Your October Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Intimacy & Healing
Fall is officially here to restore the balance between night and day as well as our relationships with much of the energy focused on Libra.
Power struggles within our connections, and even within ourselves, will be eased as Pluto goes direct, assisting us in harmonizing our lives. As we move along into the month, the focus shifts to matters of intimacy, healing, and psychological rebirth as more of the inner planets transit through Scorpio.
Check out your horoscope below to see what October has in store for you.
Aries
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The Sun spends most of the month in your opposite sign, Libra, encouraging you to balance out your relationships and revise any contractual agreements. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct, helping you get more clear about how to wield your authority, particularly within the workplace. This is a good time to put the lessons you've been learning about authentic power into practice. Mercury moves into Scorpio the same day and you're yearning for more deep interactions during this transit. Topics ranging from psychology, healing, and even the occult will pique your interest during this transit. Your ruling planet, Mars, moves into Libra on the 4th, inviting you to take a win-win approach when it comes to your key connections.
On the 8th, Venus moves into sultry Scorpio and love matters get even more intimate for you with a little sexual healing on the top of your to-do list. Your Full Moon takes place on the 13th, illuminating parts of your identity that you no longer resonate with. Just like the leaves fall from the trees during Autumn, you're shedding old layers of yourself to make space for the new. On the 23rd, the Sun moves into Scorpio with a New Moon following shortly behind, initiating you into a deeply transformative time that will give birth to a more healed, whole, and integrated version of yourself. The month winds down with Mercury going retrograde on Halloween, giving you a chance to revisit an important conversation you had earlier this month or to delve even deeper into your psychological metamorphosis.
Taurus
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Most of October has you focused on getting more organized in your daily routine and enhancing your health while the Sun transits through Libra. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct in Capricorn, giving you the opportunity to share your personal experiences to benefit the growth of others; keep in mind that with great power comes great responsibility. On the same day, Mercury moves into your opposite sign and your conversations with others take on more depth than usual. Mars moves into Libra on the 4th, giving you even more energy to get back into your fitness regimen.
Venus, your ruling planet, moves into sexy Scorpio on the 8th, setting you up for an erotic exchange with your lover. Be careful of mixing business with pleasure during this transit. On the 13th, the Full Moon in Aries gives you the push to clean out karmic residue lingering in your life. On the 23rd, the Sun moves into Scorpio followed by a New Moon, which has the potential to bring a new connection, romantic or professional, in your life that has more lasting potential. This is also a good time to take your existing relationship even deeper. October winds down with Mercury going retrograde on the 31st giving you a chance to work out any kinks in the contracts or agreements you've made earlier this month.
Gemini
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The Sun spends most of the month in Libra amping up the charm factor for you. If you're open to romance, make sure you get yourself out there. Prince Charming isn't just going to show up at your doorstep. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct after dragging you through a season of transforming your relationship with power. In what ways have you misused, abused, or abandoned your sense of power? Moving forward, it's time to harness this energy from a more healed and integrated space. Mars moves into Libra on the same day and you're feeling motivated to create, play, and date! It's time to let your hair down and have some fun, Gemmie.
Venus, planet of love and money, moves into Scorpio on the 8th; be mindful of workplace romances. If you're open to meeting someone, try the gym or a wellness seminar. This is also a great time for you and bae to get fit together. The Full Moon in Aries on the 13th makes you the center of attention amongst your social group making this a great night to celebrate any accomplishments or just life itself. The Sun moves into Scorpio on the 23rd, with the New Moon trailing behind on the 27th, inviting you to create some new routines and habits for yourself that will lend to a greater sense of overall wellbeing. The month wraps up with Mercury going retrograde, encouraging you to get into the details of your new health regimen and solidify those new habits you're creating.
Cancer
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Home and family matters have most of your attention while the Sun transits through Libra. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct and you're taking on a more empowered approach to your relationships moving forward. No more playing the doormat or mommy for other people (especially adults). You've got needs as well, so make sure you're voicing them. Mercury moves into Scorpio on the same day making you even more alluring than usual. You'll be feeling very romantic and creative around this time. Who knows? Maybe your current love affair will be the inspiration for your next masterpiece (or a baby).
Mars moves into Libra on the 4th and you're focused on getting your house in order or closing a deal on that property you're investing in. This is also a good time to smooth out any family drama. On the 8th, Venus moves into Scorpio and you could be bringing in some extra cash from your latest creative projects. When it comes to romance, you'll be attracting people that have more depth, and even an air of mystery, to them. The Full Moon in Aries on the 13th places the spotlight on you in matters of career and achievements. It's time to level up to bigger and better opportunities. On the 23rd, the Sun moves into Scorpio with the New Moon following shortly behind, inviting you to express your deepest sentiments through some form of artistic expression. If you're ready to add a new addition to your family, this could be a potent time to seal the deal. The month ends with Mercury going retrograde on the 31st giving you the chance to get into the details of that project you're working on or for fertility planning as well.
Leo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with your focus on learning new skills and expanding your social reach with the Sun transiting through Libra. Pluto, planet of transformation, goes direct on the 3rd granting you the wherewithal to overcome any bad habits and even addictions that have had their way with you. It's time to get back in the driver's seat and take control of your life. Mercury moves into Scorpio on the same day setting you and your family up for some Iyanla Vanzant-style breakthroughs, and breakdowns, over the month to come. Keep in mind that healing is on the other side of the chaos.
On the 4th, Mars enters Libra, and you're in overdrive when it comes to your studies and social networking. This is a good time to take a short, weekend vacay to help you avoid burnout (try to make your plans before Mercury goes retrograde at the end of the month). On the 8th, Venus moves into Scorpio and you and bae will likely want to cuddle up at home during this transit. There could be talks of moving in together or planning the expansion of your family. The Full Moon in Aries on the 13th could put you in the spotlight as a teacher or mentor figure. Publishing any written work is favorable around this time. The Sun moves into Scorpio on the 23rd with the New Moon taking place just a few days after. Relocating or planning a trip home for the holidays may be on your brain. Once Mercury goes retrograde on the 31st, you'll have some time to work out the details before executing your plans.
Virgo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
October begins with the Sun transiting through Libra bringing your attention to finances, assets, and the things you value most. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct, giving you some much-needed oomph when it comes to your creativity and approach to dating. It's time to take back control from the powers that be that inhibit the flow of your authentic expression. Mercury moves into Scorpio on the 3rd and you're feeling more raw when it comes to communicating your truth. This could also be a time in which you're interested in delving into topics like psychology, healing, and the occult.
On the 4th, Mars enters Libra helping you to balance out your budget. It's time to reel it in on the spending. How much have you been saving and investing? Venus moves into Scorpio on the 8th and convos may run deep with someone you meet online. Just make sure they're not a catfish before you become too emotionally attached.
The Full Moon in Aries on the 13th helps you break through some heavy psychological muck that's been holding back a more fearless expression of your individuality. On the 23rd, the Sun moves into Scorpio coupled with a New Moon on the 27th. It's time to set those intentions for a new project you want to start—whether it's writing that book, starting that blog, or launching that YouTube channel. October winds down with Mercury going retrograde, giving you a chance to tweak the details before making your big debut.
Libra
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Happy birthday, babe! The spotlight is on you for most of the month as the Sun transits through your sign. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct, helping you reclaim your power within family dynamics and also giving you a renewed perspective regarding generational trauma within your lineage. Mercury moves into Scorpio on the same day and money is the topic of discussion for you. Shortly after, Mars begins its transit through your sign, amping up your energy. Be mindful of overexerting yourself or being too aggressive. Try burning off some of the excess adrenaline in the gym. On the 8th, Venus moves into Scorpio inviting you to reevaluate whether you're getting paid what you're worth.
The Full Moon in Aries on the 13th can bring up some tension between your needs and those of a significant other or business partner. As thoughtful of others as you usually are, make sure your needs are being considered as well. On the 23rd, the Sun enters seductive Scorpio with a New Moon taking place shortly after on the 27th. Set some intentions for cultivating new money-making opportunities and make sure to re-evaluate any beliefs that trigger low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness. The month comes to a close with Mercury going retrograde, giving you the nudge to revise any existing contracts and to raise your prices to match the value of your skills and expertise.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The first part of the month is a bit more introspective for you as you clear your life of things that you can't drag into the new year. On the 3rd, your ruling planet, Pluto, goes direct and you're feeling like the Phoenix rising from the ashes. It's time to move forward in a more bold, authentic expression of your personal power through your communication. On the same day, Mercury enters your sign and you're craving more intimate, meaningful interactions with the people you encounter. Mars, the warrior, enters Libra helping you to take on a different aspect of this volatile energy by embracing the peaceful warrior archetype instead. It's time to be a little more flexible and open-minded in your relationships.
Venus moves into your sign on the 8th, amping up your sex appeal to mega-hottie status. Blessings abound for you in love, and money, during this transit. On the 13th, the Full Moon in Aries helps you conquer a bad habit, addiction, or even a secret obsession. Health matters could also come to the surface to remind you to take better care of your body. Your season officially takes off on the 23rd with a New Moon following shortly behind on the 27th. It's time to make a wish or even get a makeover that matches the new and improved version of yourself. The month winds down with a delectably spooky Mercury retrograde starting on Halloween, invoking the ghosts of the past to ultimately help you tie up loose ends before your next chapter begins.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Social networking and pushing towards those big-picture goals are top priorities during the first part of the month. On the 3rd, Pluto finally goes direct and you're feeling more confident about charging what you're truly worth after releasing some distorted beliefs based around your sense of worthiness and value; it's time to ditch the impostor syndrome once and for all. Mercury enters Scorpio on the same day and your connection to the Spirit world becomes all the more visceral. Keep a dream journal around this time to unravel the messages that your subconscious is communicating to you. On the 4th, Mars moves into Libra and you're hyper-focused on restoring balance within friendships and any organizations you're a part of.
Venus moves into Scorpio on the 8th and your sex appeal takes on a more subtle, yet undeniably powerful, tone. On the 13th, the Full Moon in Aries encourages you to create, play, and indulge in some romance! This is a perfect night to get out with bae or go dancing with your friends. Later in the month, the Sun enters Scorpio on the 23rd and the New Moon follows right behind on the 27th. The next few weeks encourage you to prioritize more time for rest and reflection as you release the baggage that you can't drag into your new year with you. On the 31st, Mercury goes into retrograde, giving you even more of a reason to lay low and enjoy some solitude right before your busy birthday season.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The first part of October brings your attention to leveling up in your career and striving towards those professional achievements you want to make. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct in your sign, setting wind in your sails after a grueling summer with Saturn retrograde as well. You're feeling your power and on top of your game like never before. Mercury moves into Scorpio on the same day and you're more inclined to connect with the friends that you can be your weirdest, most vulnerable self with. On the 4th, Mars moves into Libra, encouraging you to keep a level head, especially with your higher-ups or even your worker bees. Diplomacy will take you far during this transit.
Venus moves into Scorpio on the 8th and you may be developing a crush on a long-term friend, or vice versa. If you're open to meeting someone, try joining an organization that interests you. The Full Moon in Aries on the 13th may bring a conclusion to you in the home sector. You could be moving or a roommate could be transitioning elsewhere. This is also a potent time to clear the air with a mother figure or address any family drama. Two words: KEEP. CALM. Later in the month, the Sun moves into Scorpio on the 23rd coupled with a New Moon on the 27th. It's time to dream big and maybe call in your troops as well. Remember, teamwork makes the dream work. The month winds down with Mercury going retrograde on the 31st, giving you the chance to review and revise your strategy for bringing your long-term vision to life.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Spiritual development, school, and teaching are your top priorities at the beginning of the month while the Sun transits Libra. On the 3rd, Pluto, the planet of transformation, goes direct helping you push past some self-limiting beliefs regarding your personal power. The inner work you've been doing over the past several months has cleared out stagnant energy from many lifetimes so give yourself a pat on the back. On the same day, Mercury moves into Scorpio and a workplace scandal may be brewing. It's best to just play the fly on the wall while you watch your own live-action version of some janky ass reality T.V. show. On the 4th, Mars enters Libra and you're motivated to soak up as much knowledge as possible. There may also be a sudden desire to travel to some distant land. Sometimes life and experience is our greatest teacher.
On the 8th, Venus moves into Scorpio cautioning you to be mindful of workplace romances. You may be attracting, or attracted to, someone in a position of great power and influence. Just make sure you move wisely; there could even be a secret benefactor offering to assist you financially. On the 13th, the Full Moon in Aries gives you the courage you need to express your individuality with greater ease, making this an opportune time to launch that blog or start your YouTube channel. On the 23rd, the Sun enters Scorpio followed by the New Moon on the 27th. Set some intentions for how you'd like to level up in the workplace. Mercury goes retrograde on the 31st helping you strategize your way to the top.
Pisces
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The beginning of the month gets pretty deep for you as the Sun transits through Libra. You're in your quiet space of inner-transformation during the first few weeks of October. On the 3rd, Pluto goes direct, helping to ease any power struggles you've been experiencing in your friendships or social groups. Mercury enters Scorpio and you're immersed in studying spirituality and esoteric concepts during this transit. You may even have a knack for sharing your wisdom with others in an intimate setting. On the 4th, Mars moves into Libra helping you to balance out the light and the dark within yourself. It's best you acknowledge some of your repressed emotions instead of allowing them to lash out at the wrong time. Venus moves into Scorpio on the 8th and you are falling in love with the Divine all over again. Your connection to your Higher Self is restored and you're feeling way more in tune with your destined path in life.
On the 13th, the Full Moon in Aries can bring in a sudden windfall of cash or a new opportunity to make some extra income that is bestowed upon you for being your quirky, weird, true self. This is also a time to release any old ways of earning money that just don't align with who you are anymore. Scorpio season officially begins on the 23rd with a New Moon following shortly behind on the 27th. It's time to plant the seeds for that new project, book, or course you're creating that will help others in their own spiritual expansion. October ends with a perfectly aligned Mercury retrograde, giving you the chance to get into the details of your newest creation.
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Exclusive: Brandee Evans On Faith, Fibroids, And Chosen Family
Do you remember your first time at The Pynk?
We were first introduced to Mercedes at Uncle Clifford’s beloved strip joint, a matrix of secrets and self-discovery nestled deep in the heart of the Mississippi Delta. Brandee Evans, who plays the ambitious single mother and seasoned dancer in the STARZ original P-Valley, quickly won our hearts and has since earned widespread critical acclaim.
Her captivating command of the pole left many of us intrigued, perhaps even tempted, to explore pole dancing ourselves after witnessing the mesmerizing performances at Mercedes Sunday. But it wasn’t just her physical prowess that kept us hooked. Mercedes is a character of depth—empowering, complex, relatable, and deeply human.
These are qualities that Brandee embodies both on and off the screen.
(L-R) Marque Richardson and Brandee Evans on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
A Memphis native, Brandee is no stranger to dance. She boasts an impressive career as a choreographer, having worked with renowned artists like Katy Perry, Monica, Ke$ha, and Ledisi. But while it has been a significant part of her journey, Brandee has her sights set on more—expanding her acting career beyond dance-inclusive roles. This ambition nearly led her to pass on the opportunity to appear alongside Kerry Washington in Hulu’s UnPrisoned, where she plays Ava, Mal's (Marque Richardson) new girlfriend.
“When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no,” Brandee revealed with a laugh. “She mentioned pole dancing, and I told myself and my team that once I was done with Mercedes, I wasn’t going to do that again.” Fortunately, Washington assured her that the role would be vastly different, leading to what Brandee described as an invaluable masterclass in comedy under the guidance of Washington herself.
“Kerry is a force of nature,” Brandee reflected. “She’s everything you’d hope she’d be—strong, compassionate, and incredibly talented. Working with her was like a masterclass in acting.” This opportunity was no mere stroke of luck; it was something Brandee had manifested years earlier. But make no mistake–she credits her faith and praying hands for her success. “I’m praying, you know what I mean? I’m asking God for what I want and working for it too,” she said.
"When Kerry Washington slid into my DMs, I nearly said no."
(L-R) Brandee Evans, Kerry Washington, and Marque Richardson on 'UnPrisoned' Season 2
Courtesy: Hulu
This role marked Brandee’s first foray into comedy, and while she was eager to embrace the challenge, she found herself in the hands of an incredible mentor. “Kerry was always so kind in her critiques,” Brandee noted. “She’s not a diva by any means. She knows exactly what she wants, but she’s gentle and encouraging in bringing it out of you. That’s something I’ve taken with me to other sets—I want to lead with the same kindness and openness that Kerry showed me. It’s a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”
Brandee speaks with profound respect and gratitude for her peers and fellow actresses as many have shown her genuine sisterhood and support in an industry often notorious for its competitiveness. “Danielle Brooks sent me a prayer the other day, and I was just so touched. Those are the moments that people don’t see,” she shared. “I call Sheryll Lee Ralph my fairy godmother, and Loretta Devine is like my auntie. Being able to pick up the phone and seek advice from these incredible women is a true blessing.”
And she pays it forward.
Brandee Evans
Courtesy: Hulu
But her commitment to supporting others extends far beyond her career. As an advocate for health and wellness, she empowers women to prioritize their well-being. “Azaria [Carter], who plays my daughter on P-Valley, mentioned wanting to start a weight loss journey and get more fit. I told her, ‘Well, let’s work out together,’” Brandee recounted. But her dedication to healthy living goes beyond physical fitness, encompassing a holistic approach to wellness. “When she came to my house and tried to microwave something in plastic, I said, ‘Let’s use glass instead. At 20, I wasn’t thinking about that, but let me share some tips now so you’re not battling fibroids in your 30s.’”
Because she was.
While filming the first season of P-Valley, Brandee faced enormous stress—not only as a caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but also due to the physical demands of the role. Yet the impact on her body was far greater than she expected. “I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal,” Brandee revealed. It was Harriet D. Foy, who plays her mother, who urged her to get checked for fibroids.
"I was literally on my cycle every day while playing a stripper, which is far from ideal."
Brandee Evans graces the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony.
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE
The statistics are staggering—80% of Black women develop abnormal uterine growths by age 50, making them more likely to suffer from fibroids than any other racial group. But like many, Brandee was initially unaware of these growths and their debilitating effects, and the prospect of surgery was daunting. “I was scheduled to have a myomectomy on my birthday, but I thought about what it would mean for my career. How am I going to climb the pole? The healing process is similar to a C-section.” Determined to avoid surgery, she committed to healing herself naturally.
After a deep dive, she sought treatment at The Herb Shop of Vinings in Atlanta, which ultimately led to a remarkable recovery. “This man saves lives. His name is Jeff, and I call him my doctor.” Brandee shared. “I started detoxing my body with herbs and following his program. During my follow-up with the gynecologist, they said, ‘We don’t know what you’re doing, but your fibroids are shrinking.’”
Emerging on the other side of this journey not only fibroid-free but with a regulated cycle and a renewed outlook on life, Brandee is now focused on sharing her story and advocating for women’s health. “I know y’all want to hear about P-Valley, but I want to talk about regulating your period,” she said with a laugh.
Of course, she didn’t leave fans hanging when it came to what to expect in the upcoming season. “It is worth the wait. The world is about to go crazy. Oh, the world is about to lose it,” Brandee teased. “Y’all might be mad at us right now, but baby, it’s going to be worth it.”
All episodes of Season 2 of UnPrisoned are now streaming on Hulu.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu
Even though I don’t do social media (I’m contemplating creating something for my new book; we’ll see, chile), because I do share my email in my bio on this platform, I do get emails from readers. Not too long ago, someone asked me why I was writing more and more about menopause (check out “Sex And Menopause. What You Should Know.,” for example).
Fair question. The two main ones are because 1) if there is one thing that pretty much every woman is going to have to go through in life, it’s menopause, and 2) sometimes people forget that followers of platforms get older just like the platforms do, so it’s wise, sensitive and relevant to offer up content that recognizes that. I mean, even if you’ve only been reading our stuff for five years, you’re five years older now — and since perimenopause can last anywhere from afew months to an entire decade and also sincethe average age for menopause is 51…well, see what I mean?
The closer you get to about 43 or so, the more pertinent this type of info becomes.
If you add to that the fact that sex is something that I write about pretty regularly over here, then yes — I thought that it is honestly past time that I interview some women who are past having a menstrual cycle and all that comes with it (which can be a blessing in disguise on a few levels, chile) and yet, at the same time, are having the time of their lives as far as copulation is concerned. Because although you might’ve heard otherwise, being post-menopausal doesn’t make you “old,” nor does it have to mark the end of anything up in that bedroom of yours (easily 40 percent of people between 65 and 80 have a solid sex life). For some, it’s been just the beginning as far as taking pleasure and intimacy to a whole ‘nother level is concerned.
Don’t believe me? Read on.
*Middle names are always used by me with this type of content to respect people’s privacy*
1. Maven. Divorced. 51.
“I know people like to act like menopause is the end of the world, but that isn’t the case for me. I couldn’t wait for my periods to stop, and almost two years from going through menopause, I can say that the process was easier for me than periods were. My PMS was awful, and even though I did have some hot flashes and restless nights, menopause symptoms were still easier. Now? Being able to have sex whenever I feel like without having to pay attention to a damn calendar? That is enough to make post-menopause bliss!”
2. Analia. Married. 50.
“My hormone levels have always been off and it was draining how much my doctor and I would have to work to find balance for them again. The hormone therapy that I’ve gone through since menopause has totally changed my life because we have finally found the right ‘cocktail’ — one that I have never had before. Now, my libido is higher, I am wetter, and sex is more pleasurable. I know some look down on hormone therapy but it’s been nothing but a blessing for me.”
3. Carmen. Divorced. 49.
“Going through menopause forced me to study my body more than I ever have. Since the symptoms were unpredictable, I had to learn what I really needed to ‘feel like myself’ again. Being a student of my body helped me to learn what works for me and what doesn't — and that made me want to study my body in other ways. Menopause was a blessing in disguise because it has made me more sexually self-aware.”
4. Madison. Married. 54.
“I’ve been married for over 25 years at this point, and I think my hubby will tell you that this is the best sex that both of us have ever had. A part of it is because sex does get better with time when you’re married; your man learns intricate things, and so do you. When it comes to menopause, sex has improved because I don’t bring fear into the bedroom. The fear I had was always worrying about getting pregnant. We have six children, and I love them all, but my body didn’t do well with [hormonal] birth control, my husband wasn’t about to use condoms, so we did a lot of pulling out — A LOT.
"Six kids in, obviously, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. After child five, I was starting to get paranoid; after child six, I definitely was. Being able to have sex now without pregnancy being an issue has caused my freak flag to fly — and I’m sure I don’t have to expound on how thrilled my hubby is about not having to pull out anymore!”
5. Thomasina. Engaged. 39.
“I had a full hysterectomy, and that put me into early surgical menopause. To say that I was depressed for a while is kind of an understatement because I don’t think anyone plans to go through menopause at 34. The good thing is I already had children and didn’t want more; I just needed to adjust to no ovaries. Some people say it’s controversial, but wild yam helped me out. I wanted to treat my lack of estrogen naturally, so I also took black cohosh, DHEA, and evening primrose oil. I have an estrogen-rich diet with foods like soy, dried apricots, blackberries, and garlic, and meditation [has] helped.
"Adjusting [to] and accepting my new normal is what I had to do. When I was dating my now-fiancé, one of the first things he said was he didn’t want any more kids, and one of the first things that I shared was that kids weren’t [physically] on the table for me. That immediately took pressure off of us, and not having to figure out a birth control plan has been a load off. Stressless sex is always better sex.”
6. Doris. Dating. 49.
“I’m just a year into post-menopause and it’s magnifique! I don’t care what doctors say, I felt like my PMS was all month long, so not having to deal with a period means not feeling bloated, achy, and unattractive — none of that puts a woman in the mood for sex. Just feeling like my body isn’t [a] slave to my PMS symptoms has been a relief. I also like traveling without a period because I can go whenever I feel like it, and my travel companion doesn’t have to worry about if I’m not ‘in the mood’ or can’t have sex because my damn period is around.”
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Giphy7. Johanna. Dating. 52.
“How many times has a woman brought up the thrill of not worrying about pregnancy? For me, that has been the best part about sex after menopause. I don’t think that men get how much birth control consumes the thought process of women. It takes forever to find something that works and doesn’t come with side effects. Then you’ve got to get your insurance to cover it. Then your body goes through changes that might mean that you have to start all over with your birth control search. HEADACHE. Now that I’m past menopause, none of this is an issue. I still need to use rubbers; Mama ain’t dumb. But not worrying about conception takes a lot of pressure off.”
8. Zantha. Married. 38.
“It runs in my family that women go through menopause early, so I wasn’t blindsided or anything. If I didn’t know about it in college, going through it might’ve been difficult but I had my kids young. Hormone therapy has been annoying, but the extra estrogen has made me wetter than ever, and that has made me have more orgasms. Everything has a silver lining, including menopause.”
9. Faysa. Married. 51.
“My sex drive didn’t really change after menopause; lubrication did. I didn’t want to do estrogen therapy because I know about some of the risks that come with it. Instead, I did what I had never done before, [I] tried lubrication. At first, I was a bit embarrassed because wetness has never been an issue for me. But as my man and I started experimenting with different types of lube, including flavors and all of the ways to bring it into foreplay and sex, I found it to be something that I wished that we had used all along! He feels the same way.”
Shellie here: Yeah, lubricant can definitely be your friend. Check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.”
10. Jacqueline. Divorced. 55.
“Mine is more about how aging has changed my thoughts about menopause. The older I get, I truly don’t give a f-ck what people think — and that has made me more confident. Gray pubic hairs? Sexy. Breasts not as firm? More ways to get creative. No period? It means there is no time of the month when I’m not in the mood. Learn how to keep up. Going through the stages of menopause wasn’t fun, but now that I’m out of all of that, my sex life is better because I see myself as an experienced, daring woman who doesn’t have to revolve my spontaneity around my uterus. You won’t know freedom like that until you come to where I am.”
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It was King Solomon who once said that everything has a time and a season. And when it comes to the season of menopause, please don’t let society and culture make you think that your life is coming to an end. As you just read, even when it comes to your sex life, on some levels, it is only just beginning! #wink
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