3 Keys To Knowing (And Getting) EXACTLY What You Want

The motivational memes are only useful if you know what you want and how you'll get it.


I'll admit it: I've been getting a little annoyed by all of the memes, statuses and reminders that 2020 is right around the corner. Partly because I consider my birthday as my own personal New Year, but also because many times, our Instagram feeds look like a buffet of other peoples' accomplishments and manifestations.

We watch in awe as women we know (or know of) harness their power. They inspire us to do, be and have more. And that inspiration feels amazing--especially when we know that their accolades, recognition and rewards are well-deserved and long overdue.


As a truly empathetic person and chronic people-watcher, I sometimes consider those of who are still out on the fringes. Y'know, the ones who feel like they're floating.

Women who know they potential, and have a vague idea of who they would like to be, but aren't sure how to make it happen. Because, let's face it: the motivational memes and abstract advice are only useful if you know EXACTLY what you want and how you'll get it.

As I've gotten further along the path to achieving my own goals, I've realized something: to even get started, there was some really BASIC shit that I just...didn't know I needed to do.

There are also things that helped me, that I didn't even realize I was doing. In the last year, I've left (a couple) of "friendships" and situationships that no longer served me. I intentionally manifested a position in a field that I wanted within days, and have built some serious momentum in establishing my own brand. These steps may sound small, but it's all 100% more than I was doing this same time last year, and they're all 100% moving me toward what I want for my life.

I have a long way to go, but I hope this serves you as a starting guide to knowing and GETTING exactly what you want. First things first:

Know That You Are Inherently Worthy


They key word here is "inherently". You don't have to earn your worthiness. Believing this is the very first, most important step (and sometimes the most foreign). It's much easier said than done. Work on making worthiness a part of your being.

If you find women (famous or not) who are happy, inspired and finding peace in their lives, read their books. Watch their interviews. Examine their thought processes and how they carry themselves. Begin to create new thought patterns that support this basic truth: YOU ARE INHERENTLY WORTHY AND DESERVING OF A PURPOSEFUL AND ENJOYABLE LIFE. Even if you believe this on a surface level, exposing yourself to these women continuously will reprogram your subconscious mind.

The second step is the most fun:

CLEARLY Establish Your Desires


Some may get overwhelmed with this one, or even defensive. So in my Obama voice, "Let me be clear."

Establishing desires or goals is not always about money. With no map, you go nowhere.

No one can judge you, so decide what you want. If you have no idea what you want, great! You now have a desire...to establish a desire. You can begin researching different professions or businesses, and looking for new opportunities.

If you're feeling stuck, just pick one or two things that make you say, "It would be amazing to accomplish that in my lifetime." Or in one year, or five years. Ignore the skeptic in your mind and don't pressure yourself too much—most desires, life paths or intentions change dramatically on their way to physical manifestation. Breathe, spend time alone and really get clear on what you want your future to look like.

While we're talking about getting clear, on to the next step:

Choose The Best Vehicle For Your Desires


I struggled with this one for a long time, because I always wanted the solution that would get me to my desires "faster". So until I found a vehicle that made me happy on the way, I had what some would call "shiny object syndrome".

Here's a secret: there are no shortcuts.

If your desire is a certain income level, or accolade, that's great. Consider these questions: What makes you happy outside of work? You're probably very good at something how can you teach or expand on that, or give the experience to others?

I personally don't agree when people say, "Find your passion, and you'll never work a day in your life."

However, I do believe that being passionate WHILE you're in pursuit of your goal will empower you, even when the journey towards your desires gets difficult, as it definitely will.

It's worth saying again, that success has little to do with income or status. The money will definitely follow, but a successful woman is the one who is happy with where she is, where she's going and where she's been.

But to pursue something, you will deeply serve yourself. And in serving yourself deeply, you serve the world. Whether you're starting a restaurant, taking care of foster dogs, singing or writing or doing nails...whatever the vehicle to your desire(s) is. Find what you desire to do, learn how to improve the lives of others while you do.

Don't forget that in the process of achieving your desires, you will give to the world, just by being you. It's a win-win.

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

Regina King Offers The Secret To Gaining True Power & Success

This Is What's Blocking You From Manifesting

How To Manifest The Life Of Your Dreams In 5 Steps

Meagan Good Believes This Is How You Get What You What You Want In Life

Featured image by Getty Images

As Normani continues to make her stride as a solo artist since the disbandment of girl group Fifth Harmony, the singer has since leaned on Kelly Rowland for advice. And who better than Kelly?

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

It was actually pretty close to this time last year when I penned the piece "How To Get Through The Holidays If You Don't Observe Them". Unlike some of the other articles that I write for the site, I pulled that one from very personal experience. Being that my personality is very wired to "be good" on something once I know its origin, holidays are something that I tend to take a pass on; this includes Thanksgiving (some insightful reads on its origin are found here, here and here). Still, this doesn't mean I'm not aware of the fact that many people use this time of year to reflect on their blessings and to say "thanks" for all the good that has come their way. Since I like to write on relationships a lot, I thought to myself, "Why not come up with ways for people to show gratitude to their significant other?"

Keep reading... Show less

I didn't want to say that I was having bad luck. That's not something I'd ever want to speak into existence over my life. But I will say something wasn't right. I had a few coins stacked in my purse from a one-time project as well as from an ongoing one. Then I received emails from not one but two publications within days apart asking me if I'd like to contribute a few articles every week. Opportunities and money were flowing in. If you follow the law of attraction, you'd say I was vibrating on a high frequency.

Keep reading... Show less

Tinashe has learned a lot about her mental health while growing up in the entertainment industry. The singer/songwriter began dancing at four years old and had her first movie role at five years old.

From there, she went on to be in a girl group The Stunners and act in TV shows like Two and a Half Men. Now as an independent artist focusing solely on her music, the "All Hands on Deck" singer opened up about the struggles she faced in the industry.

Keep reading... Show less

My favorite time of the year is the start of the official boot season which begins during the transitional period between summer and fall. What's most exciting about the sudden drop in temperatures is stepping back into those sleek pair of boots for the first time in months. Whether zipping up oldies but goodies or investing in a new fall 2021 boot trend, this year is all about the calf boot. Specifically, this is the best option when easing your summer clothes into the appropriate fall looks.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

'David Makes Man' Star Arlen Escarpeta Believes Love And Accountability Go Hand In Hand

"While we are quick to judge others, we really have to look at ourselves and call out some of the things that we do."

Latest Posts