For a while now, I have been praying to God to remove me from a stagnant situation in my life. It seemed as though my prayers were unanswered because He kept me there for longer than I anticipated. And trust me, I did everything imaginable to break free and nothing happened. So, I decided to make the best of it and simply bloom where I was planted. After I finally began to enjoy that experience, it was taken from me. I was confused, heartbroken, and devastated. It took time to realize what God was doing but I continued to pray and trust in him. And now I know, I am walking into a new season.
Level up season has arrived and if there is something that you have been working toward or waiting on, I am here to let you know that you are not reading this post by accident.
Just to be sure that this message has been delivered to the right person, I have created a list of the eight signs to alert you that you are leveling up.
1. You are starting to act on the plans that you made.
Do you remember those goals that you wrote down? Whatever stopped you from accomplishing those goals before cannot stop you any longer. Now, you are ready to do whatever it takes to make them come to fruition. You realize that everything you need to make it happen is right in front of you.
2. Your situation is shifting from the familiar to the unknown.
You are now taking action to make your dreams a reality. The territory is uncharted and unfamiliar; but, you are willing to pave your own road. You are excited about the uncertainty and see it as an opportunity to do what you once thought was impossible.
3. Your relationships are changing and you begin to lose meaningless ones.
New people are coming into your life who believe in you and your vision. They want to see you do well and want to support your cause. Old relationships are ending so that new relationships can arrive. You have learned from the past and have created boundaries to ensure that partnerships are mutual and fulfilling.
4. You start envisioning your new life.
You can finally see the end of the tunnel. At one time, you had no idea of how you were going to make things work. Now, you know what it is going to take to reach your goals and you are willing to put in the work to make it happen. You know what the end result will be and you are excited to imagine it come to life.
5. You are no longer afraid of anything.
They say, fear is: false evidence appearing real. Your fear is gone and you have nothing to lose. You are ready to put yourself out there and do whatever it takes to get it done. They also say, insanity is: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. You are ready to do something different to get something different.
6. You are more courageous than ever before and open to trying new things.
You have a renewed sense of energy and are courageous enough to try new things. With your new relationships, you are going to new places and learning new things. Since your fear is gone, you do not mind making and learning from mistakes. You know that it is insane to continue doing things the way you used to. So, it is easy for you to change.
7. You own who you are and what you can accomplish.
Everything you have learned from the past has prepared you for this moment. You know what you bring to the table; so, you are ready for a seat or you are prepared to buy your own table. You own exactly who you are and what you can do.
8. Your failures were put on display for others to see.
Your story will inspire others to level up. The world will watch your setbacks propel your comeback. Everyone will witness how everything you've gone through has strengthened you for this moment. You will finally understand why it all happened this way and you will share what you learned with others.
This article was originally posted on CarjieScott.com.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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