Oprah Says The Older You Get, The Less Sh*t You Take
If you asked me that "who would you have dinner with, dead or alive" question, Oprah is definitely at the top of my list.
When she accepted her Cecile B DeMille Award at the Golden Globes, not only did I watch it at least three times, I marveled at the way she was able to express the thoughts and feelings of so many while spreading an impactful and important message all in 8 minutes or less. And when Twitter erupted with #Oprah2020, I was ready to sign up for her campaign squad.
To me, Oprah is that motherlike figure that the world needs, whether or not we deserve her. Some of us want to be like her, and even more of us want to learn from her. The media mogul dropped some gems in her an interview with InStyle Magazinethat will help us along this journey we call life, whether we are just getting started out in life or we're looking for more clarity, discernment, and ways to continue to flourish.
We all know how overwhelming the current news cycle can be. Here is what Oprah does to manage the real stress of keeping up with the news.
I don't get up and turn on the TV first thing in the morning. I spend quiet time. I try to center myself, and I'm conscious of what I allow in because there's so much all day long. I have the app that has all the news stories, so I scroll through the 5 Things You Need to Know Today and then choose which of those things I want to explore more. I try not to lean into the hysteria. I've heard a lot of Twitter chatter where people have said, "Where are you? You should be speaking up on these things!" But it makes no sense to speak when you cannot be heard. One hundred and forty characters—that is not how you want to make your mark in the world.
Many of us want to know how Oprah got to where she is in life. Obviously a lot of vision, hard work, and determination were a part of the equation, but she says that finding the lesson in each moment, good or bad, is one of the ways she approaches everything that shows up in her life.
She also finds ways to just be thankful for the little things and not just the material ones. It reminds us that when we have a dream, it takes time a patience to finally see it come to fruition.
I think back to the time in 1985 when I was away shooting The Color Purple and my dream was to have a beautiful home and be surrounded by things that matter to me. So I'm really thrilled that I've been able to create that life, the one I was dreaming of in 1985. I get a lot of comfort from that.
One of the major takeaways from this interview that we all can begin to apply in our daily lives is now my new favorite Oprah quote: "Take no sh*t."
She reveals that the older you get, the more truth and authenticity become what's important. We may not realize how much sh*t we actually take on a daily basis, and maybe if we all learn to take a little less and instead focus on what is truly authentic, we can get on a better trajectory towards our goals and dreams.
You take no sh*t. None. Not a bit. In your 40s you want to say you take no shit, but you still do. In your 60s, you take none. There's both a quickening and a calming—there's a sense that you don't have as much time on earth as you once did. For me, there's also a sense of calming about that. People coming with anything less than what is the truth or authentic? Don't even try.
What I loved most about these gems is that we can all take them in and apply them to our own lives.
Here's to taking less sh*t, focusing on the good and learning how to speak so you will actually be heard.
Read her full feature with InStyle here.
Featured image by Getty
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Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images