
Your November 2024 Horoscopes Are All About Healing Through Change & Securing The Bag

November is a month of the scales of karma coming into balance. We are walking toward the end of this year at full speed as an active, expansive, and transformative month is ahead of us. A lot is happening in the stars in November, and many different aspects of life will be influenced by this energy, especially when it comes to your financial and emotional worlds.
Eclipse Season is officially over, but now we enter some significant astrological transits and retrogrades of the year. November is all about finding your balance between the powerful changes occurring and the intentions you are creating. The month begins in Scorpio Season and with a New Moon in Scorpio on November 1. This New Moon is bringing transformations and new beginnings when it comes to intimacy, emotional connections, shared resources, and your financial reality.
This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for the commitments you want to build and sustain over the next month and where in your life you want to feel a renewed sense of empowerment. This New Moon is here to be a catalyst for what is next for you, and this will be an especially transformative time for finances.
Exploring the November Cosmos: Key Transits & Transformations
On November 2, Mercury enters Sagittarius where it will be until January 8, 2025. This is a significant Mercury transit as Mercury will be in this fire sign for a while and will be going retrograde in Sag from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold, outspoken, self-confident, and open-minded. This is an active and, at times, aggressive Mercury sign, and in retrograde, it's best to consider having even more patience with others than usual when it comes to communication matters.
Mercury in Sagittarius acts from thought alone, and while sometimes this can be inspiring, during retrograde, it backfires. This Mercury transit is all about getting inspired, considering all options and solutions, and moving forward intentionally.
Mars enters Leo on November 3, and another significant transit occurs. Mars will be in Leo until Jan. 6, 2025, and will be retrograde from Dec. 6 until Feb. 23, 2025. Mars in Leo is creative, passionate, enlivened, and self-empowered. While Mars is direct in this sign, this is a great time to put yourself out there, honor your skills, talents, and authenticity in life, and do something bold.
Throughout November, Mars will be direct, and this will be the best time within the next few months to advocate for yourself and support your dreams, as once Mars is retrograde, there may be some more obstacles here. Overall, Mars entering Leo in November is the passion and self-love we need to fuel the inspiration and empowerment this Scorpio Season is bringing.
Saturn goes direct in Pisces on Nov. 15 after being retrograde since late June, and we have a Supermoon in Taurus on the same day. Mid-November is bringing in closure, but also the love that comes from healing. Saturn now being direct makes the head and the heart feel a little clearer, and this is also a better time for creativity and inspiration.
With a Full Moon happening on the same day, we are wrapping up a chapter in love as we commit to something deeper right now. With the Sun in Scorpio and the Moon in Taurus, relationship matters are highlighted, and much-needed clarity, forgiveness, and acceptance are here during this time.
Pluto enters Aquarius on Nov. 19 and will remain here until 2043, and we begin a new generation and collective energy. This is one of the most important transits of the year, and its influence will be felt on a larger scale over the years to come.
Pluto in Aquarius brings transformations to the community and the world at large, and there will be a rebirth and a coming together in the world. Pluto, in this air sign, feels empowered to connect and bring greater equality and progress overall. Sagittarius Season begins on Nov. 21, and we end the month ready for some excitement.
This Sag Season is starting slower while Mercury will be retrograde, but there is a sense that there is a lot to look forward to and gratitude to embrace right now.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what November has in store for you:
What November 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
November is a month of opportunities for you, Aries. You are being recognized for the work you have done and the skills you have, and this is the time to put your best foot forward. You are claiming your abundance this month, and with a New Moon in your 8th house at the start of November, this is a good time for seeing new beginnings within your financial world, business partnerships, and the commitments you are making in this area of your life.
On Nov. 25, Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and being retrograde in a fellow fire sign means you are going to be feeling this retrograde a little more so than others.
For you personally, this isn’t the best time for travel matters or for taking any unnecessary risks, and you should focus on going within more over the next few weeks as life adjusts around you. Before November comes to an end, a Supermoon is occurring in another financial area of your life and what you were intending for financially at the beginning of the month is coming full circle for you now in positive ways.
TAURUS
You are feeling inspired, passionate, and happy this month, Taurus. This is a beautiful month for you and a time when you are feeling confident about where life is and what is next for you. You are building the magic in your world and the New Moon happening on the first day of the month is when you are recognizing how capable, loved, and supported you are in life. The beginning of November is all about finding your balance and setting your intentions in life and in love.
On Nov. 11, your ruling planet, Venus, enters your 9th house, and this is a great time for you to enjoy a joyful, romantic, and exciting love. You require a little more freedom emotionally this month and you want enough space to be, explore, and learn, and you are having fun doing so. The stars align for you as the month ends, as we have a Supermoon in your sign on Nov. 15.
This Supermoon is the closing of one chapter, and the clarity of another, as you can see yourself and your path forward a little clearer now.
GEMINI
November is reminding you to let it go, Gemini. A lot is coming to the forefront of your life this month, and it can feel heavy to address it all at once. The month begins with your ruling planet, Mercury, entering your 7th house of love, and you are thinking a lot about your role in some of the relationships in your life, what makes you feel at peace within them, and where you may be giving more than you have to give.
It’s about asking for what you need right now, as once Mercury goes retrograde at the end of the month, it will feel more difficult to find that understanding here.
A Full Moon is happening in your 12th house of closure, healing, dreams, spirituality, and secrets on Nov. 15, and this Full Moon is bringing up a lot of emotions. This month is about acceptance and not putting things on the backburner anymore, and emotionally, you are clearing out some cobwebs of past experiences and relationships. Overall, there is a lot to work through this month, but you are ready to finally do so and to move forward for good.
CANCER
November is about taking care of yourself, your health, and your overall well-being, Cancer. This month is reminding you of the disruptions that can come from overthinking and showing you a way out of some unhealthy attachments or coping mechanisms. You are entering the month with a New Moon in a fellow water sign, and this is a good time for you to think about the things and people who make you happy, how you can honor your passions, creativity, and interests more, and to set your intentions for the love you want surrounding you now.
Venus, the planet of love, enters your 7th house of partnership from Nov. 11 until Dec. 7, and this is bringing a coming together for you romantically. Opportunities in love are presenting themselves, and it’s all about knowing that what you seek is seeking you, too, right now, and not overwhelming yourself or self-sabotaging things here with old insecurities. There is a Supermoon in Taurus before the month ends on Nov. 15, and this is allowing your heart to let go of doubting your dreams and intentions and embracing the magic you bring to the world and others.
LEO
November is all about perspective, Leo. This is the month to focus more on gratitude and intention so that you don’t let anything disrupt your peace or happiness. On Nov. 2, Mercury enters your 5th house of romance where it will be into 2025, and there is a lot to think about when it comes to love right now. With the Sun also in your 4th house of home and family for most of this month, your focus is on the love and people around you and how you can feel more supported and uplifted here.
One of the most important transits of the year for you happens at the beginning of November, and that is Mars entering Leo from Nov. 3 until Jan. 6.
Mars in your sign brings extra energy, passion, motivation, and direction in life, and this is going to be a good month for you to get things done, reinvent yourself, and focus on your personal goals and path. You are entering a space in life where you are learning to be a little bit more selfish with your time for your peace of mind and health while also nurturing the relationships you want to continue to build.
VIRGO
This month is about using your voice, Virgo. Communication matters hold prominence for you in November, and you are getting your message across right now. With the Sun in your 3rd house of communication for most of the month and a New Moon here on the first day of November, you have a lot of new ideas to gain and perspectives to consider, and you are finding your power within the clarity you are receiving now. You are exuding inner peace and confidence in November, and you are not to be messed with this month, Virgo.
On Nov. 11, Venus enters your 5th house of romance for the next few weeks, and love is flowing through your world in a new and more secure way. You are focused on your passions, happiness, and interests and are looking for new ways to feel more stability and abundance here. Before the month ends, we have a Supermoon in Taurus, and this Full Moon is bringing things full circle for you mentally. You are gaining an inspiration you have forgotten and are embracing honesty, spirituality, and contentment right now.
LIBRA
This is a month of focusing on your values and priorities and grounding your energy, Libra. A lot of your energy is going towards your finances in November, as this area of your life is more prominent for you around this time of the year. The New Moon on Nov. 1 is a great time to set your intentions for your financial abundance, create a new income plan, and ask for what you need within financial matters.
This month is reminding you that you are worthy of the things you are asking for and that you don’t have to change who you are to receive them.
Venus enters your 4th house of stability mid-month, and this will help you fully grasp your reality financially and emotionally right now. You are building beauty, peace, and acceptance in your home life, and this is a good time to spruce up the home, create safe spaces, and connect with family or your roots. Mercury goes retrograde before the month ends and will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with the mind and communication.
Remember that not everyone is going to understand you or your perspective, but that doesn't mean you don't have the right idea about something.
SCORPIO
Scorpio Season is here, and it’s time to bring some more magic into your life, Scorpio. You are thinking clearly and powerfully this month and are connecting with all the right people. With a New Moon in your sign on the first day of November, you are walking into the month feeling an empowerment and renewal that will take you far, and you have all the tools you need to succeed right now. This is your month to move full speed ahead and to remember the power of your voice.
Mid-month, we have a Supermoon in your sister sign Taurus, fueling a new understanding of love. You are seeing gifts and clarity being reflected to you now within your relationships, and some real progress is likely within your one-on-one partnerships overall this month. On Nov. 15, Saturn goes direct in Pisces after being retrograde here for the past five months, and you are ready to experience more bliss when it comes to romance, passions, hobbies, children, and your self-expression.
You have less weight on your shoulders right now, and new paths are opening up for you to embrace and find security in your happiness.
SAGITTARIUS
Dreams are coming true for you in November, Sagittarius. This month is an opening for you and a time to set your sights high. The Sun is in your 12th house of closure for most of the month, but the closures you are moving through are closing out chapters that bring you more reward than anything. You get to enjoy the success of your endeavors and are emotionally moving into a space of fulfillment right now.
With Mercury entering your sign as the month begins on Nov. 2 until Jan. 8, your mind is especially active now, and there is a lot to think about and get inspired by.
Sagittarius Season officially begins on Nov. 21, and it’s your time to shine! It’s all about embracing the things that make you unique and allowing love to come to fruition for you through grace and patience. Mercury goes retrograde in your sign from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and some old miscommunications or misunderstandings may be coming around for you again to address and heal from as the month ends.
This Mercury retro is about being kinder to yourself and giving yourself and others time most of all.
CAPRICORN
November is about choosing your battles wisely, Capricorn. Not everything needs a reaction, and you are recognizing when and where you need to put your energy right now. The New Moon on the first day of the month will be giving you clarity on the friendships and community in your life that need addressing, and this is a good time to set your intentions for your future here and what you want to manifest for yourself in regards to the support and love you receive in your life.
Venus enters your sign from Nov. 11 until Dec. 7, and you are ready to feel the romance you have been seeking as of late. Venus in your sign brings greater love, harmony, and beauty into your life, and your power of attraction is especially strong right now. Self-love is what is holding prominence for you now, as you show others an example of how to treat you by the way you are treating yourself.
Before the month ends, your ruling planet Saturn goes direct in your 3rd house of communication, and you are overcoming and healing from some mental obstacles that may have been playing out these past few months.
AQUARIUS
This month is about moving on and moving forward, Aquarius. You are choosing yourself and your peace as you continue into your dream reality. There is a letting go you are moving through emotionally in November, but this is long overdue as you close out some old chapters in your life. With Venus in your 12th house of endings, closure, secrets, dreams, and healing for most of this month, your heart needs time to process right now. It’s about knowing what you deserve and not settling for anything less.
Saturn, one of your planetary rulers goes direct on the 15th after being retrograde since June, and your finances see a positive turnaround during this time.
Saturn has been helping you build stability financially, but may also have given you some tough lessons in the process. Now that Saturn is direct, you have more opportunities to grow than just dream. Pluto enters your sign on Nov. 19, before the month ends, where it will remain for the next 20 years or so. This is a very significant transit for the world, but for you especially, and you are entering a time of greater empowerment, self-recognition, and support from others.
PISCES
November is a month of abundance, success, and fulfillment for you, Pisces. You have a lot to look forward to right now, and you are walking through some new doors of opportunities. The New Moon on Nov. 1, is a good time for you to set your intentions for what adventures you want to go on, what you want guidance on, and what new people you want to connect with, as you are in a good space to manifest and to receive some extra good luck right now.
Saturn then goes direct in your sign on Nov. 15, after being retrograde here since June. This is huge news for you and a time for you to fully embrace the power and magic of your existence and build up some new dreams as well. There will be a Supermoon in Taurus that occurs that same day, and you are ready to let go of what doesn't serve you or your mental health and are focused on progress more than loss. You have a lot of good going for you right now, and life is magical for you this month, Pisces.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image: Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Once upon a time, I knew a married couple who told me that they wouldn’t even discuss with each other who they found to be attractive on television because, in their minds, that was a form of cheating. They’re divorced now, and although there are a series of reasons why, it was always strange to me that things were so restrictive within their relationship that they couldn’t even share a fleeting thought about how someone looked.
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
Whenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
As I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
It’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
During the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy