6 Women Share Their Unforgettable Proposal Stories
Love is in the air! In honor of celebrating black love stories, we talked to six women who shared their stories of how their boos popped the question. And y'all, these fellas got creative when asking the love of their life to marry them.
Related: 9 Months After We Broke Up, I Proposed
Whether these ladies got engaged recently or are already married to their forever, these stories will make you swoon, laugh and cry. Check out some of the most romantic proposal stories ever, starting off with my proposal story with my now-husband. Read on for more.
Char & Mark
Courtesy of Writer Char & Mark
"Mark and I were together for almost two years when he proposed. It was one of those relationships where we always knew we would end up together, it just had to be the right time. In all honesty, I knew a proposal was coming, but I definitely didn't expect it when it actually happened. We were planning a trip to Atlanta for his sister's birthday party, and he told me to bring something nice because he wanted to take me to dinner. I literally joked with my friend, 'And he BETTER propose!' but legit didn't think he would. From my hair, to my outfit, to being sick, it seemed like everything went wrong the night we went to dinner. But everyone went out of their way to make sure everything was perfect. I still had no idea why.
"We get to dinner at a beautiful restaurant, and he kept looking behind me and going to the bathroom. I thought it was really weird but I just took that time to eat some of the food off his plate. The waiter came and asked if we wanted dessert and Mark said yes. He brought the dessert menu and walked away. I looked at the menu and I told Mark, 'Oh they have apple pie!' I had been craving it. He was like, 'Well look and see what else they have.'
"I look at the full menu and on the other side was the story of how we met. When I got done reading (I'm still not sure what the end said because my eyes were blurry with tears), he had walked over and got down on one knee. I said yes and we became those people in the restaurant getting engaged as all of the other diners started clapping and cheering. We went down the elevator to the lobby and when we got off, my parents, brother, sister-in-law, his parents and a bunch of our friends were waiting for us. It really was one of the best moments ever!"
Janaya & Drae
Courtesy of Drae & Janaya
"Drae and I bonded instantly. After our first date (that lasted approximately 10 hours), I knew I had met someone special. We were so comfortable with each other and I could not wait to see him again. After about 18 months of dating, in addition to being in love, we realized that we had also become great friends. We talked about everything and encouraged each other through challenging times. Sticking together through those times and coming out better is what assured me that Drae was the one.
"On a Friday afternoon, he went and had a conversation with my father where he asked for his blessing of my hand in marriage. Later that evening, I came home to the words 'JANAYA WILL U MARRY ME?' spelled out in red rose petals on the dining room floor. Red roses are my favorite, and it was all so beautiful! He dropped down to one knee, presented the ring, and told me that life would be best together. Then he asked if I would do him the honor of being his wife. And I said YES!"
Sarah & Chris
Courtesy of Chris & Sarah
"Looking back on the day my husband proposed, it was an unassuming day to say the least. We had been together for a while and I hoped he would pop the question, but I had no idea he was going to do it when he did. Chris' dad is a head manager on a boat in Detroit called the Detroit Princess. The whole time we're dating, his dad would always invite us to have dinner on the boat, but Chris would always say no. Well on this 'unassuming' day, his dad invited us on the boat yet again, and Chris finally said yes. I still had no clue what was being planned. We arranged to drop off our daughter Jaedah to his aunt's house for the day and got dressed for our evening.
"We get on the boat and sure enough, the same group was performing all the Motown jams, but we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. This time was obviously different because about halfway into their performance, they started to perform "Never Let Her Go" and one of the lead singers came directly to our table and started singing to me. I thought it was strange, but I caught on to what was happening. Chris's starry face gave it away… he's never starry-eyed by the way. He's so stern and serious most of the time.
"He sat me down in a chair facing the band with my back to the crowd. That's when he did his spiel, asking me to spend the rest of my life with him and I said yes. We get up to start slow dancing, and wiping each other's tears and I said to him, 'Man, does my mom and dad know about this?' And sure enough, he turned me around while we were dancing and my whole family was there! Including our daughter Jaedah! He knows how much my family means to me, and to be able to share that moment with them broke me all the way down in the best way possible. We're celebrating six years of marriage this month, and now have three kids."
Bri & Joe
Courtesy of Bri & Joe
"My now-fiancé, Joe, and I haven't lived in the same state since high school and had been on and off for 11 years. I'm a realtor and radio personality in Chicago, and Joe is a football coach in Miami. But somehow through it all, we made it work. For the proposal, my nonprofit organization BF Cares hosts an event every month to give items to those in need. I moved up the date for this month so he could be there. Just a day before the event, he told me he wasn't going to make it but his family would. You can imagine how disappointed and sad I was. But I had to mask my feelings for this event.
"So while the group continued to make packages, my daddy pulls me to the side and tells me to follow him to the car. He gives me this card from Joe that said, 'Sorry I couldn't make it baby. I'll make it up to you.' I'm reading it like, 'Yeah yeah, okay!' I get back inside and while I'm hanging up my coat, all of my family and friends and his family are there with their phones out laughing at me and there's this BIG box. I opened it and Joe was inside on his knee! Before he could get the words out to even ask me, I damn near tackled him and said yes! I was just so excited to see him. Then he officially asked me and of course I said YES! IT was the perfect place to do it because both of our families were there and we ended the event Chicago stepping, dancing and giving back to our community."
Rae & DC
Courtesy of Rae & DC
"My boyfriend came home on his lunch one day (I've always worked from home), but of course I had no idea he was intending to propose. I was on a call and he insisted that I get off the phone. I immediately got an attitude because I'm like, sir, I'm working. Do I bust up in your office talking about 'Baby can you get off the phone and spend some time with me?' So I get off the phone and he asks me to warm up leftovers so we can eat lunch together. I warm up the food and then we sit on the couch and he turns on Maury. Yes, Maury. He's addicted to that show.
"So he's all into the show and who the daddy is and I was talking to him about something (who knows, probably complaining about work) but he was ignoring me because he really wanted to see who the father was. So at this point, I'm livid and like, 'You interrupted my work, make me warm up stupid leftovers, and now you're ignoring me to watch Maury?' I told him I wished he would just throw up the leftovers all over himself. Then he looked at me in this weird way and took a small box out of his pocket and threw it at me. I opened it and threw it back and was like, 'Uh no way… this is not happening.' I didn't even think the ring was real. And he says, 'No, really. I want to marry you.' He got down on one knee and proposed! Now, we've been married for almost four years. Ain't God good?"
Camryn & Jae
Courtesy of Camryn & Jae
"We'd been dating for five years, living together for four. Had a house, a child, even a dog, for me, the only thing missing was a ring. About a year into the relationship, we discussed marriage. He made it clear that his intention was to marry me, he just hadn't found the right ring in time for my birthday. Instead, he booked us an epic staycation in Atlanta during OutKast's last performance downtown.
"Fast-forward to four years later. I was getting incredibly tired of waiting and engagement season was officially here. I had been patiently waiting, and it was Christmas Day. We went to his family's house for dinner with my grandmother. After dinner, my fiancé's dad starts playing Christmas music on his saxophone. (He used to play professionally for the Clark Sisters) I'm sitting next to my grandmother, and my fiancé and his dad are both serenading her. I thought, 'OMG it's about to happen!' But it didn't.
"On the way home from my grandmother's, we started arguing because he wanted to go to the studio to record with a well-known international artist. Any other day I would have been cool, but the fact that it was Christmas Day, I was not about to be left at home alone. Luckily, he came to his senses quickly and he agreed that we would find a movie and cuddle. I got in bed still slightly annoyed, and he knew it. But he also knew what he needed to do to apologize.
"He started kissing on my neck, and of course one thing led to another. Taking full advantage of our son being away, we were being extra verbal in bed that evening. As I am about to climax, he asks me if I want to be with him forever. I say, 'Yes.' He asked me again, 'Are you sure you want me forever?' At this point I'm really almost there, and I scream, 'YES, FOREVER!' It was at that exact moment I felt him slide something onto my ring finger. I tried to look at my hand, but it was too dark, so I pulled him closer and we finished together. Next thing I know, I am being carried to our bathroom (still naked). As soon as he put me down and turned the light on, he was kneeling in front of me, holding my left hand and formally asked me to marry him."
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Originally published on March 20, 2019
Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” At close to two decades of working with married couples, I agree with this man 1000 percent. It’s actually the main motivation for why I once penned, “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?” because, the reality is, if you’re not friends with the person who you vowed to share every aspect of your life with, for the rest of your life, it’s going to be very difficult (if not damn near impossible) to honor that level of commitment. Without question, I will now and forever die on the hill that if you like your partner, you can make it through the not-so-in-love-right-now moments. Vice versa? Eh…not so much.
A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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Featured image by jose carlos cerdeno martinez/Getty Images