Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
July is a month of connection, hope, planning, and rejuvenation. The energy begins to settle more this month after a somewhat dramatic June. This is when new relationship developments will be taking place, and when the power of love, understanding, and connectivity prevails. We enter July in Cancer Season, and when the Sun is in Cancer emotions are high, but so is the love. There is more nurturing and caring energy flowing through the world this month and you will feel it strongly as you move through it.
The month begins with Neptune going retrograde in Pisces from July 2 until December 7. Neptune retrograde makes things a little foggy for now, and inner clarity may feel more challenging to grab ahold of. Overall, Neptune moving into retrograde motion tells us our dreams have the power to become a reality, but make sure you balance your realistic goals with the hope you have for it all. Mercury moves into Leo on the same day, and Mercury in this fire sign brings the heat into communication matters. Mercury in Leo wants to perform. Conversations are more drastic and intense for the time being, and this transit will allow you to feel more confident in what you have to say while giving space for others to do so as well.
The Month Ahead: Your July 2024 Horoscopes
On July 5, the New Moon of the month occurs. This New Moon will be in Cancer, joining the Sun. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for your emotional world and to not only visualize what you want in your life right now but to take the time to truly feel into it. Take a relaxing bath, go to the beach, light a candle of intention, and do what feels soothing and nurturing to your life during this time.
On July 11, Venus moves into Leo, and Venus in Leo is a proud lover. Venus, the planet of love, being in this bold fire sign brings passion to romantic and relationship matters. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first right now and to go after the love you want, while knowing you deserve the best for yourself. This is a time of recognizing your desires in love.
Mars leaves Taurus and enters Gemini on July 20, and this is bringing a little chaos to the emotional waters of Cancer Season. Mars in Gemini is proactive but can also be reactive, and we are being asked to think things through before acting on them. The day after, there is a Full Moon in Capricorn, and this is the Strawberry Moon of the year. This Full Moon is all about letting go of self-sabotage and recognizing the growth, skills, and achievements you have created in your life thus far.
This Full Moon is about checking in, doing the work, and letting go of old belief systems that don’t serve you. Don’t underestimate yourself right now.
Leo Season officially begins on July 22 this year, and this Leo Season will be interesting as Mercury will be going retrograde later in August. On July 25, Mercury moves out of Leo and enters Virgo, and Mercury feels more powerful here. Mercury will be in Virgo until August 14, and communication is more clear, direct, and thoughtful. Mercury in Virgo asks all the right questions, and your power is in the details right now.
Before July comes to an end, Chiron goes retrograde in Aries from July 26 until December 29, and healing takes priority right now. While Chiron is retrograde, this is a good time to be proactive with your healing and the things that matter to you and to focus on renewing your inner power and living a confident life. Overall, July is about doing what is best for you, your heart, and your peace of mind.
What July 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Read for your sun sign and rising sign below to see what the month has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for the month is to take your time with what you are developing and to consider all options, Aries. The Sun is in your 4th house of home and family for most of the month, and you need more time to decompress right now. You are moving through July with a sense of purpose but also with more of a need to emotionally regulate and understand your inner world better. Venus will be entering a more romantic area of your birth chart on July 11, and this is going to be spicing things up for you in life and love.
On July 21, there is a Full Moon occurring in your 10th house of career, reputation, and achievement, and this is a good time to take a look at how far you have come. Work matters are culminating and some important projects are seeing completion now. Before the month ends, Chiron goes retrograde in your sign until the end of the year, and you are going to be learning more about what it means to love yourself, heal, and ask the tough questions.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about getting the right head space and heart space, Taurus. A lot is developing for you right now, but it may be hard to notice your progress because things are moving as quickly as you have hoped. With a New Moon happening on July 5, in the area of the birth chart having to do with communication, you are receiving some important divine guidance as the month begins.
Set your intentions for mental clarity and allow yourself to be heard right now as you never know what may spark the right conversations that need to be had.
Venus, your ruling planet, enters Leo and moves into your 4th house on July 11. This transit for you will be all about bringing love and compassion into the home and feeling a stronger support system in your life. Find your people and connect more with the people you resonate with and feel safe with. Before the month ends there is a Full Moon happening in an adventurous area of your birth chart, and the things you took a leap of faith on over the past month, are coming full circle for you now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about creating boundaries and putting your well-being first, Gemini. Gemini Season is over, but there is still a lot on your plate as your responsibilities accumulate. With the Sun in your 2nd house of income for most of the month, you are focused on your financial world right now and are creating new plans for your growth here. The New Moon on July 5, will be helping you set the right intentions for your abundance and will be showing you what has been blocking your flow here.
Venus enters your 3rd house of communication on July 11, and this is bringing in more connection and understanding in your life. Mid-July you are feeling more of the coming together with others that you have been looking for this month. On July 20, Mars enters your sign where it will be until September 4, and you have more energy, charisma, and direction with you now. This summer is going to be very active for you, and you are going to be having a lot of fun.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is all about opportunity, Cancer. It’s officially Cancer Season, and it’s your time to be bold, be confident, and go after your heart’s desires. The month begins with a New Moon in your sign on July 5, and this is a good time to set intentions for your personal goals, self-love, and self-care. This New Moon is all about getting back to you and giving yourself the love and nurturing you so often give to others.
On July 21, there is a Full Moon in your opposite sign, Capricorn, and this Full Moon is bringing things full circle when it comes to love and finances.
You have been working on your personal development this month and have been putting yourself first more, and towards the end of July, you are seeing the benefits this has brought to your close relationships and your financial reality. Cancer Season ends on July 22, the Sun moves into your house of income, and you are putting your financial goals more to the forefront. While the Sun is in Leo, your abundance increases and you are going to be seeing growth here over the next month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is a healing month for you, Leo. You are learning more about your heart this month, and are healing through understanding and acknowledging your past. The month begins with Mercury moving into your sign on July 2, and more clarity and understanding are coming in for you now. Mercury in Leo makes matters of the mind more prominent for you, and you are coming up with some good ideas and perspectives right now that are helping you through what is thrown your way this month.
On July 11, Venus enters Leo and love takes a turn for the better. There may have been some challenges of feeling the love in support in your life recently, and you are moving away from this energy now as you recognize the need to give yourself the love you have been seeking. Leo Season officially begins on July 22, and it’s time to shine in your truth. This Leo Season will have some ups and downs as Mercury will be going retrograde in your sign for two weeks so overall, this is your month to renew, and gain clarity.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is all about having fun, Virgo. You are in high spirits this month, and there is a lot to celebrate in your life. You are feeling more friendship, connection, and overall joy this month, and this energy is more prevalent for you with the Sun in your 11th house of hopes, dreams, and manifestations for most of July. Mercury will be in your house of closure and endings as we enter the month, however, and you are experiencing a big letting go in your life as well.
The Full Moon of July is happening in a fellow earth sign, Capricorn, and romance is high for you during this time.
This Full Moon is giving you clarity on matters of the heart, and love feels more stable and secure right now. On July 25, Mercury enters your sign where it will be until August 14, and Mercury is your ruling planet and loves being in your sign. You are going to be learning a lot through communication matters over the next few weeks and will be taking more time to consider how you want to communicate and come across.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is about creating abundance in your life, Libra. This is an active month for you as you take on new opportunities and thrive in what you are working towards. With the Sun in your 10th house of career for most of July, you are focused on making your goals a reality and taking on more responsibilities here. Venus moves into your 11th house of hopes, dreams, and friendship on July 11th, and this is going to help you navigate the new direction this part of your life is headed in this month.
The Full Moon of the month is a fortunate time for you and will be occurring on July 21st. This Full Moon is bringing things full circle for you in the home, and creating an emotional clarity that makes you feel safer with where you are in life and who is by your side. Before July ends, Chiron goes Retrograde in your sister sign Aries, and your love life is going to be moving through a transformation for the rest of the year. Chiron Retrograde is going to be helping you overcome any issues with codependency.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about patience and communicating effectively Scorpio. The Sun is in an adventurous and transformative area of your birth chart for most of the month, and this is a good time to travel or to think about the things you want to do in life. There is a New Moon in this same area of your chart on July 5, and it’s all about setting your intentions for adventure, inspiration, and spirituality as you start the month.
On July 11, Venus enters your 10th house of career, and you are going to be receiving more recognition, love, and support on the job.
How you are coming across to others is being received more favorably during this time, and it’s your time to show up and show out. There is a Full Moon occurring at the end of the month on July 21, and this Full Moon will be giving you some significant divine guidance. Important messages are coming in as you end the month, and you are making your voice heard.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving through a personal awakening this month, Sagittarius. The month begins with a New Moon in your 8th house of transformation on July 5, and this New Moon is all about setting intentions for your path in life and your important commitments. Look at where you are and where you want to be, and if you are receiving the same type of energy you want to be given. You are finding your balance as you enter the month overall, and you are going to be moving through a lot of changes this month as you find your way and gain some clarity.
Venus moves into a fellow Fire Sign, Leo from July 11 until August 4, and love is a source of happiness and adventure for you during this time. You are going to be feeling the love when you step out of your comfort zone more, approach things with confidence, and keep an open mind. On July 26, Chiron goes Retrograde in Aries, and this is going to change the pace for you romantically. While Chiron is retrograde in your 5th house, you are going to be defining and redefining your happiness in life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about moving on and moving forward Capricorn. You are moving through a time of clarity, love, and also personal healing, as you recognize what is no longer serving you or your heart anymore. The New Moon happening on July 5, will be a good time for you to set your intentions for the heart, and for the relationships that feel right for you and that you want to continue to develop over the next month.
The Full Moon of the month will be happening in your sign on July 21, and all eyes are on you right now. This Full Moon is bringing all things to do with your personal goals, health, and self-image, to the forefront. Let go of perceiving yourself with anything less than love, confidence, and support during this time. Before the month ends, Chiron goes retrograde in your 4th house of home, foundations, and inner world, and you are going to be moving through a time of deep healing and emotional renewal for the rest of the year.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is a big month of growth for you, Aquarius. You are feeling courageous and energized when it comes to your goals, daily life, and the progress you are making right now. The Sun is in your 6th house of work and health for most of the month, and you are really working hard in July and taking care of some important responsibilities and duties. Venus moves into your opposite sign on July 11th, and you are receiving more support mid-month, and are feeling the love in your life.
There is a Full Moon happening on July 21, and this Full Moon is a time of closure and endings for you. You are letting go of what once was, and creating space for the new to enter your life. You have been through a journey of self-growth this month and you are bringing this energy into your inner world and inner harmony as well. On July 22, the Sun moves into Leo and enters a romantic and loving area of your birth chart. You are ending the month in high spirits and with love on your side.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is an eye-opening month for you, Pisces. You are moving through a lot of transformations this month and are focused on creating more clarity in your life. Neptune goes retrograde in your sign from July 2 until the end of the year, and you are entering a time of taking the rose-colored glasses off and seeing the truth of what’s been hidden. On July 5, there is a New Moon in your 5th house of romance, and it’s time to set your intentions for love, but also for what will make you personally happy in life and make you feel like you are living in your authentic truth.
On July 21, the Full Moon in Capricorn brings clarity regarding your hopes and dreams in life and your community. You are recognizing more of a need to be around like-minded souls and people who have similar goals as you, and you are going to be seeing new ways how to get there. Overall, there are a lot of growth moments happening for you in July, and you are learning through the inner awakening that is taking place for you now.
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
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Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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