Six Simple Sex Positions To Help You Connect To Your Wild Side
If you're struggling with connecting to your wild side in the bedroom, you are not the only one, sis. A lot of women lack confidence in the bedroom for different reasons. And I'm here to say, it's not your fault. For most of us, this goes back to what we were taught about sex by our mothers, in school, and by society. We are taught what not to do and what not to be. No one ever gave women a how-to about enjoying sex, like sex wasn't meant to be something that women enjoy. We still live in a society where sex is only OK with talking about when it comes to procreation. But when it comes to pleasure and leisure - not so much. Sex is a natural human behavior, but to talk about enjoying sex or exploring your sexuality has always been considered taboo.
However, I have to say we are getting better about openly talking about sex. This is because women are tapping into their feminine side now more than ever. We want to explore our bodies and do all the things that give us pleasure. And this includes exploring who we are in the bedroom. But most times we don't know where to start or what to do. Other times, our partners can be more sexually advanced causing us to feel less confident in our own sex skills. Listen, sex is a whole experience. You don't know what you're willing to do or not do until you try it.
Here are six simple sex positions that take things back to basics while helping you tap into your wild side in the bedroom.
1.Missionary
The missionary position is a classic and a favorite for some women. If you love to be dominated by your partner and deepen emotional connection, this position is for you. What's great about this position is that you can let go of your insecurities by allowing your partner complete control of your body. And I have to say it's the eye contact for me. There is nothing sexier than making direct eye contact with your partner during sex. It allows you to connect with your partner. Caught up in this moment, you will build up the courage to want to try other positions with your partner or even take control.
2.Get On Your Knees
Nothing will make you feel sexier and more confident than giving your partner oral sex. Men love head and women love head too. With this position, you are in full control. You are the creative director of how you get to please your partner. You control the pace, and rhythm of all things you can do with your mouth and tongue. Don't shy away sis, show your partner what that mouth do.
3.Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl
Believe it or not, some women are not one hundred percent comfortable riding dick. It can be uncomfortable at first, but "girl on top" is where it's at. This position will help build your confidence by giving your partner a full-frontal view of your body. Remember, men are visual beings. With this position, you have their full attention. You are in control of the rhythm, depth, and speed.
But if you rather not make eye contact with your partner, flip it, and put that thang in reverse with reverse cowgirl. This way, your insecurities don't flood your mind. And you can do your thing while he admires you from behind. Still not convinced? Get your partner a blindfold - taking away one sense will heighten the others.
4.From the Back
"Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck." Was it 2 Live Crew or Meek Mill that is known for this lyric? Anyways, what's good about the doggy-style position is that it's comfortable for both partners. It allows you to submit to your partner as they control the rhythm and power of each thrust with easy access to the box. If you're feeling self-conscious about your body, it hides the front of your body. You can relax and enjoy your partner stroking you from behind or participate with your hands or sex toys. And according to Bustle, doggy-style is America's favorite sex position for both men and women.
5.Spooning
This position helps you feel more comfortable with your partner. How? Because you and your partner are pressed against each other. It's intimate, comforting, and allows for connection. With spooning, both partners can control the motion. This works especially well if you are not sure what speed or pressure is preferred by your partner. It's also a great position for women who don't orgasm easily.
6.Face-to-Face
GiphyAgain, staring into your partner's eyes with close physical contact allows you to establish a deep, intimate connection. Here, anything goes. Masturbation or penetration. If you like watching your partner enjoy you, this is the position for you.
We all have insecurities when it comes to sex. But our insecurities shouldn't stop us from tapping into our sexual selves. Women are highly sensual beings. It's in our nature. And it's time we embrace that.
So, go ahead sis. Show off your wild side in the bedroom with one of the sex positions above.
For more love and relationships, features, dating tips and tricks, and marriage advice, check out xoNecole's Sex & Love section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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My name is Yasmine Jameelah, and I’m a founder, journalist, freelance writer, and dog mama. Wellness is at the intersection of everything that I do.
Six years ago, I started a small wellness community on Instagram after embarking on a healing journey in my mid-twenties that I documented via a blog where I wrote about healing, therapy, celibacy, and growth after what felt like years of chaos. Six years later, that wellness community has blossomed into one of the largest online wellness platforms for Black women called Transparent Black Girl which has a reach of over five million Black women.
It still sounds crazy to say that aloud, to know that a 24-year-old girl planted the seeds of the life that this 30-year-old woman gets to live now.
While I was growing my company, because my love for writing was so strong, I went back to school and obtained my master's in journalism. I’ve worked as a freelance writer, an editor, and a frequent contributor to publications that I respect greatly, xoNecole being one of them! My journalism career has been a reflection of my passion and heart for wellness and the culture. My day-to-day is busy, but we manage to get it done, and on the days that I can’t, I give myself grace to do what I can with the time that I have.
My days consist of events, long walks with my dog, freelance pitching, and deciding what content creation and events will look like for my wellness collective, Transparent & Black.
Now, follow me on a random day in my life.
Morning
5:00 a.m.
My Goldendoodle keeps me on a schedule, so every morning, like clockwork, he wakes me up to use the bathroom and eat breakfast, at 5 a.m.! Am I usually over it first thing in the morning? 100%, but his being on a schedule challenges me to stick with mine and start the day on a productive note. He’s a wellness dog which means I feed him home-cooked meals and give him supplements daily to support his health, and he has a daily dental treat to keep his teeth healthy. Canine dental hygiene is imperative for a long life and a good smelling breath!
Today, I’m heading into the city, and I’ll be there almost all day, so when I’m gone that long, I take him to doggy daycare.
7:00 a.m.
Doggy daycare drop-off is filled with tons of barks, and my dog is practically jumping out of the car with excitement to see his friends. Now, some of y’all might be thinking, doggy daycare, sis, that’s too much for a dog! But it’s not, socialization is key for dogs, and so is keeping my house intact when I’m gone for long periods of time. Does he go daily? No, we aren’t rich (yet, we gotta manifest!), but when my dog is happy and experiencing play, and I’m happy attending events, I feel accomplished.
Having a pet is a serious responsibility, and I pride myself on knowing that I am invested in his mental and emotional health by encouraging his socialization with his friends.
7:30 a.m.
Headed to my local coffee shop to grab my go-to order. Iced coffee, a single shot of espresso, half and half, and 3 pumps of agave. Winter, spring, summer, fall, I am an iced coffee girl. I love it, especially after a workout where I’ve broken a sweat - nothing about having hot coffee after I’ve been sweating for over an hour feels good to me.
8:00 a.m.
Back home listening to Carlos King's commentary on YouTube in the shower (what can I say, commentary on reality TV drama relaxes me, don’t judge!) and prepping for the first stop on the agenda for today which is an event in the city. Without traffic, I’m about a 25-minute drive to Manhattan but it’s rush hour, so that 25 minutes is about 55 which means I have to head out soon so that I can arrive on time.
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9:00 a.m.
Headed to Manhattan for a Black History Month event with Meta, Peloton, and We The Culture. I wanted to take the train, but I ran out of time, so I hopped in an Uber because I didn’t want to be late, and I had my daily check-in with my best friend while I rode in the Uber. We talk daily and have since our early twenties to check in with each other. I'm grateful that while many aspects of my life have changed, this is still a constant. As we age, prioritizing our friendships for sure gets harder, but it’s not impossible in the least bit when both parties are invested.
9:30 a.m.
Emailing my editor from the car to ask for a deadline extension and sharing with her my ideas for pieces for the month! I’m grateful to have been on both sides of the journalism space. I’ve been a managing editor for years for publications, and I’ve also had the honor to work with managing editors, deputy editors, and editors-in-chief who have poured into me and understood how quickly my schedule can change, I’m honored at the magic we’re able to create together.
As a storyteller, from content that I share to my platform to pieces that I write, I’m having fun again in this season of my life, and I am loving it.
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10:00 a.m.
The event begins, and I can’t lie, when I host my own events, I’m not scared, but as a social anxiety girlie, events sometimes can be a little scary. I am naturally a very shy girl, but wellness events always feel like home to me. You don’t have to dress up; you can show up in workout gear because most of the time you’re experiencing some form of wellness and fitness even during the event. Moments into the panel discussion we experienced a seated meditation led by Peloton instructor Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts - talk about a way to kick the day off!
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The discussion hosted by Meta and Peleton touched on the importance of taking up space in industries and spaces where Black women and people are underrepresented, our self-care regimens, and We The Culture also shared how their work came to be. It was such a powerful event, and of course, we got the inside scoop on Peloton’s newest machines! I also spoke with some people (it’s important to me to always say hello to those who put on the event) and ended up sitting next to THE Pilates girl herself, Raven Ross. She was such a sweetheart, and we talked about our love for Pilates and the importance of community events like this.
Afternoon
2:00 p.m.
Leaving the event, I headed to Sephora to see if I could find Topicals' always sold-out Slick Salve, but to no avail, so I pulled out my phone and ordered it on their website as I walked back to the train station to head back home. I am a girl who loves to walk, so I’m always down for a long walk to the station and a walk back home when time permits, so that’s exactly what I did. I did about four miles just between walking back to Penn Station and walking back to my apartment once I got off the train!
4:30 p.m.
My phone started blowing up because the piece that Oprah Daily asked me to write was published for Black History Month, and my face was on Oprah’s website, AOL’s homepage, and the publication's Instagram page! My mama, aunties, cousins, dad, and everyone who has known me since I was a little girl were beyond proud and excited to see that and how far I’ve come.
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Evening / Night
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5:30 p.m.
I headed to my gym in my home (praise the Lord for apartment amenities) for a quick swim before I picked up my dog from daycare, and then I headed to the sauna and ran into a neighbor who is another successful Black woman killing it in her own right in the tech space. We chatted about life updates and the importance of taking time for our mental health and it felt good to ground myself with swimming. Much of my life has changed in the past few years, but swimming has remained a constant.
Whenever something amazing happens I soak it in and then immediately do what I can to ground myself to stay present, humble, grateful, and focused on what’s ahead.
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6:30 p.m.
It started raining badly and my anxiety is all over the place on the drive to pick up my dog but I practice some deep breathing and remind myself that I have had a calm day and it can end calm as well. I don’t need to rush there, I can drive at a pace that feels good to me. My mother calls to check on me because she sees the weather is terrible and asks me to let her know when I arrive safely.
7:00 p.m.
I arrived at doggy daycare, and the rain is calming down. Can y’all see why I take him?! They watch him all day! My dog is exhausted in the best way and ready to go home and sleep, and I can sit down and relax when we head back home.
9:00 p.m.
I’m back home, took a bath, ordered my favorite healthy Chinese takeout (beef and shrimp with broccoli, light sauce with brown rice), and I’m on the couch with a glass of sustainable wine from one of my favorite Black-owned brands, House of Brown watching Sistaswith a side of kimchi to enjoy with dinner. My candles are lit, I’m letting the highs of the day sit with me and stillness come over me as I prepare for bed.
10:30 p.m.
I took my dog out for a final walk, gave him his bedtime treat, and it’s lights out to prepare for another day.
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