

You don't have to really know me personally to know that the Bible is basically my favorite book. When people who aren't Bible followers (or even advocates) ask me why, while I could get into deep theological, historical and philosophical reasons, I tend to say, "Listen, even if we ultimately find out that none of what's in the Good Book actually transpired, there are stories, lessons and warnings in it that can, irrefutably, help you to live your best life." I can't tell you how many times I have been in some real doozies and turning to the Word turned out to be the only thing that ended up shedding light (Psalm 109:105) on my situation. It's happened so much at this point, that that alone will always keep me as a fan. Big time.
And so today, I just wanted to share some of the verses in Scripture that have caused me to grow as a person and have also helped me to receive just how I believe that the Most High (Psalm 47:2) sees me. While I suspect that these may resonate with you in different ways—and for different reasons—than it has for me personally, I'd be floored if they don't leave you having a couple of your own light bulb moments of clarity and, prayerfully, some inner peace too.
1. “When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,’ says the Lord God.”—Ezekiel 16:8-9(NKJV)
Back when I was going to church, not just once a week but twice (on Sabbath and Sunday), I remember walking into my "Sunday church" and a church leader questioning me about my nose ring and how "worldly" it was. I quickly referred him to Ezekiel 16 because verses 11-12 say, "I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head." The Bible is an eastern culture book and it was/is quite common for brides to have rings in their nose. The Bible speaks of the Church being Christ's bride (Ephesians 5). Sooo…how worldly am I being, sir, when God himself referenced rings in noses? Knowledge is power, y'all.
To be thorough, this chapter in Scripture is God speaking to Jerusalem, but I've always connected with it because my name means "Mine; Belonging to Me" in Hebrew. Anyway, I'm leading with this because it's a reminder that God sees us, in all of our states. Not only that, but He loves us in every condition that we are in too. This doesn't mean that He sees us in our brokenness and expects us to remain there, but He is always paying very close attention to where we are in life and desiring to make a covenant with us.
I also adore these verses because they are a reminder that, unlike a lot of humans, God is not looking to "put us on blast". Proverbs 10:12(NKJV) states, "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins" and I John 4:8&16 references the fact that God is love. No matter what, God continually seeks to shield and protect us more than anything (if it gets to the "on blast" portion of the program, sometimes it's because we wouldn't learn any other way). Love always does.
2. “From the place of His dwelling He looks on all the inhabitants of the earth; He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works.”—Psalm 33:14-15(NKJV)
Hmm. I wonder what social media would look like if people really believed what Matthew 12:36(NLT) warns us about—"And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak." While folks are out here so flippantly saying that "only God can judge me", every idle word is a sobering thought. So yeah, it's important to remember that God takes us far more seriously than a lot of us choose to believe that He does. But the reason why I find this Scripture to be oh so very relevant to this topic is because of the "He fashions their hearts individually" part. God made each of us to be individuals. An individual is "a distinct, indivisible entity". To be distinct is to be "distinguished as not being the same; not identical; separate" and "different in nature or quality". One definition of the heart is "center of emotions" while another is a "center of our personality". The way I see all of this is that we're not supposed to see or feel the same way about things all of the time (or at the same time). And that is OK.
How you handle heartbreak may be different than I do. How you see religion may not be the same as I. What you think about the future may be on a totally different page from me. That doesn't make you right or me wrong because we were fashioned—made and formed—to not be the same. And that was all God's doing. Rather than tell someone else how they should think or feel, instead, we should strive to learn from each other by embracing our differences. Pretty sure God designed our "individuality" for that very purpose and reason. By design.
3. “All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along.”—Romans 8:22-26(Message)
Something that we as women have is a womb. In the physical sense, that's a uterus. In a broader sense, that is "the place in which anything is formed or produced". Do you get how amazing—no, supernatural—it is that we are made to form and produce, not just other human beings but other things, in general?
Right now, because you are a woman, you are pregnant with something. An idea. A goal. A dream. Here's the thing about that, though. Pregnancies aren't always comfortable. There are good and bad days. There are times when you feel things happening and moments when it feels like absolutely nothing is going on. Sometimes you ache. Sometimes, you're in downright pain. Sometimes those pains are labor pains. But because you are a woman, because there is something inside of you that is growing, goodness will come forth. You just need to wait.
Waiting is a part of the process. But the wonderful thing about this particular Scripture is it reminds us that waiting isn't for naught. Sometimes waiting is about remaining available. Sometimes waiting is trusting that delays have a purpose behind them. Or, as one of my favorite definitions of "wait" states, sometimes it's all about "remaining inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens". If deep down in your spirit, you know that this is a waiting season for you, and you honestly hate every single moment of it, remember that you're built for this. You're a woman, you're "pregnant" and, as this Scripture tells us, the waiting only makes us happier in the long run!
4. “He grants the barren woman a home, like a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!”—Psalm 113:9(NKJV)
On the heels of Romans 8, "barren" is a loaded word. While the main definition is to be incapable of producing offspring, it also means to be unproductive and without the ability to attract things…or people. "Home" is a loaded word too. It's not just about having a place to live; a home is also "the place in which one's domestic affections are centered". Whether it's a child that you long for, whether you feel like you are spinning in circles and getting nowhere in life, or whether you feel like everyone else is attracting what they desire while you are out here left in the cold, you've got to remember that Titus 1:2 tells us that God cannot lie. Although he doesn't work on our time schedule, Matthew 6:8 does assure us that God knows what we need, even before we ask Him. In due time (Galatians 6:7-7), in the way that He thinks is best, God will grant you your very own home. He will provide a space for your longings to be loved, welcomed and received. Hang in there, sis.
5. “Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; but let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.”—I Peter 3:3-4(AMPC)
Femininity is a beautiful thing; it really is. What I really appreciate about this Scripture is it reminds me that 1) God has no problem with us dolling ourselves up (hence the word "merely" in the beginning). He gets that there is something within the DNA of a woman that likes elaborate hairstyles, jewelry and even clothes. But what moves Him is a gentle and peaceful spirit—a woman who is kind, calm and at peace within herself. To God, that is what it means to be truly beautiful; that is the type of woman who is very precious in His eyes.
There's another Scripture in the Bible that says, "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." (John 15:19—NKJV) One way to look at this is that the world tends to be very contrary to Scripture. So, since the Bible celebrates femininity, a lot of people will "push back" on you wanting to be feminine is all of the ways that the Bible defines it to be. Don't worry about that. Rock those over the top hairstyles. Bling out. Enjoy your closet of clothes. Also—stay compassionate, tranquil and unbothered. God sees it. And he loves everything about it.
6. “Do not give that which is holy (the sacred thing) to the dogs, and do not throw your pearls before hogs, lest they trample upon them with their feet and turn and tear you in pieces.”—Matthew 7:6(AMPC)
Back when my first book came out, I used to autograph copies with this very verse. Personally, I think it should be a mantra for all women who want to elevate in their self-esteem.
Our bodies are temples; the Good Book says so (I Corinthians 6:19) and, as this translation of the Bible states, that means that our bodies are sacred. So yes, we should see ourselves as precious pearls—something that has been through a lot, survived and has become a brilliant gem as a direct result. Because of that, we shouldn't give ourselves to dogs or throw ourselves to hogs who don't understand a pearl's value.
Now here's the thing about this particular verse. I am not big on calling men "dogs" or women "bitches" (female dogs, by definition). I am made in the image of God and so are men (Genesis 1:26-28), so…I find that to be mad disrespectful, both to myself, to men and to my Creator. But I do find it to be interesting that an idiom for dog is "dog it" which means "to shirk one's responsibility". "Do not put your gem in a situation with someone who will treat you irresponsibly" is one way to look at this Scripture. Oh, and the New King James Version of Matthew 7:6 uses the word "swine" instead of hog. One definition of swine is "a coarse, gross, or brutishly sensual person" and another is "a contemptible person". These kinds of people do not understand value if it hit them in the face. Stay away from them. God wants you to.
7. “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”—Galatians 6:4-5(Message)
If you check out Genesis 1-2, something you might notice is the first way that we are introduced to God is as Him being our Creator. Really, how dope is that? God is many things, there's no questioning that. In fact, in the Hebrew language (remember, Christ was a Jew; the king of them, in fact and Jews speak Hebrew—Matthew 27:11), He has many titles (you can check out some of them here). Since we are made in the Creator's image, and since creators do things like cause unique things to come into being, manifested works of art from their imagination, and live constructively (which means they improve the quality of life on a daily basis)—this is what is expected of us. I really dig this fact. We are to be intentional about knowing who we are, what our purpose in this life is, to remain humble and focused and to be just as creative as we possibly can. What this all boils down to is it is biblical, holy and right to be creative. So, when an idea comes into your mind that you try and talk yourself out of because it seems too crazy or impossible, remember that you were made to be creative. It is literally a form of worship to the Master Creator to create.
8. “And blessed (happy, to be envied) is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her from the Lord.”—Luke 1:45(AMPC)
One more. If you'd like the context of this verse, it's something that Elizabeth—Mary, the mother of Christ's cousin—said to Mary during a visit that they had together. What I adore about it is it's a reminder that there are things that God says to all of us that, just by believing that He can be trusted, we are automatically put into a blessed state. Y'all, something that you've got to remember, at all times, is that God speaks things into existence—"Then God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light." (Genesis 1:3—NKJV) If there is something that you know, that you know, that you absolutely know that He promised you (not something that you decided you wanted and so you demanded it but something He assured you that you can back up with Scripture), please "be anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6-7) during your "in the meantime" process.
What God speaks, it does manifest. In the meantime, you are blessed—happy, to be envied—simply for believing that.
Amen? Amen.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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