If you're a solo traveler like me who is always itching to catch a flight, you probably feel like COVID just did away with all your travel dreams. I am sure you feel restricted AF. As a Sagittarius, I don't do well with restriction. I was so ready to be more adventurous this year too. I was planning to go to Southeast Asia, Australia, and New Zealand. But those plans came to an indefinite pause because of this never-ending pandemic. Scrolling through my Instagram feed, I was lowkey jealous of travelers that were stuck in countries like Bali, or Thailand. I mean, who wouldn't want to be stuck in paradise during a pandemic? A girlfriend of mine has been living in Portugal since the beginning of COVID not knowing when she can come home. Believe me, she is more than OK with the uncertainty of it too.
With random flight cancellations, mask requirements, and temperature checks, I am sure you are wondering what travel will look like for 2021. Well, let me just say if you love to fly, travel is about to be a whole damn process. And I know a good portion of us are willing to go through that process because we desperately need a redo of 2020. The travel industry got an unwanted makeover that none of us asked for. But there is confidence that travel will increase in 2021 as most of us either chose not to travel at all or postponed pre-planned vacations, weddings, honeymoons, anniversaries, and birthday trips.
In 2021, you can still live your best travel life, but it is not without a few caveats and new travel trends.
Pre-Travel Requirements Are Here To Stay
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Mexico and Colombia are open to tourism with the minimal requirement of a face mask and social distancing in public places. Countries like Trinidad are still on lockdown, and other countries are allowing foreign nationals to visit with restrictions. Not only are we required to wear face masks, social distance, and quarantine at our destination city, we are required to show proof of a negative COVID test for entry. I hate to pick on Jamaica, but because I will be traveling there soon, their government requires visitors to provide a copy of a negative COVID test that is less than 10 days old from the date of travel. Visitors must also request approval for entry into Jamaica via an online form five days before their arrival date.
Other countries like Egypt require a negative COVID test result 72 hours before their departure flight. And there is a high possibility travel insurance may become mandatory. While you have the option to take the PCR or antigen test, the PCR test is the universal standard and recommended. So, if you plan to travel internationally, check the visitor requirements for your destination country to avoid delays, and denied entry.
Staycations In Your Home City Or State Are Where It's At
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If international travel isn't something you're ready for this year, a staycation in your home city or state is where it's at. Because of the stay-at-home orders or state lockdowns, many travelers used the quarantine to explore their own hood.
Believe it or not, there are places you have yet to see or experience right in your own backyard. And now is the time to do it. The good thing is by choosing a staycation, travelers are supporting local Airbnbs, boutique hotels, restaurants, and other small businesses.
I love me a boutique hotel too. It's always the décor and ambiance for me. Oh, and the best food usually comes from the restaurant down the street.
Road Trips Are A Wanderlust Alternative
Shutterstock2020 also became the year of the road trip. Somehow driving became the safest method of travel for everyone. And honestly, who doesn't like a good road trip? It's so much easier to rent a car or an RV, map your route, and explore the city of your choosing at your own pace. Some have even used the quarantine for a DIY van build just so they can travel across the country. Personally, I like driving. It's the get-up and go feeling I crave. Distance doesn't bother me either, I always have my overnight bag ready to go.
If there is anything COVID taught us, it's that we take our own country's beauty for granted while admiring the beauty of others. COVID allowed us to get back to our roots by just being present in nature. Whether it was walking, hiking, riding a bike, rollerblading, or camping we all found our inner child outside.
Wellness Is Always The Answer
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It's been said that there has been a collective shift in thinking due to this pandemic. A universal awakening of some sort. Self-awareness, mental health, and well-being are major themes this year. And it has now become a theme for the travel industry. Hotels are starting to consider the whole person when creating an environment. They are aiming to meet people where they are now by offering experiences that focus on physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This also translates to the look and feel of hotels. Does the designed space make guests feel comfortable or connected to nature? There is more of a focus on the design of outdoor spaces as well as hotel lobbies that are spiritually engaging and offer privacy.
Travel is going to continue to look different in 2021 and beyond, but do not let this "new look" kill your travel joy. Now, there is just an added layer of protection and it is needed. We are here in this world to experience, to live, and to feel. Regardless of how you choose to travel, be smart, and play it safe.
These are moments and memories you are creating for yourself.
These are your untold stories.
And years from now, you can look back and say, "I survived a global pandemic and I traveled too."
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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