Sex can be very different things for different people, and believe it or not, but it doesn't have to begin or end with penetration in order to be considered sex. Intercourse is often a defining principle for our language around sex, but there are some uncharted waters we should all look to discover, and that is the wonderful world of outercourse. Which then segues us into the much-needed conversation of non-penetrative sex positions.
While having someone be inside of you (or the reverse) can seem like the most physically intimate act one can experience, outercourse in non-penetrative sex can emphasize intimacy on another level. Pleasure can be felt and highlighted on parts of the body that might only receive attention during foreplay. Outercourse serves as a reminder to treat the appetizer like the entree it truly is, and the end result can be transformative to how we see and experience sexual pleasure.
Ready to take your love-making to new levels of intimacy? Below are four non-penetrative sex positions to try tonight.
Missionary
Missionary is an old-faithful when it comes to tried and true sex positions. Similar to the missionary position, this variation of the intercourse version, the receiving partner will lay on their back and the giving partner will position themselves on top of them. Instead of penetration being involved, the giving partner will grind against the receiving partner so that the focal point is arousal through clitoral stimulation, rubbing, kissing, and touching.
Pretzel Dip
A perfect position for clitoral and nipple stimulation, the Pretzel Dip position involves the receiving partner sitting back with their legs spread. While propped up on their knees, the giving partner will play with the receiving partner's clit. During this action, they can intensify things even further by upping the ante with kissing and nipple play with either the other's free hands or mouth. The giving and receiving partners can take turns and incorporate actions like kissing, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and/or nipple stimulation.
The Chairman
The Chairman sex position involves the receiving partner utilizing the giving partner as a "seat" so to speak as they grind their way to ecstasy. The receiving partner will straddle the partner's legs while faced away, allowing the giving partner to be able to stimulate their clit as they receiving partner grinds against them. They also have freedom to grab breasts, play with nipples, kiss their partner's neck and back, as well as bring in a sex toy or two.
Magic Mountain
Mutual masturbation is the name of the game when it comes to the Magic Mountain position. In order to do this position, both partners must sit down facing each other with their legs bent. Sit close enough so that if either partner feels like reaching out to touch the other, they can.
Both partners will engage in self-pleasure while watching the other, their facial expressions, the way they bite their lip to hold back a moan, the way they twist their nipples to intensify their pleasure, the way they lick their hand before touching themselves, etc. The end result is an extremely intimate vulnerable act that adds a new layer to the way you view masturbation.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
