Is The Grind For The Corner Office Putting Us In the Casket?
Mikki Taylor, ESSENCE Editor and author of the newly acclaimed Editor and Chic, changed my life with one quote, "Queens do not belong on well-being welfare."
I think I was on the third trip to my primary care doctor and had about four brush strokes filled with clumps of hair before I realized that paying attention to myself was no longer an option but a necessity.
Stress kept me rolling around in the bed for hours before the alarm clock, exhausted before I began the day, running for shots of espresso at 3 pm, and dragging myself to bed with aching muscles and punching bags under my eyes.
Related: Spiked Spin Founder Brianna Owens On How She Balances 18-Hour Workdays & Cycling
I wore the fact that I Paid Time Off that carried over because I refused to take a day off. It proved a lack of commitment and I found myself doing so in hopes that this entity would value my loyalty. The same entity that would steamroll over bodies and simply "replace" countless employees who left on a medical leave from nothing other than pure exhaustion.
World Health Organization (WHO) and National Institute of Mental Health quotes from a 2017 survey says anxiety disorders affect 18.1 percent of adults in the United States (approximately 40 million adults between the ages of 18 to 54). And a lot more go unreported every year.
In Black Girl Magic History of Push Through, we often ignore the very real and tangible signs that our body gives us to slow down:
- Upset stomach,
- Waking up fatigued,
- Tension in the muscles,
- Frequent headaches, and
- Chest pain.
Nonetheless, it's unrealistic to say that our lives can be lived without stress but how we choose to cope with stress can ultimately either shorten or prolong our lives. It is that serious. We have been taught as black and brown people to trudge through enormous amounts of pain in order to reach a far reaching goal.
However, there are things you can do to make time for you and organize the chaos causing you stress:
- Prepare the Day Before: Before leaving the office, I cue up any work I have to complete the next day and set reminders for the next morning.
- Create a Daily Master Plan: Creating a time management schedule will allow you to schedule productivity in an effective and regimented way. Having a morning ritual that begins way before you enter the workplace including a relaxing shower, water with lemon, and a morning coffee is important. I also take a few moments to look at my calendar to mentally prepare for what is going to happen that day.
- Utilize Your PTO: I have a 2-days a month rule or one week every season vacation rule.
- After Work "Me" Time: I can't wait to clock out today because Travis - my massage therapist and I - have a date at 6 pm. On days where he is not working the stress out of my body, I take a warm bath or run on the treadmill. Whatever it takes for you to have a few minutes to yourself to process the day and unwind, do it!
- Invest In You: So, I hated my job and complained about it every day but made absolutely no moves to change it. It wasn't until I took advantage of the tuition reimbursement benefit and the seminar/conference advance pay that I realized it is important to use your current circumstances to fund your aspirations. Also, take advantage of any pre-tax benefits your organization may afford including retirement, commuter benefits, health spending, or flexible spending accounts. Budget for the things that make you happy and not just the bills. I LOVE eating at a new restaurant at least once a week and travel. Knowing this, I plan to take one big trip a year and budget for the luxury of dining at somewhere posh once a month.
Stress will come but if we can identify what triggers it, we can proactively hinder it from inflicting permanent damage on us. Remember, you are the boss of your own life.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole related reads:
To Live A Purpose-Filled Life, You Have To Leave Your Comfort Zone
10 Ways To Develop An Entrepreneurial Mindset
Why I Started Rocking Box Braids In The Boardroom
6 Side Hustles You Can Employ While You're Unemployed
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Health Effects of Work-Related Stress | Examinetics ›
- Work Related Stress - 6 Common Causes ›
- After‐effects of job‐related stress: Families as victims - Jackson ... ›
- Stress at work - Work-related stress and how to tackle it - HSE ›
- Job-Related Stress Can Have Fatal Consequences - The Atlantic ›
- Coping With Stress at Work ›
- Work-Related Stress A Guide for Employers ›
- Job Killing You? 8 Types of Work-Related Stress - Health ›
- Work-related stress - Better Health Channel ›
Danielle Kimberly is a Jersey girl and a health & wholeness educator. Read her humorous & habit forming stories for women of faith on www.luxevoyage.org. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @dannikimberly.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images