
Yeah, I know. When you think of spring cleaning, probably the last thing that comes to mind is your sex life. Just hear me out, though. Spring cleaning is a practice that's all about thoroughly cleaning your living space in preparation for the new seasons that are to come…right? That's why I think it is the perfect idea to apply this way of thinking to your world of intimacy. Because, the reality is, a lot of us are currently having less-than-absolutely-wonderful sexual experiences and it's usually because there are areas that we either totally overlook or don't give our full attention to.
So, in honor of spring cleaning, spring fever and the weather heating up, here are some ways for you to get your sex life back in order so that it can be—pardon the pun—hotter than ever!
1.Get a Physical
I once read that only 1 in 5 people get an annual physical. What fascinated me most about that is many health care providers were divided on if going to the doctor every year was even necessary. Some actually believe that it's a waste of time and money unless you sense something is actually wrong. I'm gonna leave that conclusion to your personal discretion. What I will say is if you're not in the mood for sex, you're inexplicably tired all of the time, your period is all over the place, you feel irritable without really knowing why, sex has suddenly become painful or you no longer enjoy it—definitely make an appointment to see your physician. There are a lot of folks out here who aren't having a great sex life and it's directly related to some sort of underlying health—even if it's mental health, so a therapist can't hurt either—issue. That's why it's so important to "spring clean" your sex life by making sure you're in tip-top shape first.
2.Rearrange Your Bedroom
A couple of years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "Could Your Home Decor Be Totally Wrecking Your Sex Life?" When you get a chance, I definitely recommend that you check it out. Yet even if you don't feel like doing any real bedroom upgrades that require spending cash, how about rearranging your room a bit?
Boredom is a leading cause of a less-than-stellar sex life when it comes to long-term couples and doing something as simple as moving your bed can make your bedroom space feel totally different. And a change of scenery has a way of adding a spark to couples and their libidos.
3.Bring Some Greenery into Your Space
Spring is the time of year when birds start chirping, flowers begin to bloom and trees are green again. In honor of all of this, tell me something—how many plants are in your bedroom space? It's been proven that plants can do everything from reduce stress and improve your mood to absorb toxins and even reduce noise levels (if you know what I mean). So, why not put a snake plant or pothos on your nightstands or place an English ivy or Gardenia in a corner of the room? It can bring peace to your bedroom and make it feel so warm and comfy that you'll want to cuddle up with your partner—and then some.
4.Incorporate Some "Spring" Oils
Over here, we're huge fans of essential oils (check out "6 Different Places To Apply Essential Oils. And Why." and "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last"). Well, why not add a few essential oils to your collection, just in time for spring? Whether you want to freshen up your bedding, create a luxurious bath, make your own massage oils, DIY some body sprays that will help your skin to glow or put a seductive scent in a diffuser—ones that scream "spring" include tangerine, bergamot, Roman chamomile, jasmine, lavender, manuka, neroli, rose, ylang ylang and chocolate peppermint.
5.Create a “Sex Nook”
At the end of the day, a nook is a small space that's considered to be a safe area. Oftentimes it's in a corner of a room or by a window where you can focus on relaxing while doing something that you enjoy. In walks the concept of a "sex nook" that I sometimes recommend to couples. All it means is that you've got a dedicated space where your sex toys and erotic reads may go. It can also be where you do some orgasmic meditation exercises or maybe discuss some of the things that you discovered while surfing the 'net or downloading some sex apps (which we'll get into in a bit). The mind is a funny thing. When you have places with "themes", often that can "program you" into cultivating a certain type of mindset and energy. Sex included.
6.Have a “Sex Section” in Your Fridge
If you're someone who does traditional spring cleaning, I'm pretty sure that one of the things on your to-do list is to get at that fridge of yours. As you're tossing out old condiments and deep cleaning your shelves, set aside a space that can be your "sex section". It can include aphrodisiac foods, sex condiments like whipped cream and chocolate frosting and also things that will keep your vagina healthy and tasting great like kefir and celery. You know what they say—if you build it, they will come. In this case, swap out "they" for "y'all" and "come" for "cum". No doubt.
7.Commit to Cuddle Sessions
If you happen to be someone who's been in a relationship for, let's say three years or more, a synonym for the word "clean" that I'd like you to ponder is "thorough". One of the beautiful things about sex, when you're in a long-term committed relationship, is it connects you to your partner on more than just a physical level. Well, did you know that cuddling does things like cultivate intimacy, reduces stress, helps you and your partner to feel closer to each other on an emotional level, relieves pain and boosts your immune system?
If your sex life has been going OK yet you can't recall the last time you and yours were intentional about going to bed earlier so that you can snuggle up or you stayed in bed later in the morning so that you could spoon—to be clean is to be thorough. To be thorough is to be "extremely attentive" and "have full mastery of a talent". Use the spring season to make time for more cuddling. That kind of attention can help you to become an even better master at satisfying your partner.
8.Download Some Sex Apps
Something that's great about apps is they're convenient, right? Well, if for the last few weeks or months, it seems like your sex life is in a bit of a low space, how about downloading some sex apps that can hopefully help to "spruce things up" a bit? If you want to sext without anyone but your partner being able to see what you're saying (or showing), go with Confide. Looking to develop better sexual communication with your partner? How about Pillow? If you and/or your partner travel a lot, OhMiBod comes with literal vibrations for your long-distance pleasure. An app that can make the initial stages of foreplay more fun is Dirty Game - Hot Truth or Dare. If it's time to bring in some new sex positions, an absolute must-have is iKamasutra. These are just a few suggestions that can help to evoke spring fever, if needed.
9.Detox Poor Sex Habits/Patterns
Spring tends to be the time of year when a lot of people detox so that they can get their bodies in peak condition for summer. Why not use these next several weeks to detox any poor sexual habits or patterns that you might have? Habits like what? Maybe it's not investing enough time into setting the right mood for sex. Maybe it's not "landscaping" (check out "Yep. Pubic Hair Has Trends (And Specific Needs) Too."). Maybe it's not having enough foreplay. Maybe it's fantasizing too much about other people (check out "You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?"). Maybe it's—one that I personally loathe—weaponizing sex (withholding for the sake of manipulation or power). Maybe it's staying in a sex rut. Maybe it's treating your bedroom like a second office (with all of those damn devices on your bed) or having more time for any and everyone else but your partner. Something that all of these habits/patterns have in common is they're actually pretty toxic and you can't have a healthy sex life when poison is in the way. So, definitely seek to "spring clean" your sex life by doing some detoxing of things that you know are sexually counterproductive—for the sake of sex and ultimately your relationship overall.
10.Do Some Foreplay Edging
Edging is something that we've brought up, more than once, on this platform. It's basically when you and your partner stimulate each other to the point of climaxing, only you pause a few times at that point so that when you do finally orgasm, it's super intense. Along these lines, something that I'd like for you to consider is what I call "foreplay edging". We all know that foreplay is all about things that we do to arouse our partner so that they will want to have sex. The challenge here is this, though. What are things that you can say and do, that aren't directly sexual that can get your partner in the mood to engage in foreplay with you? What kind of texts can you send? What kind of compliments can you give? When it comes to their love language, how can you speak it in such a way that they'll want to jump your bones as soon as they see you?
Sometimes, when I'm in a session with a couple, something that both the men and women will say is they wished they were "wooed", on a seduction level, by their partner more. Figuring out how to make your partner desire foreplay before even thinking about sex is an art that is lost on many yet is effective AF.
11.Cultivate Some Sex Rituals
So, riddle me this. What is a sex ritual that you and your partner have? A ritual is something that is an established procedure and a procedure is a mode of action. When something is established, it is settled, valid and recognized. So, when it comes to sex, what have you and your partner established and settled between the two of you? Is it that you won't go more than a week without some sort of sexual activity? Is it that you won't go a month without trying something new on the sexual front? Perhaps it's that you will schedule a sexcation, at least twice a year or that you won't let "outside drama" infect what happens in the bedroom. One of the biggest mistakes long-term couples make is planning when it comes to every other area of their life and "winging it" when it comes to sex. Using this season to commit to a particular "mode of action" is a wise step if you want to keep your sex life a top priority in your relationship—which is something that you definitely should do.
12.Cleanse. Each and Every Time.
Another definition of clean that I really like is to wash away whatever is contaminating. Something that I think totally fits this bill is holding grudges and not being honest about your feelings. After all, true sexual intimacy is about two people sharing their minds, bodies and even a part of their spirits—that's hard to do when there is bitterness, resentment, anger or even a lack of true openness in the way. Spring cleaning is all about getting in there and removing all of the "yuck". Set aside some time, sooner rather than later, so that you and your partner can have a "cleansing conversation". It's refreshing. It's healing. And it can serve as the foundation for a revived sex life—just in time for all that this spring season has to offer.
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
I seriously doubt that it will come as a shock to anyone reading this that the “official” cold (and flu) seasons are considered to be during the fall and wintertime. However, what kinda tripped me out is that there really are only a few months of the year when we aren’t susceptible to catching a cold: May-July. SMDH.
Know what else is wild about colds? They have five stages: incubation (1-2 days); symptom onset (1-2 days); peak symptoms (1-2 days); plateau (2-3 days), and recovery (3-5 days) — and that is why, sometimes, it can seem like it takes FOREVER to get over a cold. Also, SMDH.
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider

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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil

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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C

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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST

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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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