
Your October Horoscopes Are About Becoming The Trailblazer Of Your Own Destiny

We have officially transitioned into the fall season, which encourages us to reclaim a sense of balance in our lives. The New Moon on the 6th invites us to recognize where we are giving or taking too much. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius, there's a desire for a wild, romantic adventure to shake up our routine. This month, we have three planets going direct—Pluto, Saturn, and Mercury—helping us feel a greater sense of forward momentum. The fiery Full Moon on the 20th liberates us from a need to fit in with the crowd and to, instead, become a trailblazer of our own destiny.
Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars motivate us to lock in on our goals and see through to completion. Check out how your zodiac sign is affected in the month ahead:
Aries
The month kicks off with a New Moon on the 6th inviting you into partnerships that are more in alignment with your personal evolution. On the same day, Pluto goes direct and the changes you've been making internally are more evident. You've spent a lot of time unlearning old programming and confronting your fears in regards to your career, authority, and success. Now it's your time to shine. On the 7th, Venus enters Sagittarius, making this an ideal time to plan a baecation or take a solo trip. If you're single, there's a possibility of meeting someone special during your travels.
When Saturn goes direct on the 10th, you're ready to put those lessons you've been learning about friendship and community into action. On the 18th, Mercury goes direct to help clear up any miscommunications within your closest connections. The Full Moon in your sign on the 20th is the much-needed spark that you've been craving since Leo season. It's time to reveal more of your magnificence to the world. By the end of the month the Sun and Mars team up in Scorpio inviting you to do a deep dive into your psyche and your most valuable relationships. Sexual healing, transformation, and intimacy await you during this transit.
Taurus
Your health and wellness are top priority around the New Moon on the 6th. Implementing new routines, habits, and a fitness regimen will help get you back into alignment if you've been feeling off lately. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, giving you the opportunity to walk your path with more confidence after spending the past several months redefining your spiritual beliefs and personal philosophies. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, you're invited to get clear on the kind of people that you want close(r) to you. Fickle energies just won't do for a fixed sign like you.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct to get you back on track with some of your longer term career goals and the legacy you're building for yourself. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, you're able to integrate any recent changes you've wanted to make within your work environment or daily schedule. On the 20th, the Full Moon stirs up some inner tension and frustrations--possibly more so within your dreams. Find healthy outlets for your anger to avoid getting snappy with others. The Sun shifts into Scorpio on the 23rd, then meets up with Mars on the 30th, bringing your attention to your partnerships, marriage, and contractual agreements. Hidden resentments can come to the surface but it's all about how you address them so you and the other party can get on the same page moving forward.
Gemini
The month begins with a romantic New Moon in Libra inviting you to put yourself out there--especially if you're single. It's time to ditch the sweatpants and oversized t-shirts for some real clothes. This is a particularly creative, sweet, and playful time for you, so make the most of it. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, coaxing you out of hermit mode to rejoin the rest of the world after spending the past several months in cocoon mode. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, you're attracting some interesting partnerships and collaborations meant to expand your worldview.
When Saturn goes direct on the 10th, you're ready to move forward without all of the karmic debris you've been clearing out in relation to your spiritual beliefs and practices. On the 18th, Mercury goes direct to push along any projects that have stalled due to reasons beyond your control or procrastination. The Full Moon on the 20th encourages you to showcase what makes you stand out. Ultimately, this will align you with the right crowd that can support you in fulfilling your vision. On the 23rd, the Sun shifts into Scorpio, then teams up with Mars on the 30th giving you a much-needed boost of energy to handle your daily responsibilities and still have enough fuel to squeeze in a workout, too.
Cancer
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Home and family matters have your attention around the New Moon on the 6th. Investing into property or family planning may be on the list around this time. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, helping you move forward in your most significant relationships with more ease after confronting some of your fears these past several months. Financial partnerships are also highlighted, making this an auspicious time for opportunities that will bring you more power, security, and success. When Venus enters Sagittarius, you could start feeling restless with your routine, making it a good time to switch up your approach or environment in some way. If you're looking for remote work, this could be a lucky time to find the perfect opportunity.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct which has you feeling more empowered in your ability to make the right connections and build upon your ideal community of people that can help you achieve your bigger goals. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, this is a more favorable time to sign a new lease or close on a property. Any rifts with family members, roommates, or a live-in partner can also be resolved more easily. On the 20th, the Full Moon requires you to step up to the plate and flex your boss muscle. You've got what it takes to handle any challenges in your career. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars shift into Scorpio, intensifying both your libido and creativity. Baby-making season is in the air!
Leo
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The month begins with a New Moon in Libra inviting you to negotiate your way to the bag. Networking figures strongly into your life during this time. Stay ready so you don't have to get ready. You only get one chance to make a first impression. On the same day, Pluto goes direct empowering you to implement positive habits and routines into your life. A little bit of discipline goes a long way. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th, your sex appeal is out of this world. If you're open to romance, just have fun without putting too much pressure on things (at least for the time being).
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, helping you get more clear with your boundaries in existing relationships (including your relationship with your work). Mercury goes direct on the 18th, moving forward any stalled communications. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th stirs up your wanderlust which could have you planning a great escape to some far-off land. On the 23rd, the Sun shifts into Scorpio then meets up with Mars on the 30th, bringing your focus to settling down a bit.
Virgo
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The New Moon at the beginning of the month invites you to explore new ways of making money. As multifaceted as you are, there's always another way of getting the bag. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, empowering you to express your creativity in ways like never before. This energy is extremely cathartic and supportive of you creating some of your best work to-date. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th, your home environment could have you feeling a bit restless. A need to expand beyond your comfort zone is hard to ignore which could have you considering a more nomadic lifestyle.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, making it a lot more easy for you to get back into a structured routine. A week later, your ruling planet, Mercury, goes direct, giving you the green light when it comes to new business partnerships and opportunities. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th motivates you to release your perfectionist tendencies so you can finally pursue your hidden desires. On the 23rd, the Sun enters Scorpio which could have you feeling exposed in your vulnerability. Be mindful of who you're sharing your secrets with during this time. Once Mars meets up with the Sun, there's potential that someone may just be trying to gather intel on you as a part of some bigger scheme.
Libra
The month begins with a New Moon in your sign inviting you to make a wish for what you want to accomplish in the next year around the Sun. On the same day, Pluto goes direct after being retrograde since the Spring. An inner transformation related to your upbringing and family has now been completed empowering you to stand in your truth. You only have one life to live. Make sure you're living it for yourself. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th, your natural flirtatious ways are enhanced making this an auspicious time for attracting romance into your life. Keep your expectations light during this time and just have fun getting to know people. Be open to connecting with someone from a completely different walk of life. There's so much to learn from an experience that differs from your own.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct which has you more clear about the kind of long-term commitment you want. Don't be afraid to explore unconventional ways of going about a partnership. What works for someone else may not be a good fit for you. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th helps you release your people-pleasing tendencies so you can start establishing more sovereignty in your life. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars transition into Scorpio, motivating you to initiate new financial partnerships and streams of income. Know your worth and add tax!
Scorpio
The beginning of the month invites you to reflect on situations that need some closure. Your karmic debt has been paid, so there's no need to prolong your suffering. Make peace with what hasn't worked out the way you thought it would. The Divine has something way better in store for you anyway. On the same day, Pluto goes direct after spending the past six months retrograde. Your inner dialogue has gone through a major transformation that will ultimately support you in aligning with the life of your dreams. On the 7th, Venus enters Sagittarius which has you dreaming up a way to make money while not having to be confined to one space. When it comes to romance or financial partnership, be open to connecting with someone from a different walk of life. You can learn a lot from their perspective.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, helping you get more clear about what family, home, and tribe means to you. If you've felt restricted in any of these areas in the past several month, the energies ease up moving forward. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, you're clear on what (and who) needs to be left behind. You've gone as far as you can within this situation and now it's time to venture into new territory. The Full Moon in Aries on the 18th breaks you out of a lethargic funk to reinvigorate your sense of passion and purpose in your daily affairs. On the 23rd, the Sun enters Scorpio and meets up with Mars on the 30th, enhancing your drive, motivation, and will power. This an opportune time to tackle your to-do list and make some major moves.
Sagittarius
The month begins with a New Moon in Libra on the 6th inviting you to expand your social network and reconnect with friends you haven't seen in a while. On the same day, Pluto goes direct which has you feeling more in control of your finances moving forward. Investments and wealth building are your top priorities in the months to come. When Venus shifts into your sign on the 7th, your luck factor increases even more as you find yourself on the receiving end of a lot of attention, opportunities, and blessings.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, setting you up with the right mindset that you need to achieve your goals. Don't throw in the towel just because your growth isn't happening quick enough. On the 18th, Mercury goes direct, supporting the forward movement of your long-term endeavors and ironing out any communication kinks you've had with a team member that may be helping you in the process. The Full Moon in Aries encourages you to indulge in some pleasure and romance. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars in Scorpio are kicking up some suppressed frustrations (and possibly revealing some hidden enemies). Make sure you're viewing someone's actions objectively, minus all of your idealizations.
Capricorn
Matters of career take precedence at the beginning of the month with the New Moon in Libra and so the next phase of your journey begins. Be mindful of power struggles with anyone in a position of authority. If you don't like being bossed around, then create an exit strategy to become your own boss. On the same day, Pluto goes direct in your sign, empowering you to recognize just how effective you are at making shit happen. Unlike some, you don't have a problem rolling up your sleeves and getting into the nitty gritty for the sake of the legacy you're building. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, your love life blossoms behind the scenes, making this a good time to enjoy some privacy at home with that special person in your life.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, moving money matters forward. Where you once felt restricted, the energy starts to open up again in the months to come. Mercury goes direct on the 18th, making it a good time to finalize any negotiations and contracts that have been hanging up in the air. On the 20th, the Full Moon in Aries brings an issue to the head amongst the home or family. The pressure to make a quick change to your environment may be looming over you at this time. When the Sun and Mars shift into Scorpio by the end of the month, your friends may be the source of stability that you need. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You've got more people on your side than against you.
Aquarius
The New Moon in Libra on the 6th has you ready to spread your wings to take off on a new adventure, whether that involves you traveling to a place on your bucket list, enrolling in a spiritual workshop, or applying to go back to school. On the same day, Pluto goes direct and you can finally come up for air after doing some pretty intense soul-searching these past six months. Now it's time for you to apply these lessons you've been resolving into your daily life. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th you're feeling the love amongst your friend group and may even want to celebrate your bonds with a long-awaited girls' trip.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct encouraging you to embrace a little more structure and discipline. You're full of brilliant, progressive ideas. It's just time for you to really commit to them and follow through on your goals. When Mercury goes direct on the 10th, you could find yourself in the position of teacher or mentor to those that look to you for your expertise. Writing and public speaking figure strongly into this energy, making it a good time to get your message out there. The Full Moon on the 20th grants you the courage to say what you mean without fear of backlash. Some people are intent on misunderstanding you which is their problem—not yours. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars enter Scorpio, giving you a much-needed boost to conquer your career goals.
Pisces
The beginning of the month starts on a more quiet note for you with the New Moon in Libra. A silent partnership may be in the works for you around this time, which can grant you the leg up that you need to move your financial and business endeavors forward. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, helping you take a different approach to your friendships and social networks. After re-evaluating this area of your life these past six months, you're now more clear about who you want to join forces with. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, you're feeling the heat—whether it be from the pressure to step up to the plate in your career or a romantic attraction that is brewing between you and someone with a whole lot of influence.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, continuing this process of cleaning out the metaphorical trash in your subconscious. Limiting and restricting beliefs have to go for you to fully embrace your magic. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, you're given the green light to sign off on any financial contracts. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th liberates you from playing small. It's time to recognize your worth, raise your prices, and add tax. On the 23rd, the Sun shifts into Scorpio and is followed behind by Mars on the 30th inviting you to step into your power and role as a leader. You have no idea how many people you're inspiring on a daily basis but soon enough it will be made evident.
For more about zodiac signs, horoscopes, and astrology, check out xoNecole's Horoscopes section here.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Once upon a time, I knew a married couple who told me that they wouldn’t even discuss with each other who they found to be attractive on television because, in their minds, that was a form of cheating. They’re divorced now, and although there are a series of reasons why, it was always strange to me that things were so restrictive within their relationship that they couldn’t even share a fleeting thought about how someone looked.
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
Whenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
As I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
It’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
During the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
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