7 Weekly Reflection Questions To Prepare For A Great Week

1. "Were my goals realistic?"

It’s Venus Williams who once said, “Set realistic goals, keep re-evaluating, and be consistent.” If you add to that one of my favorite Message Version Scriptures, “It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it” (Ecclesiastes 7:18 — Message), you’ll probably see why I framed this question in the way that I did.

You know, I once read that a whopping 92 percent of people never reach their goals. Although some research says that the reason why is due to things like having too much on your plate and not having individuals to hold you accountable, I also believe that not coming up with goals that are realistic can play a significant role, too. For instance, if you make $45,000 a year and you want to buy a new car (not get a note; buy it flat-out and not used — brand spanking new), is it realistic that you can save enough to do that in six months (without messing with your savings)? How much stress is that going to put on you in other areas? Would something like 16 months make more sense?

Listen, life throws out enough curve balls without you being out here applying so much pressure to yourself that either you don’t get anything done or you don’t do things well. That said, for something to be seen as realistic, it needs to be practical — something that is literally attainable. When it comes to the short-term and long-term goals that you have put before you, how realistic are they? And when it comes to this week, specifically, how practical were you about having the time and energy to achieve some of the goals that are on your list?

2. "Did I make my (holistic) health a priority?"

Your health? It should take precedence over just about everything else that you’ve got on your plate, so let’s not tap dance around this one, okay? As you’re seeking the answer to this question:

• If you don’t exercise, your health is not a top priority.
• If you don’t know how to rest, your health is not a top priority.
• If you keep choosing people, places, things, and/or ideas that stress you out, your health is not a top priority.
• If you spend more time in drive-thrus than at your stove, your health is not a top priority.
• If you have poor boundaries at work, your health is not a top priority.
• If you’re in a relationship that is ultimately making you worse instead of better, your health is not a top priority.
• If you can’t remember the last time that you saw your doctor or dentist, your health is not a top priority.
• If you don’t have a day set aside, every week, where you can chill out for at least half of it, your health is not a top priority.
• If you don’t have a travel budget (even if it’s only ten bucks a paycheck), your health is not a top priority.
• If you say “yes” more than “no” to things that are asked of you, your health is not a top priority.

And listen, none of this is to make you feel bad; it’s simply a reminder that if you find yourself doing anything and everything but the 10 things that I just mentioned, there is no time like the present to make some changes — because, when it’s all said and done, if you’re not prioritizing what is best for your mind, body, and spirit, what’s the point in trying to do anything else? You won’t be in a good space to enjoy it.

3. "Did I feed my strengths instead of obsessing over my weaknesses?"

Some of the best advice that I’ve ever heard is when I listened to a friend of mine by the name of Shannon Sanders speak at a local college several years back. He simply said, “You can work on your weaknesses and become mediocre or work on your strengths and become supernatural.” LISTEN. HERE.

Something that immediately comes to my mind about my own world is my writing vs. my singing. Even though I have people in my life who are surprised that I can sing as well as I do (because I don’t do it a lot; that wasn’t something that I was told I did well while growing up in my house), what I know that I have a gift for is writing. Sometimes, I can pen 10,000 words a day (no joke); that’s not bragging either because I know that it is a spiritual ability that God has given me. Anyway, because I see my singing as a talent and my writing as a gift (and yes, there is a difference), I have always chosen to spend more time strengthening my keystrokes — and boy, has it paid off…literally and figuratively!

Although our negative bias tends to make us want to hone in on what we are so-so at or even what we wish we could do as well as other people, imagine what you could accomplish if you put that energy into your strengths and gifts instead. Towards the end of this week, jot down five things that you know you are pretty “next level” at (and yes, if you really think about it, there are some things). Then, come up with a plan for how you are going to sharpen those abilities over the next several days. Then, every week, rinse and repeat.

4. "What were my biggest time wasters?"

A part of the reason why I’ve written articles for this platform like “Love Is Patient. But Is Your Relationship Just Wasting Your Time?” and “These Bad Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time” is because I wholeheartedly believe that one of the worst things that you could ever do is waste your time or allow someone else to do it. Why? Because no matter how much we like to romanticize matters and claim that we can “redeem” time, we really can’t. Not fully, anyway. Once today is gone, it’s a wrap.

Once your next birthday comes around, you are a year older and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it. Now, can you double or triple up on efforts on another day? Sure. However, imagine if you simply used each 24-hour day wisely instead of wearing yourself out thin to make up for (literal) lost time. That said, honestly, the fact that the average person spends around 2.5 hours on social media on a daily basis?

Unless it’s work-related, I don’t see how that’s not a waste of time. Reading about other people’s business, debating with trolls, wishing that your life was like the screenshot of someone else’s — how is that making the most of your time? In two-and-a-half hours, you could meal prep for the week, have sex with your partner, and take a power nap. All of those things benefit you personally. Can you say the same thing about whatever you’re watching (or is it being distracted by?) on TikTok every day?

I mean…can you?

5. "Who/What was my greatest teacher? Who/What was my greatest hindrance?"

Personally, something that is like fingernails on the chalkboard to/for me is when someone does something that is clearly silly, stupid, or dangerous, and then, when they tell another person and that individual brings the ridiculousness to their attention, their response is something along the lines of, “Hey, you’re not supposed to judge me.” What in the world? Sometimes judgment is a form of accountability and yes, we all need that.

That’s why, when it comes to this particular question, I’m not saying that your teacher has to be someone who told you what you wanted to hear; hell, they don’t even have to be someone who you particularly like. This question is all about who is the individual who gave you the most profound ah-ha moment, who provided a perspective that you wouldn’t have considered otherwise, who challenged you in a way that, deep down, you know that you absolutely needed; who showed you something about yourself that you know you need to change and/or who said something that you know will stick with you for the long haul?

In this life — if we’re all truly paying attention, that is — not a day goes by when we’re not a teacher to someone and a student to someone (sometimes both at the same time). This week, who served as your greatest teacher?

It doesn’t stop there, though. As I was in the process of writing my latest book, I sat and thought about how many ideas that I’ve imparted into others that have turned out to be very lucrative for them. You know, sometimes, I would get so caught up in basically consulting for free that it took away from my own desires and potential projects.

Now, when it comes to my peeps, my tribe, my folks, that’s different. Random individuals, though? It’s funny how, after a while, people can start to act like they are entitled to your pearls of wisdom. Those types? They are what I consider to be hindrances because a hindrance is anything or anyone that/who impedes, stops, or prevents something that you are trying to accomplish.

Here’s the thing about hindrances, too — sometimes they can be fun; that doesn’t mean they still aren’t in the way, though (yeah, somebody really needed to hear that). So, when it comes to certain things that you are looking to do in this season of your life, ponder what or who hindered that this week. Then, going into next week, make a promise to yourself that you will either remove it or them altogether or that you will set some firm limits until what you are trying to do actually gets…DONE.

6. "What do I need to do differently?"

Although there is a lot about Dr. Phil that I side-eye, there are a couple of things that he has said that stick with me (in a good way). One is whenever someone will try to justify their either counterproductive or straight-up toxic behavior and he’ll simply say, “Uh-uh. And how is that working for ya?” Doing something a certain way simply because that’s how you’ve always done it (or your family has always done it)? That really isn’t a good enough reason — not if trying a different approach is going to prove to be more productive and beneficial for you.

So, whether it’s the route that you take to work (the one that constantly keeps you stuck in traffic), the way that you prioritize your to-do list (when it always leaves you with several unchecked things), or how you put others’ needs ahead of your own (to the point where you have no time for a bubble bath or money in your budget to pamper yourself) — definitely take out a moment to ponder if you need to do some tweaking or switching up when it comes to certain ways that you go about doing things.

Because if you can’t see clear signs of how you are currently moving in life is holistically benefitting you, you need to do something — or some things — very differently. And there is no time like the present.

7. "Did I celebrate myself?"

One of my friends is currently working on her dissertation — while she is teaching at a college. Chile, being a student and a teacher at the same time?! I can’t even imagine. Anyway, for pretty obvious reasons, we don’t talk as much as we used to (right through here) because it’s not like she’s exactly “big on words” these days. However, as we were catching up recently, she told me that she has reached another milestone in her dissertation process, and I said, “So, what did you do to celebrate?”I was almost pissed that all I heard was crickets over the phone.

“Shellie, it’s not like I completed it; the next step just got approved.”

Girl, what are you even talking about? I promise I’m not hearing you.

Another reason why a lot of us struggle with going as far in life as we want to is that we spend — which is more like waste — more time thinking about how much we want/need to do as opposed to taking out moments to actually celebrate the progress that we’ve made thus far. That’s why in a previous article, I referenced the importance of rewarding oneself, in other articles, I talk about why you should toast yourself (hell, I do that on an almost daily basis at this point) and, in this one, I’m wrapping this up by encouraging you, at the end of every week and then as a pat on the back for preparing for the next, to celebrate yourself.

It boosts self-confidence. It reminds you to honor how far you’ve come. It helps you to not feel defeated along the way.

So, this weekend, don’t forget to do something that will cause you to praise yourself. Praise is simply a form of approval, and when you’ve ended one week and then put steps in place to have an even better one, you definitely should pat yourself on the back for doing that! In some form or fashion — fresh flowers, a bottle of wine, a pint of ice cream, a new color lipstick, some sexy pajamas…something — please make sure that you do.

This week…and every single week that is to follow.

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