Between mid-March and early June, we kept our eyes and ears glued to the news waiting on the bat signal permitting us to go outside and play again. We even listened to our governors' guidelines for three different reopening phases trying to figure out how soon we can schedule a happy hour with our girls or a wax, nail, and hair appointment at our favorite spas and salons.
But naturally, we also second-guessed these initial dates that our governors set because the 'Rona hadn't disappeared, it was way too soon especially when the numbers were still rising and our common sense warned us it's probably best to stay in our cribs.
None of that has changed yet. And when I really think about it, 'the Rona has every intent to take over our hot girl summer and with an anticipated second wave in the fall, are we destined to stay inside until this time 2021?
To be honest, I can't quarantine that long. I have moves to make and my introversion won't allow me to remain sane in a group setting for such an extended period. In no way am I dismissing anyone's circumstances or the seriousness of this virus, though. To date, we've lost over 132K of our fellow neighbors right here in the U.S and this virus disproportionately affects us. We're three times as likely to become infected and twice as likely to succumb to the virus. So, this isn't something I take lightly.
Nevertheless people are slowly returning to their homes if they've been quarantined with others as well as venturing out to regain some semblance of a "normal" life. Besides, I've seen the fresh box braids and manicures on my newsfeed and I'm like, sis, you didn't do that yourself.
I've also seen a video clip of our people, masks off like the Future song, frolicking in a freakin' pool inside of an Atlanta nightclub. This was before Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms announced that she has tested positive for coronavirus.
Yet, instead of stressing, "Stay home!" to the party-goers with a period and the added "T" when people are steadily going out anyway, I'm taking a different approach to highlight the gravity of COVID-19.
Let's take a look at various non-essential spaces, examine how sanitary or risky they are right now and explore alternative options and precautions to maintain our health.
Disclaimer: This article is not a directive to be reckless and engage in high-risk behavior during a pandemic. Instead, it is a comprehensive breakdown of how to navigate spaces outside of your home and minimize your chances of exposure while doing so. None of these methods are 100% effective at avoiding coronavirus. Return to your new "normal" at your discretion.
Hair and Nail Salons
Unfortunately, the risk for a COVID-19 infection remains high at salons and barbershops regardless of any safety precautions because clients and employees can't realistically maintain a distance of 6 feet between one another. And if you're the one providing the service, you face an even greater risk because of the number of clients entering the shop daily. What's even more disturbing is that one person who enters the shop with COVID-19 symptoms can easily expose at least 100 clientele depending on how busy the establishment is, which is what happened at a St. Louis salon.
Safety tip: If you do go to the salon, stick with services that don't require you to remove your mask. In other words, that lip wax would have to wait. And only request one or two "emergency" services, not the full works, so you can shorten your time at the establishment. Check to be sure stylists are disinfecting chairs including headrests between clients and wearing single-use gloves.
Also, while it may be normal for you to chat with your stylist, it's suggested you refrain from your usual conversations. And don't grab a magazine to pass the time. In fact, they should already be removed from the waiting area and work stations.
You may also want to check to see if your fave shop offers extended hours to minimize the number of clients who are in the space at one time or a private room to accommodate clients who seek extra precautions.
And if you go to the nail shop, don't expect to test any colors. Better yet, take your own polish or get you some Kiss Luxe press-ons from Target or CVS.
Restaurants and Bars
Full disclosure: My cousin and I ate in a restaurant during lunchtime in mid-June. There was a maximum number of patrons who could dine at once and no one was seated behind us or next to us. Additionally, all condiments like ketchup bottles and salt and pepper shakers were removed from the tables and our menu was disposable. And if I remember correctly, so was our silverware.
While the sign on the door mandated that all patrons wear masks, not everyone who entered the establishment had one on. Granted, you can't eat and drink with your mask on but this is why restaurants and bars (and clubs, too!) will continue to be high-risk.
Safety tip: Outdoor or patio seating is a tad bit safer than inside dining, provided the seating isn't along a sidewalk where potentially unmasked people are constantly walking by. If your state allows you to dine-in, choose large, well-ventilated restaurants that can abide by the 6-feet social distancing rules as well as operate with fewer staff (with masks!) and patrons. And if you enter a restaurant and there's a full-on buffet, exit immediately.
It's also safer to dine out with those you've quarantined with rather than meet up with friends you haven't seen in the past four months. And, of course, there's definitely the carryout option or no-contact delivery where the driver leaves your food (protected) at your front door.
Gyms And Spas
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Gyms are danger zones. They can be tricky because the equipment is practically side-by-side and then there's moisture from sweat. Furthermore, how plausible is it that the gym staff can sanitize every bit of equipment between each use? Spas are also iffy with skin-to-skin contact. And while I'm yearning to get back in the yoga studio, I realize it's too tight and that community equipment like the yoga blocks are also hard to clean.
Safety tip: One word: towels. Plural. And wipes. Next, check to be sure that the gym has restricted access to every other machine and possibly placed barriers around equipment. Some gyms may even require members to reserve a block of time to use the gym and staff will clean in between blocks.
Also ask about the facility's updated policies regarding the usage of locker rooms. And although it's not the same as being on-site, there's also an option to workout virtually. Or outside.
If you book an appointment for a massage, ask the spa about their laundry policy for linens, towels, and other washable items. Also, ensure that your massage therapist follows hand-washing and hygiene protocols like definitely wearing a mask and maybe some clean gloves.
Airports, Airplanes, Hotels, and Airbnbs
Airports and airplanes are high-traffic areas. No pun intended. But apparently they're not as high-risk as gyms, salons, restaurants, and churches. Although now I can't get the thought out of my head that, as one of my friends recently pointed out, everyone stands up and crowds one another once the plane lands.
Safety tip: Before you book your flight, check travel advisories with both your airline and your destination. The last thing you want to do is arrive in another state and find out you need to self-quarantine for 14 days. Also, ensure that the middle seats on your airline are empty and find out for how long. (For example: Southwest isn't opening the middle seat until after September 30th.)
You're currently allowed to carry on 12 ounces of hand sanitizer so take advantage of it. Bring your wipes and wipe down the seats, trays, and armrests, although the airlines are supposed to disinfect between every landing and takeoff. And don't look for magazines, pillows, and blankets.
When you check-in to your hotel, find some cleaning supplies and disinfect high-touch surfaces such as doorknobs, light switches, remotes, and faucet handles. And if you opt for an Airbnb, reserve the entire property or ask how many people will be in and out of the residence during your stay.
Churches
While places of worship are traditionally safe spaces, they are considered among the unsafest when it comes to COVID transmission. Right now, I'm fine with Bedside Baptist. In fact, I just "attended" church online with viewers of the 2020 Virtual Essence Fest. I still got the word and some praise and worship with Tamela Mann. Hallalu! (In my Tamar Braxton voice.)
Safety tip: Some churches are hosting parking lot services where everything takes place outside and parishioners can remain in their cars. But if you're attending service inside of a church, check to see if there's a limit on the size of the congregation. Maybe the church will add services and clean in between. But still avoid touching hymnals and the collection plate. Use apps on your phone to read scriptures and tithe or use a stationary collection box.
As the weeks progress, guidelines may change and perhaps our governors will simply shut down establishments all over again. While that might be the downfall of many small businesses, it'll be a windfall for us who are doing way too much, way too fast.
However, if and when we do go outside, I just need us to remain well-informed and exercise extreme caution. Always wear your masks, scrub your hands and maintain those six feet like our lives literally depend on it because, well, they really do.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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