
Six Single Ladies Share How They’re Spending Their Valentine's Day

Since becoming a single girl, Valentine's Day feels weird. The anniversary of an almost 10-year relationship landed on this international day of love and I just recently felt like I was done grieving that part of my life. Now, as a woman without a partner, the 14th of February forces me to choose myself and focus on how amazing I am because I deserve all the love I give to the world.
We had a chance to check in with Christian Life Coach for Single Women, Jay Shantal, about how to show up for yourself in your singledom and she dropped all the gems. More importantly, we love how she empowers single women through truth and beauty. We know Valentine's Day is known to incite a lot of emotions for singles so Jay loves to challenge singles to change their perspective on singleness, even on V-Day.
Here are a few tips she suggests for singles to stay emotionally grounded during V-Day:
- If you feel that getting on social media might cause a bit of anxiety, set healthy boundaries or avoid it altogether. It is OK to guard your heart and protect your mental health.
- Set aside intentional time to be grateful for the love that is in your life currently. Romantic love isn't the only love that can be celebrated on V-Day. Take a moment to show gratitude for all the people in your world that make you feel special and appreciated.
- Despite the pressure you may feel from society, know that you are in the right place. V-Day can cause you to feel like you are detached from the rest of society. In turn, you internalize your singleness making you ask yourself, "Why am I still single?"
Jay says, "Understand that singleness is not an issue that needs to be fixed nor is it a consequence. You are perfectly whole all by yourself. Singleness is the best season in a woman's life. It is such an undervalued blessing. Savor it, sis. Life is full of swift transitions. Next year might look completely different."
This year we wanted to check in with some beautiful single Black women on how they will be celebrating this day of love this year. From virtual speed dating to day trips, these women are proof that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be filled with gloom.
Oyin (@sweetlikeoyin)
Oyin (@sweetlikeoyin)
Location: Austin, TX, but constantly on the go!
Single Since: 2018
Why She Chooses to be Single:
"I heard this once and it stuck with me ever since my last relationship: figure out why you're important and never settle for anyone who doesn't completely agree. I'm incredible alone and I've taken the necessary steps to know and understand my self-worth as a human being.
"The things I tolerated in the past are no longer factors in my life. I feel like being alone has shaped the formation of my self-confidence and now I can experience great love when the time is right."
Her Plans for Valentine's Day:
"As an advocate for Black women in luxury, I plan on taking myself on a solo trip to wherever my heart desires. I'm thinking something warm, fun, and tropical because simply I deserve! There's nothing better than wining and dining yourself and that's on what? PERIOD!"
What Self-Care Looks Like for Her as a Single Black Woman:
"This is a question I love SO much! Self-care looks like showing up for myself as a Black Woman. It's about knowing when to take a break and be mindful and present of your energy and creativity. I'm the queen of checking out when my body tells me to. I haven't always been this way but I'm learning, especially in a pandemic, to put myself first starting now."
Nzinga Imani (@nzingaimani)
Nzinga Imani (@nzingaimani)
Location: Atlanta, GA
Single Since: Newly (end of January)
Why She Chooses to be Single:
"I'm rediscovering myself and spending time to figure out what I want."
Her Plans for Valentine's Day:
"[I'm attending a] Galentine's Day Event where I am surrounding myself with other boss women and focusing on building mutually beneficial relationships while promoting self-care."
What Self-Care Looks Like for Her as a Single Black Woman:
"Taking time to really be alone with my thoughts. Working through my decisions with ME in mind with no need to compromise on what I see for my life. Reading, dancing naked in the living room to my favorite tune, reminding myself that I am a prize."
Shania Banton (@shaniabanton_)
Shania Banton (@shaniabanton_)
Location: Queens, NY
Single Since: June 2020
Why She Chooses to be Single:
"The men I come across are very selfish and never want to prioritize me but want me to prioritize them. I am no one's mother and I am a girl boss, I can't make time if I'm not going to get it back. I refuse."
Her Plans for Valentine's Day:
"My friend and I are planning to go out and have brunch and partake in the 'Galentine's' theme. We are both very single so very excited to lean on my good sis.
What Self-Care Looks Like for Her as a Single Black Woman:
"Self-care starts with getting all aspects of me taken care of from a mani/pedi to lashes to a full body massage followed by freshly washed hair. Then being able to sit with a good book or a good show/movie because that's what brings me joy and then a nap that no one can wake me up from until I'm ready."
Nakia Adamson (@BrownGurlHealing)
Nakia Adamson (@BrownGurlHealing)
Location: Washington, DC
Single Since: May of 2018
Why She Chooses to be Single:
"My last relationship ended because we were speaking different love languages and showing love differently. Communication became a major deficit in our relationship and led to us ultimately calling it quits. I've been attempting to work at this intentional dating thing but haven't been extremely successful in it - but I'm honestly unsure if I'm actually ready. Healing from betrayal trauma in past relationships has been a process - but I'm actively working to process and recover from it."
Her Plans for Valentine's Day:
"One of my sister-friends and are going out to eat dinner and of course sticking to my tradition of exchanging gifts with my mom and sister."
What Self-Care Looks Like for Her as a Single Black Woman:
"Self-care legitimately looks like whatever you need at that moment to make sure you preserve your mental and physical! So many times Black women fall into the idea that self-care is selfish and self-indulgence because Black women are superheroes! And although it can be getting your hair and nails done - sometimes these things can be more of a task or maintenance and another thing to do on your laundry list of to-do's (because let's face how we show up in this world is important).
"I'm really big on love languages - tapping into what your love languages are and giving yourself what you need on the regular is important for self-preservation."
"My top three love languages are acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts - so I do things like schedule time for car washes, time block my schedule for uninterrupted time alone, or treating myself to something that I really want! We have to discipline ourselves to make self-care a priority and do what works best for us when we need it!"
Tayla Santos (@taylasnts)
Tayla Santos (@taylasnts)
Location: Boston, MA
Single Since: 2018
Why She Chooses to be Single:
"I needed space to grow into the woman I knew I was intended to be. God was speaking to me and He had plans for me. I knew that leaving who I was within 2018 would open so many doors for me and my career. Looking back, I was unhappy and didn't even know it. I praise God for giving me the strength to walk away from a relationship I thought I couldn't be happier in. Now I am successful in my career as a content creator, I run the Youth Group at my church, and get to spend so much more time with my family!"
Plans for Valentine's Day:
"I will be driving to NYC with my best friend and sister to spend a few days in the city!"
What Self-Care Looks Like for Her as a Single Black Woman:
"Spending each morning with God and focusing and prioritizing my health."
Vanessa Samuel (@vanessasamuel01)
Vanessa Samuel (@vanessasamuel01)
Location: Denver, Colorado
Single Since: 2014
Why She Chooses to be Single:
"I took some time to really understand myself in my 20s while pursuing my dream career and life. Now that I am 30, I am ready to dive in, now that I know more of what I am looking for. The things I wanted in my early 20s are very different than what I want now."
Her Plans for Valentine's Day:
"Virtual speed-dating and relaxing!"
What Self-Care Looks Like for Her as a Single Black Woman:
"I personally thrive off of adventure so self-care for me looks like traveling to new places and exploring or trying out something new that I haven't done before (i.e. snowmobiling, rock climbing, scuba diving). I also love reading an inspiring book by someone I look up to. It makes me feel like they are my personal advisors even though I do not know them."
Featured image courtesy of Nzinga Imani
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Relationship Timeline
Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe are one of our favorite Hollywood couples. We can't get over their adorable moments together on the red carpet and on social media. While they're both from St. Louis, they didn't meet until college, which they both attended Stanford. And the rest is as they say, history. Read below as we dive into their decades-long relationship.
Mid to Late1990s: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Meet
Sterling and Ryan met as freshmen at Stanford University. "We were in the same dorm freshman year...that's kind of how we met," Ryan said in an interview with ET. "I was mesmerized," she said after watching him audition for the school play, Joe Turner's Come and Gone. Sterling revealed that The First Wives Club star was dating someone else, so they started off as friends.
"She got cast in the play as well, and we would ride bikes to rehearsal, and we would just talk. We found out that we were both from St. Louis. We didn't know that we were both from St. Louis, like, our parents went to rival high schools. We were born in the same hospital. Like, we were friends," he said.
The first few years of their relationship involved many breakups and makeups. However, they ended up graduating and attended NYU's Tisch Grad Acting Program together.
Early 2000s: Sterling K. Brown Tells Ryan Michelle Bathe She's 'The Love Of My Life'
The Paradise star opened up about telling Ryan that she was the one. "We broke up for three and a half years before we came back into each other's lives," he said. "She was on the treadmill working out, and I had this epiphany, 'I have to go tell this woman she's the love of my life.'"
"I go to her apartment, I tell her, and she's like, 'Well, I'm working out right now,' and I was like, 'No, I can see that—I'll just talk to you while you're on the treadmill,' and she's like, 'Well, I feel like going outside. So I'm gonna go on a run,'" he continued. "So I'm like dressed [in a suit], and she starts running through Koreatown, and I start running along with her. Brother had to work, but it was well worthwhile."
2006: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Tie The Knot
The St. Louis natives eloped in 2006 and a year later held a larger ceremony. According to the bride, the best part of their wedding was the food. "The best thing about it was the food," she told ET.
"Can I just say, sometimes you go to weddings, and you get the winner-winner chicken dinner and you're like, 'I pay. OK, it's fine.' But I wanted people to remember their experience -- their culinary experience. So I was happy about that. The food was good."
2011: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their First Child
In 2011, Sterling and The Endgame actress welcomed their first son, Andrew. In a 2017 tweet, Sterling revealed they had a home birth. "An unexpected home delivery is something my wife and I went through ourselves with our first born, so this was round 2 for me!" he wrote while referring to a scene involving his character Randall, in This Is Us.
2012: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Appear On-screen Together
A year later, the couple acted together on the Lifetime series Army Wives.
2015: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their Second Child
In 2015, Sterling and Ryan welcomed another son, Amaré. Sterling shared an Instagram post about their latest addition to the family. "1st post. 2nd child. All good! #imoninstagram," the Atlas star wrote.
2016: Ryan Michelle Bathe Joins Sterling K. Brown On 'This Is Us'
Ryan guest appears on her hubby's show, This Is Us.
Sterling K. Brown Reveals Ryan Michelle Bathe's Mother Didn't Like Him At First
During their sit-down interview for the Black Love series, Sterling revealed that Ryan's mother wasn't a fan of him, which caused friction in their relationship.
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Explain How Jennifer Lopez Once Broke Them Up
While visiting The Jennifer Hudson Show, Sterling and Ryan share their hilarious Jennifer Lopez break-up story. "We had just gone out, we were living in New York City, we were in grad school, and we had gone to see a Broadway play and we came back to my place and my roommate was playing the ["Love Don't Cost A Thing"] video on MTV," Sterling said.
"Now I'm a fan of Jennifer Lopez's dancing, and I was watching the video and I knew my young...21, 22-year-old girlfriend was looking at me watch the video. And I know I'm not supposed to have a reaction. In trying NOT to have a reaction, what had happened was, my eyes began to water."
Ryan jumped in, "Otherwise known as, TEARS! I turn around and my boyfriend is weeping, tears like big fat [tears]. And I'm looking and she's just a shakin' and a shimming, and he's just crying. I said 'Oh no, I got to go.' "
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Launch Their Podcast, We Don't Always Agree
The couple launched their podcast, We Don't Always Agree, where they disclose more intimate details about their love story.
Feature image by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock