Venus Williams Wants You To Mind Your Own Uterus, Opens Up About Pressure To Have Kids
Venus Williams is one of the highest-regarded athletes of our time. She has multiple trophies and Grand Slams, she competes at a high level that many of us will never understand, and she's related to one of the most important sports figures that changed the shape of the history of sports as we know it: Mr. Richard Williams.
Oh, and Serena too.
And, when she's not expanding her widely successful tennis career, you can catch Venus building businesses, advocating for wage equality, and raising awareness about mental health and self-care. Because Venus is so busy, and if you were to look to her sister, who has married and has a precious four-year-old daughter, this struck the need for people to feel like they can chime in on when she plans to settle down and have kids, which sis was notttt feeling at all.
In fact, when asked how she deals with social pressures to have children and settle down with someone long-term, she said:
"I like my life and I don't want to change it for any reason."
Bloooop. She added:
"I have a lot of friends who don't believe me when I say that I like my life and I don't want to change it for any reason. I'm not desperate and they don't believe me. They say things like, 'You're going to miss your window.' I'm like, 'Please, relax. You might feel this way, but I don't. I promise you I don't.'"
Lord, how many times do we have to talk about this? Mind your own uterus! And if you don't have one, guess what? Guess what?! What society says is for women, may not be what that woman wants and that is OK. Venus has taken on many roles, and if she doesn't want to be a mother, that is her choice.
Instead, she chooses to focus on supporting a balanced mental health for female athletes, which has been under the spotlight in recent months, after fellow-queens Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles opened up about their experiences. Venus revealed her own struggles at points during her career, where tough took on a whole new meaning. She detailed her struggles in an opinion piece forthe New York Times, she said:
"I used to think that winning depended on my physical health. Then my mother told me, that was only the half of it.
She continued:
"It doesn't matter who you are... you can't divorce mental health from anything you do. It impacts your physical well-being, your decision-making, your ability to cope with difficult moments. Admitting you're vulnerable is no joke. It isn't easy to ask for help or confide in people about having emotional struggles."
This echoed the sentiments of both Osaka and Biles, who famously prioritized their own well-being over any performative expectation in front of them, which is key to taking care of yourself whole-heartedly, no matter what.
In the meantime, my good sis Venus said she'll be over here on vacation, reading, relaxing, and taking care of her damn self. And I ain't mad at it.
Watch the clip of her discussing what's next (her way) below:
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Featured image by Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/Getty Images
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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