Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Brittni Mealy is the ruler of her own universe - the Unicorn Universe, that is. As the creator and founder of clothing brand Unicorn Universe, the fashion enthusiast and serial self-starting entrepreneur went from working three jobs at once to being one of the most sought after talents and businesswomen in the fashion and luxury lifestyle space.
The Detroit native was so inspired by her own accomplishments that she wanted to pay it forward with a self-help book, Rich Bi$h Energy: A Self Love Guide To Millions, which was released in early October 2020. "I wanted to do this book because in my personal life, I had to realize that for your business and brand to be consistent, it starts with knowing your worth and setting the standard for how people should treat you. You have to have your mind and energy right in order to have your business right," Mealy told xoNecole.
Rich Bi$h Energy is said to hone in specifically on the relationship between finance and business and the art of self-love, manifestation and self-discovery. Ultimately, Mealy's work of literature is the phrase "create the life you love" in an interactive book with healthy growth-stimulating activities and self-love mantras. Regarding the correlation between self-love and financial security, Mealy shared, "If your peace of mind isn't right, your money isn't going to be right. If you have toxic people or toxic energy around you, you can't perform at your best."
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the Unicorn University HBIC about the importance of celebrating the little wins, her exit plan of selling her brand for millions of dollars, and being a dancer at a nightclub to provide for her two kids.
On the most rewarding and challenging parts of establishing Unicorn Universe:
"The most challenging thing I've encountered during my business was actually believing in my brand and knowing that I could be successful at it. Something else that was challenging to me was putting a team in place. I've missed out on a lot of opportunities in business because I was trying to do everything myself. When I finally got out of my own way, and put a team in place, I was able to flourish."
On how much she makes per month:
"$150,000/month. I try to save as much money as I can with my business (around $20,000 a month). I don't have a set number to save."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"I define success as any goal that you've set out to do and you accomplish it. I feel like that is a reward within itself. I don't think people give themselves enough credit for taking the little steps towards reaching their goals. Small wins count too! Wealth to me is when you build your business or brand up to the point where you've created generational wealth for your family."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"I remember I was working a 40-hour/week job and I had two kids at the time and I wanted to fix up my kids' room, and I wanted to fix up my kids' bathroom, so I went to Walmart to go shopping for the items, and I didn't have enough to get everything. That was my lowest moment because I felt as though I couldn't provide for my kids.
"I started to hustle, I really got off my ass and started to make things happen! I knew I didn't want to live the way I was living and I knew I wanted to do better for my kids and myself so I started putting 100 percent into achieving my goal of becoming 'overly financially stable'. I took $500 and ordered my first wholesale pieces, and that's when I launched my first-ever online boutique, and being that I already had an Instagram following, I started promoting my business every day and telling as many people as I could about my business, and surely orders started coming in!"
Courtesy of Niya Skyy/Skyy Level Media
"I started to hustle, I really got off my ass and started to make things happen! I knew I didn't want to live the way I was living and I knew I wanted to do better for my kids and myself so I started putting 100 percent into achieving my goal of becoming 'overly financially stable'."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"I'm not a really big spender! I don't make too many crazy purchases. I get gifted a lot of things, and I like to say, 'Don't worry about how I'm having it, just know I'm having it, if you know what I mean.' I've just been fortunate enough to have it. The most expensive thing I've ever gifted was a car for my best friend, it cost about $15,000 and it was significant because she really needed a car at the time so she could get her kids back and forth to where they needed to go. I couldn't stand to see her struggling so I had to step in to help her."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"When it comes to my coins I'm a saver, but when it comes to other people's coins, I'm a big spender! I do a great job at saving my money, I've always been a good saver. However, I've been blessed to be in situations where I haven't really had to spend my own money, such as certain relationships where my partner has taken care of a lot of expenses, which allowed me to save my money."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"Eventually, I would love to sell one of my brands for [millions]. That's my exit plan. I would like to sell my Unicorn Universe USA brand because it's become so popular now. We have dedicated shoppers that purchase anytime we drop a new collection, and it's turned into really a whole unicorn cult, where our customers really feel like they are a part of our unicorn community, so I definitely see that brand continuing to grown. I plan to sell the brand when by time I turn 40 hopefully."
On the importance of investing:
"I reinvest into my own company, because I know I have a strong enough following that I can always bet on my business! I also invest in stocks. My top two grossing stocks are Tesla and Zoom. Eventually I would like to get into real estate and invest that way."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My intentions behind having multiple streams of income was because when one business gets slow, I always have a Plan B! Thankfully, I have three businesses that are all successful, but at least when one of them gets slow I know I'm not going to starve because I still have other income coming in."
Courtesy of Niya Skyy/Skyy Level Media
"Scared money doesn't make any money! I used to be nervous about investing large amounts of money into my business or spending a lot of money on inventory, but if you want your money to grow, you have to spend money to make money which is why I always invest back into my business."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"Scared money doesn't make any money! I used to be nervous about investing large amounts of money into my business or spending a lot of money on inventory, but if you want your money to grow, you have to spend money to make money which is why I always invest back into my business. After I started making money from my business and believing in my business, I became more comfortable with taking more risks in my business, and once I did that, everything started to go up from there."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"I wouldn't say that this is crazy, but I did use to be a dancer in the strip club. I just remember dancing for $5 [per] song, and that was one of the lowest times of my life, but I had two kids to support so I had to hustle. I started dancing simply because I needed the money, and I needed money fast! I've always known I could dance and have a nice body, and I heard how easy it would be for me to make money so I decided to dance. I'm very open about me being a dancer before and I don't regret it because I did what I had to do to survive at the time."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"Being scared, being timid, worrying about if people were going to support my business, instead of just focusing on my business early on in my career. I finally decided to trust my intuition after seeing that I was really, really good at designing. I kind of always knew I had a talent for fashion, but once I started getting custom pieces made and people loved them, I knew it was time to take that big step and move in to designing and honestly me trusting my talent changed my life!"
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent?
"$4,500/month."
Eating out/ordering in?
"$2,000/month."
Gas/car note?
"$200 per month [on gas]."
Personal expenses?
"$5,000 per month."
For more information on Brittni, follow her on Instagram and shop Unicorn Universe.
Featured Image Courtesy of Niya Skyy/Skyy Level Media
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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