
Tamia & Grant Hill Are The Epitome Of What Longevity In Marriage Looks Like

As I get older, I make a true effort to control my thinking. Literally, I've learned to train my mind to not gravitate toward negative scenarios. Don't get me wrong, I'm human, so there are times when I have to force myself to do so but for the most part, I maintain a very specific headspace. I once read that happy and healed people naturally radiate differently; in a way that doesn't have to be forced at all. And ultimately, at the end of the day, that's the good thing about true happiness: you can always tell when it's genuine, especially in relationships.
Hopefully, we all have a few examples we can look to to positively guide us in our relationships, and if not, there's plenty of celeb couples that give a new age look into what stepping into public happiness looks like--couples such as the Ciaras and Russells, or the Gabrielles and Dwyanes, or Nicoles and Boris' of the world. But our ultimate favorites, are the ones that have put in the time: the Denzels and Paulettas, the Angelas and Courtneys. And of course, Tamia and Grant Hill.
Former NBA star Grant Hill and his wife, Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter Tamia have one of the most inspiring Black love stories of our time. Meeting in 1996, after being introduced by Anita Baker, the two eventually wed three years later in '99. And since, they have shown time and time again what longevity in marriage looks like, with highlighting some of their most admirable-worthy moments on social media.
Like all the times he plays piano for her while she sings:
Recently, Tamia uploaded a video to Instagram of her singing Marvin Sapp's, "Never Would Have Made It". In it, by her side, is her husband, joyfully playing the background keys for her as the crooner puts her spin--and vocals--on the track. Each of their social media accounts are filled with moments as such, as they often make fun of each other.
The video was captioned:
"Sometimes You Just Want To Give Thanks. @realgranthill was playing this @marvinsapp classic on the piano, and I had to join in."
(And sidebar, if you're old like me, nostalgia likely sets in because you probably remember the Living Single episode where he played for Khadijah during a date on the basketball court, but I digress.)
Or that time they broke the internet when they celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary:
Twenty years, already?!
In 2019, the couple celebrated their 20-year wedding anniversary, proving the love is still as strong as ever. In a post celebrating their milestone anniversary on Instagram, Tamia writes, "Happy 20th Anniversary my love. ❤️ Cheers to the next 20."
She continued:
"Seriously, I'm truly amazed and inspired by how far we've come; humbled by how far we have left to go; and beyond grateful to be on this journey with you…Thankful is an understatement!!"
When they hit their best moves on an anniversary vacation:
While hitting their best two-step, and set to the tune "Can't Get Enough" by Tamia herself, the couple stunted on everybody when they uploaded proof that ain't nun' changed, m'kay?! Paired with a routine that I still can't get right, Tamia captioned the photo:
"Still dancing and celebrating love after 21 years."
And the multiple times they've matched each other's fly:
With any high-profile relationship, comes the responsibility of showing up, and OUT, whenever you pull up, and the Hills have got that allllll the way together as they have snatched our wigs since '97. Pre-pandemic, they frequented galas, red carpet premieres, and charity events, as the best looking duo in the room, never missing a single beat.
And finally, the time they explained to all of us why love doesn't have a plan:
The Hills were featured on an episode of OWN's Black Love where they discussed the many microcosms of their relationship--from how they met, all the way to the mistakes they've made as parents. And they've often discussed how their love found them naturally, and has flowed that way since.
But the most frequent question the long-time power couple is asked, is what's the secret to keeping a healthy, long-lasting marriage. And for over 20 years, their answer has always been the same. To them, marriage isn't rocket science, and they agree that there's no secret formula because it's different for every couple. In fact, marriage isn't about looking into each other's eyes, but instead, looking in the same direction.
They tell Essence:
"We were just talking about how people were asking just these deep questions, and we were like, at the end of the day, it's not deep. Marriage is not deep. It isn't complicated; you're just trying to make it."
Hill continues:
"I really think every relationship is different and the dynamics within every relationship are different. You have to continue to adapt and adjust and find out what works for the two of you."
--
In other words, "we-are-human-just-like-you-and-we-also-have-our-problems-but-we've-figured-out-what-works-for-us."
Beautiful.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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