Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Brittni Mealy is the ruler of her own universe - the Unicorn Universe, that is. As the creator and founder of clothing brand Unicorn Universe, the fashion enthusiast and serial self-starting entrepreneur went from working three jobs at once to being one of the most sought after talents and businesswomen in the fashion and luxury lifestyle space.
The Detroit native was so inspired by her own accomplishments that she wanted to pay it forward with a self-help book, Rich Bi$h Energy: A Self Love Guide To Millions, which was released in early October 2020. "I wanted to do this book because in my personal life, I had to realize that for your business and brand to be consistent, it starts with knowing your worth and setting the standard for how people should treat you. You have to have your mind and energy right in order to have your business right," Mealy told xoNecole.
Rich Bi$h Energy is said to hone in specifically on the relationship between finance and business and the art of self-love, manifestation and self-discovery. Ultimately, Mealy's work of literature is the phrase "create the life you love" in an interactive book with healthy growth-stimulating activities and self-love mantras. Regarding the correlation between self-love and financial security, Mealy shared, "If your peace of mind isn't right, your money isn't going to be right. If you have toxic people or toxic energy around you, you can't perform at your best."
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the Unicorn University HBIC about the importance of celebrating the little wins, her exit plan of selling her brand for millions of dollars, and being a dancer at a nightclub to provide for her two kids.
On the most rewarding and challenging parts of establishing Unicorn Universe:
"The most challenging thing I've encountered during my business was actually believing in my brand and knowing that I could be successful at it. Something else that was challenging to me was putting a team in place. I've missed out on a lot of opportunities in business because I was trying to do everything myself. When I finally got out of my own way, and put a team in place, I was able to flourish."
On how much she makes per month:
"$150,000/month. I try to save as much money as I can with my business (around $20,000 a month). I don't have a set number to save."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"I define success as any goal that you've set out to do and you accomplish it. I feel like that is a reward within itself. I don't think people give themselves enough credit for taking the little steps towards reaching their goals. Small wins count too! Wealth to me is when you build your business or brand up to the point where you've created generational wealth for your family."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"I remember I was working a 40-hour/week job and I had two kids at the time and I wanted to fix up my kids' room, and I wanted to fix up my kids' bathroom, so I went to Walmart to go shopping for the items, and I didn't have enough to get everything. That was my lowest moment because I felt as though I couldn't provide for my kids.
"I started to hustle, I really got off my ass and started to make things happen! I knew I didn't want to live the way I was living and I knew I wanted to do better for my kids and myself so I started putting 100 percent into achieving my goal of becoming 'overly financially stable'. I took $500 and ordered my first wholesale pieces, and that's when I launched my first-ever online boutique, and being that I already had an Instagram following, I started promoting my business every day and telling as many people as I could about my business, and surely orders started coming in!"
Courtesy of Niya Skyy/Skyy Level Media
"I started to hustle, I really got off my ass and started to make things happen! I knew I didn't want to live the way I was living and I knew I wanted to do better for my kids and myself so I started putting 100 percent into achieving my goal of becoming 'overly financially stable'."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"I'm not a really big spender! I don't make too many crazy purchases. I get gifted a lot of things, and I like to say, 'Don't worry about how I'm having it, just know I'm having it, if you know what I mean.' I've just been fortunate enough to have it. The most expensive thing I've ever gifted was a car for my best friend, it cost about $15,000 and it was significant because she really needed a car at the time so she could get her kids back and forth to where they needed to go. I couldn't stand to see her struggling so I had to step in to help her."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"When it comes to my coins I'm a saver, but when it comes to other people's coins, I'm a big spender! I do a great job at saving my money, I've always been a good saver. However, I've been blessed to be in situations where I haven't really had to spend my own money, such as certain relationships where my partner has taken care of a lot of expenses, which allowed me to save my money."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"Eventually, I would love to sell one of my brands for [millions]. That's my exit plan. I would like to sell my Unicorn Universe USA brand because it's become so popular now. We have dedicated shoppers that purchase anytime we drop a new collection, and it's turned into really a whole unicorn cult, where our customers really feel like they are a part of our unicorn community, so I definitely see that brand continuing to grown. I plan to sell the brand when by time I turn 40 hopefully."
On the importance of investing:
"I reinvest into my own company, because I know I have a strong enough following that I can always bet on my business! I also invest in stocks. My top two grossing stocks are Tesla and Zoom. Eventually I would like to get into real estate and invest that way."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My intentions behind having multiple streams of income was because when one business gets slow, I always have a Plan B! Thankfully, I have three businesses that are all successful, but at least when one of them gets slow I know I'm not going to starve because I still have other income coming in."
Courtesy of Niya Skyy/Skyy Level Media
"Scared money doesn't make any money! I used to be nervous about investing large amounts of money into my business or spending a lot of money on inventory, but if you want your money to grow, you have to spend money to make money which is why I always invest back into my business."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"Scared money doesn't make any money! I used to be nervous about investing large amounts of money into my business or spending a lot of money on inventory, but if you want your money to grow, you have to spend money to make money which is why I always invest back into my business. After I started making money from my business and believing in my business, I became more comfortable with taking more risks in my business, and once I did that, everything started to go up from there."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"I wouldn't say that this is crazy, but I did use to be a dancer in the strip club. I just remember dancing for $5 [per] song, and that was one of the lowest times of my life, but I had two kids to support so I had to hustle. I started dancing simply because I needed the money, and I needed money fast! I've always known I could dance and have a nice body, and I heard how easy it would be for me to make money so I decided to dance. I'm very open about me being a dancer before and I don't regret it because I did what I had to do to survive at the time."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"Being scared, being timid, worrying about if people were going to support my business, instead of just focusing on my business early on in my career. I finally decided to trust my intuition after seeing that I was really, really good at designing. I kind of always knew I had a talent for fashion, but once I started getting custom pieces made and people loved them, I knew it was time to take that big step and move in to designing and honestly me trusting my talent changed my life!"
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent?
"$4,500/month."
Eating out/ordering in?
"$2,000/month."
Gas/car note?
"$200 per month [on gas]."
Personal expenses?
"$5,000 per month."
For more information on Brittni, follow her on Instagram and shop Unicorn Universe.
Featured Image Courtesy of Niya Skyy/Skyy Level Media
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A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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