Here's What's Keeping You From Leveling Up In 2019
Ciara was definitely onto something when she chanted "Level Up" in the chorus of her 2018 chart-topper. When you think about it, why not? Why not raise your level of success? You often hear the saying, only you can stop you. So I ask you, are you getting in your own way?
If we're being honest, there are many cases when we stand in our own way of success. For example, no one but you chooses to let a high-paying job with benefits pass you over. No one but you skipped that workout session, and there is nothing to stop you from asking for that raise. You get the point.
As women, we are taught to be master jugglers and twice as good at everything, but how can we be resilient when we put everyone else's needs before our own and second-guess ourselves? Exactly, it's almost impossible, which leads to us feeling unhappy, tired and "stuck."
Ladies, it's time to stop the self-sabotage and start the self-love. To assist in your come up, we enlisted the help of an inspirational speaker, Morgan Owens, who has given us five enlightening tips to get out of our own way and level up for the new year.
Give Yourself Permission To Be Great
If you have ever looked at a job description and thought, "This is the job for me," but feel a bit intimidated by the tasks required, then you are not letting yourself be great. According to Morgan, "If your peers are comfortable enough to go after that position, then so should you."
We must allow ourselves to feel worthy of greatness and do our very best to achieve it and also believe it.
Perception Can Sometimes Be Deception
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If you don't believe in yourself, you can't expect anyone else to do it for you. Stop looking at yourself with the eyes of other people.
"When we are honest with ourselves and determine the common denominator of what's stopping us from living out our best life, we can get out of our own way," Morgan explains. "If we don't like our weight, make a plan to get healthy. Never do it because someone else thinks you need to lose weight, do it because you know that you need to."
The more we see ourselves in a better light, the more we get over our view.
You Refuse To Say "No"
Sis, sometimes you just have to say "no."
"When you learn to start saying no, then you will lighten the load on your shoulders and you become less stressed," Morgan shared.
If a person cannot accept your reasonable no, it is not your problem – it's theirs. Remember to be fair in your delivery but also be sure that you are protecting your space and comfort because you can't build a career or business from an empty tank, you just can't.
You're Not Investing In Your Personal Development
Billion-dollar corporations send their employees to workshops and conferences to further their personal development for the company, why shouldn't you?
"Instead of investing money on materials things (I love a good handbag, honey), invest in a course to further your career or a workshop to help build your business," says Morgan.
Your investment will pay off in more ways than one.
Remember To Use Adversity to Fuel Determination
When someone tells you that you shouldn't start a business or that you should never start a new career, use that as fuel to prove yourself right.
"Often times the people saying these things lack confidence in themselves to go for their dreams, don't let their shortcomings influence your decisions," Morgan says.
Make sure that you are living for you and not for others.
With these tips, you are sure to be stepping out of your unsure ways and walking a brand new path to success.
To learn more about Morgan, visit her at www.morganaowens.com/ or follow her on Instagram @miss_morgan86.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images