As I get older, I make a true effort to control my thinking. Literally, I've learned to train my mind to not gravitate toward negative scenarios. Don't get me wrong, I'm human, so there are times when I have to force myself to do so but for the most part, I maintain a very specific headspace. I once read that happy and healed people naturally radiate differently; in a way that doesn't have to be forced at all. And ultimately, at the end of the day, that's the good thing about true happiness: you can always tell when it's genuine, especially in relationships.
Hopefully, we all have a few examples we can look to to positively guide us in our relationships, and if not, there's plenty of celeb couples that give a new age look into what stepping into public happiness looks like--couples such as the Ciaras and Russells, or the Gabrielles and Dwyanes, or Nicoles and Boris' of the world. But our ultimate favorites, are the ones that have put in the time: the Denzels and Paulettas, the Angelas and Courtneys. And of course, Tamia and Grant Hill.
Former NBA star Grant Hill and his wife, Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter Tamia have one of the most inspiring Black love stories of our time. Meeting in 1996, after being introduced by Anita Baker, the two eventually wed three years later in '99. And since, they have shown time and time again what longevity in marriage looks like, with highlighting some of their most admirable-worthy moments on social media.
Like all the times he plays piano for her while she sings:
Recently, Tamia uploaded a video to Instagram of her singing Marvin Sapp's, "Never Would Have Made It". In it, by her side, is her husband, joyfully playing the background keys for her as the crooner puts her spin--and vocals--on the track. Each of their social media accounts are filled with moments as such, as they often make fun of each other.
The video was captioned:
"Sometimes You Just Want To Give Thanks. @realgranthill was playing this @marvinsapp classic on the piano, and I had to join in."
(And sidebar, if you're old like me, nostalgia likely sets in because you probably remember the Living Single episode where he played for Khadijah during a date on the basketball court, but I digress.)
Or that time they broke the internet when they celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary:
Twenty years, already?!
In 2019, the couple celebrated their 20-year wedding anniversary, proving the love is still as strong as ever. In a post celebrating their milestone anniversary on Instagram, Tamia writes, "Happy 20th Anniversary my love. ❤️ Cheers to the next 20."
She continued:
"Seriously, I'm truly amazed and inspired by how far we've come; humbled by how far we have left to go; and beyond grateful to be on this journey with you…Thankful is an understatement!!"
When they hit their best moves on an anniversary vacation:
While hitting their best two-step, and set to the tune "Can't Get Enough" by Tamia herself, the couple stunted on everybody when they uploaded proof that ain't nun' changed, m'kay?! Paired with a routine that I still can't get right, Tamia captioned the photo:
"Still dancing and celebrating love after 21 years."
And the multiple times they've matched each other's fly:
With any high-profile relationship, comes the responsibility of showing up, and OUT, whenever you pull up, and the Hills have got that allllll the way together as they have snatched our wigs since '97. Pre-pandemic, they frequented galas, red carpet premieres, and charity events, as the best looking duo in the room, never missing a single beat.
And finally, the time they explained to all of us why love doesn't have a plan:
The Hills were featured on an episode of OWN's Black Love where they discussed the many microcosms of their relationship--from how they met, all the way to the mistakes they've made as parents. And they've often discussed how their love found them naturally, and has flowed that way since.
But the most frequent question the long-time power couple is asked, is what's the secret to keeping a healthy, long-lasting marriage. And for over 20 years, their answer has always been the same. To them, marriage isn't rocket science, and they agree that there's no secret formula because it's different for every couple. In fact, marriage isn't about looking into each other's eyes, but instead, looking in the same direction.
They tell Essence:
"We were just talking about how people were asking just these deep questions, and we were like, at the end of the day, it's not deep. Marriage is not deep. It isn't complicated; you're just trying to make it."
Hill continues:
"I really think every relationship is different and the dynamics within every relationship are different. You have to continue to adapt and adjust and find out what works for the two of you."
--
In other words, "we-are-human-just-like-you-and-we-also-have-our-problems-but-we've-figured-out-what-works-for-us."
Beautiful.
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Featured image by Alex Millauer / Shutterstock.com
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
"They asked for body products and we wanted to make sure we listened. But also layering fragrance begins with the body routine." The body wash is $33, and the body lotion is $35. Keep reading below to hear more about Tabitha and Chance's new collection, their body rituals, and what makes their partnership successful.
Fridays with Tab and Chance body collection
Marcus Owens
xoNecole: How did you come up with the scents for the collection?
Tabitha Brown: We love warm scents that make you feel sexy and loved. [We’re] both fans of gourmand [scents], including bergamot, vanilla, tonka and chocolate.
xoN: If you could describe your working relationship in one word, what would it be and why?
Tabitha: It's our first time building a product line together and our first time working with fragrance. So having patience with the process and each other has been the best way to build.
xoN: What is your body care ritual?
Tabitha: Exfoliate with a scrub a few times a week, but using a moisturizing body wash daily. After a shower, I spray a body mist that compliments what scent I am choosing for the day. Most times vanilla mist wins because it’s a perfect base for layering. I then hydrate [my] skin with lotion. Then, once dressed, I layer my favorite fragrance, Her Business, first and then His Business on top.
Chance: [I’m] way more simple. Just body wash and lotion and then my cologne and I’m good to go.
xoN: We enjoy watching you two together online, whose idea was it to start 'Fridays with Tab & Chance'?
Tabitha: It actually happened by accident. Back in 2018, my fans had just been asking about how we met, so we did a video answering questions one Friday and people in the comments [asked], will y’all do it again next Friday? And so we did and the next thing you know Fridays with Tab & Chance was born.
xoN: In what other ways do you plan to expand Fridays? Restart the podcast? TV show?
Tabitha: We are working on a lifestyle content show vs the traditional Fridays podcast. More to come soon.
xoN: You do many things together, but what would you say is your favorite quality time activity and why?
Tabitha: We are really simple. We love watching movies or TV series together on the couch or in bed. It’s really one of our favorite things to do together.
xoN: What is your favorite thing about the other person?
Tabitha: I love that he makes me feel safe and how hard he works to be an amazing father.
Chance: I love that she is crazy enough to pursue her wildest dreams.
xoN: What is the key to a successful partnership in business and personal?
Tabitha: The key is knowing that you both are going to change, and giving each other grace, patience, and understanding during those changes.
See more on tabandchance.com.
Feature image Marcus Owens