As I get older, I make a true effort to control my thinking. Literally, I've learned to train my mind to not gravitate toward negative scenarios. Don't get me wrong, I'm human, so there are times when I have to force myself to do so but for the most part, I maintain a very specific headspace. I once read that happy and healed people naturally radiate differently; in a way that doesn't have to be forced at all. And ultimately, at the end of the day, that's the good thing about true happiness: you can always tell when it's genuine, especially in relationships.
Hopefully, we all have a few examples we can look to to positively guide us in our relationships, and if not, there's plenty of celeb couples that give a new age look into what stepping into public happiness looks like--couples such as the Ciaras and Russells, or the Gabrielles and Dwyanes, or Nicoles and Boris' of the world. But our ultimate favorites, are the ones that have put in the time: the Denzels and Paulettas, the Angelas and Courtneys. And of course, Tamia and Grant Hill.
Former NBA star Grant Hill and his wife, Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter Tamia have one of the most inspiring Black love stories of our time. Meeting in 1996, after being introduced by Anita Baker, the two eventually wed three years later in '99. And since, they have shown time and time again what longevity in marriage looks like, with highlighting some of their most admirable-worthy moments on social media.
Like all the times he plays piano for her while she sings:
Recently, Tamia uploaded a video to Instagram of her singing Marvin Sapp's, "Never Would Have Made It". In it, by her side, is her husband, joyfully playing the background keys for her as the crooner puts her spin--and vocals--on the track. Each of their social media accounts are filled with moments as such, as they often make fun of each other.
The video was captioned:
"Sometimes You Just Want To Give Thanks. @realgranthill was playing this @marvinsapp classic on the piano, and I had to join in."
(And sidebar, if you're old like me, nostalgia likely sets in because you probably remember the Living Single episode where he played for Khadijah during a date on the basketball court, but I digress.)
Or that time they broke the internet when they celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary:
Twenty years, already?!
In 2019, the couple celebrated their 20-year wedding anniversary, proving the love is still as strong as ever. In a post celebrating their milestone anniversary on Instagram, Tamia writes, "Happy 20th Anniversary my love. ❤️ Cheers to the next 20."
"Seriously, I'm truly amazed and inspired by how far we've come; humbled by how far we have left to go; and beyond grateful to be on this journey with you…Thankful is an understatement!!"
When they hit their best moves on an anniversary vacation:
While hitting their best two-step, and set to the tune "Can't Get Enough" by Tamia herself, the couple stunted on everybody when they uploaded proof that ain't nun' changed, m'kay?! Paired with a routine that I still can't get right, Tamia captioned the photo:
"Still dancing and celebrating love after 21 years."
And the multiple times they've matched each other's fly:
With any high-profile relationship, comes the responsibility of showing up, and OUT, whenever you pull up, and the Hills have got that allllll the way together as they have snatched our wigs since '97. Pre-pandemic, they frequented galas, red carpet premieres, and charity events, as the best looking duo in the room, never missing a single beat.
And finally, the time they explained to all of us why love doesn't have a plan:
The Hills were featured on an episode of OWN's Black Love where they discussed the many microcosms of their relationship--from how they met, all the way to the mistakes they've made as parents. And they've often discussed how their love found them naturally, and has flowed that way since.
But the most frequent question the long-time power couple is asked, is what's the secret to keeping a healthy, long-lasting marriage. And for over 20 years, their answer has always been the same. To them, marriage isn't rocket science, and they agree that there's no secret formula because it's different for every couple. In fact, marriage isn't about looking into each other's eyes, but instead, looking in the same direction.
They tell Essence:
"We were just talking about how people were asking just these deep questions, and we were like, at the end of the day, it's not deep. Marriage is not deep. It isn't complicated; you're just trying to make it."
"I really think every relationship is different and the dynamics within every relationship are different. You have to continue to adapt and adjust and find out what works for the two of you."
In other words, "we-are-human-just-like-you-and-we-also-have-our-problems-but-we've-figured-out-what-works-for-us."
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