Quantcast

Unpopular Opinion: Size Doesn’t Matter to Me

Sex Stories

When you think about what makes a man “it" for you, does the size of his d**k really matter?

I find myself revisiting this question time and time again in my love life. For most women, the element that elevates sex into great sex territory is the size of a man's package as it is often quite telling of the quality of his delivery.


I was one of those women way back when. I drank the Kool-Aid and believed the hype that the BBC category on Pornhub and conversations with girlfriends over drinks projected.

Bottom line, size mattered. And if he wasn't packing, sex was going to be subpar at best. There was no way a 5 and below could do what I imagined in my mind an 8 or above could do. But, my first experience with an 8 or above told me a different story.

Like most men, Guy A talked about how big it was to me prior to us actually doing the deed and I believed he was probably exaggerating like most men who say they're “big" do. But a week or two later, he proved to me (and my roommates at the time) that he was every bit of the 9 ½ inches that he said he was. My eyes widened and I giggled with glee from anticipation of having him fill me completely. I would quickly learn that in order to enjoy sex with a big d*ck, you have to adjust and became accustomed to his size (riding is absolutely out of the question, but if you can take it, doggy will probably be the most adventurous you can be the first time around).

Ain't no one night stand over here bih.

What's more, I learned that because guys with above-average penis sizes have SO much length, they don't necessarily think they have to work as hard for the pleasure that they illicit from you – i.e., the stroke game can err to the side of being weak as hell. However, that won't stop you from shrieking loudly every time his head repeatedly high-fives your cervix throughout the encounter. Pain and pleasure's thin line will challenge your senses and not necessarily for the better. Whereas a big d*ck seemed good in theory, in reality? Not so much.

I'd actually like to add my coins to the collection plate of d*ck size thoughts and say that size doesn't actually matter. At least, not when it comes to having a partner that knows how to lay it down. In the pursuit of great sex, the connection will always matter more.

In the pursuit of great sex, the connection will always matter more.

For that reason, and another big d*ck beau that came shortly after him that resulted in a similar lackluster feeling – albeit the high-fives to my cervix, I decided to revisit my question of if size mattered to me. The real answer to that question was further emboldened in me with one of my more recent beaus.

I was so close to eliminating him completely after the first time we made love, just because of his size alone.

The package didn't match the sender. Given his height and stature, I overestimated what Guy B would look like unwrapped and erect. In all actuality, he was far below average. It made our first time together very awkward. I couldn't move much because he had a certain angle he had to hit so that he didn't slip out, among other things. So, I not only felt underwhelmed, I felt constrained. If I hadn't grown to like him so much as a person, I would have cut him off then and there. However, I also remembered that while sometimes sex is amazing and earth-shattering and all of those intense adjectives you want it to be the first time around, other times love has to be practiced in order to be made perfect.

And I was right.

The second time far exceeded anything that was the first time. It was much more passionate, much less hurried. We were able to work together in achieving a rhythm because he relinquished some of his control and allowed himself to just be with me in the moment instead of so focused on the mechanics of it. I still felt filled, despite his size and the connection I felt reminded me of the ex I had let go of. By the third time we had sex, he was able to make me orgasm vaginally – something I had only done with one other person in my life. Baby, I was amazed.

So, while I previously scoffed at the idea that a small d*ck could EVER take me to the finish line, I was quickly put on hush mouth as I felt that familiar build up in my body release and let go as the sea of pleasure washed over me.

I more than finished, I arrived.

The act of laying it down can be done just as skillfully with a five or below as it can with a BBC. Size is relative and sex is deeper than any length his package brings to the table. Sex is about connection first and foremost. Honesty and respect next. Chemistry after that. And way, way, way down on the list where it's almost nonexistent should be size. When he knows what to do with it, the rest is history.

The act of laying it down can be done just as skillfully with a five or below as it can with a BBC.

Besides, small d*cks matter too.

Do you think size matters? Let us know in the comments down below.

Something that I try to mention, as much as possible, especially when it comes to married and long-term couples is, if you want to go the distance, it's not just the "big things" that you've got to stay up on; it's the little things too. Something as simple as you being a morning person while your partner is a night owl can affect everything from quality of sleep to quality time to your sex life. That's why, when it comes to couples who have different sleep patterns who still want to have a fulfilling sexual dynamic, I'm all about encouraging them to do what is at the foundation for all successful relationships — compromise. Sometimes that means that an alarm clock needs to be set or someone needs to initiate some, umm, stuff (more on that in a bit) in order to get the juices flowing (pun intended and not intended).

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Victoria Monét has worked behind the scenes as a songwriter penning hits for Ariana Grande, Chloe x Halle, Brandy, and more, and now it's time for her to stand in the spotlight. The "Coastin'" singer has dropped multiple projects over the last few years to showcase her vocal talent and so far she has been receiving praise for her sultry and jazzy sound. Her most recent project, the 2020 EP Jaguar stayed in the mode of jazz while also infusing sounds that are reminiscent of the '70s.

Keep reading... Show less

It's always good when you can learn something and laugh at the same time, and these Black women on TikTok make sure you're doing both week after week. From teaching us how to best navigate the job search to giving tips specific to advancement in certain industries, these videos are all about empowering and inspiring you to advance in your career. Check out a few of the top TikTok users for this week's picks to enjoy during your lunch break and allow to live rent-free in your head:

Keep reading... Show less

After previously saying that she was in the process of adopting children, Tiffany Haddish is putting motherhood on "pause." The beloved comedian grew up in the foster care system and originally wanted to be a foster mom, but with advice from her lawyers, she decided that adoption would be best. However, it looks like we won't see her with a child anytime soon.

Keep reading... Show less

It was actually pretty close to this time last year when I penned the piece "How To Get Through The Holidays If You Don't Observe Them". Unlike some of the other articles that I write for the site, I pulled that one from very personal experience. Being that my personality is very wired to "be good" on something once I know its origin, holidays are something that I tend to take a pass on; this includes Thanksgiving (some insightful reads on its origin are found here, here and here). Still, this doesn't mean I'm not aware of the fact that many people use this time of year to reflect on their blessings and to say "thanks" for all the good that has come their way. Since I like to write on relationships a lot, I thought to myself, "Why not come up with ways for people to show gratitude to their significant other?"

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

'David Makes Man' Star Arlen Escarpeta Believes Love And Accountability Go Hand In Hand

"While we are quick to judge others, we really have to look at ourselves and call out some of the things that we do."

Latest Posts