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Being Overly Argumentative Can Be A Subtle Sign Of Insecurity
Once the honeymoon phase packs its bags and leaves, you and your partner have come face to face with the actual "work" it takes to stay together. From what to watch on TV to how the toilet paper should look on the toilet paper roll, you will have these arguments.
Some arguments will test the foundation of your relationship. Some may end with a simple "I'm sorry," others may lead to nights on the couch, refusal of sex, and the silent treatment. What happens when you discover that your partner is overly argumentative?
You know, someone who would make it their mission to have at least one good argument a day, one who loves to disturb the peace, or someone who enjoys arguing for the sake of arguing, or you could be the person who is the overly argumentative one. Not to fear, your girl is here to help you get to the root of the problem.
Here are four reasons why you or your partner might be argumentative and ways to combat this problem to never exist in your relationship ever again.
Being unhappy
No matter where this unhappiness stems from, people become argumentative when they have a hard time expressing their dismay. Solution: Be honest and get to the root of the problem. If this unhappiness stems from within or with your partner, tell them how you feel. In an article with Bustle, life coach Kali Rogers states:
"If you can get on their level by asking questions and truly understanding where this combative nature comes from, together you two can work on building a different form of communication."
Being a victim of emotional abuse in the past
Victims of emotional abuse have a hard time explaining any emotions they could have. The lack of confidence and fear of not being understood can cause frustration. Let's be honest, you will not always agree with your partner. It is excellent to agree to disagree, and it's also OK to counter without a solution. The critical thing to focus on is the respect and trust you both have for each other. It is possible to disagree and still have love and admiration for each other. If you or your partner are having issues with how confrontation is occuring due to feeling triggered from past traumas, try bringing those feelings to the light. It might be difficult to be vulnerable in this way, but the shift in dynamic in how you converse will be well worth the effort.
Being defensive
Nobody wants to admit when they're wrong. For partners who have problems dealing with the shame and embarrassment of being wrong, not wanting to fall on their swords in disagreements will always lead to an argument. This tactic only protects the humiliation of being wrong and losing the "fight". The real question is, "Why is your focus on trying to be right and not finding a solution?" It begs the question on what exactly are you trying to hide from your partner? During these situations, it's best to be proactive in acknowledging how your partner feels and provide reassurance to avoid future arguments.
Because it's just the way they (you) are
Many of our habits stem from the environment in which we spent our childhood. Being overly argumentative wasn't a choice you made one day in your adult life. You became a product of your environment. That doesn't mean it's a death sentence. It just means that you have to be mindful of these confrontational situations as they present themselves.Author April Masini explains:
"For starters, don't assume they realize what they're doing. You might say, 'You're arguing with me,' and test the waters. Instead of fighting back, give them a chance to back off. If they're surprised, then merely bringing arguments to light is a great way to begin to dissolve them.
"You can also ask, 'Why are you arguing with me?' Statements such as those take the focus of the issue and onto the relationship dynamic. They may open up and tell you that they're angry about something else, stressed from work, or something that brings the two of you closer to a healthy relationship dynamic."
It's important to understand personal insecurities and how they play a part in the list above. According to Psychology Today, some causes of insecurity are genetics, environmental stressors, fear of disappointing others, dependency, and broken trust. With patience and healthy dialogue with your partner, overcoming these insecurities will help you become a better individual and a better partner.
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Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
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Nicki Minaj’s Appearance At The ‘Barbie’ Premiere Is A Moment For The Culture
Nicki Minaj is opening up about the significance of her involvement in the upcoming Barbie film, highlighting how the brand has impacted her career as she attended the Los Angeles premiere of the highly anticipated project.
From the beginning of Minaj's rap career, which dates back to 2007 following the release of her first mixtape Playtime Is Over, the star coined the nickname Barbie after the Mattel doll. Minaj's love for the toy and the brand's representation ran so deep that she continued to incorporate the Barbie persona in practically almost every project, including the cover of Playtime Is Over, where the “Queen” rapper appeared as a figurine trapped inside a box. Over time, the emcee nicknamed her fanbase The Barbz and created numerous titled tracks containing the word Barbie. The list includes "Barbie Tingz," "Barbie Drip," "Barbie Dreams," and the newly released "Barbie World" featuring Ice Spice as a part of the Barbie soundtrack.
During a July interview with Entertainment Tonight, Minaj explained why she considered being a part of the Barbie soundtrack a full circle moment and her initial thoughts about "Barbie World."
Nicki On Being A Part Of The Barbie Project
In the discussion, the 40-year-old revealed she was excited to lend her voice to the soundtrack because of her admiration for the Barbie brand.
"I'm so excited to be here and be a part of this entire moment. I'm glad that they thought of me because I'm excited just like everybody else is excited to see this movie", she said. "I know I've been saying Barbie my whole career. So it's a very full circle moment."
Further into the interview, Minaj shared that before making "Barbie World" --a sample of Aqua's 1997 hit "Barbie Girl"-- she was given several songs that she didn't vibe with. Still, after hearing the Aqua sample, Minaj came up with the idea to incorporate some drums to provide the track with a more urban feel.
"There were a couple of songs that I didn't love, and this Barbie sample, I loved it. I just wanted it to have a dope drum, and so the one that they sent me, I loved. I jumped on it right away," she stated.
Nicki Gives Thanks To “Barbie” Director And Mattel
Immediately following the premiere, Minaj took to Twitter to show her appreciation to Mattel, Barbie director Greta Gerwig, and the film's soundtrack producers Mark Ronson and Kevin Weaver for including her in this monumental occasion.
"Thx, Forbes & s/o all the incredibly talented artists/producers on the #BarbieMovie soundtrack. Mark Ronson, Kev Weaver, Greta Gerwig, Mattel," she said while mentioning how much it meant to her and the Barbz. "You guys could have chosen anyone to be a part of this project. Glad you knew how much it would mean to the Barbz & me. So Grateful."
The live-action Barbie follows the adventures of the figurine as she adjusts to real life after getting kicked out of Barbie land for her imperfections. The film stars Margot Robbie, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, Alexandra Shipp, America Ferrera, Issa Rae, and many others
Barbie is set to make its theatrical debut on July 21.
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Feature image by Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage