
On December 4th, the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius will carry the energy of your typical New Moon - times 100. Fresh starts and new beginnings as they relate to the things that expand your consciousness are featured by this transit. Now is a great time to explore yoga, make long-distance travel plans, or check things off of your bucket list that will lead to a deeper and more fully rounded you.
The Full Moon in Gemini taking place on December 18th will bring closure to ongoing conversations. In astrology, the Full Moon is a period of reckoning, manifestation, and culmination. Gemini is a sign representing duality and communication. Expect any pending contracts and agreements to be completed at this time. On the following day, Venus will move into retrograde in Capricorn. Venus Retrograde is not a time to move forward or to begin anything new.
Instead, use this time to pause and reflect on your romantic relationships, beauty regimens that you may want to update in the near future, and the way you approach money! If you send or receive a “hey big head” text at this time don’t be surprised. You are likely to revisit - or to be revisited by ghosts of relationships past! Chiron turns direct for the first time since mid-July on December 19th. Any issues that you’ve been in denial about or sweeping under the rug will have to be dealt with now, no matter how painful or inconvenient.
On December 21st, the Sun enters Capricorn, shining a light on the way we collectively approach work, business, tradition, structure, and rules. On December 24th, Saturn in Aquarius forms its third and final square to Uranus in Taurus. Look back at what occurred in your life around the time of the first two squares that took place on February 17th and June 14th. They will clue you in to what you can expect during this month’s square.
Collectively, the events that this transit will create tension in our desire for freedom and our need for stability.
Jupiter will enter Pisces on the 28th, closing out 2021. This phase will usher us into an era that highlights the need for intuition, introspection, philanthropy, selflessness, sensitivity, and deep spirituality.
Here’s what you can expect for your zodiac sign in December.
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleWelcome to a better and bolder you this month, Aries! The New Moon Total Solar Eclipse taking place on December 4th will highlight your 9th house of expansion, luck, and higher consciousness. Expect new beginnings as it relates to anything that will broaden your horizons intellectually and physically. You may finally begin planning that dream getaway, enroll in college courses, or begin exploring a new discipline like psychology or philosophy. The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th will bring closure to any ongoing negotiations or discussions that you may have been experiencing since mid-June. You may receive or upgrade a tech item or receive insights and closure as it relates to a matter dealing with your siblings or neighbors.
Chiron heads direct in your sign on the 19th for the first time since July. Unhealed wounds as it relates to how you look or are perceived by others may be triggered in the coming weeks. Acknowledge your insecurities now so that they can be released and healed permanently. Venus heads backward in Capricorn on the 19th of this month where it will remain until late January. During this time, any career progress that you’ve made since early November may begin to stall. Now is an excellent time to focus on your work, but don’t expect to receive accolades for your actions until Venus retrograde ends on January 29th.
On the 24th, Saturn in your 11th house of friendships will form a tense aspect with Uranus in your 2nd house of value and self-worth. Do you feel like a friend has been taking you for granted? Have you outgrown your friend group and feel that you no longer share the same interests or values? Have your relationships with your work colleagues been a little tense this year? Look back at the events that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year. They will clue you into what you can expect during this time.
Finally, on the 28th of the month, Jupiter enters your 12th house where it will remain for much of 2022. This marks the beginning of what will be an incredibly introspective 12 months for you. Take this time to reflect, and introspect. Begin a meditation, yoga, reiki or spiritual bath regimen that will serve you well for the remainder of this year into next year. Get ready for a deeper, more intuitive you, Aries!
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThings are about to get pretty intense for you, Taurus! The New Moon Total Solar Eclipse taking place on the 4th of this month will illuminate your 8th house. Look out for new beginnings as it relates to sex, death, investments, and other people’s money. This month’s Full Moon takes place in Gemini on December 18th. Any matters relating to the things that you value, your sense of self-worth, and what makes you feel safe and secure, financially and otherwise, will reach a boiling point in order to be permanently resolved.
Chiron heads out of retrograde motion on the 19th, forcing you to address any deep subconscious wounds and unhealed trauma that you may have been negatively impacting your life and your relationships. This is an excellent time to engage in shadow work. Acknowledge and address the sides of yourself and any negative past experiences that you usually try to deny. Venus heads backward on the 19th in your 9th house. You are likely to find that new habits you’ve embarked on early last month will temporarily come to halt. Perhaps the pandemic is getting in the way of your upcoming college courses or travel plans.
Venus retrograde is not a time to embark on anything new. Instead, take a moment to reflect on when and how you’d like to go about expanding your physical and mental horizons.
On the 21st, the Sun enters Capricorn, lighting up the area ruling luck and expansion in your chart. Don’t shy away from pondering on any bold moves at the end of this month, Taurus, but don’t make them until after January 29th, otherwise, you are likely to experience inconvenient setbacks! Saturn will square Uranus for the last time this year on the 24th. Expect to experience tension in the way you present yourself publicly and your career reputation. Make your IG private, especially if you are interviewing. Now is not the time to assert your individuality at work. Be extra careful of keeping your social personality separate from your work persona now.
If you feel like your career path doesn’t really align with who you are as an individual, issues will be brought to the forefront for you to reflect and ponder on now. Look back to the events that took place during the Saturn-Uranus squares in February and June of this year for a sense of what you can expect during this time. You’re going to receive a preview of what will be a bustling year for you socially, Taurus! Expect your social connections and friendships to grow beginning on the 28th of this month into the majority of 2022. Cheers to a popular new you, Taurus!
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleAre you looking to get booed up, Gemini? Love is likely to find you around the 4th of this month when the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse lights up the area in your chart dealing with long-term partners and relationships. Get ready to take romance to the next level! The Full Moon takes place in your sign on the 18th. Have you been contemplating a new look, persona, or how you choose to present yourself to the public? This is likely to be solidified now. Maybe you have finally decided to debut a new look or to refine your social media presence in some way. If so, the stars are on your side at this time.
Chiron heads direct on the 19th in your house of friendships. Any sensitive issues related to your social circle may crop up now. No matter how uncomfortable or painful, they will be brought to light in the coming weeks in order to be resolved. Venus goes retrograde on the 19th in your house of sex, death, and other people’s money. Don’t embark on any new investments now if you can help it, Gemini! Your sex life may take a backseat to more pressing issues between now and January 29th.
Take this time to properly vet any and all prospective sex partners so that you don’t experience any regrets later! Expect old lovers to come out of the woodwork now as well - if they do, enjoy it while it lasts. They are likely to head back out of the picture once Venus heads direct again. On the 21st, the Sun will light up this area of your chart as well, shuffling up any feelings of deep sexual desire. Get ready for the intensity to be dialed up, Gemini! December 24th ushers in the third and final Saturn-Uranus square, creating tension in your urge to make bold moves, and your desire to self-isolate and introspect.
Look to the events during the first two Saturn-Uranus squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year for clues as to what you can expect at the end of this month. On a positive note, Jupiter is going to bless you with career luck beginning on the 28th and into much of 2022. Expect bigger and better opportunities when it comes to your job. Promotions or a new, higher-paying job are in the cards for you over the next 12 months, Gemini!
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to embark on a new health journey, Cancer! The New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius offers the perfect opportunity to start a fresh new diet or exercise regimen. The Full Moon on the 18th will illuminate your house of subconscious and hidden feelings. Trust your intuition and gut instincts now. Any hunches or revelations you experience at this time are likely to have deeper significance than you may initially realize.
Chiron goes direct on the 19th in the area of your chart ruling your career. Job insecurities are likely to crop up now and in the coming weeks. Venus goes retrograde on the same day which may temporarily stall any relationship progress as well. If so, don’t take it to heart. If you or your boo have seemed a bit distracted lately, give it space. Things will return to normal and will receive an extra boost to boot when Venus heads direct on January 29th.
The Sun will light up this same house two days later indicating that you will spend a lot of mental energy on your relationship. Even if you are forced to be temporarily apart or to hold off on taking things to the next level, your relationship will remain on your mind. But worry not! You will get creative in remaining connected. Single? Take this time to scratch up your Tinder profile. How can you make yourself a more desirable partner? Reflect on that during this period.
Saturn will form a tense aspect with Uranus for the third and final time this year, creating friction between your lover and a friend. Or perhaps there will be an issue with yourself and your friend’s lover. Does a friend owe you money? You may finally decide it’s time for them to come up out of those pockets! Whatever pops up now is the result of a deeper, ongoing issue that will need to be resolved at this time.
Jupiter enters your 9th house of expansion, giving you a double whammy of luck, boldness, and blessings as you expand your horizons and gain newfound courage to try bigger and better experiences than what you’ve been used to.
This is a sneak peek into what will be quite an adventurous 2022 for you, Cancer! Whether you decide to travel more, gain new experiences, or expand your knowledge in some way, you are likely to take a less conservative approach to life than you have previously. Get ready for a bold new you!
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleAll work and no play make Leo a dull girl! This month will show you that more than ever. December 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will illuminate your house of dating, soulmates, sex, creativity, and fun. The three days leading up to and proceeding this New Moon is the perfect time to swipe right on Tinder and meet up with a new cutie - taking into account any and all safety precautions of course! Not on the market? Expect a boost in creativity, your artistry, or to give a new sex toy a fun whirl! Now’s the time to express yourself in a fun and authentic way, you’re certainly going to feel the urge and spark to!
The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th brings a culmination or epiphany to an issue related to a friend. Perhaps you find a solution to a problem your friend has been dealing with, or you decide to have a heart-to-heart in order to finally address the elephant in the room of a matter that has been affecting your friendship. Chiron heads direct for the first time since July on the 19th. Any wounds that you’ve experienced relating to religious upbringing and moral conditioning will be brought to a head now.
Venus goes retrograde the same day, slowing down the progress you’ve made on new health habits. Has your weight loss hit a plateau since early last month? Don’t lose hope. Keep at it. Progress will more than likely resume when Venus turns direct on the 29th of next month. The Sun will light up this same area of your chart two days later, giving you the extra boost to patiently deal with any health setbacks. December 24th brings the third and final Saturn-Uranus square, creating tension between your career and your long-term partner. Has work been getting in the way of time spent with your partner? Are you contemplating whether to relocate, with or without your boo?
Whatever issues came to a head during the first two squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year are likely to come up again for resolution and conclusion. On December 28th, Jupiter will begin its journey to expand your 8th house of sex, transformation, death, and other people’s money. Expect to reflect on matters relating to investments, inheritance, new lovers, and mortality beginning now and into much of next year. Sex that you experience over the next several months is likely to be intense and transformative. Get ready for a sexy new you this year and beyond, Leo!
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour foundation and what you call home are about to shift, Virgo! Make room for new beginnings on the 4th as it relates to your family or living arrangement when the New Moon Total Solar Eclipse lights up that area in your chart. The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th will bring career matters to a culmination. Whether you finally receive well-deserved recognition, decide to make a career change, or decide that you actually aren’t happy with your career, you are likely to experience a sudden revelation when it comes to this area of your life.
The following day, Chiron heads direct in your house of sex, other people’s money, death, and investments. Any sensitive issues relating to the death of a loved one, your own mortality, the way you engage in sex, or anything else is likely to be exacerbated. This will feel uncomfortable and you will feel triggered, but these issues need to be addressed so that you can finally heal and move on from them.
Allow yourself to experience this pain so that you can release it and so that it doesn’t manifest in heartbreak, emotional turmoil, or ill health down the line. This is the crux of what shadow work is all about. Engage in it now.
Venus heads retrograde in your house of fun, sex, dating, creativity. You may notice a bit of a slow down in these areas of your life in comparison to the boost you received early last month up until now. Whatever setbacks you experience will resolve themselves by the time Venus turns direct on January 29th. Now is a time to study, reflect on and read up on all of the ways you’d like to enhance your creative expression. December 24th brings the third and final Saturn-Uranus square of the year, creating tension between your job and your daily habits. Are you feeling boxed in at work? Do you feel like your daily responsibilities are preventing you from living life to the fullest? Are you living to work instead of working to live?
This frustration is likely to come to a head for you now and you may find that you are not able to tolerate feeling so restricted by your job or lifestyle any longer. Look back to the events of the first two Saturn-Uranus squares (in mid-February and mid-June) for a sense of what’s to come! Get ready for a period of new love, partnerships, and serious relationships, Virgo! Jupiter enters your 7th house on December 28th and will bring relationship blessings now into much of next year. If you’ve been looking to take intimacy to the next level, now’s your chance, Virgo!
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleDecember 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will light up your 3rd house of siblings, communication, technology, and short-distance travel. Your inclination to put the past in the past and to let bygones be bygones regarding any lingering sibling issues is likely. Expect to wrap up negotiations, contracts, or legal agreements now. On a fun note, you may also get a new gadget or decide to spruce up your social media presence around this time. Chiron heads direct on the 19th in your house of long-term relationships.
You may encounter a painful but healing discussion with your partner in the coming days and weeks. Whatever relationship issues you have been trying to sweep under the rug will come to the forefront. Address them now, as uncomfortable as it will be so that you can finally release and heal from them. Venus also heads retrograde from the 19th until January 29th. Now is not the ideal time to move, purchase a new home or make any major decisions as it relates to your living or family arrangements. Whatever new decisions you make now will experience delays and setbacks.
Instead, take this time to deeply reflect on any upcoming decisions that need to be made relating to your family and home so that you can hit the ground running and move forward when Venus heads direct late next month. Although you won’t necessarily be able to move forward on any plans, family, and home will be on the forefront of your mind as Sun enters this area of your chart on the 21st to remain until late January. You will be spending a lot of time and energy on looking for a new place, house hunting, family planning, deciding to expand your family, moving in with your boo, or splitting up altogether.
Saturn and Uranus form its third and final square, creating tension in the way you approach sex and relationships. Are you experiencing an unfulfilling sex life? You may decide that something needs to finally be done about it. Do you feel as if you have to suppress your individuality and your creative expression? Are you looking for opportunities to channel your artistry into your business or side hustle? The relationship between your sexual or creative expression and the way you use it to earn money will transform. Look back to the events of the first two Saturn-Uranus squares in mid-February and mid-June of this year for a hint of what’s to come.
Jupiter enters Pisces on the 28th to remain there for much of 2022, expanding the area in your chart relating to work and health habits. Any new diets, workout regimens, or health habits that you engage in now will positively affect your work and your overall health in a significant way. Here’s to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled you, Libra!
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to dial up the fun and intensity, Scorpio! The December 4th New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius promises fresh new beginnings in financial opportunities and in the things that boost your self-esteem and make you feel valued and secure. The Full Moon in Gemini taking place on the 18th will bring a culmination point to your thoughts on mortality and the way you approach sex, other people’s money, and transformative experiences.
Chiron heads direct in Aries the following day. Any wounds or unresolved issues relating to your coworkers or your approach to eating, working out, or daily responsibilities will need to be addressed now. For example, if going to the gym has been a sore spot for you, or if you have an unhealthy relationship with food, you will be faced with and forced to address and reckon with these issues now, as uncomfortable as they may feel.
Venus heads retrograde on the same day, stalling any progress made in contracts, negotiations, or communication. Have you been investing in your social media presence? You may notice that your social media following growth is starting to slow down. Sun enters this house in two days further intensifying your focus on these matters. Take this time to plan out and revise how you approach these matters instead of embarking on anything new. Strengthen what you’ve already started early last month. Keep at it. Momentum will build back up when Venus goes direct on the 29th of next month.
On the 24th, Saturn forms a tense angle to Uranus, creating friction between your family and your partner. Look back to the events of mid-February and mid-June for a preview of what to expect during this time. When Jupiter enters your 5th house of dating, recreational sex, creative expression, and fun on the 28th, expect a flirtier new you that will carry you into much of 2022. Spruce up that Tinder profile now Scorpio, you’re in for a fun and fulfilling ride starting now and into the majority of next year!
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleOn December 4th, a New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will light up your personality, persona and public image. This is an ideal time to debut a new look! The Full Moon in Gemini on December 18th will bring a relationship matter to a culmination. Whether you decide to take things to the next level with your boo or to split up altogether, the status of your relationship is likely to shift for better or for worse. Childhood wounds are highlighted the following day, on the 19th. Did you deal with trauma growing up that hasn’t been properly resolved? Expect to pay more attention to these matters in the coming weeks.
Seek counseling, begin journaling, or confide in a trusted person so that you can finally begin to heal any childhood experiences that are standing in the way of a healthy view of yourself or your healthy relationships and self-expression. On the same day, Venus heads backward in your 2nd house of finances, value, and self-esteem. Any progress you made in these areas since Venus first entered this area of your chart on November 5th is likely to slow down or stall for a bit.
Not all hope is lost Sagittarius! The Sun will enter this same area of your chart on the 21st. You will spend extra time and energy fine-tuning your finances and your relationships with the things that you value and that make you feel good about yourself. All the work that you do now and all the time spent here will not be in vain. You will enjoy the fruits of your labor in a month’s time when Venus heads direct again.
Saturn and Uranus will form its third and final square for the year on the 24th. Be mindful of your email, virtual and in-person communications with coworkers. You may not come across in the way that you intend and it can create more problems than it’s worth. Slow down before hitting send on that email and be extra tactful in the way you work through any workplace issues. Look back to the Saturn-Uranus squares of mid-February and mid-June for a hint at what’s to come so that you can properly handle it.
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleDecember 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will illuminate your 12th house of intuition and introspection. Use this time to meditate, reflect, journal, or simply spend time in solitude. Whatever insights, hunches, or gut feelings you receive during this time will be spot on. Tune in. The Full moon in Gemini on December 18th will find you deciding to finally move full steam ahead on that new diet or workout regimen that you’ve been considering. When Chiron heads direct the following day, wounds relating to your family and home will be brought up now in order to be addressed and resolved for good. As uncomfortable or painful as this experience may be, it’s necessary in order for you to pave the way for a healthier new beginning.
The same day, on the 19th, Venus will go retrograde on your sign. Have you been contemplating a new look, plastic surgery, getting botox or fillers, or new hair color? You’re going to want to hold off on those until Venus heads direct again on the 29th of next month. Otherwise, things may not go according to your vision and you are likely to experience serious regrets and setbacks! Ready for the spotlight? The Sun enters your sign on the 21st.
Although you won’t be able to move forward on making any new moves in the way that you appear or present yourself to others, you can still expect the spotlight to be on you in some form or fashion until late next month. Shine on Capricorn - just don’t do anything new for now! Saturn and Uranus will form their third and final square on the 24th of December, replicating themes experienced during the first two squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June of this year.
How has your sex life (or lack thereof) been affecting your self-esteem? Do you feel like you are able to express who you are sexually and otherwise? Does your dating life feel stable? These are all matters you are going to be faced with during this time. Jupiter enters your 3rd house of communication on the 28th to remain there for the majority of next year. Get ready for your writing, social media presence, public speaking, and general communication opportunities to begin ramping up this year, Cap!
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to get more social, Aquarius! December 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius will breathe life into your friendships. The Full Moon on December 18th will illuminate your 5th house. Expect an epiphany regarding the way you approach dating, children, sex, recreation, and creative expression. Any insecurities relating to the way you communicate with others and your sibling relationships will come to a head for you when Chiron heads direct on the 19th.
When the Sun enters your 12th house of subconscious, reflection, and intuition two days later on the 21st, expect that you will want to spend more time alone, introspecting on your past and upcoming life decisions. Get in tune with yourself and your emotions by engaging in a solo yoga practice, meditation, or a spiritual bath regimen.
Saturn will form a tense angle to Uranus on the 24th, creating friction between yourself and your family. They may take issue with the way that you present yourself to the public, or you are likely to find yourself at odds with your family due to a strongly held belief. These issues will echo any incidents faced during the first two Saturn-Uranus squares that took place in mid-February and mid-June.
On a positive note, expect a boost in your finances and self-esteem when Jupiter enters your 2nd house of value and self-worth on the 28th to remain for much of next year. 2022 will be prime time for you to go after that bag, Aquarius!
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGet ready to make boss moves, Pisces! December 4th’s New Moon Total Solar Eclipse will light up the area of your chart that rules your career. Don’t be surprised if a new job opportunity, a promotion, or new responsibilities and roles crop up at work now! The Full Moon in Gemini on the 18th will bring home and family matters to a head now for closure and resolution. When Chiron heads direct in your 2nd house on the 19th, wounds relating to your self-esteem will be brought to light so that you can come to terms with and finally heal them.
As uncomfortable as this will be, it will pave the way for a better, more confident, and self-assured you. Venus heads retrograde on the 19th and will remain that way until the 29th of next month. You are likely to experience challenges and setbacks in being able to physically spend time with your friends. Don’t worry! You’ll find creative ways to remain connected. Whether it’s through Zoom calls or social media status updates, you can rest assured that your circle will remain tight until it begins to grow again after Venus heads direct again in late January.
December 24th brings a tense square between Saturn and Uranus that will bring you strong gut feelings and spiritual downloads. Pay attention to any messages you receive on social media or via email at this time, they will clue you into information you may need to know at this time. On a positive note, Jupiter enters your sign at the end of the month - get ready to shine, Pisces! Jupiter is going to bestow you with blessings and luck. You will be viewed in an extremely positive light beginning now and for the majority of next year.
Expect to make excellent impressions with higher-ups at work. Engagement, marriage, a higher title, and a better living arrangement may also be in the cards for you. Please note that Jupiter expands, if you don’t want to gain weight, keep those celebratory treats to a minimum and plan to spend a lot more time in the gym this year! Either way, expect a major glow-up in 2022, Pisces!
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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It’s probably been over the past 2-3 years that I’ve become hyper-focused when it comes to applying certain chemical exfoliants known as acids to my skin. Personally, I’ve come to really appreciate ones like mandelic acid and hyaluronic acid because they have a way of softening my skin, brightening it up and really evening out my complexion overall.
In fact, on my skin, they have been so effective that they have caused me to wonder what would happen if I applied some of them to my hair too — and boy, was it an experiment that paid off big time!
If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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