Your August 2024 Horoscopes Are All About Opportunity & Honoring Your Progress
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
August is a month of opportunity, and having patience with your progress. There are a lot of new beginnings and successful experiences flowing through the stars, but Mercury also goes retrograde this month, and there is a need to slow down right now as well. The month begins in Leo Season, and whenever the Sun is in a fire sign, it is always a more dynamic, passionate, and intense time for the collective.
With the New Moon of the month in Leo as well on August 4, things are heating up pretty quickly in August. The New Moon is the perfect time to set your intentions for the month and to also set your intentions for your self-confidence, personal success, and what’s going to make your heart shine. Not only do we have a New Moon on August 4, but Venus also enters the earth sign Virgo on this day as well, where she will remain until August 29.
Venus in Virgo brings more stable energy to relationship matters, and this is a time when the heart heals, priorities are recognized and unconditional love is favored. Venus in Virgo is selfless and gives love for the sake of being there for someone.
This is a good time to gain clarity within romantic matters, and to figure out what is going to be best for your health and well-being overall.
What August 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Mercury goes retrograde in August and will be retrograde in Virgo from August 5 until August 14, and then in Leo from August 14 until August 28. During the Mercury retrograde in Virgo transit, it’s all about the mind and finding healing here. Mercury is Virgo's planetary ruler so there is overall more magic felt with this transit than your typical Mercury retrograde because Virgo understands Mercury and vice versa.
While Mercury is retrograde in Leo for a few weeks, this energy may bruise some egos but overall allows people to gain clarity on self-expression, how they show up, and how they want to show up.
With all Mercury retrograde, communication matters should be taken with some extra precaution, hold off on signing any contracts unless necessary, and be more flexible with plans and changes that occur.
On August 19, we have one of the more potent Full Moons of the year, and that is the Supermoon in Aquarius, which also happens to be the Blue Moon of the year. This Supermoon is bringing in a lot of change, a lot of clarity, and the outcomes of what you have been committing to. This is a good time to let go of restrictive, self-imposed ideas of yourself, honor your freedom, and look at your authenticity with a renewed vision and sense of love. The Sun in Leo will be beaming support to us throughout the month, and this connection and support from the universe will especially be felt on this Supermoon.
Virgo Season officially begins on August 22, and it’s time to get organized, heal, do the work, and give a helping hand. When the Sun is in Virgo, we feel more inspired to get things done and take care of our well-being and the well-being of others, and this is overall a time when a lot is accomplished.
Venus enters Libra on August 29 before the month ends, and Venus is the ruling planet of Libra and feels at home here. We are leaving August with a sense of love renewed, the mind healed, and the past put behind us for good.
Read for your sun sign and rising sign below to see what the month has in store for you.
ARIES
August is a month of claiming your peace, Aries. You are in a place in your life where you have learned a lot and grown even more, and now it’s time to live in this space of renewal. You are mentally ready to heal, and there is support and encouragement around you to do so. The month begins with the Sun in your 5th house of romance, hobbies, happiness, and self-expression, and with a New Moon here on August 4, you are walking into August feeling a little more optimistic than usual. Set your intentions for the things you want to see highlighted more in your life.
Moving further into the month, there is a Super Blue Moon in Aquarius happening on August 19, and this Supermoon is a chance for you to gain clarity within your friendships and community in life.
This Full Moon is the perfect opportunity for you to let go of the idea that you are separate from the people around you, and to find gratitude in the support that is coming in for you now. Before August ends, Venus moves into your opposite sign, Libra, and this is good news for love. You are ending the month with a new sense of well-being, self-trust, and emotional harmony.
TAURUS
August is all about letting go, Taurus. You are working through a lot right now, and with the stars aligning in your 4th house of home and family for most of the month, you need some extra support and protection. This is the time to let go of the idea of how you thought things would be right now and to trust more in where they are. When Venus moves into your house of romance from August 4 until August 29, you are going to be in a good space to receive love but will have to remember to let it come to you more rather than force it.
On August 14, Mercury goes retrograde in your 4th house, and this is a good time to review matters of the home. Is your environment a space where you feel comfortable and authentic? Or are there certain things you can move around or different people you can be around? It’s all about checking in with your emotional world this month and starting from there. Before August comes to an end, a Supermoon is occurring in your 10th house of career, and some work matters are coming full circle for you now. You are receiving more support and recognition as you end the month, and remember this is a reflection of the work you’ve done within, and the love you have for yourself.
GEMINI
August is a month of success and empowerment for you, Gemini. You are feeling on top of it right now and are being seen as the successful being you are. Even though the month begins with your ruling planet going retrograde, you are navigating this time with inspiration and empowerment, and are seeing progress made. The New Moon of the month is occurring on August 4, and this New Moon is creating a breakthrough for you communication-wise. Channels are clearing, and you are getting a fresh start to use your voice, speak your mind, and create a bridge of connection to others.
Mercury, your ruling planet, will be retrograde in your 4th house from August 5 until August 14, and this is a good time to heal, spend more time at home, and nourish your inner world.
Challenges with family or close loved ones may arise during this time, and it’s showing you overall what you need to feel supported and what those around you may need as well. On August 19, there is a Supermoon in your 9th house of adventure, travel, and the higher mind, and you are moving through life with clarity. This Supermoon is a big eye-opener for you, and you are moving mountains and chasing dreams. Overall, you are rising above and claiming your power in August, Gemini.
CANCER
You are renewing financially this month, Cancer. August is a month of stepping up to the plate, working on your goals, and receiving more positive feedback. A lot of the focus of the month is on your finances, with the Sun in your second house for most of August, and you are creating a new sense of abundance in your life. With Mercury going retrograde for a few weeks at the start of the month, you are taking this time to heal any miscommunications you have been having and to take more time to understand yourself and your mind.
As a Cancer, the Full Moon of the month is always an important time for you since you are ruled by the Moon. This month, we have a Super Blue Moon in Aquarius on August 19, and you are feeling especially emotional, passionate, and empowered during this time.
This Supermoon is a chance for you to take the lead on the transformations you are moving through in your life, and to let go of some of the fears that have been keeping you away from living your truth and feeling as abundant as you should. Before August ends, Venus moves into your 4th house, the house that Cancer rules, and you will truly feel at home, supported, and in tune this month.
LEO
You are in a good space this month, Leo. You are feeling in harmony emotionally, and have a good balance between the give and take in your life. Not only is August the heart of Leo Season, but it’s also a time when new beginnings occur. On August 4, there is a New Moon in Leo, and this is really when you are going to be experiencing a fresh start in your life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for your progress, confidence, and the way you see yourself or want to show up in the world. On the same day, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and this new beginning may come through by letting something go in the process.
Mercury will be retrograde from August 5 until August 28 and will be retrograde in your sign from August 14 until August 28. Take your time with what you are pushing forth right now, and be a little more cautious with what you are communicating and how you are expressing it. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your opposite sign, Aquarius, and this is providing the healing and compassion in love that you have been looking for. This Supermoon is about letting go of your past relationships to honor the new ones that are blooming for you now.
VIRGO
August is a month of financial success for you, Virgo. You are receiving the energy you have put out there, and that means an increase of abundance, support, and balance in your life. Your intentions are manifesting for you, and this is a good month for feeling supported by the work you have done. Venus enters Virgo at the start of August and will be in your sign from August 4 until August 29, making love and financial matters more favorable for you during this time.
Extra support and love are here for you this month, and this is needed with Mercury going retrograde. Mercury retrograde begins in your sign and ends in Leo this month.
It will be retrograde in Virgo from August 5 until August 14, and your guidance for this time is to take things a little slower, trust your process, and not get ahead of yourself or the things you are bringing forth right now. Virgo Season officially begins on August 22 this year, and it’s your time to shine! Virgo Season this year is bringing a lot of transformation, and August is the perfect month to thrive and flourish before a change of energy comes into play.
LIBRA
New beginnings are here for you emotionally this month, Libra. This month is bringing you a fresh start, but it’s coming through by putting in the work and taking time to listen to your heart more. August begins with Venus moving into Virgo from August 4 through August 29 until it enters your sign. While Venus is in Virgo, she is in your 12th house of closure, and you are letting go of the past in love in order to renew and enjoy the gifts of the present. Don’t bring what happened back then into what can happen for you in the future in love, and give yourself a clean slate this month.
Mercury goes retrograde in August and will be retrograde in your 11th house from August 14 until August 28. Give your friendships and your hopes and dreams some time to bloom without getting too caught up in perfection or the ego right now. Remember, everything happens for a reason this month, and that the universe is working with you and not against you. Venus officially enters your sign on August 29 where she will be until September 22, and you enter a month of love. The new beginnings you are seeing in your love life at the end of the month are here to stay, and you are getting the opportunity to experience a deeper connection to romance.
SCORPIO
August is about living a fulfilled life, Scorpio. Things are coming full circle for you, and you are growing immensely. The month begins with a New Moon in your 10th house of career and reputation, and this is a good time to set intentions for your dreams. Remember how supported and loved you are, and recognize where your skills and talents are and how you can capitalize and support yourself more here. This is a successful month for you, and you will feel these opportunities coming through during this New Moon.
Mercury goes retrograde for a few weeks this month and will be retrograde in your 10th house of career, and then your 11th house of friendship. Don’t lose sight of what you have been working towards and remember how hard you have worked to get here.
The people who are meant for you will support you along the way, and the people who are not will be made clear to you during this time. Venus enters your 12th house of endings, closure, dreams, and spirituality before the month ends, and you are ending August ready to heal, create, and understand your inner world better.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is all about going at your own pace, Sagittarius. You are learning the importance of being a little kinder to yourself and showing yourself grace no matter who else is. August begins with Mercury going retrograde in your 10th house of career from August 5 until August 14, and you have a lot to think about right now. You may not be receiving the feedback you are looking for during this time, and it’s teaching you something about unwavering confidence. This isn’t the best time to start a new job or career or to push something out there, but it is a good time to think about your purpose in this area of your life, what you want to be known for, and how you want to shine in the world.
The Supermoon in Aquarius on August 19, is going to be a good time for you in regards to communication matters, and this is when you are feeling more clear-headed in the month. This Full Moon is about letting go of mental conflicts and confusion and being around people who make you feel safe, seen, and understood. Venus moves into your 11th house of friendship, community, and hopes and dreams on August 29, and you are leaving the month feeling more supported than you have been, which is reminding you how valuable and worthy you have been all along.
CAPRICORN
Life comes full circle for you in August, Capricorn. Financial success is flowing through your world, and there are a lot of opportunities and support in your life right now. The month begins with the Sun in your 8th house of intimacy, shared finances, spirituality, and transformation, and you are receiving some extra financial support and clarity this month. On August 5, Mercury goes retrograde in your 9th house until August 14, and this isn’t the best time to travel or overdo it. Take your time right now, and think things through before taking action.
The New Moon and Full Moon of the month are both highlighting your finances and are creating progress for you here. On August 4, the New Moon in your 8th house is a good time to set your intentions for what you want to do on a daily basis, and how you want to receive financial support and feedback by doing so.
On August 19, there is a Super Blue Moon in your 2nd house of income, and this is really when you are going to be experiencing some fortunate opportunities financially. This is a good month for financial matters, and it’s all about letting go of the idea that you are not worthy of the things you have been working toward.
AQUARIUS
Happy outcomes are coming into your life in August, Aquarius. You have been working hard on creating and living the life you dream of, and you are seeing this energy flourish in your life this month. The happiness you are feeling is contagious, and you are attracting a lot of support and success in your life in August with the Sun and a lot of the energy in your sister sign, Leo, your heart, and your emotional world are where a lot of the action is now. This all begins with a New Moon in your 7th house on August 4, and this is a good time to set your intentions for romance, relationship matters, balance, and also your finances.
Mercury goes retrograde in this same area of your chart from August 14 until August 28, and your guidance for this time is not to lose sight of all the progress you have made in love when a few challenges arise. Take any miscommunications that may happen now as a learning ground for your relationships, and choose the high road when you can. At the end of August, there is a Super Blue Moon in your sign, and this is one of the more powerful Full Moons of 2024. With this energy being in your sign, you are the one in the spotlight right now, and it’s time to soak in the confidence, empowerment, and success you are feeling now.
PISCES
This month is all about having patience with yourself and with love, Pisces. The month begins with the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine, and with a New Moon occurring here on August 4 as well. With all of this energy in your 6th house, you are taking a look at your lifestyle, what works for you, and what makes you feel purposeful. On August 4, Venus also moves into your opposite sign, Virgo, and love is coming full circle for you now, and you are thriving in this energy.
Love this month is experiencing a renewal, and a lot of this is coming from the different choices you are making when it comes to your health and overall well-being in life.
Mercury will be retrograde in your 6th house from August 14 until Mercury goes direct on August 28, and what this means for you is a chance to rethink and restrategize. A lot of this month is guiding you towards what is best for you and your daily life, however, it’s up to you to choose for yourself. Be careful with overcommitting right now, but make sure you are doing the work to put yourself and your heart in a good place. Overall, there is a lot to think about this month, but if you can trust yourself and your process, you will see an evolution in your life.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
Exclusive: Brandee Evans On Faith, Fibroids, And Chosen Family
Do you remember your first time at The Pynk?
We were first introduced to Mercedes at Uncle Clifford’s beloved strip joint, a matrix of secrets and self-discovery nestled deep in the heart of the Mississippi Delta. Brandee Evans, who plays the ambitious single mother and seasoned dancer in the STARZ original P-Valley, quickly won our hearts and has since earned widespread critical acclaim.
Her captivating command of the pole left many of us intrigued, perhaps even tempted, to explore pole dancing ourselves after witnessing the mesmerizing performances at Mercedes Sunday. But it wasn’t just her physical prowess that kept us hooked. Mercedes is a character of depth—empowering, complex, relatable, and deeply human.
These are qualities that Brandee embodies both on and off the screen.
(L-R) Marque Richardson and Brandee Evans on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
A Memphis native, Brandee is no stranger to dance. She boasts an impressive career as a choreographer, having worked with renowned artists like Katy Perry, Monica, Ke$ha, and Ledisi. But while it has been a significant part of her journey, Brandee has her sights set on more—expanding her acting career beyond dance-inclusive roles. This ambition nearly led her to pass on the opportunity to appear alongside Kerry Washington in Hulu’s UnPrisoned, where she plays Ava, Mal's (Marque Richardson) new girlfriend.
“When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no,” Brandee revealed with a laugh. “She mentioned pole dancing, and I told myself and my team that once I was done with Mercedes, I wasn’t going to do that again.” Fortunately, Washington assured her that the role would be vastly different, leading to what Brandee described as an invaluable masterclass in comedy under the guidance of Washington herself.
“Kerry is a force of nature,” Brandee reflected. “She’s everything you’d hope she’d be—strong, compassionate, and incredibly talented. Working with her was like a masterclass in acting.” This opportunity was no mere stroke of luck; it was something Brandee had manifested years earlier. But make no mistake–she credits her faith and praying hands for her success. “I’m praying, you know what I mean? I’m asking God for what I want and working for it too,” she said.
"When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no."
(L-R) Brandee Evans, Kerry Washington, and Marque Richardson on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
This role marked Brandee’s first foray into comedy, and while she was eager to embrace the challenge, she found herself in the hands of an incredible mentor. “Kerry was always so kind in her critiques,” Brandee noted. “She’s not a diva by any means. She knows exactly what she wants, but she’s gentle and encouraging in bringing it out of you. That’s something I’ve taken with me to other sets—I want to lead with the same kindness and openness that Kerry showed me. It’s a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Brandee speaks with profound respect and gratitude for her peers and fellow actresses as many have shown her genuine sisterhood and support in an industry often notorious for its competitiveness. “Danielle Brooks sent me a prayer the other day, and I was just so touched. Those are the moments that people don’t see,” she shared. “I call Sheryll Lee Ralph my fairy godmother, and Loretta Devine is like my auntie. Being able to pick up the phone and seek advice from these incredible women is a true blessing.”
And she pays it forward.
Brandee Evans
Courtesy: Hulu
But her commitment to supporting others extends far beyond her career. As an advocate for health and wellness, she empowers women to prioritize their well-being. “Azaria [Carter], who plays my daughter on P-Valley, mentioned wanting to start a weight loss journey and get more fit. I told her, ‘Well, let’s work out together,’” Brandee recounted. But her dedication to healthy living goes beyond physical fitness, encompassing a holistic approach to wellness. “When she came to my house and tried to microwave something in plastic, I said, ‘Let’s use glass instead. At 20, I wasn’t thinking about that, but let me share some tips now so you’re not battling fibroids in your 30s.’”
Because she was.
While filming the first season of P-Valley, Brandee faced enormous stress—not only as a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but also due to the physical demands of the role. Yet the impact on her body was far greater than she expected. “I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal,” Brandee revealed. It was Harriet D. Foy, who plays her mother, who urged her to get checked for fibroids.
"I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal."
Brandee Evans graces the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony.
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
The statistics are staggering—80% of Black women develop abnormal uterine growths by age 50, making them more likely to suffer from fibroids than any other racial group. But like many, Brandee was initially unaware of these growths and their debilitating effects, and the prospect of surgery was daunting. “I was scheduled to have a myomectomy on my birthday, but I thought about what it would mean for my career. How am I going to climb the pole? The healing process is similar to a C-section.” Determined to avoid surgery, she committed to healing herself naturally.
After a deep dive, she sought treatment at The Herb Shop of Vinings in Atlanta, which ultimately led to a remarkable recovery. “This man saves lives. His name is Jeff, and I call him my doctor.” Brandee shared. “I started detoxing my body with herbs and following his program. During my follow-up with the gynecologist, they said, ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but your fibroids are shrinking.’”
Emerging on the other side of this journey not only fibroid-free but with a regulated cycle and a renewed outlook on life, Brandee is now focused on sharing her story and advocating for women’s health. “I know y’all want to hear about P-Valley, but I want to talk about regulating your period,” she said with a laugh.
Of course, she didn’t leave fans hanging when it came to what to expect in the upcoming season. “It is worth the wait. The world is about to go crazy. Oh, the world is about to lose it,” Brandee teased. “Y’all might be mad at us right now, but baby, it’s going to be worth it.”
All episodes of Season 2 of UnPrisoned are now streaming on Hulu.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu
These Two Artists Didn’t Allow Distance To Block Their Plan For True Love
In this How We Met story, I had the pleasure of speaking to two New York-bred artists: Crystal T. Williams and Alfred Rutherford. You may notice Alfred from Lifetime’s Keyshia Cole: This is My Story, All Blk’s LACE, or the currently trending Tubi movie Killer Beat. Crystal is also an actress and working producer who spends a lot of her time making movie magic.
But what many people may not know is that when they aren’t on set, the pair are together every day, proving that true connection is the real magic. The path wasn’t always easy, but they were both intentional about walking it. Check out this exclusive conversation with xoNecole to find out how a chance encounter, an uncomfortable prank, and two unique perspectives led to a happy marriage.
Let’s start at the beginning. How did you two meet?
Crystal: We have very different answers to that question. I first saw him at a screening where I was supporting fellow actors. But when I first met him in person, I actually walked up to him and introduced myself, told him how great he was at the screening, and gave him my card. But he never called. That was our first physical interaction. It was my way of telling him I thought he was attractive. Also, he was talking to a young lady, and I wasn’t sure what was going on there. They were really close. So I kinda stepped in and was like, ‘Sorry, did I interrupt?’ And once she said no, I just kept talking.
Alfred: Yeah, a lot was going on for me. As she said, we didn’t technically meet the first time, but I remember seeing her, and I loved her green eyes. I remember repeatedly asking my friends, ‘Who is the girl with the green eyes? Then when she came up to me at the actor workshop, I was like, “It’s the girl with the green eyes!’Courtesy
Okay, now how did it progress? Did y'all start talking on the phone after that?
Crystal: He never called me. I just kept seeing him randomly. I mean he was everywhere – auditions, a barbecue, everywhere. Long story short: he had a girlfriend. But this particular time I saw him, he was with a group of known actors, and I noticed there was an attraction between him and a beautiful super, talented actress who is a friend of ours, and she was interested in how we knew each other – so I uncomfortably answered, ‘well he’s kinda stalking me.’ I made it so uncomfortable. Then I walked off. I was just trying to block that situation.
Down the line, he messaged me on Facebook, which is interesting because he had my number. But still, nothing really happened. Finally, I saw him on 14th Street in Manhattan one day, tapped him on the shoulder, I said ‘hi,’ and we organized a date.
Alfred: In other words, she sabotaged my situation that I may have had going on. You see how much of a good guy I was? So even though I found her attractive, I had to make sure I was playing my cards right. The barbecue situation was hilarious to me. Everybody else looked shocked, but I loved it. That was the first time I really started to focus on her. I think some people would’ve been offended, but it was such a prank, and I found it cool. I tried to call her over to me that day, but she didn't turn back around (laughs).
What was the first date like? Do you remember anything that stuck out?
Crystal: Well, I was living in Brooklyn at the time, and he was moving to Brooklyn from the Bronx. So we met in Williamsburg at a popular restaurant called Taku Taku, that’s no longer around. I’m very funny about time, and he was over an hour late. I was fuming and wondering if I was being stood up. But he kept answering my texts. By the time he got there, I was MAD.
Alfred: Just to let everyone know, before I was a full-time actor, I was sports director at the YMCA – with all the little children. And there was a random crisis in the building going on. You know I love the kids, so I had to take care of that! To all the guys out there, you gotta know your purpose comes first.
So there was a post-work crisis, late to the date vibe going on. How did the energy change?
Crystal: Well, I liked him, and I knew I really wanted to get to know him. I felt like the chaser. I had been super outspoken and gave him my card. Plus, I feel like everybody gets a pass. So, that was his.
Alfred: I don’t feel like she chased me, but she did let it be known that she was interested. However, my grandmother and my mother raised a southern gentleman, so you know, I had to handle that situation the right way at the time.
But yes, on our date, she was visibly upset at first. I was wondering if I was going to have to go to the bathroom and leave because she was giving me such an attitude. But then she warmed up when I explained what happened. After that, it was a lot of fun. I made her laugh, and it all worked out.
I don’t feel like she chased me, but she did let it be known that she was interested. However, my grandmother and my mother raised a southern gentleman, so you know, I had to handle that situation the right way at the time.
Beautiful. Now, talk to me about the courtship. How did the journey develop?
Crystal: Listen, I had the key in like 30 days.
Alfred: Okay, wait a minute. I have a reputation to protect (laughs). Let me defend myself again. So when I moved to Brooklyn, she, of course, was already familiar with the area and used to ride her bike around there for exercise. And I didn’t want to have her just riding around outside. If something happened, her father was going to look at me. So I gave her the key and said if I wasn’t there, she could still go inside. That was the reason - just being a gentleman (laughs).
So that feels like exclusivity. Did y'all have “the what are we talk,” or did it just happen naturally?
Crystal: No, we never had that conversation. Well, not like “Will you be my boyfriend?” Or “Will you be my girlfriend?” We just knew we were in love with each other. I was in my early twenties, and I remember I asked him if he knew what “143” meant and he said it back (laughs).
Alfred: I had to ask my kids at the YMCA what it meant.
Courtesy
As things developed, what challenges did you have to overcome together, and how do you think it affected your relationship?
Crystal: I grew up with a lot of siblings - and brothers. So I was very boyish. I was always used to doing certain things myself. And my father raised me to be very independent and to never rely on men for anything. But I had to learn to come back to myself as a woman and realize, hey, you have an actual physical man here. I had to learn to let him lead and guide.
Alfred: So again, I’m an actor, and I was moving to L.A. at the time. L.A. has some beautiful women but I also have a beautiful wife now, right? So the challenge, I think, for us was the things people said, ‘Well, girl, you know, he's going to be out there and it’s not gonna work.’ And I do think temptation plays a real important role in how the relationship is going to unfold. But I just started to live a bicoastal life. I was living in L.A. but spent more time in New York. So that was able to actually help us, and once we got serious - I moved.
Crystal: I have to add to that, I always said I would never do long distance. We really had to decide to make it work. I had a job that was remote so I could travel anywhere. We got to explore L.A. together, and it ended up being a blessing.
Alfred: And it turns out, living in L.A. wasn't for me. So you have to allow yourself room when you're in a relationship, and your partner gives you room to be – because we had an impasse. There was a night where we had a very real conversation about if we were going to break it off. But we decided to give it a shot. I'm of the mind that people make happen whatever they want to make happen. Everything else is an excuse. Distance is an excuse. It's not saying it's not going to be difficult, but anything worth having is worth fighting for. Me knowing what I wanted made it an easy choice.
I have to add to that, I always said I would never do long distance. We really had to decide to make it work. I had a job that was remote so I could travel anywhere. We got to explore L.A. together, and it ended up being a blessing.
What about day-to-day challenges? What do you typically argue about?
Crystal: Alfred grewup with a lot of women in his house, and he grew up in a way that wonderful West Indian women do things. Everything is in a certain place and done a certain way. I didn't necessarily grow up like that, although I do have West Indian roots. So he likes things structured. If anything is not where it needs to be or in the right place, that’s a conversation.
Alfred: Yeah, I'm a traditionalist, and I believe without order, chaos will ensue. I grew up in a household with West Indian women who were married for 50 and 60 years. And as a boy, I would be able to see them give my female cousins and aunts all these instructions about how to treat their husbands like I was at this university of relationships. I know at times I may seem like a very intense person to her, but I feel like I have very unique insight into why a lot of relationships falter. Some of it is systematic, particularly in our community. We just don't have things in order, and we weren't raised to be in successful relationships.
It’s interesting hearing how your backgrounds shaped different aspects of your relationship. I’m curious, what’s a focal shared value?
Alfred: I think one of the things that we’ve shared and actually impressed me a lot about Crystal was her view on family values. Not to be stereotypical, but she’s half Italian and half Jamaican – and both cultures are known to be big on that. Like during Christmas, we shop for everyone, even the little nephews. I’m always like why are we shopping for all these people? But secretly, I really like that because I come from a matriarch where my grandmother made clear that everything was God first and then family immediately after.
Finally, what do you love most about each other?
Crystal: I love how he loves me. But I also love who he is as a man, how structured he is, and how he tells me what’s best for me even when I don’t want to hear it.
Alfred: The reality is that she has the biggest heart that I’ve ever come into contact with in a romantic sense. I can be mad at her, and the second I see her in pain – I go to mush. It’s priceless. I don’t have children yet, but I understand how fathers melt when their little girl’s face melts. Plus, I’m an artist and a bit intense. You know how that goes. We have self-destructive tendencies sometimes. But I can honestly say that whenever you see me, I represent not only myself but my wife, my family, my mother, and my roots.
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