These days, developing your personal brand can easily become a well-paying, full-time gig and thanks to the internet, women can literally be whoever TF they want and actually get paid for it. While navigating the world of bloggers and influencers and PR (oh my) can be overwhelming, one self-made CEO is here to make the industry a little bit more accessible.
When life gives most people lemons, they make lemonade. But when God gave Taylar Barrington-Booker lemons, she built a lemonade stand and founded her very first business. Years later, the 31-year-old entrepreneur created Cliquish, a community of over 10,000 content creators that is dedicated to showing other women how to do the same thing.
According to Taylar, the Cliquish community was developed out of a desire to eliminate the "you can't sit with us" stigma amongst women in business and is on a mission to create room at the table for everyone. Taylar told xoNecole, "I personally believe unhealthy competition comes from a misinformed concept that there is a lack, or not enough to go around; that collaboration means you have to share something that's not infinite, and that competing means it's you against someone else for a handful of spots."
The founder shared that this way of thinking incorrect AF and, in fact, emphasized the importance of having a strong group of fellow business owners in your corner that can support you along the way. She continued, "In most cases, the resources are infinite (even underutilized) and there's room for everyone to have upward mobility towards their dreams."
If you're looking to level up your brand and get into the influencer game but don't know where to start, scroll down for more info!
Find Your Niche
Courtesy of Taylar Barrington.
Nobody on this earth can do you, like you, and that's why Taylar says it's important to find your niche and commit to it. She shared, "The biggest mistake new content creators make is that they're afraid to niche down. Studies have shown that when you're talking to everyone, you're talking to no one and as a result, your message gets lost."
Thriving in an oversaturated market may be difficult, but that doesn't make it impossible. Taylar says that zeroing in on the message that you want to send isn't only a plus for your customer, but can also help you grow a loyal audience organically. "It's important, that on the big vast internet where billions of messages are being served, we be intentional about who we want to talk to. You'll know you're doing it right because when they show up to your corner of the web, they feel at home:"
When defining your niche, Taylar says that the more specific you are, the better. " [For example,] instead of focusing on skincare, focus on skincare for an audience segment like women of color with dry skin, or skincare through a content channel like DIY videos."
Along with finding your niche and understanding your audience, Taylar says that it's also important to create a consistent strategy that yield high-quality results. She continued, "In a world full of microwave dinners, be a good slow-cooked, well-marinated meal. People just can't resist quality. Find a consistent strategy for creating quality content, and show up with excellence every time."
"In a world full of microwave dinners, be a good slow-cooked, well-marinated meal. People just can't resist quality. Find a consistent strategy for creating quality content, and show up with excellence every time."
Know Your Why
Courtesy of Taylar Barrington.
No business or personal brand is picture-perfect, and this is especially true if there was no vision to begin with. Taylar says that one major misstep entrepreneurs make when developing their brand is forgetting to lay down a solid foundation.
She advised, "Identify what you plan to do with your platform, who exactly you plan to do it for, and how you plan to do it. These very foundational steps are often overlooked but are important in deciding your audience, niche and content purpose."
Once you understand why you're doing it, you need to understand why people should actually care. According to Taylar, solidifying a brand promise and creating a way to measure results is a sure way to level up more than just your follower count. She explained, "It's very easy to allow the Internet to tempt you to be someone other than you, but regardless of how easy it seems to do something that will help you build numbers, you have to have an unwavering commitment to simply being you. What's most important, is showing up the way that makes you feel good and true - focusing on the impact. The steady, dependable, numbers will follow."
"It's very easy to allow the Internet to tempt you to be someone other than you, but regardless of how easy it seems to do something that will help you build numbers, you have to have an unwavering commitment to simply being you."
She continued, "Change your mindset to measure success on impact. Can you motivate people to take action? To engage with your content? Once they do show up, be focused on the people who you are already serving, and serve them really, really well. It's not about numbers, it's about the influence."
Network Your Ass Off
Courtesy of Taylar Barrington.
Any healthy relationship needs a certain level of reciprocity, and Taylar says that when you're developing new business connections, it's important to think more about what you can give than what you can take. Creating long-term business relationships might be easier than you think, but Taylar challenges us to do more than make a connection. According to her, the goal is to create a community.
During our talk, Taylar also stressed the importance of being selective with your network. Every business opportunity that looks good isn't necessarily good for you, and this is important to keep in mind when meeting new people in your industry.
"Finally, I'd say be clear about what you need/want. Everything that glitters isn't your gold and every opportunity, isn't an opportunity for you." She continued, "This means you have to get really honest with yourself about your immediate next steps and create a networking strategy that aligns."
To learn more about Cliquish and join the movement, click here! And you can keep up with Taylar on Instagram @TaylarBarrington.
Featured image courtesy of Taylar Barrington.
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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Featured image by Giphy