The Art Of Soft-Launching Your New Bae In The Digital Age
Publicly defining a relationship has come a long way since the days of updating our Facebook status from single to in a relationship. What was once a moment to outwardly declare your transition from being unpartnered to becoming officially cuffed has gotten a serious upgrade in its mystery and inconspicuous nature.
Enter the soft launch.
The Art of the Soft Launch: What Is Soft Launching?
The “soft launch” is a relationship term that comedian Rachel Sennott first coined in a viral tweet. In the early stages of a budding relationship, it’s the process of gradually teasing the presence of a new partner without ever revealing their identity. It’s the art of discretion and privacy that allows you to only share what you desire before going fully public while leaving the rest to the viewer's imagination. And my, has the internet gotten crafty with it?
How To Soft Launch Your Relationship On Social Media
If you’re wondering what makes a soft launch photo different from other documented displays of partnership, it’s all about the angle. An arm across the dinner table, a tapered fade only seen from behind, or a muscular hand gripping the inner thigh of a passenger princess are all prime real estate for spotting the coveted soft-launch image.
No face, no case. That is, unless, of course, it omits the upper or bottom half of their silhouette. And absolutely no tagged profiles. It’s all about striking the balance of not keeping your partner a secret while still maintaining a sense of autonomy and privacy around how you choose to publicly share the relationship and when you choose to do so.
Why the Soft Launch Works
No matter a person’s social status, there’s always a good reason to keep your relationship protected from the court of public opinion. Newly partnered people can find it challenging to avoid the pressure of having their relationship placed under a microscope and made a spectacle via social media, with eyes from strangers, old acquaintances, and even disapproving family members. With a soft launch, you’re able to foster the narrative of your relationship as it grows and even protect your partner from any unwanted judgment or opinions.
One social media starlet couple recently supplied us with a textbook example of how to go from soft-launching to hard-launching with expert precision.
@alwaysjalen Certified flower lovers 💐
After months of speculation and fan theories, Monet McMichael and Jalen Noble, popular social media creators, went from soft launch teases to full-out, hard launch status with a series of heart-melting video mashups to announce their buzzing romantic involvement.
Monet, a beauty and lifestyle content creator and GRWM queen with over 3.5 million on TikTok, has garnered an online community that has fallen in love with her charismatic and BFF-in-your-head energy. Jalen is best known for his time as a former participant on Love Island USA and his dog-loving and homely lifestyle content, with a TikTok following of 1.1 million, making them a social media power couple.
From February until their official announcement in April, fans of Jalen and Monet put on their FBI badges and went to work, piecing together the subtle signs, clues, and teases that the two each shared in their social media posts. One post, in particular, featured Monet taking her first ice bath plunge in Jalen's all-too-familiar barrel, followed by a video where Monet provided the voiceover for Jalen's day-in-the-life vlog.
However, nothing could top the couple’s grand unveiling when they took to social media to share a heartwarming and tear-jerking video mashup capturing the precious moments of their freshly unwrapped love story, one so adorable that you couldn’t look away.
When it comes to a soft launch, who doesn’t love a good tease? And taking a note from Monet and Jalen’s book, soft-launching gives new couples the time and space to get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressure, expectations, and attention that may come with a more public-facing relationship.
Not only do these hints and clues keep your social circle curious, but they also allow you to keep your relationship sacred and untainted from outside voices for as long as possible.
Whether you're eager to “my man, my man” your social media peeps to the ground or want to cherish the early stages and moments of your relationship, the beauty in these launches is that it’s totally up to your discretion. It may seem trivial to some, but in our digital age, it gives you agency over how much or how little you choose to share.
When you start sharing intimate details of your love life online, it's a sign of commitment. And with a tasteful soft launch in place, it allows both you and your partner to focus on building a strong connection without external distractions. By prioritizing privacy, you're creating an environment that fosters genuine and long-lasting bonds. It's a healthy approach that paves the way for a fulfilling relationship.
And as they say: private life, happy life.
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Featured image by Hello World/Getty Images
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images