Quantcast

JimDre Westbrook Is A 33-Year-Old Virgin Worth The Wait

popular

If you thought that only women abstained from sex in an effort to wait for the one man to create their soul tie with, then you're in for a surprise!


JimDre Westbrook, aka "Worth The Wait Guy," has made national headlines for being a 30+ year old virgin. Women are searching high and low and swiping right trying to catch a man who meets their list of marriage material credentials: a tall, attractive, college-educated, Black man with a perfect smile. Oh, and not to mention someone who isn't in these streets adding to his body count. So how is it that a man like JimDre--who meets all of the above--has been able to abstain from sex in the prime of his life?

Let's just say that his unwavering faith and undeniable self-discipline has kept him from taking a dip into the pool of temptation.

At the age of 14, JimDre made a vow that he would honor his body until marriage, and attributes his personal and professional success to having Jesus on the mainline. Abstaining from sex hasn't meant that JimDre's life is perfect. After his 30th birthday, when he went public with his story and initially became the “Worth The Wait Guy," he was in a near-fatal car accident where he was hit by a drunk driver. It totaled his car, but he walked away with only a few scratches. Instead of wondering why the God he so faithfully served would allow that to happen, JimDre looked at the accident as a blessing. He believes that it was God telling him that he was on the right path.

Even his younger sister, Jae, believes that he's "worth the wait." Earlier this year, she reached out to us advocating for her big brother. "I watched [my brother] boldly proclaim to the world via Facebook that he was a virgin at the age of 30-years-old. As his little sister and best friend, I knew this all along and of course, fully supported his decision. He did what he felt was right and believes that God put us on earth to share our gifts. His actions were nothing new to me. He made a special vow to God at age 14 to remain a virgin until marriage. Growing up he always encouraged me to follow my dreams, be a leader and have the courage to go right when everyone else goes left."

Being “Worth The Wait Guy" and proclaiming his love for the Lord continues to open doors for JimDre, who's been a guest on The Steve Harvey Show, The Tom Joyner Morning Show as well as been featured in Essence, Ebony and Jet magazines, to name a few.

We admit to becoming a little curious as well! So we reached out to JimDre (not on the "Hotline Bling") to discuss the criticism that he's faced being a virgin with tattoos, why men look at sex as a sport, and to get some must-read insight as to why women need to stop settling for “Netflix and Chill."

From a young age those who grow up in the church or in religious families are taught that sinning is inevitable, but that if we repent and ask for forgiveness, GOD will still loves us. Do you feel that abstaining from sex brings you any closer to God than someone who engages in premarital sex?

I don't think because I'm a virgin and a Christian that I'm better than anyone else; I don't think that it makes me feel a different way than the normal or average Christian. But I do think it makes sure that I have a direct and present relationship with God, which I think is the most important thing if you're a believer. My relationship with him has been tied to my abstaining and waiting for my wife. That doesn't mean that I'm perfect, I'm still human. However, I believe my choice to not have sex makes my particular relationship stronger with Him.

In the Bible, Leviticus 19:28 says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves." Are there people who think that you are being hypocritical for choosing to uphold some aspects of scripture and not others?

All my tattoos have meaning, and as mentioned, I'm not perfect. I made a personal choice to have tattoos that tell the story of my life. On my left side, I have a tat representing my fraternity, Kappa Alpha Psi and my alma mater, University of Michigan, as well as a cross to represent my relationship with God. I plan to finish my left side whenever I have a wife and kids. The tattoos on my right side tell the story of my success, the businesses that I own, and remind me of how far I've come.

I've definitely been approached by people who question if I'm really a virgin and a Christian because I have tattoos. Me being “Worth The Wait Guy" is me being the vessel to tell others it's cool to live at your own pace and keep God first. People always want to challenge me about it, but God has always been my foundation, it's an interesting dynamic.

I'm sure you're familiar with "Netflix and Chill" where there isn't any courtship, it's just men and women hanging out and engaging in sexual acts. Why do you think so many women are so willing to settle for short-term affection?

Women get frustrated, especially the good, quality women who don't want to settle, who have high respect and high regards for themselves. But they just aren't finding what they want and what they deserve. As time goes by and they aren't getting exactly what they feel they need, they choose to settle. These great women end up entertaining guys who oftentimes aren't on their level--who don't even deserve a 'hello' from them, but they're persistent. If we want something, we go for it. If a guy wants you, your conversation, your time, if he wants to be something to you, he's going to be very clear about his intentions.

I often hear women say that "all the good guys are taken," but can't help but to think that maybe they haven't done the work to figure out why they're continuously attracting the same type of man. A lot of women get complacent because they don't want to be alone so they start lowering their standards.

That's how you end up having so many short-term "hookups" where you're telling a guy to come through because you're frustrated with what your life looks like and you've gotten off track from waiting for the real prize.

You have to stay focused and have faith. That's one of the reasons why I can be a 31-year-old virgin, because I've never lost faith. Of course, there have been times when I say, 'God I'm still here, hope you haven't forgotten about me! You can bring 'her' to me whenever you want.' You're going to get down on yourself, and you may wonder why it's taking so long. But you have to wait on God.

He's always on time and he's going to deliver on his promises when you're ready!

You have to be ready for the specific things that you're asking God to give you. And you have to ask yourself, what are you really doing with your life to get ready to receive what you're asking for?

To your understanding, why do guys feel the need to have sex with so many women and compare body counts? Why is sex such a sport for men?

Not to say that women aren't competitive, but men are competitive about everything. Most of us played sports growing up where we we're taught to be better than the next man. From birth we learn that in playing a game the objective is to get somewhere before the next person. As it pertains to women, a lot of men look at it like it's a game, and if the objective is to be “the man," how can I do that if I only have one girl? The more women you're involved with means the more “game" you have. It gives you leverage and it means you have options. It also makes some men feel like they're an “expert" when it comes to women because they've been with so many.

I, on the other hand, don't look at it like that. It's not hard to engage women in conversations and date multiple women; the challenge is trying to put all of that time and effort into one woman because now you're dealing with real feelings. You're getting into what most men don't want to deal with because when you're playing all of these games and juggling all these women, there isn't any depth to that.

Sex is oftentimes just competition with men to one up our friends.

It's just a pressure that's been placed on us from a young age but if you don't buy into that and you live at your own pace then you're okay with your one girlfriend and not out chasing multiple women. Choose to make that decision for yourself then you don't have to do what everyone else is doing.

It seems easier said than done to abstain from sex once you've been sexually active. What advice do you have for women, or even young men, who have been sexually active but want to figure out how to begin abstaining?

Pray about it. If you believe in God you have to take this to Him because if you try to figure it out by yourself, it's just not gonna happen. Be open, honest and transparent about your intentions. If a man wants to give up and abstain from sex, he has to pray for guidance and discipline, then he'll get the love and support he needs from God. Whether or not you go to church, you can always pray. Then you have to make changes in your everyday life. If you spent your free time engaging in sexual activity now you need to figure out something constructive to do with your time. Whether it's going to the gym, taking a class, doing community service, whatever. You need a plan so you're not idle and you can remain steadfast and faithful to your goal.

You're the co-owner of a clothing line, LAYOP (Live At Your Own Pace). There's always been unwritten rules about what you should have accomplished at a particular age, and social media adds to those pressures. Can you speak to how we can "Live At [Our] Own Pace" without seeming less ambitious or less accomplished as our peers?

Live At Your Own Pace clothing is about doing what makes you happy in life. Growing up we're told, that we're supposed to graduate college at 22, have the perfect job by 25, get married by 28 and have all of your kids by 32 everyone paints that picture of how life is supposed to happen if you want to win. The LAYOP movement is rooted in the story of the tortoise and the hare. You may not get where you want as fast as your peers or as fast as your parents want you to get there, but all that matters is that you're living a happy life. If you live at your own pace, you're going to win.

What are some of your go-to scriptures that have helped you throughout your celibacy?

Romans 12:1-2 talks about keeping your body pure in God's perfect and pleasing will, not conforming to the world because your body is a living and holy sacrifice. I've sacrificed my body by not having sex and giving that to God because that's his perfect and pleasing will. Again, I'm not perfect, but the type of relationship I have with God I want to keep that as pure as I can.

At times, we're all going to miss the mark, but I'm the “Worth The Wait Guy" because I know God is worth the wait, and I want Him to always know that.

It's one of those scriptures that's helped me to maintain the path that I've been walking on. Now if abstinence or celibacy isn't necessarily for you and you just need a verse to uplift you, Proverbs 3:5-6: 'Trust in the Lord with everything you do and do not to lean into your own understanding. Acknowledge Him and He'll direct your path." Those verses apply to your everyday life. It doesn't matter what you're doing, God should always be present. If He's with you, you can't lose.

You can learn more about JimDre by visiting his website Worththewaitguy.com

Update: It's been two years since we first featured JimDre and he is still walking in celibacy. He recently posted on Instagram:

When I had the pleasure to share my story with @xonecole two years ago to this day. A lot has changed since this day. I'm way closer to God, my celibacy walk has strengthened, my divine purpose has realized and I even grew a decent beard. The wait is real and I'm still waiting for Him, y'all.

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
Sign up

Featured image by Shutterstock

If there's one thing Historically Black Universities are known, it's fostering a sense of interconnectedness for collaborative genius to thrive. Of all campuses, it was on the soil of The Mecca, Howard University, where She'Neil Johnson-Spencer and Nicolette Graves rooted their friendship and aligned their passion for beauty and natural brains. Today, the two have founded a skincare brand of their own, Base Butter, that has not only carved out their niche space in the market but rallied a community of women to glow from the inside out.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.

This is Maya's story, written by Charmin Michelle.

I know this may come to a surprise so many, but here we are. Yes, I got a BBL. If you aren't aware, a BBL is a Brazilian Butt Lift, a cosmetic surgery process where the doctor uses a combination of liposuction and fat-grafting, transfers the fat into the butt, resulting in added volume, defined curves, and a lift. It is technically lipo and a fat transfer. But yeah girl, this has been on my to-do list for a while. And now that I am able to afford it, I went for it.

Keep reading... Show less

As an extension of my monthly self-care routines, facials have become top priority when it comes to maintaining healthy skin. For months I've noticed excess oil, stubborn breakouts and dry cracked lips forcing me to seek an alternative to my everyday skincare routine. Unable to solve my skincare troubles, I decided it was time to seek the help of a professional to help revive my dull skin.

Keep reading... Show less

I will never make an apology for the fact that I adore the Scriptures. There is something very, remarkable is the word that comes to mind, about the fact that even all of these years later (thousands and thousands of years later), there is so much wisdom within the Bible that is still relevant and — if you want to live a content life — even necessary. Matter of fact, some of the people in my world who aren't Bible followers or even believers in God will admit to me that Proverbs (King Solomon's book of wisdom) has some real gems in it.

Keep reading... Show less

August invites you to shine bright like the sun which requires you to leave behind the sob stories of being the underdog. Recognize your power as a reflection of the Divine and watch how far you can go. Be mindful of that inner critic when Mercury enters Virgo. For every negative thought, counteract it with three compliments about yourself. When Venus enters her home sign, relationship matters get a whole lot sweeter after the wild ride that was Mercury Retrograde.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Exclusive: Find Confidence With This Summer Workout Created By A Black Woman For Black Women

Tone & Sculpt trainer Danyele Wilson makes fitness goals attainable.

Latest Posts