September is about being confident, getting organized, communicating, and claiming your blessings. A lot of pleasant and fulfilling energy is playing out this month, but a few surprises will be coming up for people as well. The month begins with the Sun in goddess Virgo, and life is a little more focused, grounded, and nurturing in this energy. The Sun will be in this earth sign for most of September until September 22, and this is a good month to get things in order, cleanse your space, be there for others, and take care of your overall health and well-being.
On the first day of the month, two retrogrades are grabbing our attention. Uranus goes retrograde in Taurus until January 30, 2025, and Pluto retrograde enters Capricorn until October 11. With Uranus moving into retrograde motion, we are rethinking our creative visions and stance on things, and this can bring up areas of your life where you are needing a little more freedom. Pluto has been retrograde in Aquarius since early May and moves into Capricorn on September 1, finishing off its over-a-decade-long Pluto in Capricorn transit that began in 2008. While Pluto is in retrograde in Capricorn, it is a time of reflecting on what you have built in your life and the foundations and systems that have empowered you.
September 2 brings the New Moon of the month, and this New Moon will be aligning with the Sun in the sign of Virgo. A Virgo New Moon is all about setting intentions for your future goals and plans, grounding your energy, creating space by cleaning or sprucing up the home, and taking care of yourself. This is an empowering New Moon and is a good time to manifest and open up to receive some new abundance. Mars enters Cancer on September 4, and Mars in Cancer brings up a lot of emotions, but also a lot of dedication, love, and connection.
More passion and motivation are going towards the home, the inner world, and emotional well-being in this energy, and this is a healing transit.
Mercury moves into Virgo, and we get an opportunity for enhanced creativity, ideas, and intuition. Mercury will be direct in Virgo from September 9 until September 26, and this is a chance for a re-do and an opportunity to see something you may have missed before. Mercury was retrograde in Virgo from August 5 to August 14, and what wasn’t working for you then is coming up again for you now, but you have new tools and wisdom to approach it. September 17 brings the Supermoon Lunar Eclipse in Pisces, and this is when things start shaking up this month.
This particular Full Moon is special because it’s a Lunar Eclipse, Supermoon, and Harvest Moon all in one. There is a lot of abundant, supporting, and nurturing energy coming forth during this Eclipse and it’s an opportunity to reflect and let go of old insecurities and self-doubt. A lot is awakening and being put into perspective during this time and it’s everything we need to prepare for this Eclipse Season.
Libra Season officially begins on September 22, and we end September, bringing the focus to love. Libra Season is always a time when relationships and partnerships are more of the focus, and this energy is further enhanced this year by Venus entering Scorpio on the same day. Think about your close commitments and where you are feeling valued, nurtured, and supported, or where you can ask for what you need more. Mercury will be entering Libra on September 26, and there is a lot to think about as the month ends. Overall, September is here to bring in some new blessings, clarity, and connections.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what the month has in store.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
You are focused on getting things done this month, Aries. You have more responsibilities on your plate right now, but it’s nothing you can’t handle or haven’t prepared for. September begins with a New Moon in your 6th house of health, routine, daily life, and your working environment and this is a good time to set your intentions for your overall well-being in life. What are you committing yourself to right now, and how can you bring a more grounded and organized approach to your daily routine?
On September 4, Mars, your ruling planet, enters your 4th house of home, family, your inner world, and sense of security in life and you are being motivated by growth more than ever. Extra activity and commotion are expected in the home with this transit, so make sure you are finding your balance and taking care of yourself, too. In September, we also have a Lunar Eclipse, and this eclipse will be happening in an area of your chart that represents closure, letting go, and healing. Big transformations occur as you end the month, but these are positive outcomes from the work you have done.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
Your guidance for the month is to let it go, Taurus. Don’t hold onto things too tightly that haven’t worked out for you, and listen to your body when it’s telling you to slow down. You have been carrying a lot on your shoulders, and with the Sun in your 5th house for most of this month, you are being nudged to have more fun, relax, and focus on the things and people that make you truly happy. With Uranus going retrograde in your sign at the start of the month on September 1, you are doing a lot of reflecting and reworking in September and seeing where you have been feeling overburdened.
There is a New Moon in fellow earth sign Virgo on September 2, and this is an exciting and romantic New Moon for you. Set your intentions for love, and focus on what your heart wants to manifest. Before the month ends, Venus, your ruling planet, moves into your sister sign, Scorpio, until October 17, and this is good news for you. Venus, over the next few weeks, will bring you the full picture in love and will be one of the more romantic and fulfilling times of the year for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
September is a month of success, stability, and support for you, Gemini. You are walking into new doors this month and feeling the recognition you have hoped for. There is a lot to look forward to in your life right now, and with a New Moon in your 4th house, as the month begins, a lot of this success and positive support is coming in for you in terms of family, home life, and overall abundance. You are feeling more stable and grounded as you enter the month, and it’s encouraging you to think more about what is possible for you.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, moves into Virgo on September 9 and will be joining the Sun in your 4th house. With Mercury here, the best conversations you are having right now are the more intimate ones in safe and comfy settings, and you’re connecting with others on another level during this transit until September 26. Before September comes to an end, the Sun moves into a fellow air sign, Libra, and after a month of gaining new ground, taking things slow, and enjoying your successes, you move into a season of love, entertainment, and freedom.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is about giving yourself more grace and focusing on self-love and confidence, Cancer. The energy of the month is in your 3rd house of communication, transportation, siblings, and neighbors, and life is usually more active when the Sun is here. You are doing a lot and having important conversations right now, but remember to have confidence and self-assurance with what is moving around in your life. You show people how to treat you with how you treat yourself, and this month is a time to check in to make sure everything is aligning for you.
On September 17, we have the Lunar Eclipse of the month, and this Eclipse occurs in an area of your life that has to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education. You are gaining a new perspective in September, and you may see some old travel plans finally fall through for you during this time. You are moving around a lot this month, and new doors open for you when you get your energy moving. Before September ends, Venus moves into your 9th house of adventure, and you are feeling the need for more freedom and renewed energy in your love life as you end the month.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
September is a fresh start for you, Leo. After dealing with Mercury retrograde in your sign at the end of last month, Mercury is finally direct in Leo until September 9, and you get to walk into this month with a little less weight on your shoulders. You are feeling inspired and excited for the future right now, and there is a lot to look forward to in your life. The New Moon, happening on September 2, is a good chance to manifest new opportunities for yourself financially, and this is a time to ask for a raise, open a new door career-wise, get a promotion, or discover a new stream of income.
As you are balancing the new developments that are taking place for you both personally and financially at the beginning of the month, Mars enters your 12th house of closure on September 4, bringing the energy to a slow down and urging you to process, heal, and get some more rest. While Mars is in your 12th house until November 3, you may feel a lack of energy and a need to take a step back and heal. Listen to your body and trust that when you take care of yourself, you can do more things in return.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
Virgo Season is fully here, and you are ready to have some fun and thrive, Virgo. This is a more upbeat, positive, and harmonious month for you and you are focused on enjoying your life. There was a lot of heaviness you had to move through this summer, and once September comes around, you are letting all of that go and embracing the new love, people, and opportunities surrounding you.
The New Moon in Virgo on September 2 is one of the most powerful New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest, and you should be thinking of your personal progress, self-empowerment, and path to joy at the start of September.
Mercury moves into your sign from September 9 until September 26, and this is your ruling planet; therefore, the stars are aligning in the best ways for you mentally right now. While Mercury is in your sign, you will be doing a lot of thinking, writing, communicating, and processing. Take it all in, but don’t overwhelm yourself with perfection or the tiny details.
Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse in your 7th house of partnership, and love is coming full circle to bless you with some more support and encouragement.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
You are working through a lot and overcoming some fears in September, Libra. There has been a lot of unexpected energy in your life recently, and it's left you feeling uneasy about what’s next. This month is a chance for reflection and a time to let go of unhealthy obsessions or perspectives that are limiting your experience of life. The New Moon of the month occurs on September 2 and will be in your 12th house of endings, healing, dreams, and secrets, and this is a good time to set your intentions for your healing and transformations in life. Work through what is coming up for you right now without judging or shaming, Libra.
Libra Season officially begins on September 22, and you get to take a step back and look at the life that has come full circle for you. With the Sun in your sign for the next month, you have more energy at your disposal, and after a heavy month, you are breaking free from the past. New beginnings are in store for you as you move out of September, and with Mercury entering your sign from September 26 until October 13, more mental well-being and clarity are flourishing for you as well.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
This month is all about perspective, Scorpio. You are working through some self-doubts and insecurities in September, and it’s time to focus on the bigger picture and stop overthinking things. A New Moon is happening in your 11th house of hopes, dreams, friendships, and wishes on September 2, and this is a good time to manifest. Focus on where you want to see more growth, connection, and clarity in your life, and write a list of things that are purposeful for you or that make you feel authentically you that you want to see more of in your life.
Mars, your ruling planet, moves into fellow water sign, Cancer, on September 4 and will be here until November 3, enhancing your more adventurous side. It’s all about thinking outside the box right now, getting out of your comfort zone, traveling, and trying new things. The Supermoon Lunar Eclipse of the month is also happening in a water sign and will be coming full circle on September 17 in the sign of Pisces. This Full Moon for you is an awakening of love, and you are getting a moment to take a deep breath, enjoy, and flow in gratitude for the love that is here for you now.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
This month is all about getting things moving and taking action, Sagittarius. You are focused on your goals, career life, reputation, and achievements, and you are showing up and making things happen for yourself. The month begins with Mars, the planet of passion, energy, and direction, moving into your 8th house, which is the area of your life that rules shared finances, commitments, intimacy, debts, resources, and transformation. You are getting down to the nitty gritty this month and will be cleaning the house while also creating space for new abundance to enter.
September is an empowering month for you overall, and a lot of this energy is going to stabilize more for you once the Lunar Eclipse comes around on September 17. On the day of this Eclipse, focus on letting go of feeling like your life has been out of your hands, and write lists of gratitude for areas of your life where you have grown this year or felt more stable and secure. As you end the month, the Sun moves into Libra and into your 11th house, and you walk into a month where your friendships and community will be grabbing more of your focus as you recognize you don’t have to do it all alone.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
You are moving into something better, Capricorn; remember that this month. This is a more emotional time of the year for you and you are working through some things that have been weighing heavy on your mind. The perspectives you are gaining are invaluable, and these eye-opening experiences occur right as you enter the month as Pluto goes retrograde in your sign on September 1. While Pluto is retrograde in Capricorn until October 11, notice in which ways you have personally evolved over the last decade or so and what changes you have made in your life that have truly empowered you and made you feel like you were on the right path.
The New Moon occurring this month is in fellow earth sign Virgo on September 2, and this is a good time to get out, go somewhere new, or plan a trip. Set your intentions for where you want to grow and learn over the next month, and take some more time out to have fun. On September 17, the Lunar Eclipse of the month rolls around, and this Eclipse is an opportunity for you to clear the air. This Eclipse will be happening in your 3rd house of the mind, and it’s all about receiving the messages and guidance you have been looking for, using your voice, and communicating how you are feeling.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
Expect the unexpected this month, Aquarius. You are at a moment in your life when you are not where you have been, but you are also not where you want to go either. You are finding your way this month and with the Sun in your 8th house of transformation, changes will fall into place in the process. Once Mars enters your 6th house on September 4, you will feel a lot more energy to take care of yourself and your health, and this is a good time to take care of the things you have been putting on the back burner. Whatever you prioritize this month has the chance to really grow into something beautiful in the future; remember that.
On September 17, we have a Supermoon Lunar Eclipse occurring in your 2nd house of income, values, confidence, and stability, and this Eclipse is about focusing on gratitude and letting go of the rest. Assess all that you have created for yourself, give back, pay off a debt, clean up your purse, wallet, or finances, and be free. You are getting a lot of things in order financially this month and this Eclipse will be helping you make that needed space. Overall, this month is about putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that your positive intentions are coming true for you.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
Focus on what makes you happy and what changes need to be made to experience more of that, Pisces. It’s all about having the right perspective right now, and with the energy in your 7th house of love for most of this month, you may be feeling more pressure in your relationships or love life right now. The New Moon that occurs in your opposite sign, Virgo, on September 2, is the perfect opportunity to set your intentions for love, and this is a good time to give yourself a fresh start here and to trust that you deserve an easy and fulfilling romance.
The Lunar Eclipse happening this month will be in your sign, and it’s also a Supermoon and a Harvest Moon all in one. This is an abundant and fulfilling time of the month for you, and even though you are still working through a lot of personal changes right now, you are overall feeling the need for them and how much life is getting better for you from here. As we end the month, Venus, the planet of love, moves into your 5th house of romance, happiness, creativity, and sex, and you are entering a spicy time of the year when love takes a turn and things start heating up for you.
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
RELATED
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock