Love is in the air! In honor of celebrating black love stories, we talked to six women who shared their stories of how their boos popped the question. And y'all, these fellas got creative when asking the love of their life to marry them.
Related: 9 Months After We Broke Up, I Proposed
Whether these ladies got engaged recently or are already married to their forever, these stories will make you swoon, laugh and cry. Check out some of the most romantic proposal stories ever, starting off with my proposal story with my now-husband. Read on for more.
Char & Mark
Courtesy of Writer Char & Mark
"Mark and I were together for almost two years when he proposed. It was one of those relationships where we always knew we would end up together, it just had to be the right time. In all honesty, I knew a proposal was coming, but I definitely didn't expect it when it actually happened. We were planning a trip to Atlanta for his sister's birthday party, and he told me to bring something nice because he wanted to take me to dinner. I literally joked with my friend, 'And he BETTER propose!' but legit didn't think he would. From my hair, to my outfit, to being sick, it seemed like everything went wrong the night we went to dinner. But everyone went out of their way to make sure everything was perfect. I still had no idea why.
"We get to dinner at a beautiful restaurant, and he kept looking behind me and going to the bathroom. I thought it was really weird but I just took that time to eat some of the food off his plate. The waiter came and asked if we wanted dessert and Mark said yes. He brought the dessert menu and walked away. I looked at the menu and I told Mark, 'Oh they have apple pie!' I had been craving it. He was like, 'Well look and see what else they have.'
"I look at the full menu and on the other side was the story of how we met. When I got done reading (I'm still not sure what the end said because my eyes were blurry with tears), he had walked over and got down on one knee. I said yes and we became those people in the restaurant getting engaged as all of the other diners started clapping and cheering. We went down the elevator to the lobby and when we got off, my parents, brother, sister-in-law, his parents and a bunch of our friends were waiting for us. It really was one of the best moments ever!"
Janaya & Drae
Courtesy of Drae & Janaya
"Drae and I bonded instantly. After our first date (that lasted approximately 10 hours), I knew I had met someone special. We were so comfortable with each other and I could not wait to see him again. After about 18 months of dating, in addition to being in love, we realized that we had also become great friends. We talked about everything and encouraged each other through challenging times. Sticking together through those times and coming out better is what assured me that Drae was the one.
"On a Friday afternoon, he went and had a conversation with my father where he asked for his blessing of my hand in marriage. Later that evening, I came home to the words 'JANAYA WILL U MARRY ME?' spelled out in red rose petals on the dining room floor. Red roses are my favorite, and it was all so beautiful! He dropped down to one knee, presented the ring, and told me that life would be best together. Then he asked if I would do him the honor of being his wife. And I said YES!"
Sarah & Chris
Courtesy of Chris & Sarah
"Looking back on the day my husband proposed, it was an unassuming day to say the least. We had been together for a while and I hoped he would pop the question, but I had no idea he was going to do it when he did. Chris' dad is a head manager on a boat in Detroit called the Detroit Princess. The whole time we're dating, his dad would always invite us to have dinner on the boat, but Chris would always say no. Well on this 'unassuming' day, his dad invited us on the boat yet again, and Chris finally said yes. I still had no clue what was being planned. We arranged to drop off our daughter Jaedah to his aunt's house for the day and got dressed for our evening.
"We get on the boat and sure enough, the same group was performing all the Motown jams, but we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. This time was obviously different because about halfway into their performance, they started to perform "Never Let Her Go" and one of the lead singers came directly to our table and started singing to me. I thought it was strange, but I caught on to what was happening. Chris's starry face gave it away… he's never starry-eyed by the way. He's so stern and serious most of the time.
"He sat me down in a chair facing the band with my back to the crowd. That's when he did his spiel, asking me to spend the rest of my life with him and I said yes. We get up to start slow dancing, and wiping each other's tears and I said to him, 'Man, does my mom and dad know about this?' And sure enough, he turned me around while we were dancing and my whole family was there! Including our daughter Jaedah! He knows how much my family means to me, and to be able to share that moment with them broke me all the way down in the best way possible. We're celebrating six years of marriage this month, and now have three kids."
Bri & Joe
Courtesy of Bri & Joe
"My now-fiancé, Joe, and I haven't lived in the same state since high school and had been on and off for 11 years. I'm a realtor and radio personality in Chicago, and Joe is a football coach in Miami. But somehow through it all, we made it work. For the proposal, my nonprofit organization BF Cares hosts an event every month to give items to those in need. I moved up the date for this month so he could be there. Just a day before the event, he told me he wasn't going to make it but his family would. You can imagine how disappointed and sad I was. But I had to mask my feelings for this event.
"So while the group continued to make packages, my daddy pulls me to the side and tells me to follow him to the car. He gives me this card from Joe that said, 'Sorry I couldn't make it baby. I'll make it up to you.' I'm reading it like, 'Yeah yeah, okay!' I get back inside and while I'm hanging up my coat, all of my family and friends and his family are there with their phones out laughing at me and there's this BIG box. I opened it and Joe was inside on his knee! Before he could get the words out to even ask me, I damn near tackled him and said yes! I was just so excited to see him. Then he officially asked me and of course I said YES! IT was the perfect place to do it because both of our families were there and we ended the event Chicago stepping, dancing and giving back to our community."
Rae & DC
Courtesy of Rae & DC
"My boyfriend came home on his lunch one day (I've always worked from home), but of course I had no idea he was intending to propose. I was on a call and he insisted that I get off the phone. I immediately got an attitude because I'm like, sir, I'm working. Do I bust up in your office talking about 'Baby can you get off the phone and spend some time with me?' So I get off the phone and he asks me to warm up leftovers so we can eat lunch together. I warm up the food and then we sit on the couch and he turns on Maury. Yes, Maury. He's addicted to that show.
"So he's all into the show and who the daddy is and I was talking to him about something (who knows, probably complaining about work) but he was ignoring me because he really wanted to see who the father was. So at this point, I'm livid and like, 'You interrupted my work, make me warm up stupid leftovers, and now you're ignoring me to watch Maury?' I told him I wished he would just throw up the leftovers all over himself. Then he looked at me in this weird way and took a small box out of his pocket and threw it at me. I opened it and threw it back and was like, 'Uh no way… this is not happening.' I didn't even think the ring was real. And he says, 'No, really. I want to marry you.' He got down on one knee and proposed! Now, we've been married for almost four years. Ain't God good?"
Camryn & Jae
Courtesy of Camryn & Jae
"We'd been dating for five years, living together for four. Had a house, a child, even a dog, for me, the only thing missing was a ring. About a year into the relationship, we discussed marriage. He made it clear that his intention was to marry me, he just hadn't found the right ring in time for my birthday. Instead, he booked us an epic staycation in Atlanta during OutKast's last performance downtown.
"Fast-forward to four years later. I was getting incredibly tired of waiting and engagement season was officially here. I had been patiently waiting, and it was Christmas Day. We went to his family's house for dinner with my grandmother. After dinner, my fiancé's dad starts playing Christmas music on his saxophone. (He used to play professionally for the Clark Sisters) I'm sitting next to my grandmother, and my fiancé and his dad are both serenading her. I thought, 'OMG it's about to happen!' But it didn't.
"On the way home from my grandmother's, we started arguing because he wanted to go to the studio to record with a well-known international artist. Any other day I would have been cool, but the fact that it was Christmas Day, I was not about to be left at home alone. Luckily, he came to his senses quickly and he agreed that we would find a movie and cuddle. I got in bed still slightly annoyed, and he knew it. But he also knew what he needed to do to apologize.
"He started kissing on my neck, and of course one thing led to another. Taking full advantage of our son being away, we were being extra verbal in bed that evening. As I am about to climax, he asks me if I want to be with him forever. I say, 'Yes.' He asked me again, 'Are you sure you want me forever?' At this point I'm really almost there, and I scream, 'YES, FOREVER!' It was at that exact moment I felt him slide something onto my ring finger. I tried to look at my hand, but it was too dark, so I pulled him closer and we finished together. Next thing I know, I am being carried to our bathroom (still naked). As soon as he put me down and turned the light on, he was kneeling in front of me, holding my left hand and formally asked me to marry him."
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Originally published on March 20, 2019
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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