Here's How To Make Doggystyle Feel More Intimate
Doggystyle is often placed in the doghouse when the conversation of intimate sex comes up. Historically, it’s believed that those who solely want to “hit it from the back" are not attracted to you or don’t want anything deep with you, and Doggystyle is their way to opt-out of a face-to-face connection. There is indeed a “no strings attached” connotation there. However, there are also couples deeply in love who enjoy the undeniable pleasure found in this position.
With the right person and the intent to please, Doggystyle is a superior move as far as intimacy is concerned – while still maintaining its pleasure principles and practicality. Back kisses, easy access to breasts, booty, and clitoris, and it allows for a range of depth are just a few reasons why Doggystyle is a superior intimate sex position. Oh, oh, and how could I forget the dripping sex that is your partner talking you through the act, which somehow comes more naturally when they have you on all fours?
Power/Starz
Because let's be real, what’s better than your partner talking you through a nut? Next to nothing. If you’re someone who has been uninterested in doggystyle for one reason or another, here are ways you can introduce more intimacy as well as helpful tips to keep it cute while keeping it nasty.
1. Communicate Your Needs and Desire
In regards to this position or really any, you will want to discuss what you need from it. Sex doesn’t have to be goal-oriented but it should be pleasure-oriented and if the lack of intimacy in any position is creating a lag in pleasure, you should openly discuss this. Furthermore, this will allow you to talk with your partner about what doors can be opened and which you both feel most comfortable staying closed. For example, doggystyle is a good position to introduce different sensations such as oral sex or anal play. You’ll want to set these guidelines beforehand for maximum pleasure and even safe words as they aren’t only for kinky sex.
2. Introduce Elements of Sensory Play
If you’re someone who doesn’t take advantage of the different types of touch that doggystyle allows, try it. This doesn’t mean you have to go to anal play immediately. But instead, try allowing your partner to place gentle, slow kisses on your backside. Other suggestions might include:
- Add toys for more stimulation of areas such as the g-spot, clitoris, or butt;
- If you’re a little kinky, try some wax play while on all fours (though not entirely necessary, they have special candles for this which I highly recommend if you haven’t dabbled in wax play before);
- Incorporate oral sex, which adds pleasure, while also providing additional lubricant.
3. Pace Yourself With Intervals
Just because you’re in doggystyle does not mean you have to sprint through the sex like a racehorse. In fact, because the position allows for so much depth from your partner, it may be best if you pace yourself. In the same way that intervals are preferred on the treadmill for maximum performance, consider using intervals in this position so you don’t feel like you’re getting “bunny rabbit” treatment and this also decreases the likelihood of your partner cumming too fast.
Instead of going a full round of sex (whatever that timeframe may be) at the same speed or tempo, try 10 minutes at a slow and sultry pace, then switch it up for about five minutes. The switch-up can be to solely kiss/touch each other or you might want to actually just change the pace of the stroke completely.
4. Keep It Spicy With Lingerie
Buy some sexy, lacy lingerie to spice it up. If you’re comfortable, go with some lacy crotchless panties (like these, here!). Furthermore, wearing lingerie always has a way of reminding you of who you are and boosting your self-esteem almost immediately. In fact, even while we’re using it to seduce, it’s actually more soothing to our ego than anything. At least for me. If you’re someone who still needs time to feel comfortable in lingerie, try using one of your partner's dress shirts as a cover-up. In fact, you can even dress up one of their t-shirts with a sexy pair of lacy panties if that’s preferable.
5. Aftercare
Just as important as communicating before sex is the act of communicating after. Each of you should create a safe space after sex, to present your dislikes and likes during your time together. Do keep in mind that aftercare can be as small a gesture as verbal communication or you can add more layers that encompass touch such as bathing with one another, cuddling, massages, etc.
Rest assured that adding these five elements to your doggystyle routine will make it feel less Ruff Ryders and more Lady and the Tramp.
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Featured image by Getty Images
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images