Your August 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Release & Ushering Love Into The Forefront

August is impactful. This is a month where it’s all or nothing, and a lot is changing and coming to fruition right now. Focus on the energy you are giving out and the energy you are receiving, and work with the divine alchemy in your life to manifest. Powerful things can happen to you this month, and this is the time to set your intentions for them. The month begins in Leo Season and with Venus making its retrograde transit through this bright fire sign. Under this influence, love is a big factor in the changes that are occurring right now, and new energy is being created here. August, overall, is an important time of the year when a new page is being turned.
August 2023 Horoscopes
On the first day of the month, there is a Supermoon in Aquarius. This is the Sturgeon Moon of 2023, and this time is all about connection. Emotionally rejuvenate, let go of separation, and allow yourself to connect deeper to others and the world on another level. Focus on what brings YOU closer to others and your dreams rather than apart from them. On August 16th, there is a New Moon in Leo, and this New Moon is bringing in some happiness, some creativity, and a whole lot of love. This New Moon is all about having confidence in yourself and showing up. Don’t count yourself out right now, and be a little more courageous with your dreams and with how you can express yourself.
Virgo Season begins on August 23rd, and in true Virgo fashion, we are forced with some hard truths on the same day, as Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo as well. Virgo Season altogether is an opportunity to straighten things out, organize the details, and connect to your higher self. Virgo doesn’t put up with what doesn’t feel right, and Virgo Season is often a time when people are cleaning house. With Mercury retrograde in this earth sign in the midst of it all until September 15th, there could be a sense of feeling more pressure to have it all together.
Remember, it’s about progress and not perfection right now, and sometimes just the clarity needs to be enough until you can do more.
On August 27th, Mars enters Libra, and new connections are being built. With the Sun in Virgo and Mars in Libra, two very selfless signs, there is a lot of love and support flowing through the world. Mars in Libra is a reminder to have balance in life and love and to prioritize what and who is important to you. Uranus goes retrograde in Taurus this month from the 28th until January 27, 2024, and Uranus retrograde brings the shock factor. This rebel planet makes changes in the spur of the moment, and in Taurus, a lot of these surprises come to be financial. Uranus in Taurus isn’t afraid to take risks, but Uranus retrograde in Taurus is a reminder to be careful with financial impulses and to make sure you will still have stability through any unexpected changes that may arise.
What’s interesting about August 2023 is that two Full Moons are happening this month. The second one is a Full Moon in Pisces, on August 30th. This Full Moon is the Blue Moon of 2023 and is another Supermoon. With all of this powerful energy moving through the cosmos this month, at the end of August, some major closures are presenting themselves, ones that provide more space emotionally to receive greater blessings. The Blue Moon is about trusting the guidance of your soul.
As the month comes to an end, August is a great month to look back on when it comes to when things started making sense and when things changed for the better.
August 2023 Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about getting out of your comfort zone, Aries. You have been through a time of rejuvenation and contemplation and may have even been secluding yourself from others altogether. In August, you are ready to spread your wings and fly. With a Full Moon happening in your friendship sector on August 1st, right as the month begins, it’s time to close that chapter of your life of feeling like you had to do it all on your own and open up to the community and support around you.
There is a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Leo, on the 16th, and this New Moon will be highlighting the happy areas of your life. Write a list of gratitude and set your intentions for passion projects you want to see through over the next month, and also what new beginnings you are looking for in love right now. Before the month ends, Mars enters your 7th house of partnership, and you are motivated to connect. The main theme for you this month is working together with others.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are free, Taurus. August is reminding you of this truth. This month is about releasing yourself from the restrictions you have been feeling in your life and healing the mind. Overthinking has been making things stagnant in your life, and you are ready to break free from this energy this month. The Full Moon at the beginning of the month on the 1st will help your confidence renew and will be reminding you of the accomplishments you have already made.
On August 23rd, Mercury goes retrograde in fellow earth sign Virgo and will be retrograde in your 5th house of romance, hobbies, passion, creativity, and happiness. Over the next few weeks, you are on a journey of finding your happiness in a new way and connecting to the heart space. The old ways of relating and connecting to your passions may not be resonating right now, and this is your opportunity to redefine what lights you up and then move more toward that energy.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is about moving on, Gemini. You have been through a lot emotionally, and you are ready to let this heaviness go. The month begins with a Full Moon in your 9th house of adventure, and right as you enter the month, you have your eyes set on the horizon. You are feeling inspired, but it’s okay to take things at the pace you are comfortable with right now, as it’s been a difficult start. Remind yourself this month, deep breaths in, deep breaths out.
Mid-month, there is a New Moon in Leo that will be moving through your 3rd house of communication. Expect some important conversations to be had this month and the revelations to be plentiful. Mid-August is a good time to set your intentions for how you want to move through the world, express yourself, and who you want to connect with. Before August comes to a close, your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde, and over the next few weeks, you will be going over some things when it comes to your home life, family, and foundations.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of making things happen for yourself, Cancer. You have your eyes set on the path ahead, and you have a lot of energy with you in August. With the Sun in your 2nd house of income, investments, and value systems right now, you are making important plans and are working on your long-term goals. This is the month to be fearless, powerful, and be you, Cancer.
On August 16th, a New Moon is happening in the same area the Sun and Venus retrograde currently are in your chart. You are using your time and energy wisely as you have been realizing, now more than ever, how valuable they are. Focus on new beginnings financially, set your intentions for abundance, and pay attention to what your intuition is telling you. Mercury goes retrograde in your 3rd house of communication a week later, and you could be feeling more misunderstood over the next few weeks. This is happening for you to gain more clarity on who you are and to have the confidence to express that more freely.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a powerful month for you, Leo. You are walking into the month with Leo Season in full swing and so much to learn. The culminations and insights you have been looking for are coming through for you, but they may not be as glamorous as expected. Take your time with what is being revealed to you, as it will all make sense the further you go into the month. On August 1st, the Full Moon in your 7th house of love will be inspiring you to build deeper connections and to cross that bridge.
The New Moon happening this month will be in your sign on the 16th. This New Moon is all about you, and the Moon is shining its healing power on your lioness self. This New Moon, you are seeing things differently, including yourself, and are focused on bringing more love into your life. On August 23rd, Leo Season comes to a close, and Mercury goes retrograde. This Mercury retrograde for you is a time to plan wisely, handle your finances, and go over the details thoroughly. Mercury will be retrograde in a financial zone of your chart, and these matters should be examined during this time.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou can do this, Virgo. August is about creating breakthroughs in your life, and you are doing so. You are overcoming the roadblocks that have been placed in front of you and are claiming your blessings right now. Mars is in your sign for most of this month, and you are passionate about your personal progress. A lot is happening for you in August, as this is when Virgo Season begins, and you are stepping up to the plate and telling the universe that you are ready.
On August 16th, there is a New Moon in your 12th house of closure, and this is when you are really starting to see the past behind you and the new even closer than before. You have healed, you have learned, and you are ready to be free. On August 23rd, Virgo Season begins, and it’s your time to shine. This Virgo Season will be a little different, though, as Mercury will go retrograde in Virgo on the same day. Mercury retrograde for you will be about getting to know yourself better, and self-love is the priority right now.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecolePerspective is everything in August, Libra. There is a lot of emotional energy you are moving through this month, and as a more mental sign, this can feel like a lot for you. If you can focus more on the gifts in your world rather than what feels like it’s falling apart, you can rebuild more than what you feel has been lost. The Full Moon happening on August 1st will be in a fellow air sign, and you will be given an opportunity to flow with more synergy, let go of past hurts, and honor your happiness.
On August 16th, there is a New Moon in your house of friendships, and you are feeling more connected, loved, and in tune with your people mid-month. You are turning the page on disappointment and are ready to capture more of the joy others are bringing into your life right now. Before the month ends, Mars enters your sign on the 27th, and with Mars in your sign, you will have the passion, vigor, and energy to see things through that you once felt were weighing you down. A shift of power is happening for you this month, and it’s allowing you more freedom to be, to love, and to be happy most of all.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is an enlightening month for you, Scorpio. You are reaching new heights, inspiring others, and your spirit is moving through a renewal. There are a lot of exciting moments happening for you this month, and one good thing is leading into another. The Full Moon happening on August 1st will allow you to close a chapter when it comes to finding your ground, growing new roots, and emotionally regulating. You are walking into the month with less emotional baggage and more creative freedom.
Mercury goes retrograde this month on the 23rd and will be retrograde in an area of your chart having to do with your aspirations, dreams, friendships, and community. You could be feeling like your dreams are being put on the back burner for the time being or like you have to rethink some of them. Once Mercury goes direct, you will have a better idea of what you want and how to get there. Uranus goes retrograde this month as well and in your partnership sector, so it’s best to flow with change when it comes to others rather than fight it. You are discovering new truths in August.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are feeling things through this month, Sagittarius. August is an emotional time for you, and one where you are feeling more nostalgic than usual but also feeling more excited than what’s been as well. You are someone who typically focuses on either the future or the present, but right now, you are honoring the past you have been through to be here. On the first day of this month, there is a Full Moon, and this Full Moon will give you that clarity and divine insight you have been looking for.
The New Moon on the 16th is happening in fellow fire sign Leo, and this is the time of the month when you are feeling more adventurous and spontaneous. This is a good time to travel or set your intentions for travel plans as you discover some new inspirations right now. The second Full Moon of the month is on August 30th, and this Full Moon will allow you to find stability within what you were communicating at the beginning of the month and the declarations you have been making altogether.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe world is yours, Capricorn. New opportunities are coming into your life, and you are feeling more inspired than ever. This is an exciting time for you and one when you are unfolding the magic in your life. As you move into the month, ask yourself, “How good could it really get for me right now?” The New Moon happening on the 16th is a door opening into the divine, spiritual, and emotionally transforming experiences that can lead you to your manifestations.
On August 23rd, Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo and does so in your 9th house of travel, adventure, education, and the higher mind. Take this time to develop your mind, learn something new, connect with different types of people, and think about the big picture. If you plan on traveling over the next few weeks, look things over thoroughly, and most importantly, have patience. There is a Full Moon happening on the 30th before the month ends, and this will bring things into perspective before moving forward again.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe seeds you have been planting are showing fruition, Aquarius. You have had to have a lot of patience with what you are bringing to life right now, and this month is a reminder that it was all worth it. The month starts with a Full Moon in your sign, and you are emotionally feeling like a different person than you were a year ago. You are wrapping up a major cycle in your life this month and are preparing for a rebirth. August is giving you many gifts, clarity on thy self, the most important one.
On August 16th, there is a New Moon in your sister sign, Leo, and this New Moon is opening up new doors for you in love. Set your intentions for your relationships during this New Moon, and make love the focus right now. Mars moves into Libra before the month ends and enters your house of adventure. This month has been a lot about patience and perseverance, and when Mars makes this transit on the 28th, you feel creative, inspired, and courageous.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a game of balance, Pisces. There are things you are letting go of, and new beginnings you are walking into as well. There is so much to see, so many places to be, and love to be felt, and you are doing it all this month. On August 1st, the Full Moon will be allowing you to let go of what’s been keeping you away from you, and you are honoring what you have learned in the process. You are walking into this month ready for whatever comes your way.
Mercury goes retrograde in your opposite sign, Virgo, on the 23rd, and this retrograde will be about love. You are learning more about yourself through your relationships with others and may be going through some growth spurts in love. Open communication will heal, and the bonds that are meant for you will only strengthen at the end of this transit. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon in your sign, and you are walking away from what no longer serves you. You have learned a lot about yourself, and nothing is stopping you from being the person you want to be.
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Your October 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Magnetic Love & Divine Timing
October is about the power of attraction. This is the month to set your intentions, create space for a new beginning, and find your balance between the past, present, and future. There aren’t many astrological transits this month, signaling more possibilities in the air and an opportunity to create that which you desire.
We begin the month in Libra Season, and Libra Season is always the time of year when love is the highlight. With Juno also entering Sagittarius on October 1, right as we begin the month, it’s about committing yourself to a new adventure, to the gifts of love, and to perspectives that heal and bring you closer to another.
October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Earlier this year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “10 Women Share What Gets Them In (And Out) Of The Mood The Fastest.” If you check it out, you’ll see some of the specific things that cause certain women to want to get it on vs. some very clear things that make them want to low-key hard pass on engaging in sexual activities.
Today, though, we’re going to get into why you might not be super interested in sex even though you just can’t seem to put your finger on the cause.
This is important to consider because, sometimes, it has to do with things that are transpiring outside of the bedroom — things that you would never even consider before reading this. That way, you can alter certain lifestyle habits and get your libido back to where it used to be (or you want it to be).
So, here we go — 10 things that could cause your sex drive to struggle a bit.
1. Too Much Sugar Consumption
GiphyI doubt that it will come as a surprise to you that, reportedly, 75 percent of people eat more sugar than they should on a pretty consistent basis. And when there is too much sugar in your system, this can lead to everything from high blood pressure and heart disease to diabetes and sleep issues.
Know what else a lot of sugar can do? Tank your libido. Sugar can make you more stress-filled. Sugar can lower testosterone levels (especially in men). Sugar can zap your energy levels. In women, sugar has a way of throwing sex hormones out of whack and it can even lead to vaginal dryness.
So, if deep down, you know that you’ve got a bit of a sugar addiction going on and you haven’t been up to having sex lately…it might be time to consider connecting those dots, sis.
2. Not Enough Vitamin D
GiphyThere’s no telling how many times I’ve said that we as Black people tend to have less vitamin D in our systems than we should. That’s mostly because our melanin makes it more challenging to absorb natural vitamin D from the sun. That’s why it’s important to spend time outside when you can, to take a vitamin D supplement and/or to consume foods that are rich in vitamin D like salmon, yogurt and mushrooms.
One way that your world will benefit if you do is your sex life will be better. Why do I say that? Well, believe it or not, when your vitamin D levels are low, that can weaken your estrogen levels — and estrogen plays a significant role in you having a healthy libido. Something else that vitamin D does is help your body to produce more dopamine and serotonin; these are neurotransmitters that help you to feel good, including while you are having sex.
I’m telling you — the more that we get into this article, the more you might realize that not being in the mood isn’t simply “in your head.” There could be some real health-related issues going on — ones that can pretty easily be corrected. Straight up.
3. Lots of Social Media Consumption
GiphyClose to two years ago, Psychology Today published an article entitled, “Do Sex Problems Rise With Increasing Social Media Use?” The paragraph that stood out to me this most was this one:
“The women who reported the most social media use were at increased risk of arousal problems, poor vaginal self-lubrication, orgasm difficulties, sexual pain, sexual dissatisfaction, and general sexual distress. The men who said they were addicted to social media faced a greater risk of low desire, erectile dysfunction, difficulties with orgasm, and overall sexual dissatisfaction.”
I mean, when you stop to think about the fact that social media has a way of triggering anxiety, impacting your self-esteem (and not always or necessarily for the better), pressuring you to compare your life to other people, putting your moods on an emotional roller coaster ride — not to mention all of this misinformation that it gives, even about sex…although most people spend a whopping 2.5 hours a day on social media, the advised amount is actually no more than 30 minutes every 24-hour cycle.
Listen, that might be hard to conceptualize doing but — do you want better sex or to be obsessed with scrolling through content that will be there tomorrow? Good lord. I hope you are going to choose the former.
4. Poor Communication in Your Relationship
GiphyYou don’t listen to each other. You’re hypercritical of one another. Your body language with each other conveys flippancy and dismissiveness. You hold grudges for days at a time. You’re both defensive and/or deflecting. You’re masters at giving each other the silent treatment. The two of you make lots of assumptions that oftentimes lead to baseless accusations.
These are just some examples of what it means to have poor communication in your relationship — and when you’re not mentally and emotionally connecting with your partner, that definitely can lead to less-than-satisfying intimacy. So, if any of this is currently transpiring in your relationship, the sooner you and your bae address your issues head on, the better things in your bedroom will be. I can just about guarantee it.
5. Certain Medications
GiphySome sources report that 50 percent of men and 40 percent of women say that they have some sort of challenges when it comes to their sex life. One of the things that causes those issues is the medications that some of them are on. Certain antidepressants can spike your serotonin to the point where it is hard to be in the mood for sex. Some blood pressure meds make it challenging for men to maintain an erection and women to have an orgasm. There are histamine blockers that can get people (especially men) out of the mood and mental health-related drugs that can make it hard to feel fully satisfied during sex. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that if you are on any of these types of meds and you do sense that they could be why you just ain’t feelin’ it, your doctor should be able to switch your meds or lower your dosage. That way, you can receive their benefits without them costing you sexual pleasure in the process.
6. Too Little AND Too Much Exercise
GiphyLife is all about balance — and something that truly emphasizes this point is exercise. Although a sedentary lifestyle is bad for your libido because it imbalances your sex hormones and keeps you from having the energy that you need to even engage in sexual activity, at the same time, too much exercise has a way of causing things that don’t exactly cultivate an environment for fulfilling sex: muscle soreness, sleep issues, irritability, elevated stress and less endurance (hmm…).
So, how much exercise should you get to keep this from happening? 150 minutes per week should just about get the job done.
7. Drinking Lots of Alcohol
GiphyWe’ve all heard it (somewhere) before that if you want to have a really (eh hem) good night, take a shot or two of tequila first. And although alcohol does have a way of lowering inhibitions (at least initially), in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the great sex elixir that you might think. Actually, research says that alcohol has a way of decreasing blood flow to the genital region, causing vaginal dryness and making it harder to orgasm once it really settles into your system.
Your better bet? Edibles or weed. I mean, if that is your thing anyway. Check out “Want More Frequent And Intensified Orgasms? Puff, Puff, Pass.” to gain a better understanding of why I say so.
8. Inconsistent Sleep Patterns
GiphyWhen you get a chance, check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand” and “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.;” both of them will encourage you to take sleep hella seriously if you want to have a consistent and fulfilling sex life. Sleep is essential because it helps to restore your system throughout the night, so that you are mentally interested in sex and physically capable to have the energy to engage in it.
9. Faking Orgasms
GiphyLife is too short to be fake — and I mean that in every way possible. And when it comes to sex, specifically, orgasms are too magnificent to be out here missing out, all because you are acting like you had one when you absolutely didn’t. And (pun intended) honestly, if that is what you are doing, I get why you wouldn’t be up for some action that often because who wants to be pretending like they are totally fulfilled sexually when that isn’t even close to being the case?
I am never going to be Team Fake Orgasm — ever. That said, if this is what has you ho-humming at sex, please check out reads like “15 Women Share Their Personal Hacks For Better Orgasms (And Sex Overall),” “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.” and “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day.”
10. Stress
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that although sex is proven to lower stress levels, if you are completely stressed out, you might not be in the mood to have it in the first place. There are a few reasons why. Stress can raise your cortisol (stress hormone) levels which can, in turn, lower your sex drive. Stress can trigger you to rely on certain coping mechanisms like too much alcohol and/or caffeine consumption, staying up late at night (and not getting any sleep), not putting down your phone (or turning off your television) — and all of this can make you tired which can ultimately decrease your libido.
Stress can also have you so mentally and emotionally taxed that it’s hard to even get into the mindset to engage in sexual activities.
I’m telling you — a quote that I am gelling with more and more these days is a popular Bruce Lee one: “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
It reminds me to do what I can and not stress out about what I can’t. Besides, why let something get you so bothered that you can’t have sex because of it?
What in the world, chile? Absolutely not. LOL.
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