of us who don't know how.
Sometimes, you just can't pray it away – and that is okay.
Faith, without work is dead. Prayer without action are just words spoken into the world.
Some may say that going to church is an action. Yes, the act of walking into church and experiencing fellowship are actions. But so is walking into a counselor's office and talking about how you feel and why you feel it. So is walking into a psychiatrist's office and obtaining medication to make you think and feel like a "regular" person. These actions are just as appropriate and those who take those actions should not be ostracized or made to feel as if they are engaging in an activity that is wrong or that their belief and faith in God should be called into question. They should not be met with criticism or negativity because that only feeds the pain they are already feeling.
What part can you play? Loving that person. Supporting that person – without giving them unsolicited advice or consternation. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean that you should mold the situation into something that you can understand. Your way of coping with or engaging in life may not be someone else's. Respect those boundaries.
Sometimes, you can pray it away. But if you can't, there's nothing wrong with you. Do not let anyone else make you feel "less than" because you have chosen your own path of healing, which is the end goal. Some things never go away but you can learn to live in spite of them. There is nothing wrong with you – don't let anyone make you think that it is.
You are ill, but you are not your illness.
And if others around you refuse to understand that…perhaps part of your healing is to remove them as well. Take care of yourself, by any means necessary.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissons@xonecole.com
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is a mother, writer, yogi, Scorpio and has good hair but is NOT Becky by any means. By day, she pushes paper, but by night, she unleashes her superpower: using her words.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
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