I'd be remiss if I didn't say there wasn't dick in my life that I didn't have "what ifs" about. In the dating game, just like there are perfect strangers you wish you could meet once again (i.e. for me, the Elliots of the world), there are dicks you wish you could sit on too (cue "Rocket" by Beyoncé). I don't feel that missed opportunities and chance encounters are strictly remnants of romantic pursuits gone left, I think they can come in the package of carnal desires as well. And as the statement that prefaced this piece might suggest, there are quite a few dicks that my mind wanders off to from time to time.
Maybe the timing wasn't right, maybe he had a girlfriend, maybe he had just gotten out of something serious, or maybe too much thought was put into the kind of woman I wished to portray myself to be – whatever the reason, bouncing on it was just out of the question. So, I'd take the L and keep it moving, but every so often, my mind still went there… what if?
What if he had blown out my back? What if I could have his head nestled between my legs? What if I had ridden his appendage to oblivion? What if he turned my river into a waterfall and I had his name on my lips whispering to God like a prayer?
In all honesty, thinking of dicks you never had can be quite the mindf-ck.
And as I draw this conclusion, one dick in particular stands out to me as being quite elusive in my life.
Aside from the occasional nude where I was made fully aware of its beauty and incredible size through video where he would mold his member into hardening with an adept hand that knew what he liked so well. He beat his cock into submission and it always had an effect on me. But I hated that I was subjected to the position of a voyeur versus being able to submit to him in person, preferably in downward facing dog or missionary. I come apart so easily in the latter.
I met him three years ago, at a Fourth of July cookout for a local clothing brand in Atlanta, and he was beautiful. I was immediately entranced by the sight of him, his defined body, his chocolate brown complexion, his tattoos that filled his canvas like graffiti, his locs that cascaded down his back, his piercings, his lips, but mostly his eyes. Although he dripped of sex, there was something deeper there – a softness held in their almond shape. I was intrigued by the complexity of him. That quickly. I felt a spark and I was like a moth to a flame as we shared smiles and quick glances across the yard.
He pulled me into him and before parting ways, I let him know that I'd be sliding in his DMs. And hours later, I did.
Not even a week had gone by but he was at my place, and I was trying to give myself to him.
I wanted him and ever since our conversation, he hadn't left my thoughts. Although I debated my forwardness that even felt forward to me, he made me feel comfortable in my borrowed confidence and surprisingly safe. He was even better naked, and bowed his head down south to eat me like the snack I felt like. But everything wasn't rainbows and sunshine unfortunately when it came down to sex because – record scratch – I had an injury at the time that completely diminished my experience. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't stop thinking about the pain in my back, so our encounter was cut short.
Some light cocoa butter kisses and a wave goodbye were the only things I had left to hold onto as I closed the door to officially end our abbreviated nightcap.
We were supposed to have a do-over, but I got wrapped up in my pseudo relationship that never could work and because I loved him, was comfortable, and the D was bomb, I stayed there. And although I'd continue to admire from afar and blush at my once-lover's sweet nothings he'd text me every now and then, the years passed without either of us making a move to finish what we started. "I see and look at you too," he said. "I look at you and see chocolate and eyes and curves and smirks and tastes and vibrancy and toes and lip smears and ass kisses."
And as I'd lick my lips to solicited dick pics of the darkest part of his body or beam at his way with words, I'd both wander and wonder why it was we'd always fail to connect IRL. "Now I'll dream of you…"
But, what if?
I remember asking him to take me thrifting with him one day, but I ultimately just decided to invite him to come over (because really, who am I kidding?) What was supposed to be catch up and wine down quickly evolved into something more, as he pulled me into his lap after my first glass. His lips grazed my neck, coaxing me to meet his mouth with my own. I was more than ready to succumb to my desire. The motion of one movement to another was like water. I remember laying back on my bed after pulling my shorts down and him lifting my leg to put my toes in his mouth. It tickled and bite back a soft moan, but truth be told, I didn't want him there.
I flipped on my stomach to change the song that played on shuffle, and swiftly he moved to take me from behind, pulling my panties to the side so that he could taste me. Everything about it felt so heightened for some reason. And the bliss that radiated throughout my entire body, sparking fire on my skin had me absolutely delirious. I didn't think it could be any more intense, but when he entered me, it was like the levees to my euphoria broke. I was underneath his spell, writhing and arching up into him.
Heat and electricity and wetness met to form an explosive harmony as we rocked and rode the rhythm our lovemaking created.
I found myself coming undone so many times at the call of his stroke, his chaste kisses, and my desperate hands that marred trails along the length of his back. Further evidence of my pleasure. I came twice before he announced his arrival, and then I came again.
No more what if, it was what then. And it was everything I imagined and somehow, still more.
"My p-ssy is singing," I texted him after he left my place.
I had been delivered.
Featured image by Shutterstock
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Ananda Lewis Clarifies Why She Didn't Get A Mastectomy & Says She's Doing 'Better' After Stage IV Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Former MTV VJ Ananda Lewis received a lot of backlash from online critics after sharing she decided to forgo a double mastectomy. But there's more to the story.
Ananda was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer in 2019, and during a recent round table discussion with CNN's Stephanie Elam and Sara Sidner, she revealed that she decided not to get a double mastectomy and, now, she has stage IV cancer.
Following that interview, she clarified why she did not get the surgery. “The circumstances were not conducive to surgery because my tumor wasn’t aggressively growing at the time, and then COVID hit,” Ananda told The Epoch Times.
She opted for a cryoablation treatment instead, which uses extreme cold to destroy the cancer cells.
Another thing the 51-year-old wanted to clarify was whether she was dying. She said she is not. “Nothing happened. Today, I am fantastic. I may have felt like I was dying in February, but I’m not dying, and I’m definitely doing better than I was last October,” she said.
She is focused on taking care of herself and getting a "good 20 more years out of this body." She follows a keto diet and avoids alcohol, white flour and white sugar.
During the CNN roundtable discussion, the mother of one shared that she had an integrative approach to her treatment, which included traditional medicine and homeopathy methods such as red light therapy.
“My plan at first was to get out excessive toxins in my body. I felt like my body is intelligent, I know that to be true. Our bodies are brilliantly made,” she said.
“I decided to keep my tumor and try to work it out of my body a different way,” she continued. “Looking back on that, I go, ‘You know what? Maybe I should have.’
Ananda also admitted that she wasn't prioritizing early detection, such as getting mammograms. The former talk show host's mom also had breast cancer and chose to go the conventional route, which influenced her to go a non-traditional route.
As a content creator, Ananda uses her social media to inform others on the things she's learned about obtaining good health such as toxic items to through out of your pantry and the many benefits of water.
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Feature image by Paul Archuleta/Getty Images