September is about being confident, getting organized, communicating, and claiming your blessings. A lot of pleasant and fulfilling energy is playing out this month, but a few surprises will be coming up for people as well. The month begins with the Sun in goddess Virgo, and life is a little more focused, grounded, and nurturing in this energy. The Sun will be in this earth sign for most of September until September 22, and this is a good month to get things in order, cleanse your space, be there for others, and take care of your overall health and well-being.
On the first day of the month, two retrogrades are grabbing our attention. Uranus goes retrograde in Taurus until January 30, 2025, and Pluto retrograde enters Capricorn until October 11. With Uranus moving into retrograde motion, we are rethinking our creative visions and stance on things, and this can bring up areas of your life where you are needing a little more freedom. Pluto has been retrograde in Aquarius since early May and moves into Capricorn on September 1, finishing off its over-a-decade-long Pluto in Capricorn transit that began in 2008. While Pluto is in retrograde in Capricorn, it is a time of reflecting on what you have built in your life and the foundations and systems that have empowered you.
September 2 brings the New Moon of the month, and this New Moon will be aligning with the Sun in the sign of Virgo. A Virgo New Moon is all about setting intentions for your future goals and plans, grounding your energy, creating space by cleaning or sprucing up the home, and taking care of yourself. This is an empowering New Moon and is a good time to manifest and open up to receive some new abundance. Mars enters Cancer on September 4, and Mars in Cancer brings up a lot of emotions, but also a lot of dedication, love, and connection.
More passion and motivation are going towards the home, the inner world, and emotional well-being in this energy, and this is a healing transit.
Mercury moves into Virgo, and we get an opportunity for enhanced creativity, ideas, and intuition. Mercury will be direct in Virgo from September 9 until September 26, and this is a chance for a re-do and an opportunity to see something you may have missed before. Mercury was retrograde in Virgo from August 5 to August 14, and what wasn’t working for you then is coming up again for you now, but you have new tools and wisdom to approach it. September 17 brings the Supermoon Lunar Eclipse in Pisces, and this is when things start shaking up this month.
This particular Full Moon is special because it’s a Lunar Eclipse, Supermoon, and Harvest Moon all in one. There is a lot of abundant, supporting, and nurturing energy coming forth during this Eclipse and it’s an opportunity to reflect and let go of old insecurities and self-doubt. A lot is awakening and being put into perspective during this time and it’s everything we need to prepare for this Eclipse Season.
Libra Season officially begins on September 22, and we end September, bringing the focus to love. Libra Season is always a time when relationships and partnerships are more of the focus, and this energy is further enhanced this year by Venus entering Scorpio on the same day. Think about your close commitments and where you are feeling valued, nurtured, and supported, or where you can ask for what you need more. Mercury will be entering Libra on September 26, and there is a lot to think about as the month ends. Overall, September is here to bring in some new blessings, clarity, and connections.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what the month has in store.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
You are focused on getting things done this month, Aries. You have more responsibilities on your plate right now, but it’s nothing you can’t handle or haven’t prepared for. September begins with a New Moon in your 6th house of health, routine, daily life, and your working environment and this is a good time to set your intentions for your overall well-being in life. What are you committing yourself to right now, and how can you bring a more grounded and organized approach to your daily routine?
On September 4, Mars, your ruling planet, enters your 4th house of home, family, your inner world, and sense of security in life and you are being motivated by growth more than ever. Extra activity and commotion are expected in the home with this transit, so make sure you are finding your balance and taking care of yourself, too. In September, we also have a Lunar Eclipse, and this eclipse will be happening in an area of your chart that represents closure, letting go, and healing. Big transformations occur as you end the month, but these are positive outcomes from the work you have done.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
Your guidance for the month is to let it go, Taurus. Don’t hold onto things too tightly that haven’t worked out for you, and listen to your body when it’s telling you to slow down. You have been carrying a lot on your shoulders, and with the Sun in your 5th house for most of this month, you are being nudged to have more fun, relax, and focus on the things and people that make you truly happy. With Uranus going retrograde in your sign at the start of the month on September 1, you are doing a lot of reflecting and reworking in September and seeing where you have been feeling overburdened.
There is a New Moon in fellow earth sign Virgo on September 2, and this is an exciting and romantic New Moon for you. Set your intentions for love, and focus on what your heart wants to manifest. Before the month ends, Venus, your ruling planet, moves into your sister sign, Scorpio, until October 17, and this is good news for you. Venus, over the next few weeks, will bring you the full picture in love and will be one of the more romantic and fulfilling times of the year for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
September is a month of success, stability, and support for you, Gemini. You are walking into new doors this month and feeling the recognition you have hoped for. There is a lot to look forward to in your life right now, and with a New Moon in your 4th house, as the month begins, a lot of this success and positive support is coming in for you in terms of family, home life, and overall abundance. You are feeling more stable and grounded as you enter the month, and it’s encouraging you to think more about what is possible for you.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, moves into Virgo on September 9 and will be joining the Sun in your 4th house. With Mercury here, the best conversations you are having right now are the more intimate ones in safe and comfy settings, and you’re connecting with others on another level during this transit until September 26. Before September comes to an end, the Sun moves into a fellow air sign, Libra, and after a month of gaining new ground, taking things slow, and enjoying your successes, you move into a season of love, entertainment, and freedom.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is about giving yourself more grace and focusing on self-love and confidence, Cancer. The energy of the month is in your 3rd house of communication, transportation, siblings, and neighbors, and life is usually more active when the Sun is here. You are doing a lot and having important conversations right now, but remember to have confidence and self-assurance with what is moving around in your life. You show people how to treat you with how you treat yourself, and this month is a time to check in to make sure everything is aligning for you.
On September 17, we have the Lunar Eclipse of the month, and this Eclipse occurs in an area of your life that has to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education. You are gaining a new perspective in September, and you may see some old travel plans finally fall through for you during this time. You are moving around a lot this month, and new doors open for you when you get your energy moving. Before September ends, Venus moves into your 9th house of adventure, and you are feeling the need for more freedom and renewed energy in your love life as you end the month.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
September is a fresh start for you, Leo. After dealing with Mercury retrograde in your sign at the end of last month, Mercury is finally direct in Leo until September 9, and you get to walk into this month with a little less weight on your shoulders. You are feeling inspired and excited for the future right now, and there is a lot to look forward to in your life. The New Moon, happening on September 2, is a good chance to manifest new opportunities for yourself financially, and this is a time to ask for a raise, open a new door career-wise, get a promotion, or discover a new stream of income.
As you are balancing the new developments that are taking place for you both personally and financially at the beginning of the month, Mars enters your 12th house of closure on September 4, bringing the energy to a slow down and urging you to process, heal, and get some more rest. While Mars is in your 12th house until November 3, you may feel a lack of energy and a need to take a step back and heal. Listen to your body and trust that when you take care of yourself, you can do more things in return.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
Virgo Season is fully here, and you are ready to have some fun and thrive, Virgo. This is a more upbeat, positive, and harmonious month for you and you are focused on enjoying your life. There was a lot of heaviness you had to move through this summer, and once September comes around, you are letting all of that go and embracing the new love, people, and opportunities surrounding you.
The New Moon in Virgo on September 2 is one of the most powerful New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest, and you should be thinking of your personal progress, self-empowerment, and path to joy at the start of September.
Mercury moves into your sign from September 9 until September 26, and this is your ruling planet; therefore, the stars are aligning in the best ways for you mentally right now. While Mercury is in your sign, you will be doing a lot of thinking, writing, communicating, and processing. Take it all in, but don’t overwhelm yourself with perfection or the tiny details.
Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse in your 7th house of partnership, and love is coming full circle to bless you with some more support and encouragement.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
You are working through a lot and overcoming some fears in September, Libra. There has been a lot of unexpected energy in your life recently, and it's left you feeling uneasy about what’s next. This month is a chance for reflection and a time to let go of unhealthy obsessions or perspectives that are limiting your experience of life. The New Moon of the month occurs on September 2 and will be in your 12th house of endings, healing, dreams, and secrets, and this is a good time to set your intentions for your healing and transformations in life. Work through what is coming up for you right now without judging or shaming, Libra.
Libra Season officially begins on September 22, and you get to take a step back and look at the life that has come full circle for you. With the Sun in your sign for the next month, you have more energy at your disposal, and after a heavy month, you are breaking free from the past. New beginnings are in store for you as you move out of September, and with Mercury entering your sign from September 26 until October 13, more mental well-being and clarity are flourishing for you as well.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
This month is all about perspective, Scorpio. You are working through some self-doubts and insecurities in September, and it’s time to focus on the bigger picture and stop overthinking things. A New Moon is happening in your 11th house of hopes, dreams, friendships, and wishes on September 2, and this is a good time to manifest. Focus on where you want to see more growth, connection, and clarity in your life, and write a list of things that are purposeful for you or that make you feel authentically you that you want to see more of in your life.
Mars, your ruling planet, moves into fellow water sign, Cancer, on September 4 and will be here until November 3, enhancing your more adventurous side. It’s all about thinking outside the box right now, getting out of your comfort zone, traveling, and trying new things. The Supermoon Lunar Eclipse of the month is also happening in a water sign and will be coming full circle on September 17 in the sign of Pisces. This Full Moon for you is an awakening of love, and you are getting a moment to take a deep breath, enjoy, and flow in gratitude for the love that is here for you now.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
This month is all about getting things moving and taking action, Sagittarius. You are focused on your goals, career life, reputation, and achievements, and you are showing up and making things happen for yourself. The month begins with Mars, the planet of passion, energy, and direction, moving into your 8th house, which is the area of your life that rules shared finances, commitments, intimacy, debts, resources, and transformation. You are getting down to the nitty gritty this month and will be cleaning the house while also creating space for new abundance to enter.
September is an empowering month for you overall, and a lot of this energy is going to stabilize more for you once the Lunar Eclipse comes around on September 17. On the day of this Eclipse, focus on letting go of feeling like your life has been out of your hands, and write lists of gratitude for areas of your life where you have grown this year or felt more stable and secure. As you end the month, the Sun moves into Libra and into your 11th house, and you walk into a month where your friendships and community will be grabbing more of your focus as you recognize you don’t have to do it all alone.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
You are moving into something better, Capricorn; remember that this month. This is a more emotional time of the year for you and you are working through some things that have been weighing heavy on your mind. The perspectives you are gaining are invaluable, and these eye-opening experiences occur right as you enter the month as Pluto goes retrograde in your sign on September 1. While Pluto is retrograde in Capricorn until October 11, notice in which ways you have personally evolved over the last decade or so and what changes you have made in your life that have truly empowered you and made you feel like you were on the right path.
The New Moon occurring this month is in fellow earth sign Virgo on September 2, and this is a good time to get out, go somewhere new, or plan a trip. Set your intentions for where you want to grow and learn over the next month, and take some more time out to have fun. On September 17, the Lunar Eclipse of the month rolls around, and this Eclipse is an opportunity for you to clear the air. This Eclipse will be happening in your 3rd house of the mind, and it’s all about receiving the messages and guidance you have been looking for, using your voice, and communicating how you are feeling.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
Expect the unexpected this month, Aquarius. You are at a moment in your life when you are not where you have been, but you are also not where you want to go either. You are finding your way this month and with the Sun in your 8th house of transformation, changes will fall into place in the process. Once Mars enters your 6th house on September 4, you will feel a lot more energy to take care of yourself and your health, and this is a good time to take care of the things you have been putting on the back burner. Whatever you prioritize this month has the chance to really grow into something beautiful in the future; remember that.
On September 17, we have a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse occurring in your 2nd house of income, values, confidence, and stability, and this Eclipse is about focusing on gratitude and letting go of the rest. Assess all that you have created for yourself, give back, pay off a debt, clean up your purse, wallet, or finances, and be free. You are getting a lot of things in order financially this month and this Eclipse will be helping you make that needed space. Overall, this month is about putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that your positive intentions are coming true for you.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
Focus on what makes you happy and what changes need to be made to experience more of that, Pisces. It’s all about having the right perspective right now, and with the energy in your 7th house of love for most of this month, you may be feeling more pressure in your relationships or love life right now. The New Moon that occurs in your opposite sign, Virgo, on September 2, is the perfect opportunity to set your intentions for love, and this is a good time to give yourself a fresh start here and to trust that you deserve an easy and fulfilling romance.
The Lunar Eclipse happening this month will be in your sign, and it’s also a Supermoon and a Harvest Moon all in one. This is an abundant and fulfilling time of the month for you, and even though you are still working through a lot of personal changes right now, you are overall feeling the need for them and how much life is getting better for you from here. As we end the month, Venus, the planet of love, moves into your 5th house of romance, happiness, creativity, and sex, and you are entering a spicy time of the year when love takes a turn and things start heating up for you.
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock