Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
At only 24 years old, Mykail James is the founder of BoujieBudgets.com, an online platform dedicated to teaching Generation Z professionals how to finance and live their best spending savvy lives! The self-proclaimed "Boujie Budgeter" told xoNecole that she makes $71,000 annually, with a rough estimated monthly income of $3,500, which makes total sense after graduating with her MBA focused in accounting and shortly after becoming a Certified Financial Literacy Instructor. The Hampton University graduate now implements modern-day pop culture references and Gen Z jargon to better breakdown budgeting, saving and investing.
Aside from being a well-respected financial analyst, Mykail James is taking the fiscally responsible road of a young woman in her 20s by saving her coins and living with her parents. "I am blessed to live at home with my parents, but I am saving up for a home and dedicate $1,300/month to my future home," she admitted to xoNecole. There's no shame in her game and we absolutely love that she is making everything right before up and leaving her parents' pad.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the Washington, D.C. bred budgeting expert about her tactics to save more by making access into her accounts harder, her parents not allowing her to work through college and her four category budget breakdown.
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"Wealth is constant, sustainable access to financial means. I define success as creating the life of desire. Success is not a specific thing, it is a collection of accomplishments that create a desired life and feeling. Success is a constant state of life happiness."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"My parents, specifically my dad, signed a Parent Plus Loan to put me through college. I have my own $75K student loan bill, but one day I saw his total bill. His bill totaled over $100K and my stomach dropped. My parents worked so hard and the only way we could afford college was through loans and it put lots of things into perspective. It's a constant reminder of what I'm working towards. The first thing I did was purchase a life insurance policy, because I wanted to be sure that my father could afford to pay off my debts if the unthinkable happened. I realigned my goals and created a new vision of what financial freedom would look like. It no longer only involved my freedom, but also my parents."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"My biggest splurge was a $5K VIP Day for a business coaching program. I bought it because I thought it would be the magic key to creating a great and profitable business. It did not."
Mykail James/Tequilla White PR
"Wealth is constant, sustainable access to financial means. I define success as creating the life of desire."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I consider myself a saving spender. I love spending my money on experiences, great restaurants, and traveling. Because I know I can overspend if I don't watch myself, I created a separate spending account. I give myself $200 in spending money every paycheck, so about $400/month. I also make it extremely hard to get access to my savings. I use vehicles like Certificate Deposits (CDs) and unlink my high yield savings accounts from my other bank accounts."
On the importance of investing:
"10% of all my income is dedicated to investing outside of my 401(k) plan. Investing is the true key to financial freedom and when your investments pay for your lifestyle, you create real sustainable wealth. I invest in my 401(k), Roth IRA, individual stocks, index funds, and I am an angel investor in some small businesses."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"Currently, my savings goal looks like having 18 months of living expenses to take a corporate sabbatical. I don't want to work my entire life and then retire. If that's what adult life is, I don't ever want it. My goal is to take 'mini-retirements' throughout my corporate career and have enough cash flow to take on any role without financial stress. When I get to traditional retirement age, I see myself part of angel investing groups giving financial access to the new wave of entrepreneurs."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"Diversified bank accounts and automation. There are three basic bank accounts at separate banking institutions I need to have: Bill pay, high-yield savings, and spending. Also, having my bills on autopay and direct deposit is how my budget stays on track."
Mykail James/Tequilla White PR
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My revenue streams [are]: Content Creation, Books, Speaking, Workshops, Events. It took a while to truly understand where my revenue comes from. Entrepreneurship is new for me, it was never my intention to become an entrepreneur. But I had to be true to myself and learn what I like about my work. I enjoy creating engaging, informational content and speaking. Those are the parts of the business that I love and those are the skills I work to perfect the most.
"Multiple streams in my business make sense because I want financial literacy to be accessed in several ways. For those who cannot afford books or live instruction, they still get lots of valuable and actionable information from my content. And while I would teach and create content for free, it's expensive to create quality content and lesson plans. To continue, I have to have multiple streams."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"I had to let go of using my age as a limiting factor and letting society determine the life I desire. I have been looking for a blueprint for the life I want and trying to stick myself into other predetermined paths. When I realized that there isn't a blueprint already created, I began to dream bigger. There is no age limit for happiness and living the life you deserve. I began practicing gratitude for the life I have in the present, the life I have lived in the past, and the life I will live in the future. Bigger dreams opened my mind to creating the life I truly want to live. I understand that my vision for my future is for me and if others cannot see it that's perfectly fine. They weren't blessed with my sight and I can't fault them for that."
Mykail James/Tequilla White PR
"I have been looking for a blueprint for the life I want and trying to stick myself into other predetermined paths. When I realized that there isn't a blueprint already created, I began to dream bigger. There is no age limit for happiness and living the life you deserve. I began practicing gratitude for the life I have in the present, the life I have lived in the past, and the life I will live in the future."
On her money mantra:
"I am grateful for the money in my bank account at this moment, the money that was in my bank account in the past, and the money that will be in my bank account in the future."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"My parents didn't allow me to work during college to focus on my grades. So during the summers, I would work as much as I could to save up enough money to last through the school year. One summer, I had two retail jobs and a summer internship. I got so sick because I barely slept and that's when I realized that I would never have more than one job, rather I would find a way to have one job that paid like three. I made an insane amount of money that summer but it was not worth sacrificing my health."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"My worst business decision was not asking for help. While planning the Young, Rich & Responsible Virtual Summit, I originally thought I could do everything by myself. I had a big goal but thought that the team of me is what all I needed and I quickly got overwhelmed. I almost sabotaged myself and my business by trying to keep everything to myself. When I got a team and asked people to help support me is when the event became bigger than me and helped to serve my community in a much bigger way."
On her budget breakdown:
"I break my budget down into four simple categories: Income, Expenses, Savings, and Spending. I don't try to nickel and dime myself or stress out over every line item."
Gas/car note?
"Car note is $251/month. Pre-coronavirus, I spent about $160 on gas, but now I spend less than $40 a month."
Personal expenses?
"$400."
For more information on Mykail James, follow her Instagram.
Featured Image Courtesy of Mykail James/Tequilla White Public Relations
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy
